UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE GAME @ BLUE FLAMES!

Posted '2:07pm bells' Saturday 8th November 2014

'The Geordie Times' haz some very disappointin' news to tell yoo, wor loyal reeders and groundhoppers!

It iz aalmost certain that wor Northumberland Senior Cup tie against Team Northumbria WON'T be switched to the university sides groond (az waz expected!) but will be played @ 'Blue Flames' (aka Whitley Park) instead on Tuesday 18th November! (kick off '7:30 bells') 

This iz a huge 'body blow' to the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' coz we have of course been to 'Blue Flames' many times before, but have NEVAA seen an NUFC side play @ Coach Lane Sports Groond which iz just 'next door'!  < ("ONE DAY, MEBEEZ!?")

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS v THE TOON *** SUNDAY DINNATIME!

Updated '10:11am bells' Saturday 8th November 2014

ACTION FROM THE HAWTHORNS LAST JANUARY *** WE LOST 1-0
(TOON ARE IN YELLOW)

The fireworks are ower so it iz now 'wor turn' to see if we can 'rocket' up to the top half of the table and add to wor 'four in a row' winnin streak and beat 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom on Sunday, which iz a live telly game @ '1:30 bells'

Don't lets get carried away however, coz like aa said aboot the Man City away game last week, 'this iz NUFC and anything can happen'!

Aall 2,700 tickets for the away end have not suprizingly been sold and at the price of just £15 for big kids and just 'A FIVER' for sprogs and zimmerframeites <(and aa include meesel this time az concessions start at 60!) it's the bargain of the season!
(Contrast this with wor next away game after this against 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham, when aa must pay £43 for the 'priviledge'? of standin' near the corner flag behind the goal!)

Stat attack: Whereaz we haveent had a penalty for 30 games, WBA have had 2 in their last 4 games!
We are neck and neck with them in the table with 13 points each!
So far this season 'The Baggies' have 'bagged' just one win @ The Hawthorns in the Premyaa Leegue!

HISTORY: Wor 1st ever meetin' took place 116 years ago when NUFC won 3-0 @ St James' Park in front of 16,000 on 3rd December 1898 with Andy Aitkin, Jock Peddle and Joe Rogers scorin wor goals <(remember them?)
Away, wor 1st meetin' took place @ Stoney Lane on April Fools Day 1899 when we lost 2-0 in front of a 2,304 crowd
Leegue and Cups: Played 122, won 46, drawn 32, lost 44

Squad news: Papiss Cisse iz expected to play while Rolando Aaarons iz a doubt. Gabriel Obertan, Davide Santon and Seim De Jong are aall 'crocked'! 

FA YOUTH CUP **** "IT'S MILLWAALL AWAY!"

Posted '11:11pm bells' Friday 7th November 2014

"HERE!"

'Joyous news' haz just filtered through to 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' @ 'The Geordie Times', that we have drawn Millwaall away in the FA Youth Cup thord roond!---'The New Den' ne less!---a groond that we have nevaa ever been te before!

We are not 100% sure just when (or indeed for certain, just where!) the tie will definitely be played, but it must be played by 20th December.

We've done wor 'detective work' and Millwaall play Bolton at home in a Championship game on Friday 19th December (in wot we assume iz a live telly game!?) which leaves the followin' day 'free' for a match at 'The New Den'!

Millwaall have just started playin' their resorve games @ Princes Park, the home of Dartford FC and this could aalso be a possible venue for the tie! (anothaa groond that we that we have nevaa been te of course!)

"OR HERE!"

'The Geordie Times' will of course keep YOO wor loyal reeedership informed of any developments and will let yoo naa straight away the date and venue when we find oot!---watch this space az per usual!

FA YOUTH CUP DRAW *** TOOODAY!

Posted '11:10am bells' Friday 7th November 2014

The draw for the thord roond of the FA Youth Cup takes place today and 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have the moothwaaterin prospect of quite a few new groonds to visit, shud the draw be 'kind to us!?

Theeze include: MK Dons, Wealdstone, Oxford United, Royston, Rochdale, Fleetwood, Shrewsbury, Colchester, AFC Wimbledon and Barnet's new groond!

Wor preferred option iz ROCHDALE or FLEETWOOD az theeeze are the anly groonds in Lancashire that we have never visited---and of course it isn't tooo far to travel to theeze places eethaa!

We awaited the draw with fingers 'bitten to the bone' and will bring yoo it az soon az we find oot!  

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE! *** TEAM NORTHUMBRIA v THE TOON U21s

Posted '11:02am bells' Monday 3rd November 2014

"YOUR STARTER FOR TEN!"

"THE TOON U21s UNVEIL THEIR NEW DEFENSIVE LINE UP?"
"WHO'S THE GADGIE IN THE TIE THOUGH?"

 

NUFC U21 resorve side have drawn university side Team Northumbria @ home in The Northumberland Senior Cup with the tie due to be played by the end of November!

Rumour haz it that the tie could??? be switched to Team Northumbria's ground which iz just roond the corner from wor Benton trainin' base!

A groond that The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers have nevaa seen The Toon play on!!!!----we can anly wait 'with baited breath' to see if that iz the case!? <(watch this space to find oot!)


Meeenwhile!: Tooneet the resorve U21 squad make a rare visit to HQ when they take on The Hazbeenz and Villians U21s in a '7 bells' start!

Admission iz via The East Stand az per usual in theeze games!

Updated Tuesday:

The Toon won 5-2 with goals from Callum Roberts, two from Adam Armstrong, Haris Vuckic and Dan Barlaser.

Attendance @ St James' Park: 576

JOHN 'THE UNDERTAKER' R.I.P.

Posted '11:20am bells' Sunday 2nd November 2014

The private funeral of John 'The Undertaker' finally took place on Friday, some three and a half months after flight MH17 waz shot doon ower the Ukraine.

The funeral waz kept quiet with no notices  in the local papers, so anly close friends and family knew about it!

Hiz funeral service waz held at The West Road Crematorium in The Toon and to throw the press, paparazzi and TV 'off the scent' someone told them that the funeral waz to be held at Saltwell Cremetorium in Gateshead! (John lived in the Deckham area of Gateshead)

It worked az thankfully to the relief of hiz family and friends no TV or paparazzi torned up!

Afterwards we aall went back to 'The Bobby Robson Suite' @ St James' Park for a few drinks in hiz memory!
R.I.P John --- You (and Liam) will never be forgotten by us!

THE TOON v THE LIVERBIRDS *** TOODAY @ '12:45 BELLS'!

Posted 9:45am bells' Saturday 1st November 2014

ACTION FROM LAST SEASONS GAME @ SJP--- A 2-2 DRAW

In just 3 hours time we take on The Liverbirds in a Premyaa Leegue encounter @ St James' Park and we (amazingleee!) are gannin for wor FOURTH win 'on the bounce' followin' on from wor famous victory ower The Blue Moonies of Mancland last Wednesday!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow----must dash now!----gannin oot 'on the hoy' for some orly 'liquid lubrications' before the dinnaatime start!

THE BLUE MOONIES 0 THE TOON 2 *** LEEGUE CUP 4th ROOND *** 2014-2015

Posted '12:37pm bells' Thorsday 30th October 2014

THE PICTURE'S A BIT BLURRED, BUT THIS IZ SISSOKO'S GOAL
THAT SEALED THE VICTORY!
SISSOKO IZ NEXT TO GOALIE AND BAALL IZ IN CENTRE OF PICTURE
JUST BEFORE IT CROSSED THE GOAL LINE!
*** 'GEORDIE TIMES' EXCLUUUSIVE!

(Deep breath!) >>>> "SUPERB SISSOKO SOLO STRIKE STUNS SAD SITY!" <("er!"--- CITY!)

AT LAST!---We have 'this monkey off wor back' az we recorded wor forst EVER win @ The City of Manc Stadium <(or whatever yi want to caall it?) at the TWELTH (12th) time of askin'!

A youthful Toon team took the field and az we said in 'The Geordie Times' yesterday "Thiz IZ NUFC and anything can happen!"---and it DID!

Wor forst strike of the neet came az orly az the SIXTH minute from Rolando Aarons who received a superb through baall from Ryan Taylor, who waz makin' hiz lang awaited comeback after two years on the sidelines with bad injuries!

"SPOT THE ADVERTS!?"***"WHERE'S MEE SUN GLASSES!?"

Arrons got the baall from Taylor and went on a mazy run into the box before firin' the baall past Caballero in the Blue Moonies goal to put us in the lead! (a 'Taylor made' goal!) <(sic!) This sent the 3,000 Toon faithful wild with delight az the players celebrated on the touchline.

Surely it couldn't last???---but it DID and we went in one goal to the good at the break!

In the 2nd half a blatent penalty in front of the Toon faithful waz torned doon by the ref when Obertan waz scythed doon in the box, much to the annoyance of aall the players and 'us'!

However!---justice waz done not lang after when 'super sub' 'The Sissoko Kid' ran into the box, beatin' a myriad <(we naa aall the big words!) of City defenders to fire home into the far corner of the net to the jubilation of the away fans, with just qwaataa of an hour left on the clock!

"CELEBRATIONS!"

We held oot for a famous victory against the current Leegue Cup holders and Premyaa Leegue champions and aa have to say that Ryan Taylor inparticular had a supurb game and waz influential in the result!
A 'TAYLS FROM THE UNEXPECTED' result--if ever their waz one!

The anly 'damper' on things came az we waalked back to wor mini bus after the game, when news came through that the draw for the qwaataa finals had paired us with Sporz!---AWAY!---who of course we visited and beat last Sunday in a Premyaa Leegue game!

Toon team: Elliot, Janmaat (Sissoko 65), Coloccini, Dummett, Haidera, Ryan Taylor, Abeid, Colback, Obertan, Armstrong (Rivere 65), Arrons (Sammy Ameobi 46)

Attendance: 40,752 (3,000 jubilant Toon fans!)

THE PRE MATCH 'GARGELS' TOOK PLACE HERE!

 

"WE WAZ THERE!"

THE BLUE MOONIES v THE TOON *** LEEGUE CUP 4th ROOND! *** TOONEET!

Posted '12:50pm bells' Wednesday 29th October 2014

THE LAST TIME WE MET HERE! ----WE LOST 4-0 IN THE LEEGUE LAST SEASON!

For the 2nd time this month we heed for East Manchester where The Toon are takin' on 'The Blue Moonies' in the Leegue Cup (we watched the U18s at their Academy next to their old Maine Road ground at the beginning of the month (see match report in right hand column---ground 312)

The Toon have sold wor entire allocation of around aboot 3,000 tickets, but just which team we will be watchin' @ '7:45 bells' iz anybodys guess? az of course the 'cups' are a low (low!) priority az far az we are concerned!
Expect a completleee changed City side from normal az well!

The draw for the 'qwaataa finals' iz straight after wor game, but will we have the slightest bit interest in this?---Probably not!---but dafter things have happened! <(this iz NUFC after aall!)

A full 'Geordie Times' match report and pix will be forthcomin' sometime tomorrow mornin'/afternoon!  

P*SS POTTERS TAKIN' THE P*SS!

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 28th October 2014

FRANCE----OUTRAGED ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS STORM THE
PORT OF CALAIS AFTER HEARIN' THE NEWS OF THE CHANGE OF
VENUE FOR WOR U21s RESORVE GAME!

 
A heinous and despicable act haz been committed on the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' by Stoke City FC!
They have outrageously changed the venue of their resorve game against us from Moss Rose, Macclesfield to their own Britannia Stadium on Friday 14th November, thus denin' us the opportunity of visitin' a new groond, az of course we played @ 'The Britannia' anly a few weeks ago and have been to that god forsaken place surrounded by duel carraigeways quite a few times anyway!

EGYPT----CENTRAL CAIRO! 
"SHOES OFF IF YI HATE P*SS POTTS!"

Repercussions have aalready started aroond the planet by outraged NUFC groundhoppers in protest and 'The Geordie Times' haz obtained excluuusive photos of this from Calais to Cairo and beyond!   

U.S.A.----AN ANGRY PROTESTER CLIMBS THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING IN
NEW YORK, ON HEARIN' THE NEWS!