CONSETT 0 THE TOON RESORVES 6 (SIX!)

Updated 'high noon bells' Thorsday 16th May 2013

(Ground number 187 re-visited***last ever visit)
Date of Last Visit:15th May 2013
Belle Vue Park, Consett

Consett  0
Newcastle United reserve X1  6 (six!) (Inman 2, Tavernier, Aarons, Quinn, Streete)  

Friendly Fixture
Attendance:1,000 (estimated) (mostly Toon fans, 1 Villa fan, 0 SMBs!) 


"CONSETT BITE THE 'RED' DUST!"

BRAD INMAN SCORES THE 1ST GOAL

The last game ever for Consett AFC @ Belle Vue waz played toneet when The Toon sent a strang resorve side up to the moontains of Coonty Durham!

The pre match 'gargels' took place in 'The Grey Horse' 'real ale' boozer, which iz a five minute waalk from the groond and where the beer iz actually brewed!

Pints of 'Red Dust Bitter' were consumed in this former steel toon, where 'red dust' used to dye the toon 'crimson' from the huge steelworks 30 years ago, but which have lang since 'bit the dust'<(sic!)

A canny crowd looked to have assembled az we queued to get through the tornstiles and we guessed that there were aboot 1,000 present az the game kicked off!

Consett iz one of them places when NUFC and SMB fans are split 50-50 in torms of support for both teams and just last week the SMBs played a friendly here in front of just 400 spectators! (less than half of toneets crowd!)

There were loads of Toon fans of aall ages dotted aroond the groond, but aa didn't spot ONE mackem in the crowd, which waz suprizin'? (but aa DID spot a youngin in a Villa jacket!)

Dark grey sky's greeted the players<(not unexpected roond theeze parts in May!) and before lang The Toon had taken the lead when Brad Inman waltzed aroond their keeper to put us 1-0 up after just 8 minutes play!
The Steelmen fought back but could'nt find the equaliser and we went in 1-0 up at the break!

A mad dash to the clubhoose to beat 'the crowd' then ensued and a pint of 'Banks Bitter' waz ordered by yours truely!
The barman commited that everybody waz drinkin' 'Banks', but I pointed oot to him that that waz the anly 'bitter' on offer anyway!--so wot else could aa ask for???(apart from Fosters Lager---which aa divvint like!---like!)


TAVERNIER PENALTY***2-0!

Anyway!---we managed to make the 2nd half kick off in time and within a minute we were 2-0 up when Tavenier covorted a penalty after Brad Inman had been hacked doon in the box!
Inman made it 3 not lang after with a low drive through the box.
Rolando Aarons made the game safe in the 54th minute when he poked the baall in from close range and then 'The Mighty Quinn' (Jonathyn) scored a simalar goal not lang after to increase wor lead to wot waz becomin' a cricket score!

The part timers from 'Red Dust Country' looked knackered by this point and a sixth goal in the final minute sealed their misery when 'Quality
Streete' (Remie) turned in a corner to complete the rout!

Consett played in aall red, so it waz nice for a change to revorse a certain scoreline from two weeks ago @ St James'! (When anothaa team who play in aall red, 'The Liverbirds', put six past us!)

'GEORDIE TIMES' QUIZ QUESTION:
The Toon have played on anothaa English groond which ne langer exists, which waz aalso caalled  'Belle Vue'
Can yoo name the team who used to play there?
Clue: A very famous ex Toon player and manager waz born there!

'The Geordie Times' will give yoo the answer sometime next week, when we will de a groond report from that game az well!

PS For an archive report on wor visit to Belle View, Consett in 1999, scroll doon page

CONSETT PARTY IN FULL SWING ***JUST ONE! DAY TO GAN!

Posted '12:25pm bells' Thorsday 21st November 2013

"NO!"***NOT THAT! CONSERT PARTY!"

There iz just ONE DAY to gan before the BIG DAY at Consett when The Toon will open 'The Hillbillies' new groond @ 7:45 tomorrow neet!

Many (many!) 'mad-sad groundhoppers' will be in attendance to witness this historic occasion @ Belle Vue Stadium, includin' quite a few 'anorak' groundhoppers who follow non leegue futbaall!

Az mentioned previousleee we are sendin' a Toon X1 side up to the wilds of Coonty Durham and Peter Beardsley will de the honours az he haz been chosen to open the new groond!

The co-ordinates <(we naa aall the posh words!) for the groond for those of yoo with 'sat navs' iz: DH8 7ES 

A 1,000 crowd iz predicted by us, in wot iz sure to be to be a 'party atmosphere', so get there orly to 'claim' your place! (but divvint forget to tek your snow shovel with yoo---just in case!)

HEEDBANGIN' @ THE HEEDBANGERS!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 21st November 2013

"WHY DON'T WE PLAY THEM AT WAATERPOLO INSTEAD!"

Aa naa this iz a bit late!? but Gatesheed's home FA Cup tie with 'The Oxtail Soops' of Oxford waz  caalled off last neet at the last minute due to a waterlogged pitch after torrential rain on Tyneside!

A new date in the forst week of December haz been pencilled in for the re-arranged match!

Remember! 'The Geordie Times' brings yoo aall the latest news second hand***forst!

JUST TWO! DAYS TO GAN FOR 'THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS'! ***THE CONSETT HILLBILLIES v TOON X1

Posted '1:38pm bells' Wednesday 20th November 2013

"JUST TWO DAYS CHOMPIN' TO GAN!---MAAN!"

Forst of aall---apologeeez for not updatin' this site yesterday!---This waz due to circumstances beyond wor control az we had a power cut for three hours and the computaa 'went doon'!
(N POWER have got a lot of explainin' to de!)

Anyway!---the power iz back on and wor trip to 'The Hillbillies' of Consett on Friday neet iz still on az well, despite the inclement <(we naa aall the big words!) weathaa and 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' are 'chompin at the bit' at the prospect of yet anothaa new grooond to chalk off  'the (nevaa endin'!) list'!

'Michael Fish' still says there iz a risk of snow but divvint believe everything that he says aftaa gettin' the great storm of 1987 completely wrang!

"AND DON'T WORRY!*** TEMPERATURES WILL BE
IN THEIR HIGH 90s IN CONSETT ON FRIDAY NIGHT!"

Az mentioned previously, a 'Toon X1' side will be on parade for us with 'Beardo' openin' the groond and makin' a cameo appearance despite hiz 50 years plus age! <(hope he brings hiz 'zimmer'?)

Admission we understand iz six quid for grown ups and half that for zimmerframeites, while spogs can get in for just a quid! and kick off iz at '7:45 bells'
We estimate that a crowd of around 1,000 will torn up!?

More to follow on aall this later!

THE HEEDBANGERS v THE OXTAIL SOOPS ***TOONEET! ***FA CUP 1st ROOND REPLAY! ***"THE £90,000 GAME!"

Updated '1:40pm bells' Wednesday 20th November 2013

One of the biggest games in Conference side Gatesheed's recent history teks place toooneet @ Gatesheed International Stadium, when they play Oxford United of Leegue Two in an FA Cup replay which haz been dubbed "The £90,000 game!"

This iz because the winners will progress to the next roond where they will face Wrexham away in anothaa live telly game worth £90,000 in TV money etc! <(a considerable amoont for a 'cash strapped' club like Gatesheed!)
The forst game @ Oxford a week gone Saturday ended 2-2 after 'The Heed' threw away a 2 goal lead in the dyin' minutes!

If yoo buy an advance ticket for this game, then it will anly cost yoo A FIVER! ***However!-***if yoo decide to 'pay on the night' then this gans up to FOURTEEN QUID!***so yoo are well advised to get to the stadium ticket office yesterday if yoo plan on gannin' and save yourself NINE QUID! (openin' times are from '9am til 6:30pm bells'!)
(Zimmerframeite prices on the neet are NINE QUID while sprogs will anly have to pay TWO QUID to get in!)

'The Oxtails' are sure to bring a 'souper' followin' <(sic!) and a crowd of 2,500 iz wor guess?*** the game iz on live BT telly, with a '7:45 bells' kick off!

Unfortunately, az a'm workin' neetshift toneet, aa won't be able to gan, but aa will be listenin' intentleee on mee Truck radio az aa travel doon to Halesowen, sooth west of Bormingham, yet again! <(for the 87th time since Joon!) <(NO!---a'm not that sad---a'v got to keep coont az aa get paid by each trip!)   

OFFICIAL!*** 'BEARDO' TO OPEN NEW GROOND!

Posted '9:10am bells' Monday 18th November 2013


'The Geordie Times' can excluuusiveleee reveal that former Toon hero and current resorve team coach, Peter Beardsley, will open Consett's new groond this comin' Friday neet when a Toon X1 will provide the opposition!

'Beardo', who iz in hiz 50s now, iz set to play <(for at least some of the game!) and The Toon have promised to send their strongest possible team, bearin' in mind that we play 'The Canary Custards of Norwich' @ St James' Park the next day in a Premyaa Leegue encoontaa!

The new groond which haz one of them synthetic pitches iz to be called 'Belle Vue Stadium', which of course teks it's name from the old one which waz caalled simply 'Belle Vue'!

The anly doonside to aall this iz that snow iz expected later on this week az temperatures are set to plummet and Consett of course iz high up in the 'moontains' of Coonty Durham next to 'The Pennine chain', which doesn't help!

More to follow on aall this az the week progresses!

THE BAD BLUE BOYS 2 THE THIEVES of CROOK 1 ***FA VASE 2nd ROOND

Posted '10:55am bells' Sunday 17th November 2013

'THE CROOKS' GOALIE LIES IN THE GOALMOOTH IN DISPAIR
@ 'THE DUNSTON TEA-HUT END'
AZ 'THE BAD BLUE BOYS' TAKE A TWO GOAL LEAD!

2012 FA Vase winners 'Dunston Bad Blue Boys' progressed to the next roond of the competition yesterday when they beat 'The Thieves of Crook' 2-1 @ Federation Park, Dunston in front of an estimated 250 crowd! <(estimated by ME!)

The home side took the lead orly on @ 'The Dunston Rocketless End' <(The 'Rocket' tower block waz demolished last year!) when fine work from Danny Craggs and lee McAndrew foond Dale Burrell and hiz shot went in via the post!

The lead waz doubled orly in the 2nd period when a Stephen Goddard pass foond Nicky Kane and he wellied the baall into the Crook Toon net from the edge of the box @ 'The Dunston Teahut End', az their goalie laid despairingly on the pitch for aroond 30 seconds after the goal! (see above pic!)

The visitors pulled one back through a penalty at the mid-point of the half and it waz a nervy last qwaata of the game for 'The Bad Blue Boys' az  'The Crooks' tried to 'pinch' an equaliser!

ACTION AT 'THE DUNSTON ROCKETLESS END'

But it waz to ne avail and Dunston now progress to the next roond alang with 'The Whitley Bay Watchers' who won 3-0 against Runcorn Toon, 'The Pit Yaakkers of Ashington' who were 3-1 winners against Worksop and Morpeth Toon and Newcastle Benfield who both hit SIX in their respective games to reach roond 3, with the ultimate prize a trip to Wembley for the final next May!

After the match it off to the packed clubhoose to celebrate with the team with a few 'broon ales'! <(Imagine dein' that with the NUFC 1st team?)

"ER!"---"SORRY ABOOT THE CRUMPLED TEAMSHEET!
BUT IT'S BEEN IN MEE BACK POCKET SINCE YESTERDAY!"

THE BAD BLUE BOYS v THE THIEVES of CROOK ***FA VASE 2nd ROOND ***TODAY!

Posted '12:35pm bells' Saturday 16th November 2013

Az mentioned orlier this week, a'v decided to 'take in' Dunston's game against Crook Toon in the FA Vase @ Federation Park, Dunston, (kick off '3 bells') az of course 'The Toon' have yet anothaa blank weekend due to yet anothaa International break! <(Just wot good that done England last neet, who lost 2-0 to Chile @ Wembley, iz anybody's guess?)

Of course 'Wembley' iz the ultimate prize for the FA Vase finalists and it shud be a crackin' game in blustery conditions! <(ie: it's dead windy ootside  az aa speak az the waves in the Tyne testify! 

Anyway!--a'm takin' mee trusty camera alang to get a few fotos of the action on the pitch (and in the clubhouse!) and will post a match report later today or tomorrow for anybody who iz remotelee interested? <("ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!")

WORLD AND EUROPEAN AVERAGE GATES LEEGUE 2013-2014 (TOP 20)

Updated '1:40pm bells' Wednesday 13th November 2013


ST JAMES' PARK***THE MILBURN STAND

The Toon have dropped 3 places since last season in the world average gates leegue and we now find worsels ootside the top 10 in 13th place, the same az last month!
Wor average since then haz climbed to just above the 50,000 mark!
Europe haz aall the best supported sides in the world!

Borussia Dortmund from Jawmany are still the best supported club side in the world az we write, with an incredible average gate of ower 81,000!

1 Borussia Dortmund***81,430 (Jawmany)
2 Barcelona***80,437 (Spain)
3 The Cockney Reds of Salford***75,135 (London!)
4 Real Madrid***74,752 (Spain)
5 Bayern Munich***71,020 (Jawmany)
6 Real Sociedad***64,993 (Spain)
7 Schalke 04***61,604 (Jawmany)
8 The Arse***60,025 (London)
9 Hertha Berlin***55,569 (Jawmany)
10 Hamborg***53,691 (Jawmany)
11 Borussia Munchin' Gladbachs***52,456 (Jawmany)
12 Ajax***50,432 (Holland)
13 THE TOON***50,185 (Geordieland!)
14 Eintract Frankfurt***49,500 (Jawmany)
15 The Blue Moonies***47,047 (Mancland)
16 Celtic***46,016 (Scotland)
17 Stuttgart***45,694 (Jawmany)
18 Atletico Madrid***44,969 (Spain)
19 The Liverbirds***44,704 (Mickey Mooseland)
20 Hannover 96***44,257 (Jawmany)   

"BLANKETY BLANK!"

Posted '1:19pm bells' Tuesday 12th November 2013

"WHITLEY BAY or DUNSTON?"

With ne NUFC fixtures of any description from the forst team to the juniors for ELEVEN DAYS! we find worsels kickin' wor heels once again until a Toon X1 open Northern League Consett's new groond a week on Friday!

Yet anothaa 'blanket blank' weekend coz of Internationals meenz that we must find wor 'fix' this weekend somewhere else!

The FA Vase looks the best bet with quite a few Tyneside and Northumberland Northern League sides still in it.

Newcastle Benfield play Cheadle Toon from Cheshire, while 'The Pit Yaakkers' of Ashington host Worsop Parramore!

If yoo fancy a trip to the seaside then yoo can aalways watch Morpeth Toon who travel to Cleethorpes Toon <(aallso the home toon of Grimsby Toon of course!)

Whickham are at home to Parkgate, while fower times Vase winners Whitley Bay 'Watchers' play Runcorn Toon @ their Hillheads groond

2012 winners 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston play Crook Toon @ Federation Park and az as this iz the nearest game to me, then aa finx that's where aa'll be heedin' come Saturday @ '3 bells' <(via Dunston's clubhoose of course!)

Yoo could of course take in a Conference game @ Gatesheed Stadium where 'The Heedbangers' host Salisbury City! (with reduced prices for NUFC season ticket holders on production of your season ticket card!) (£9) (£2,U16's) 

Aall games kick off @ '3 bells'---The choice iz entirely yours!