EAST END GROUNDHOP! *** "AALL DAY TOMORROW!"

Posted '1:30pm bells' Friday 25th October 2013

To celebrate 125 years of the Northern League, they are dein' one of their famed groundhops tomorrow in Newcastle's east end!

Fower Northern League games will kick off at staggered times and the amazin' thing iz that matches on aall fower groonds are within two miles of each othaaa!
Add in the fact that The Toon U18s are takin' on Spors U18s @ Little Benton az well, then there's the unprecedented possibility of takin' in FIVE games in the space of NINE hours!

The itinerary iz az follows if yi stupid enough to de aall five!:
10:30 am bells: Heaton Stannington v Birtley Toon ***watch the 1st half and Then! 'move on' to Little Benton just up the road to watch the 2nd half of The Toon U18s game against Spors which kicked off @ 11 bells!***
Then! 'move on' to Darsley Park just roond the corner to watch West Allotment Celtic play North Sheeelds @ 1:15pm bells!
Then!***'move on' again and heed back to the groond next to Little Benton where Team Northumbria take on The Whitley Bay Watchers @ 4 bells' and Then! (finally!)*** 'move on' a fortha mile doon the road to watch Newcastle Benfield play Morpeth Toon @ 7 bells!

Best of luck yoo sad bustards!

PS: 'The Geordie Times' will NOT be on 'the hop' az a'm dein' anothaa neetshift run doon to Halesowen near Bormingham tooneet and will be tucked up in bed when the forst game kicks off!****"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!"
   

NUFC DERBY TEAM NEWS***EXCLUUUSIVE! ****FROM WOR INTREPID SECRET CLUB INSIDER!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 25th October 2013


"YEE NAA WOT!"

Wor secret club insider haz informed 'The Geordie Times' that despite the conspiracy theories aboot 'Fab' Coloccini 'jumpin ship', that he iz back on Tyneside for treatment from hiz trip to Argentina for personal reasons.
We understand that he could be oot for a lang time, which of course rules him oot of Sunday's derby match @ The Stadium of Sshhhh! (Yee Naa Wot!)

'Spiderman' (Gutierrez) iz oot for personal reasons az well and Yanga 'wanga' will aalso be missin' through suspension, coz of hiz sendin' of against 'The Liverbirds' the othaa week!

We understand that it's a 'toss up' between 'Dummy' and Steve Taylor az to who will partner Mike Williamson in cetral midfield!

More news (ne doubt?) from wor 'secret agent' az it happens!---watch this space!  

002 joker park revisited 1970

GROUND NUMBER 2 revisited
DATE OF THIS VISIT: 27^th MARCH 1970
JOKER PARK, BLUNDERLAND

BLUNDERLAND   1
NEWCASTLE UNITED   1  ('Jinky' Jimmy Smith)

(Old) DIVISION ONE
ATTENDANCE: 51,950 (at least 10,000 Toon fans in The Fulwell End!) (10,000 elsewhere!)


 
"THE GRAND OLD LEAZES END!"---
"WE HAD TEN THOUSAND MEN!"

  
This was mee thord visit to Joker Park and followin' on from mee forst visit in 1967 when we took half the Fulwell End, the next two years we brought more and more 'boot boys' to infiltrate the mackems 'hard end' and this time an attempt was made to take the whole of their beloved end!

The violence had been so bad in the previous visit in 1968 when darts, golf balls and aall manner of objects were hoyed at rival fans, that people even brung brollies to protect themsels from the incomin' missiles!


The train to Seaburn was (as usual) completely wrecked with seats, tables and even a carriage door bein' hoyed oot of the broken windows onto the tracks and the Toon fans were in a foul mood as we came into Seaburn Station.

Runnin' battles then ensued in the appropriately named 'Newcastle Road' as the mackems tried to ambush us but I have to tell you that they came off second best and fled doon the side streets as we desended onto Joker Park. It was pay on the gate as usual with ne segregation whatsoever and after a few hoose windows got caved in with 'half wollas' in the streets behind 'The Clock Stand' we heeded for wor destination---THE FULWELL!


"THE EASTER UPRISIN'!"

The mackems had beat us into the groond and were occupying the centre section of The Fulwell End as The Leazes Boot Boys made their entrance. As more and more Toon fans packed the terraces it soon became obvious that a mass fight was aboot to take place as the golf balls and darts rained in from the mackems section. By this time there were twice as many Toon fans as mackems and a 'charge of the light brigade style' was imminent!

With 'the Dibble' ootnumbered 'the charge' suddenly began as the home fans sang defiantly "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE THE FULWELL!"
before unfulin' a red banner which said the same
thing!

THIS! was like wavin' a red rag to a bull and it provoked mass fightin' as the boot boys 'laid in' to the ootnumbered mackems who were unceremiously chased onto the pitch and before lang the entire 'Ful'well End was 'full' of ten thousand plus 'black 'n' whites' on the rampage.

The displaced home fans were then escorted to the 'Roker End' where they bizarrely unfurled their 'YOU'LL NEVER TAKE THE FULWELL' banner once again, to huge laughter and piss takin' from the NEW Fulwell End occupants!


By this time the teams had ran oot the crowd had settled doon and the historic 100^th competitive mettin' between the clubs was underway (my 'sixth' in total, by the way!)

The mackems were bottom of the leeeg and with The Toon in sixth position an away win was on the cards in this 'Easter Uprisin'!.

The Toon were well on top in the forst half and Wyn Davies and 'Jinky Jim' (Smith) havin' blinders but they were thwarted by Montgomery in the home goal who kept us at bay in a game played in a blustery wind.


In the sixth minute of the second period however the deadlock was broken when Toon winger Keith Dyson flew doon the wing (would you believe!?) and crossed to 'Jinky Jim' who met the baall porfectlee to volley a supurb shot past the desparin' Montgomery to bulge the net!

'JINKY JIM'

This brought wild celebrations in The Fulwell End as we danced and sang on the terraces.

However!—the win wasn't to be and helped by the wind which was behind them the mackems equalised when Toon born (and *thorn!) Dennis Tueart slotted in an easy chance to send The Roker End wild!

It ended one's a piece, but the oweridin' memory for me that day was the complete takin' of 'The Fulwell'

Er!—aa can feel a song comin' on!

"THE GRAND OLD LEAZES END!"---
"WE HAD TEN THOUSAND MEN!"
"WE MARCHED THEM UP TO JOKER PARK!"---
"AND TOOK THE FULWELL END!"

After the match we heeded back to Seaburn for the train and passed some allotments on the way doon a narrow lane.

A gadgie in a pair of wellies, who mindin' his own business, was lovingly tendin' his prized leaks in his greenhouse, when aall of a sudden a couple of hudred or so Leazes Boot Boys, who were packed tightly into the lane, broke his piece and desended on him. They started pullin' the wooden fences doon aroond his allotment to use as weapons against the mackems at Seaburn as the gadgie looked on horrified.

His greenhouse was soon reduced to a pile of broken glass as he cowered behind his leeks and cabbages as the mob went wild! 
To be perfectly honest I felt sorry for him as he obviously hadn't been to the match and probably hated football anyway! (if he didn't then—HE WOULD NOW!)

'The Dibble' were waitin' for us at Seaburn and hoyed us onto the train to avoid fortha clashes with the home fans.

The train back to The Toon was predictably wrecked again and after this visit the games were made aall ticket and we were 'banished' to 'The Joker End' forever more ! (neva to retorn to 'The Fulwell'!)

Footnote: At Blunderland's next home game the next day they attracted a crowd, some 33,000 less than the day before! They were relegated at the end of the season as well!

*Just to rub salt into wor wounds, six years later Toon born Tueart scored the winnin' 'bicycle kick'goal against us for Man City in the 1976 League Cup Final at Wembley as well!


PS: In my original match report which I got from the papers in The Central Library some years ago (of which I'v lost!) I just happened to gan to 'The Adelphi' pub for a quick 'gargel' afterwards and guess who was proppin' up the bar??? ---Non other than the derby hero and goalscorer, 'Jinky' Jimmy Smith!---I couldn't belive it and showed him the notes a'd just written to prove that aa wasn't makin' it up!---it was weird!


 
©Fink™ (the mad-sad grJundhJpper!)

www.geordietimes.blogspot.com

"LIFE BEGINS AT 40,000!"

Posted '12:57pm bells' Wednesday 23rd October 2013

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

Yet anothaa 'historic'? landmark haz been passed in the last day or so, az 'The Geordie Times' haz just receeeved it's FORTY THOOOSANDTH PAGEVIEW from owerseas (and the solar system beyond!)

Oot of the near 84,000 'hits' in total, we have nearly 43,800 from the old UK (England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales) and a total (at the time of writin'!) of  40,200 from the rest of world, of which ower a third iz from the USA alone!

With a grand total of 144 countries and territories (plus Mars!) 'The Geordie Times' iz indeed  'a global brand'!

Again! we thank each and every one of yoo for viewin' this daft site!

Owerseas countries with ower 1,000 pageviews

1 USA***13,996
2 Ukraine***4,200
3 China***2,200
4 Jawmany***1,700
5 Guinness Republic***1,070
6 Rushaa***1,060

THE TOON 2 THE LIVERBIRDS 2

Posted '12:30pm bells' Sunday 20th October 2013


THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END DURIN' THE 2nd HALF
(View from Level 7 Balcony)

Az there hadn't been a goal-less draw between the two side for aalmost 40 years iz waz predictable that there would be goals in this game az well!

Before the match an estimated 500 strong (weak?) protest march against 'The Fat Controller' took place from The City Haall to Leazes Park by disgruntled fans, sick of the comical goins on at the club! (We @ 'The Geordie Times' didn't take part az we felt it waz a complete waste of time!---IF we thought for 'one second' that we could get 'The Fat Controller' to sell the club by marchin' through the city centre then we would have joined in--pronto!)

Anyway!---we heeded for the tornstiles (after 'marchin' from 'The Companions Club' in Leazes Park Road!) in trepidation of wot might happen followin' wor six-nil defeat to the Scousers just six months ago @ St James'!

However!---a suprize waz in store for us az WE actually took the lead at the mid-point of the half---when!--oot of the blue!--- Yohan Cabaye hit a 30 yard screamer into the corner of the net @ 'The Leazes End', leavin' former SMB keeper Mingolet with 'nee chance' az he dived in vain to save it!

And then came 'the game changer' when Yanga grabbed Suarez by the shoulder and predicably the 'litte biter' went doon like 'a sack of taaties' in the penalty box to win the spot kick!
Yanga, bein' the last man waz subsequently sent off by ref Marriner and Gerrard stepped up to score hiz 100th goal for The Liverbirds to level the game just before the half time interval!

We expected the visitors to tear into us in the 2nd period but The Toon gave az good az they got and supersub Paul 'Dummy' Dummett put us back in the lead after a Yohan Cabaye free kick foond him at the far post unmarked and he gleefully excepted the chance to welly the baall into The Liverbirds net in the 56th minute!

The visitors then piled the pressure on and got back on level torms again when Suarez crossed for Sturridge to nod home in the 72nd minute!
We were then prayin' for the final whistle and had a scare deep into injury time when a Suarez free kick on the edge of the box waz superbleee saved by Tim Krul in The Toon goal!
A 2-2 draw waz a great result considerin' that we anly had 10 men for most of the match!

It waz then the lang 'march' back to 'The Companions' <(approx. 200 yards!) for some more (much needed!) 'liquid lubrication'!

Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Santon, Tiote, Williamson, Yanga, Gouffran, Cabaye (Anita 78, Ben Arfa (Sammy Ameobi 78), Sissoko (Dummett 44), Remy

Attendance: 51,703 (3,200 Mickey Mousers!) <(who let off flares and bangers!) (The crowd waz 600 short of capacity az NUFC refused to put tickets on general sale!--but waz still the highest of the season so far!)
Average Premyaa Leegue home attendance: 49,813***
Best in the north east, 3rd best in the UK and 13th best in the world!

THE TOON v THE LIVERBIRDS ***SATURDAY DINNAATIME!

Posted '1:24pm bells' Friday 18th October 2013

ACTION FROM THE TOON v THE LIVERBIRDS IN APRIL

Aftaa yet anothaa enforced break due to the World Cup qualifications we find worsels up against The Liverbirds just SIX months aftaa wor worst home defeat against them in livin' memory, when the Morseysiders put SIX past us with ne reply!

Fab Coloccini definitely winnit start for us az he haz a groin injury and we here that 'spiderman' (Gutierrez) haz went back yem to Argentina for personal reason and aalso wont feature in this live telly '12.45 bells' kick off.

The usual monotonous 'battlecry' of "We wont let you down this time!" "etc! etc!", from the players haz been splattered ower the local 'rags' and we can anly hope that THEY DONT THIS TIME!? 

Lets aalso hope the papers on Sunday and Monday arnt full of headlines from Toon players sayin' "We are sorry!" ---"We let you down!" "etc! etc!" yet again!

Toon fans are on the march tomorrow in protest at the runnin' of the club and it 'kicks off' at 10:30 bells' at 'The City Haall' and ends at the Leazes Park bandstand sometime later!
'The Geordie Times' wont be represented at the march, az quite frankly, we cannit see 'The Fat Controller' sellin' the club because of a few hundred fans marchin' through the city centre!---but we wish them well in their protest! (if we thought for 'one second' that he would sell up because of this, we would aall be there 'en mass'!)

A full match report will follow on Sunday sometime---lets hope it isn't a 'disaster report' like April's!?

"JUST THE TICKET!" ***"FIFTEEN QUID? ***WE'RE HAVIN' A LAFF!"

Posted '1:11pm bells' Thorsday 17th October 2013

THE VISITORS SECTION @ WBA LAST APRIL 
LAST SEASON £39---THIS SEASON £15!
***HORRAY FOR COMMON SENSE!

AT LAST!****some good news for travellin' supporters who are continueleee ripped off with high ticket prices!

'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom and 'The Toon' have agreed to let visitin' supporters into their groond for az little az FIFTEEN QUID when the two team clash home and away later this season!
This iz an adult savin' of £24 and shud be welcomed with open arms!

Swanzee have aalso agreed with us to reduce prices to TWENTY QUID when the two teams play in sooth Wales in December and the retorn @ St James' in April!

A BIG BLACK MARK ('X') however must gan to 'The Canary Custards' of Norwich who REFUSED to 'play ball' and we will be charged FORTY FIVE QUID! <(shame on yoo!) for wor midweek visit there in January! (Lets hope (and pray!) that Delia borns hor next custard crumble to cinders!)

INGERLAND 2 THE POLAR BEARS 0 !

Posted '1:55pm bells' Wednesday 16th October 2013

So England have qualified for the World Cup in Brazil next year and at least it gives us sommik to de durin' the close season az we gan 'England tellyhoppin'!

A'v nevaa been a big England fan but will be watchin' the games in somewhere like a Majorcan bar on a big screen next summer! (or wherever!?)

The cost of flights and digs in Rio iz said to top £7,000! az aa speak!---so mebeez it's just az well that aa just follow 'The Toon'!

'The Toon's next game iz of course on Saturday when we play 'The Liverbirds' and we can anly hope that they are not az 'lively' az they were last season when they hammered us 6-0 at St James'!
More to follow on this in the build up to the game in the next couple of days!

ENGLAND POLEAXED!

Posted '1:15pm bells' Tuesday 15th October 2013

"IZ THAT THE TYNE BRIDGE?"

We don't normally comment on England games, but the decision to give Poland 18,000 tickets for toneets match at Wembley in the vital World Cup qualifier iz utter madness!

Crowd safety concerns are given az the reason but with 18,000 plus Poles mixin' with 70,000 plus English, it iz surely a recipe for disaster in more ways than one!

I will be listenin' intentleee on mee truck radio toneet az aa travel doon to the Bormingham area once again, to see if we qualify!---or not az the case may be!  

JoeKanory*** THE CLOWN PR*CK OF SOCCER!

Posted '8:38pm bells' Sunday 13th October 2013

"YI COULDN'T MAKE IT UP!"

News reaches' The Geordie Times' aboot a bizarre event that took place @ St Andrews, Birmingham the othaa week, when wor 'Director of Fools' JoeKanory went to watch a Championship match.
Apparentleee, (we are told) he waz very impressed with a Birmingham defender and enquired aboot him to manager Lee Clark!

"Who's that young kid at the back who waz playin' for you today, we certainly would be interested in signin' him!", JoeK said to Lee after the game.
Clarkie torned roond in disbelief and replied: "Actually!---He's on loan to us from YOU!---His name is Shane Ferguson!"