The front page of today's 'Ronny Gill' sez it aall, consornin' the 'St James' mad-house' that haz engulfed us!
At last! Sir John Haall haz admitted that it waz a big (BIG!) mistake to sell the club to 'The Fat Controller'! (and not before time!)
This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers who follow the fortunes of the team aroond the world (and beyond!) The ground totals include competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games only, in the last SEVEN decades*** cheers!***'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 379 (380 inc Motspur Park outside)
Thursday, 20 June 2013
"WOT THE HELL IZ GANNIN' ON?"***"LIKE!!!???"
Posted '5:00pm bells' Thorsday 20th Joon 2013
The front page of today's 'Ronny Gill' sez it aall, consornin' the 'St James' mad-house' that haz engulfed us!
At last! Sir John Haall haz admitted that it waz a big (BIG!) mistake to sell the club to 'The Fat Controller'! (and not before time!)
The front page of today's 'Ronny Gill' sez it aall, consornin' the 'St James' mad-house' that haz engulfed us!
At last! Sir John Haall haz admitted that it waz a big (BIG!) mistake to sell the club to 'The Fat Controller'! (and not before time!)
NUFC PREMYAA LEEGUE FIXTURES 2013-2014
Posted '4:00pm bells' Thorsday 20th Joon 2013
Here are the Toon's fixtures for the comin' two months of the season. (aall of course subject to change for live telly!)
Az usual they are in 'Geordie Times Cryptic Code' to avoid copyright!
("GOD HELP US AALL!")
August 2013
Sat 17 The Blue Moonies, away '3 bells'
Sat 24 The Jellied Eels Mob, home '3 bells'
Sat 31 The Wacko Jacko Jivers, home '3 bells'
September 2013
Sat 14 The Hazbeens and Villians, away '3 bells'
Sat 21 The Broken Nose Bruce Brigade, home '3 bells'
Sat 28 The Toffee Noses, away '3 bells'
(More fixtures to follow when wa can be bothered!)
Here are the Toon's fixtures for the comin' two months of the season. (aall of course subject to change for live telly!)
Az usual they are in 'Geordie Times Cryptic Code' to avoid copyright!
("GOD HELP US AALL!")
August 2013
Sat 17 The Blue Moonies, away '3 bells'
Sat 24 The Jellied Eels Mob, home '3 bells'
Sat 31 The Wacko Jacko Jivers, home '3 bells'
September 2013
Sat 14 The Hazbeens and Villians, away '3 bells'
Sat 21 The Broken Nose Bruce Brigade, home '3 bells'
Sat 28 The Toffee Noses, away '3 bells'
(More fixtures to follow when wa can be bothered!)
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
LLAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER!
Posted '2:55pm bells' Wednesday 19th Joon 2013
The backlash of 'JoeK In Your Ears' appointment haz aalready started az Derek Llambazee<('JoeK's pronoonseeeation of hiz name!) haz resigned az NUFC MD with immediate effect!
He apparently phoned from hiz holiday home in Sandy Bay<(not!) to inform TFC< (The Fat Controller) of hiz decision!
Who will be next to leave 'The NUFC Mad-Hoose' we ask worsels, az wor close season 'rest' from 'it aall', just gans from farcical to sit-com?
"OH YES!"---The Premya Leegue fixtures have just come oot today az well!---Can't wait for wor forst game away to 'The Blue Moonies of Manchester'!---an eezy three points for 'Joek' and 'The Fat Controller'!<(NOT!)
A full fixture list in 'Geordie Times Cryptic Code'<(to avoid any copyright infringements!) to follow later!---MUCH later!
 |
| ^^^^^^^^^^^"WHO'S NEXT!???"^^^^^^ |
The backlash of 'JoeK In Your Ears' appointment haz aalready started az Derek Llambazee<('JoeK's pronoonseeeation of hiz name!) haz resigned az NUFC MD with immediate effect!
He apparently phoned from hiz holiday home in Sandy Bay<(not!) to inform TFC< (The Fat Controller) of hiz decision!
Who will be next to leave 'The NUFC Mad-Hoose' we ask worsels, az wor close season 'rest' from 'it aall', just gans from farcical to sit-com?
"OH YES!"---The Premya Leegue fixtures have just come oot today az well!---Can't wait for wor forst game away to 'The Blue Moonies of Manchester'!---an eezy three points for 'Joek' and 'The Fat Controller'!<(NOT!)
A full fixture list in 'Geordie Times Cryptic Code'<(to avoid any copyright infringements!) to follow later!---MUCH later!
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
"YOHAN!***YOHAN KEBABS!***EVERYONE KNOWS HIZ NAME!"
Updated '2:45pm bells' Tuesday 18th Joon 2013
Toon fans have inundated the 'local rag' with their negative reaction to 'JoeK in Your Ears' forst rant az 'NUFC Director of Futbaall'.
Such iz the outcry of hiz appointment that a total of TEN PAGES! of today's 'Ronny Gill' have been devoted to this story!
Ubeleeevebleee!---he's referred to Yohan Cabaye az Yohan KEBABS! and MD Derek Llambias az Derek LAMBAZEE!
This iz on top of the last time he waz here, when he caalled Charles N'Zombia, Charles INSOMNIA!
We at 'The Geordie Times' think that HE iz the one with IMSOMNIA and not Charles!***Don't YOO think!???
And god naaz how he will pronoonce Gael Bigirama's name!
"THE MIND BOGGLES!"
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| 'GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE'! ***JoeK's FORST SIGNIN'! |
Toon fans have inundated the 'local rag' with their negative reaction to 'JoeK in Your Ears' forst rant az 'NUFC Director of Futbaall'.
Such iz the outcry of hiz appointment that a total of TEN PAGES! of today's 'Ronny Gill' have been devoted to this story!
 |
| FRONT PAGE OF TODAY'S 'RONNY GILL'! |
Ubeleeevebleee!---he's referred to Yohan Cabaye az Yohan KEBABS! and MD Derek Llambias az Derek LAMBAZEE!
This iz on top of the last time he waz here, when he caalled Charles N'Zombia, Charles INSOMNIA!
 |
| BACK PAGE OF TODAY'S 'RONNY GILL'! |
We at 'The Geordie Times' think that HE iz the one with IMSOMNIA and not Charles!***Don't YOO think!???
And god naaz how he will pronoonce Gael Bigirama's name!
"THE MIND BOGGLES!"
Monday, 17 June 2013
THE TOON v SC BRAGA ****LATEST PRE SEASON FIXTURE NEWS 2013-2014
Posted '9:30pm bells' Monday 17th Joon 2013
At last!*** we have a HOME pre-season friendly game to tell yoo aboot!
Portugese side Sportin' Clube de Braga, who we played in 'The Algarve Tournament' at the beginnin' of last season, will provide the opposition @ St. James' Park on Saturday 10th August in a '6 bells' kick off ?
Just why this game iz kickin' off at that time on a Saturday iz anybodys guess and a lower attendance can be expected because of this!<(Saturday neet in 'The Toon' iz 'jumpin'!)
Two othaa games away in Portugal have aalso done the roonds, against Lisbon side, Estoril and Vitoria Setubal, which iz thorty miles forthaa sooth, but nothin' haz been conformed yet!
For the latest fixures of aall wor games planned pre-season so far***see below!
At last!*** we have a HOME pre-season friendly game to tell yoo aboot!
Portugese side Sportin' Clube de Braga, who we played in 'The Algarve Tournament' at the beginnin' of last season, will provide the opposition @ St. James' Park on Saturday 10th August in a '6 bells' kick off ?
Just why this game iz kickin' off at that time on a Saturday iz anybodys guess and a lower attendance can be expected because of this!<(Saturday neet in 'The Toon' iz 'jumpin'!)
Two othaa games away in Portugal have aalso done the roonds, against Lisbon side, Estoril and Vitoria Setubal, which iz thorty miles forthaa sooth, but nothin' haz been conformed yet!
For the latest fixures of aall wor games planned pre-season so far***see below!
"THE BAD DREAM IZ IN FACT A NIGHTMARE, FOLKS!"
Posted the day after 'April Fools Day' '2:30pm bells' Monday Joon 17th 2013!
After wakin' up at dinnertime today (after workin neetshift) the bad dream aa thought a'd had this mornin' aboot 'Joke in your Ears' appointment az 'Director of Futbaall' at 'The Toon' torned into a nightmare, az aa picked up the 'Daily Mail' from mee local paper shop!
Haz it reeely come to this??? wor 'then' new manager, who f*****' swore a total of 52 f*****' times at hiz inaugural Toon press conference<(the 'Mail' must have coonted them!) in wor 2008-2009 relegation season, iz now in charge of AALL! incomin' NUFC transfors for the next 3 years!<(the length of hiz contract!)
Just wot current manager 'I Beg Your Pardew' and 'Chief Scout' Graham Carr makes of aall this iz anybody's guess?
And az for incomin' transfors???--divvint haad yer breath for any household names to sign on the dotted line!<(unless their surname begins with the letter 'F'!)
To say that we @ 'The Geordie Times' are totally underwhelmed and exaspirated by it all, iz the understatement of the year!
The 'JoeKs' just get worse and worse!---don't they just???
 |
| "THE 'MAIL' SEZ IT AALL!" |
After wakin' up at dinnertime today (after workin neetshift) the bad dream aa thought a'd had this mornin' aboot 'Joke in your Ears' appointment az 'Director of Futbaall' at 'The Toon' torned into a nightmare, az aa picked up the 'Daily Mail' from mee local paper shop!
Haz it reeely come to this??? wor 'then' new manager, who f*****' swore a total of 52 f*****' times at hiz inaugural Toon press conference<(the 'Mail' must have coonted them!) in wor 2008-2009 relegation season, iz now in charge of AALL! incomin' NUFC transfors for the next 3 years!<(the length of hiz contract!)
Just wot current manager 'I Beg Your Pardew' and 'Chief Scout' Graham Carr makes of aall this iz anybody's guess?
And az for incomin' transfors???--divvint haad yer breath for any household names to sign on the dotted line!<(unless their surname begins with the letter 'F'!)
To say that we @ 'The Geordie Times' are totally underwhelmed and exaspirated by it all, iz the understatement of the year!
The 'JoeKs' just get worse and worse!---don't they just???
Sunday, 16 June 2013
"A JOKE IN YOUR EAR***IT'S JOE KINNEAR!"
Posted April Fools Day 2013!
"I DON'T 'ADAM & EVE' IT!"
Aa thought it waz a 'wind-up' when a mate caalled Adam text me to say that 'the above' had been appointed 'NUFC Director of Futbaall!
However! a quick check on nufc.com conformed that it WASN'T!
HELP! AA NEED A DRINK!"---QUICK!"
"I DON'T 'ADAM & EVE' IT!"
Aa thought it waz a 'wind-up' when a mate caalled Adam text me to say that 'the above' had been appointed 'NUFC Director of Futbaall!
However! a quick check on nufc.com conformed that it WASN'T!
HELP! AA NEED A DRINK!"---QUICK!"
2013-2014 PRE SEASON FIXTURES ***LATEST! ("HEEDBANGERS AWAY!") ***DATE & TIME CHANGE!
Updated 'high noon bells' Sunday 16th Joon 2013
The NUFC X1 fixture against Gatesheed which waz added to the 'list' of games for pre season haz now been moved a day forward to the Friday neet from the advertised Saturday.
We understand that this game iz C.I.S. (Cast In Stone!) and will now tek place @ Gatesheed International Stadium @ '7:30 bells' on Friday 2nd *August ("So divvint torn up on the Saturday afternoon, unless yi want to watch the grass grow!")
Admission will be ten poond for big kids, a fiver for zimmerframeites and just two quid for sprogs under 16 years old!
More planned games are imminent and will be posted 'forthwith', when we find oot the details!
For othaa fixture news, pleeeze scroll doon the page!
PS: I originally put that the 'Heed' game waz to be played on JULY 2nd.<(special thanx to 'eagle eyed' 'Mal the Inglish Skoool Teechaa' for pointin' oot my 'dillibrit missteak'!)
The NUFC X1 fixture against Gatesheed which waz added to the 'list' of games for pre season haz now been moved a day forward to the Friday neet from the advertised Saturday.
We understand that this game iz C.I.S. (Cast In Stone!) and will now tek place @ Gatesheed International Stadium @ '7:30 bells' on Friday 2nd *August ("So divvint torn up on the Saturday afternoon, unless yi want to watch the grass grow!")
Admission will be ten poond for big kids, a fiver for zimmerframeites and just two quid for sprogs under 16 years old!
More planned games are imminent and will be posted 'forthwith', when we find oot the details!
For othaa fixture news, pleeeze scroll doon the page!
PS: I originally put that the 'Heed' game waz to be played on JULY 2nd.<(special thanx to 'eagle eyed' 'Mal the Inglish Skoool Teechaa' for pointin' oot my 'dillibrit missteak'!)
Saturday, 15 June 2013
ST MIRREN FRIENDLY ***LATEST TEAM NEWS ***BIG GUNS SENSATION!
Updated '8:50pm bells' Saturday 15th Joon 2013
Followin' revelations in 'The Geordie Times' yesterday that we thought that 'The Toon' would send a mainly resorve side to Paisley, St Mirren fans who read wor story have inundated their clubs switchboard< (which haz since went into 'meltdoon'!), angry that wor forst team would not be appearin' at their groond on July 30th and threatenin' to boycott the game!
An anxious St Mirren official then contacted NUFC and we have agreed to send some of wor 'big guns' instead, to help boost the attendance!
 |
| 'The Ronny Gill'*last with the news! |
Followin' revelations in 'The Geordie Times' yesterday that we thought that 'The Toon' would send a mainly resorve side to Paisley, St Mirren fans who read wor story have inundated their clubs switchboard< (which haz since went into 'meltdoon'!), angry that wor forst team would not be appearin' at their groond on July 30th and threatenin' to boycott the game!
An anxious St Mirren official then contacted NUFC and we have agreed to send some of wor 'big guns' instead, to help boost the attendance!
Friday, 14 June 2013
ST MIRREN FRIENDLY*** LATEST TEAM NEWS!
Posted '2:40pm bells' Friday 14th Joon 2013
St Mirren have asked 'The Toon' to ratify just wot kind of 'team' we will be sendin' up to Paisley on Tuesday July 30th for wor friendly match there!
Their website says: "When the annoucement was made yesterday of the pre season 'match up' with Newcastle United, it was reported on the Premiership club's official website that the match would be part of the Magpies Under 21s pre season schedule, although it was also reported by them that a number of first team players would join the under 21 squad for the match in Paisley".
"Since then we have had several equiries asking for clarification on details for the match so we caught a quick word with St Mirren CEO, Brian Caldwell who said": "The arrangement with Newcastle United is that they will be sending a squad made up of first team players, reserves and under 21s".
"While we can't guarantee who will be appearing for the St James' Park side, I'm sure that we will get to see some familiar faces in the Newcastle ranks, over and above Conor Newton and Paul Dummett!"< (who were on loan from 'The Toon' to St Mirren last season)
"Tickets for the pre season match against Newcastle United go on sale from the St Mirren ticket office from Friday 14th June" <(toooday!)
A 'Geordie Times' message to aall St Mirren fans: "Yoo can 'guarantee' that we will be sendin' up a mainly Resorve/Under 21 team of 'unfamiliar faces'!"---"Och aye the nooo!"
For aall the latest pre season fixtures, see below!
St Mirren have asked 'The Toon' to ratify just wot kind of 'team' we will be sendin' up to Paisley on Tuesday July 30th for wor friendly match there!
Their website says: "When the annoucement was made yesterday of the pre season 'match up' with Newcastle United, it was reported on the Premiership club's official website that the match would be part of the Magpies Under 21s pre season schedule, although it was also reported by them that a number of first team players would join the under 21 squad for the match in Paisley".
"Since then we have had several equiries asking for clarification on details for the match so we caught a quick word with St Mirren CEO, Brian Caldwell who said": "The arrangement with Newcastle United is that they will be sending a squad made up of first team players, reserves and under 21s".
"While we can't guarantee who will be appearing for the St James' Park side, I'm sure that we will get to see some familiar faces in the Newcastle ranks, over and above Conor Newton and Paul Dummett!"< (who were on loan from 'The Toon' to St Mirren last season)
"Tickets for the pre season match against Newcastle United go on sale from the St Mirren ticket office from Friday 14th June" <(toooday!)
A 'Geordie Times' message to aall St Mirren fans: "Yoo can 'guarantee' that we will be sendin' up a mainly Resorve/Under 21 team of 'unfamiliar faces'!"---"Och aye the nooo!"
For aall the latest pre season fixtures, see below!
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