DELIA'Z CANARY CUSTARD CRUMBLES v THE TOON ****TOOODAY @ '3 BELLS'!

Updated '5:00am bells' Saturday 12th January 2013

In less than two hours time this mornin', we face wor thord lang train jorney in three weeks when we travel to 'Bornard Matthews Country' to take on 'Delia'z Boys' @ Carrow Road.

Both teams are strugglin' at the mo, and we can anly hope that we can break wor duck away from home this season on wot will be wor SEVENTEENTH attempt! in leegue, cup(s) and Europe!

We've been informed by wor 'secret NUFC undercover agent' that 'Captain Coloccini' will be in the line up, BUT! that this will be hiz last ever game for us and he will 'abandon ship' and gan back to hiz native Argentina after the match, NEVER to be seen in a black 'n' white Toon top again! (see article below!)

And az for the rest of wor startin' line up!?????---we'll probably NOT find oot til we get there, but new signin' Mathieu Debuchy shud be playin'! and (hopefully!) Demba Cisse will be back after missin' the 'Brighton & Hove Horror Show'!

We're on the 'five to seven bells' train to Peterborough and then onward to deepest Norfolk, arrivin' for just after openin' time!

Match/pub craal report az per usual to follow sometime on Sunday!  

GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!***ABANDON SHIP!***ABANDON SHIP!

Posted '9:30pm bells' Friday 11th January 2013

A 'Geordie Times' 'NUFC club insider' informs us that 'Captain Coloccini' will DEFINATELEEE play hiz LAST game for 'The Toon' against Norwich tomorrow afternoon!

He will then abandon the 'HMS Newcastle' forever and heed for Argentina after the game, NEVER to retorn!

REMEMBER!***
YOO READ THIS FORST IN***
'THE GEORDIE TIMES'!

CAPTAIN COLO TO ABANDON SHIP!???

Posted '10:00am bells' Friday 11th January 2013

"ME FIRST!---WOMAN AND CHILDREN LAST!"

Uncannily, it will be a year ago this weekend since  the sinkin' of 'The Costa Concordia' when the infamous 'Captain Coward Schettino'  abandoned ship forst and left the women and children to fend for themsels! after hiz ship hit rocks and sank off the Italian island of Giglio!

I say 'uncannily', az anotha 'captain' iz rumoured to want to 'abandon ship' az well, in the shape of  Fabricio Coloccini the captain of NUFC!

Although 'Fab' hazzent been playin' well lately, he iz wor captain and the backbone of wor fragile team and we desperatleee need him to 'stay on board'!---but don't bother holdin' your breath beneath the waves if it does happen!
"Blub! Blub! Blub!" 

BLACK AND WHITE ISSUE 12 ***OOT ON SATURDAY

Posted '10:10pm bells' Thorsday 10th January 2013

The latest edition of Mad Mick's 'Black and White Daft Fanzine' will be on the newsagents shelves this Saturday and features 'The Geordie Times' trip to Amsterdam when we played Sampdoria in 2007 @ St James' Park!---If that soonds a bit 'Irish' then can I respectfully request that yoo buy a copy forthwith to see wot the hell a'm on aboot!!

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS NEWS! ***"NANTWICH! NANTWICH! HERE WE COME!"

Posted '10:20am bells' Thorsday 10th January 2013

"APRIL FOOLS DAY DESTINATION!"

Az expected the Toons resorve U21s have been allocated the followin' fixtures for the 2nd group stage of their season after finishin' 6th oot of 7 durin' the 1st group stage.

Groundhoppers warnin'!***Dates/venues liable to change at short notice!

Mon 21st Jan '7 bells'***Bolton, away @ Leyland<(Been Here Before Got The T-Shirt!)

Mon 28th Jan '1pm bells'***Reading, home @ Whitley Park, Benton<(BHBGTTS!)

Fri 1st Feb '7 bells'***Norwich, away @ Carrow Road<(BHBGTTS!)

Fri 8th Feb '1:30pm bells'***Stoke, home @ Darsley Park <Behind closed doors!? < (BHBGTTS!)

Mon 25th Feb '7 bells'***Crystal Palace, away @ Selhurst Park<(BHBGTTS!)

Fri 8th Mar '1pm bells'***Man C, home @ Whitley Park

Mon 11th Mar '7 bells'***Bolton, home @ Whitley Park

Mon 18th Mar '1pm bells'***Reading, away @ Hogswood Trainin' Groond< Behind closed doors!? < never been here before, but arn't riskin' it, coz of wot happenned @ Motspur Park, Fulham  
(see '285 NOT' in the Archive Grounds list in top or side toolbars)

MON 1st APR '7 BELLS'***STOKE, AWAY @ THE WEAVER STADIUM, NANTWICH!<NEW GROOND!***NEW GROOND!

Mon 8th Apr '7 bells'***Norwich, home @ Whitley Park

Fri 12th Apr '2pm bells'***Man C, away @ Ewan Fields, Hyde<(BHBGTTS!)

Fri 19th Apr '7 bells'***Crystal Palace, home @ ST JAMES' PARK!<(Think? a'v been here before???) 

THE BAD BLUE BOYS v THE HEEDBANGERS ***TOONEET!

Posted '5:55pm bells' Wednesday 9th January 2013

With a blank midweek for the NUFC forst team we torn wor attention to sooth of the Tyne toneet where 'West' Gatesheed  meets 'East' Gatesheed in the shape of Dunston UTS (Bad Blue Boys!) and Gatesheed FC (Heedbangers!) for the battle for supremacy in a coonty cup match @ Federation Park (aka UTS Stadium) in Dunston!

Az both nicknames suggest, it shud be a rough old tussle on (and off!) the pitch!<(anly kiddin'!)
Kick off iz @ '7:30 bells' and the Dunston clubhoose will of course be open lang before the game for the consumption of broon ale and lager!

Update: '9:30pm bells' (Full time)
The Bad Blue Boys 1  The Heedbangers 4

Dunston, who play in the Northern League, held their own in the forst half against Conference side Gatesheed who are 4 levels higher in the Pyramid system!
The Heedbangers took the lead bang on half time and added a fortha two goals orly in the 2nd half to put the game beyond 'The Bad Blue Boys'.
A goal late on gave the home side hope, but the visitors added a 4th just before the 'death' to progress to the next stage of the coonty cup competition
Attendance: 350 (estimated) (50% each team)
Actual Attendance: 276 (we were 74 oot!)

FROM CATEGORY 'A' TO CATEGORY 'D'

Posted '1:55pm bells' Wednesday 9th January 2013

When we were trounced by 'The Arse' recently, the Toon fans were charged just £35:50 admission fee to get in @ 'The Emirates', which iz on par with wot Wigan fans get charged. (category 'D' prices we believe)
'The Arses' next game iz against League Champions Man City on Sunday and their fans are kickin' up a stink aboot bein' charged a woppin' £62! quid for the same seats! (category 'A'!)

It isn't so lang ago that WE were considered a category 'A' side alang side Man U, Chelski and 'The Liverbirds'! and it shows just how far we have faallin' doon the peckin' order!
We're NOT complainin' though! az sixty two quid to sit behind the corner flag iz a ridiculous amoont to pay!
Oot of the 2,000 tickets that 'City' have been allocated, anly just ower 1,000 have been sold, with the rest retorned to 'The Arse'!<(and who can blame them!?)
Fans ARE eventually startin' to vote with their feet/pockets!---where will it aall end???

PS: Hope this isn't an omen, but in the 1950's and 60s some north east villages were classed az 'category' 'D', which meant that they were 'condemed'! 

THE DOGGIES OF BEDLINGTON 3 v THE TOON RESORVES 2

Posted '10:30pm bells' Tuesday 8th January 2013


"IZ IT A LAMB?"---"WOOF!---WOOF!"

"LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER!?"

NUFC 'went to the dogs' again toneet, when we exited wor 2nd cup competition of the week, az the resorves lost 3-2 to 'The Doggies of Bedlington' in the qwaataa finals of the Northumberland Senior Cup @ The Dr Pitt Welfare Groond!

The Toons consolation goals were scored by Shane Ferguson and JJ Hooper in front of a crowd of 375---"WOOF! WOOF!"

UNITED STATES of GEORDIELAND! ***8,000 THANK YOOZ!

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 8th January 2013


"USA AALL THE WAY!*'THE GEORDIE TIMES'*RULES OK!"

Yesterday 'The Geordie Times' received it's EIGHT THOOSANDTH pageview from the USA and we again thank yoo aall for loggin' into this site!
Not anly that!--but we are aalso averagin' ower 700 'hits' per month from wor friends 'across the very big pond', which iz ower TWICE az many az last year!
The Ukraine, which we visit next month in 'The Europa Leegue' is currently averagin' ower 200 'hits' per month, obviously due to the great interest in wor game @ Metalist Karkiv!

Last month 'The Geordie Times' recorded ower 3,000 pageviews, averagin' oot @ ower 100 per day!---wor best ever monthly total so far!---'Keep the Faith'   


The aall time 'Top 10' countries to visit us, are az follows @ 'high noon bells' today!:

1 UK*****(England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, Wales)*****24,946
2 USA*****8,021
3 Ukraine*****1,135
4 Jawmany*****909
5 The Guinness Republic of Ireland*****901
6 Greece*****686
7 Rushaa*****631
8 Spain*****479
9 France*****346
=10 Nigeria*****280
=10 Holland*****280  

"I BEG YOUR PARDEW?"

Posted '9:30am bells' Tuesday 8th January 2013

"SOMEWHERE ON THE 'A47'
HEEDIN' TOWARDS NORWICH!"

The latest utterances of wor beleagered manager make worryin' reeedin'!---accordin' to him the young players he hoyed in at the deep end in wor woeful performance @ Brighton last Saturday did well enough to be considered for a place in the team @ Norwich this comin' Saturday!???

"I can't fault them for effort!", he reportedly said? and claimed he was pleased with the workrate of his young players? <(must have been watchin' a different game to us!--like!???)

This iz very disturbin' news indeed!, az 'not one of them' are anywhere near Premya Leegue standard and we will be on anotha 'hidin' to nothin' if nowt iz done soon to add to the Debuchy signin' and fortha strengthen wor squad, before 'the window' closes once again at the end of the month!

Honest!---we've got nowt against James Tavernier, 'The Lone Ranger', Sammy 'Ami' or 'Dummy' Dummett, but the reality IZ!----they're simply not 'up to it', Alan---mate!

SO!-tell 'The Fat Controller' to 'get hiz hand in hiz pocket' before it's tooo F*****' late! ("AGAIN!!!")