SPORS U21 RESORVES 6 THE TOON U21 RESORVES 0!

Updated '9:50pm bells' Saturday 3rd November 2012

Ground number 292
Date of First Visit: 3rd November 2012

Bulls Cross Training Complex
Enfield, London

Tottenham Hotspur U21s  6
Newcastle United U21s     0

FA Professional Development League

Attendance: 150 (estimated) (4 extremleee mad-sad Toonhoppers!)





THE TOON---IN MAROON!--
MAKE A RARE ATTACK ON THE SPORS GOAL
@ 'THE PRIVET HEDGE END'!

After droppin' off fellow 'mad-sad groundhopper' 'Liam of Westgate' ootside 'The Newcasil Laybaa Club', havin' just retorned from wor 600 mile roond trip 'sorte' to "norf Landan", it's time to write the latest 'disaster report' to add to the 'extremleee mad-sad list'!


"A RACE AGAINST TIME!"

We set off from Morrisons supermarket @ Killingworth (where Liam works the neetshift) @ 'twenty to seven am bells' this mornin' in mee 'canny tranny' for the 300 mile trip to Enfield, where Spors have their new trainin' complex.
With just ower fower hours to get there it waz aalways gannih be  a 'close caall' az to wetha we would make the start.

To cut a lang story short we had 'googled' a map to take us exactly to wor destination and on arrival in Enfield with 'ne time to spare' (az it waz dead on 'kick off' time) we tried frantically to find the complex which we thought waz next to 'The Rose & Crown' boozer (but WASN'T!?)

A desperate phone caall to 'The Bear' (who waz aaready at the complex) to ask him where the hell it waz then followed???

The complex waz in fact a mile away from where we were on a different road (he telt us!) and by the time we eventually arrived, we had missed the forst twenty minutes of the game! 

'Glennn from Ashington' who waz aalso another 'extreme saddo' who had made the 'pilgrimage' to the new groond telt us that 'The Toon' were aalready two-nil doon and that Spors had just scored their 2nd goal az we arrived! (at least we hadn't missed a TOON goal!)

We DID see the thord goal however!---scored by  a TOON player, namelee, Yven Moyo!---UNFORTUNATELEEEE it waz a heeded OWN GOAL into The Toon goal to put us three-nil doon orly in the 2nd half!
Spors forward, Pritchard, then curled a free kick high into wor net with 'not one' Toon player respondin', az they stood like statues az the baall flew past them!
To be fair not one of wor line up had ever had forst team expierience and it showed
(see crumpled team sheet below!)

A fortha two goals from Obika completed wor misery for a six-nil rout!

We then jumped back in wor 'canny tranny' and heeded the 300 miles back up the A1!

Anotha one off the 'disaster list'!

PS: The Toon U18s aalso lost to Spors U18s--by 4 goals to 1 on a pitch on the other side of the complex!

292 bulls cross training complex spurs reserves

(Ground number 292)

Date of First Visit: 3rd November 2012

Bulls Cross Training Complex, Enfield, London

Tottenham Hotspur Reserve U21s 6

Newcastle United Reserve U21s 0

FA Professional Development League

Attendance: 150 (estimated) (4 extremleee mad-sad Toonhoppers!)

THE TOON (IN MAROON) MAKE A RARE ATTACK
@ 'THE PRIVIT HEDGE END'

After droppin’ off fellow ‘mad-sad groundhopper ‘Liam of the Lamp’ outside the ‘Newcasel Laybaa Club’, havin’ just returned from wor 600 mile roond trip ‘sorte’ to “norf Landan”, it waz time to write the latest ‘Disaster Days instaalment’ to add to the extreeemleee ‘mad-sad list’!


“A RACE AGAINST TIME!”

We had set off from ‘Morrison’s Supermarket car park’ in Killingworth (where Liam waz workin’ the neetshift) @ ’twenty to seven am bells’ in mee ‘canny tranny’ for the 300 mile trip to Enfield, where Sporz have their new trainin’ complex.

With just fower hours to get there it waz always gannih be a ‘close caall’ az to wethaa we would make the ’11 bells’ start!?

To cut a lang story short we had ‘Googled’ a map to take us exactly to wor destination and on arrival in Enfield with ‘ne time to spare’ (az it waz dead on kick off time!) we tried frantically to find the complex which we thought waz next to a boozer called ‘The Rose and Crown’ (but it wasn’t!)

A desperate phone caall to ‘The Bear’ (who waz already at the complex) to ask him where the hell it waz, then followed!
The complex waz in fact a mile away from where we were on a different road (so he telt us!) and by the time we eventually foond it tucked in a little side road, we had missed the forst 20 minutes of the game!

‘Glennn from Ashington’ who waz aalso anothaa ‘extreeeme saddo’ who had made the ‘pilgrimage’ to the new groond, telt us that The Toon were aalready 2-0 doon and that Sporz had just scored their 2nd goal az we arrived! (at least we hadn’t missed any Toon goals!)

We DID see the thord goal, however!---scored by a TOON player, namely, Yven Moyo---UNFORTUNATELEEE it waz a heeded OWN GOAL to put us 3-0 doon orly in the 2nd half!

Sporz forward, Pritchard, then curled a free kick high into wor net, with ‘not one’ Toon player respondin’, az the baall flew past them!To be fair not one of wor line-up had ever had forst team experience and it showed!

A forthaa 2 goal from Sporz centre forward Obika, completed wor misery for a six-nil rout!We then jumped back in wor ‘canny tranny’ for the 300 mile journey back up the ‘A1’

Anothaa one off ‘The Disaster List’!

 PS: The Toon’s U18s aalso lost to Sporz U18s on a pitch at the far end of the complex which kicked off at the same time, by fower goals to one!
(NOT a good day for ‘The Toon’ in “norf Landan!”)

SPORS RESORVES v THE TOON RESORVES***SATURDAY MORNIN'!

Updated '5:00am bells' Saturday 3rd November 2012 

The next game (and new groond!) on the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' 'radar', iz 'The Toon resorves away game @ Spors @ their Enfield trainin' groond later this mornin' in just six hours time from now!---but will we get there for the start???

The kick off iz @ '11:00 am bells' and az one of 'the hoppers' doesn't finish hiz neetshift @ a Killingworth supermarket til '6:30 bells' this mornin', we will be 'pushin it' to say the least to get to Enfield in 'norf Landan' for the kick off! (the 'U18s' are aalso playin' at the complex at the same time on an ajacent pitch!)

Any major traffic delays anywhere will put 'a spanner in the works' and we may have to abandon the trip at any point of the jorney!
We estimate that even withoot any delays it will tek us fower hours at least to get there and of course we'll have to find the groond az well!

The game iz open to the public, so if any of  'The London Branch' iz readin' this, the poscode for the groond iz 'Hotspur Way' 'EN2 9AP'

Will we make it????---well!---yi'll just have to read 'The Geordie Times'  tooneet to find oot!---WON'T YI!

LATEST NUFC AWAY TICKET NEWS!***CLUB BRUGGE A SELLOOT!

Updated '3:30pm bells' Thorsday 1st November 2012

^^^^^ "MORE VALUABLE THAN GOLD DUST!" ^^^^^

Not suprizingleee the 900 extra Brugge tickets that were made available last week have been 'snapped up' for wor 'sorte' to Belgium in the Europa League next Thorsday, meeeenin' that we will have 2,600 'official places' in the away section, plus many! many! (MANY!) more in the home sections!
Dependin' on just who yoo believe, an estimite of between 6,000 and 17,000? Toon fans are plannin' to travel ower/under (& swim?) the English Channel next week!

Wor game against
'The Liverbirds' next> Sunday iz completleee selt oot!

 

Tickets for wor games @ Sooothampton (£35 big kids/£31zimmerframites /£16 sprogs) and 'The Pulis P*ss Potts' (£30/£21/£17&£14) are now on sale to season ticket holders who have 25 or more loyalty points
(ie: thoze of yoo who have attended 25 or more away games!)

IT'SSSSS OFFICIAL!**********

Posted '2:15pm bells' Thorsday 1st November 2012

The SMBs top goalscorer for October IZ!******
******DEMBA BA!******

October 6th v Man C:  No scorer
October 21st v The Toon: DEMBA BA (og)
October 27th v Stoke: No scorer
October 30th v Smoggies: No scorer  

 

THE HALLOWEEN DERBY MASSACRE!***ANNIVORSARY!***TOODAY!

Posted @ 'Halloween bells' Wednesday 31st October 2012

"FIVE-ONE!"*"TO THE GEORDIE BOYS!"

Today's the day that every Geordie shud celebrate wildleee! az ON THIS DAY! just two short years ago! we 'massacred the mackems' FIVE!-ONE! @ St James' Park, when 'King' Kevin Nolan got a hat-trick and Shola Ameobi added two more to hiz 'derby collection'!

Get the Halloween lanterns oot! and give the bairns a 'trick or treaty, sweety!' to celebrate one of the greatest days in wor lang and glorious history! 

"HARK NOW HEAR THE GEORDIES SING!"
"IT'S HALLOWEEN TONEET!"
"T'WAS NOLAN 'THREE'!!! AND SHOLA 'TWO'!!"
"A HAT-'TRICK' AND A 'TREAT'!!!!!"

THE TOON 2 THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 1

Updated '3:00pm bells' Monday 29th October 2012


BAGGIES FANS IN LEVEL 7---(TOP OF PICTURE)
"WATCH OOT BELOW!"

This waz another lack lustre performance from The Toon, but we won it with a fluke goal deep deep into stoppage time @ the end of the match when a Sammy Ameobi shot hit Cisse's back and the baall reboonded into the net leavin' 'The Baggie Troosers' keeper stranded az we celebrated a most unexpected victory!

It waz obvious from the word 'go' that this would be a dour match az we couldn't seem to string two passes together with the visitors pushin' us back at every instant.
Against the run of play Demba Ba opened the scorin' for us in the 35th minute when he struck a sweet volley into the net @ 'The Leazes End' from a Shola Ameobi heeded 'flick on' and just after this Tim Krul in the Toon goal made two ootstandin' saves to deny the visitors and we were very lucky to gan in one-nowt up at the interval!

The inevitable equaliser however came in the 55th minute when Lukaku, who had lost his marker, had the easy chance of heedin' home past Tim Krul!

It waz 'backs to the waall' after this and the away side pressed for the winner but they couldn't get past 'Timmy' again.

And then that fluke equaliser!!!--If I waz a WBA fan a'd have been caallin' 'The Samaritans', tearin' mee hair oot and hoyin' meesel ower the balcony of 'The Leazes End' at the final whistle!!!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson (Cisse 61), Williamson, Coloccini, Santon, Ben Arfa, Perch, Cabaye, Gutierrez, Shola Ameobi (Obertan 61), Ba (Sammy Ameobi 73)

Attendance: 49,731 (1,400 suicidal 'Baggie Troosers' in level 7 of 'The Leazes'!)
(we predicted a crowd of between 47,000 to 48,000 and that WBA would bring 1,500 fans!)---so we wornt TOOO far oot!

Footnote: After the match we heeded for 'The Newcastle Arms' for a bit of post match 'tonsil ticklin', where we bumped into two Baggies fans sportin' their home strip. They were husband and wife and she telt us that she used to support 'The Villa'!
"So why do yi support West Brom now?", we asked curiously!?"
"Because my ex husband supported Villa and my new husband supports Albion!"-----"Albion and Villa hate each other!", she replied!

THE TOON v THE BAGGIE TROOSERS ***TOOODAY!

Updated '9:35am bells' Sunday 28th October 2012

This afternoon @ '3 bells' we face 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Bromwich @ St James' Park and if yi thinkin' that this will be an easy three points for 'The Toon'---then think again!---az we have failed to beat them @ wor place in their last three attempts!

Wor prediction for the attendance iz that it will probably be aroond aboot the 47,000 to 48,000 mark and that the visitors will probably bring 1,500 or so. (we shall see!?)

Ne news of the team line ups yet but Cheick Tiote will of course be missin' after gettin' sent off @ the SOS last Sunday!

The ref for todays game iz Chris Foy and the last time he took charge of a Toon game waz in the revorse fixture last March when we won 3-1 @ The Hawthorns! (lets hope that this iz a lucky omen!?)
The game isn't live on 'normal telly', but bars like 'The Hotspur' and 'The Porcy', which are within hocklin' distance of the groond, are advertizin' that they are showin' it on their 'dodgy channels'!

'The Geordie Times' will of course have a full and compreeehensive match report for this game on Monday mornin'!

BAIRNS GAME ON!

Posted '10:45am bells' Saturday 27th October 2012


THIS IZ A PHOTO WE TOOK OF LITTLE BENTON!
(WHEY!---LAST! WINTER ACTUALLY!)

Despite the wintry conditions this mornin' ower Tyneside, where it haz been snowin' owerneet, The Toon U18s game against Sooothampton's equivelent gans aheed az planned @ Little Benton.

But if yi gannin' yi'd better hurry up!---az it kicks off in FIFTEEN! minutes time @ '11 bells'!

Updated '3:45pm bells'---The bairns lost 3-1 with wor goal comin' from Callum Roberts in the forst minute of the second half

Sunday update: CORRECTION!
Adam Armstrong actually got wor goal!
(blame 'nufc.com' for this horrendous misteak!)

44 YEARS AGO TODAY!

Posted '4:00pm bells' Friday 26th October 2012

44 years ago today aa went to mee forst 'lang distance' away game ootside the north east, when aa travelled to Liverpool to watch 'The Toon'!

Below iz mee archive report from that game
(IZ it reeely THAT! lang ago!?)