Saturday, 4 August 2012

DEN HAAG v THE TOON****TODAY IN HOLLAND!

Updated '5:20am bells' Saturday 4th August 2012

This afternoon @ '5:00 bells' ('4:00 bells' in Geordieland)  'The Toon' take on 'The Millwaall of Holland' in the shape of Den Haag in The Hague

Unfortunatleee there iz ne live telly for this game (az far az we naa!?)

Tickets are on sale from the 'away zone' @ Den Haag (entrance 22-24) priced @ 14 euros

We fly oot from Toon Airport in less than fower hours time to Amsterdam and are stoppin' 'on the hoy' aall day and aall neet, before flyin' back orly on Sunday mornin'! (who needs a hotel when yi can drink aall neet!?)

But be warned!----if yer gannin, divvint invade the pitch az it will cost yoo (deep breath!) a FIFTEEN THOOSAND EURO FINE!!!

Az per usual---match (and 'gargel'!) report to follow much later sometime on Sunday when we get back! ("watch this space!")

Wednesday, 1 August 2012

THE HEEDBANGERS 1 THE TOON RESORVES 4

Updated '11:00am bells Thorsday 2nd August 2012

Connor Newton (far post) heeds home
against 'The Heed' (in yellow) for The Toon's 3rd goal
("Er!"---sorry aboot the grainy image!)

A strong Toon X1 ran oot 4-1 winners @ Gatesheed Stadium last neet, but it wasn't aall plain sailin' for the 'black n whites' az 'The Heed' put up a good show in front of aroond aboot 1,000  spectators--half of them Toon fans.

The forst goal came in the 6th minute when Mehdi Abeid fired a brilliant effort home from 25 yards to give former Toon keeper Adam Bartlett ne chance az the baall hit the back of the net.

Then!--new boy Romain Amafitano<(hope a'v spelt that reet?) doubled wor lead in the 23rd minute when he poked the baall into the net from inside the Gatesheed box.

'The Heedbangers' then hit back when Micky Cummins hit a great volley past Elliot in 'The Toon' goal just 3 minutes later!
Half time---2-1 to The Toon.

More chances for 'The Heed' nearly levelled the score in the second period, but a corner by Marcus Maddison settled things in the 73rd minute, when his accurate cross foond Connor Newton's heed and he heeded it past 'The Heed' keeper to give us a 3-1 heed ("er!"--sorry!--that shud be 3-1 LEAD!)

Finalleee!---and just one minute later, Maddison lobbed a fantastic effort ower the home sides defence to put 'the black n whites' 4-1 up and that waz the final score, aalthough to be fair to 'The Heedbangers' a fower-one defeat waz a bit harsh on them!

Toon team: Elliot, Richardson, Dummett, Bigiriama, Tavernier, Good<(makin' his debut) (Riley 78), Amalfitano (Nicholson 46), Newton (Knight 78), Hooper (Maddison 46), Abeid (Henderson 83), Inman

Attendance: 1,274 (half 'Toon' and half 'Heed'!)

Chants of the day: "Gatesheed's a sh*t-hole, aa wonna go home!" (from Toon fans)
"Wot are you on aboot?---Half of you live in Gatesheed anyway!" (reply from Heed fans!) 




OLYMPIC GAMES FUTBAALL
***BRAZIL 3 NEW ZEALAND 1


Before this @ '2:30 bells' we took in some Olympic futbaall @ St James', where we saw Brazil beat New Zealand 3-0 in a very one sided game in front of a 'selloot' 24,500 crowd??? (St James'z capacity iz ower 52,000 (work that one oot!???)

Most of the crowd supported the Brazilians, but there were quite a few Geordies wearin' yellow Brazil tops and wavin' their flags (wots that aall aboot!???)




IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHIN' BRAZIL!

Posted '11:30am bells' Wednesday 1st August 2012
"BRAZIL ARE HERE THIS AFTERNOOON!"

This afternooon @ '2:30 bells' iz the forst part of a 'Geordie Times' double heeder of matches, when Brazil take on New Zealand in the Olympic futbaall @ St James' Park and then we're off on a two mile pub crawl across the Tyne Bridge to Gatesheed Stadium for the '7:30 bells' friendly match tooneet between Gatesheed and The Toon resorves!

New boys Romain Amalfitano and Gail Bigirimana will both play, while wor latest signin' Curtis Good iz in the squad

There were anly 3,000 tickets left for the Brazil game on Monday, so it's possible that it's a selloot!  

Admission to Gatesheed iz a tenner for grown up kids and a bit less for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

Match reports on both games to follow much later!

Monday, 30 July 2012

OLYMPIAKOS 1 (plus 4 pens) THE TOON 1 (plus 4 pens)****SPORTING BRAGA 1 THE TOON 2***TROPHY TRAIL SPECIAL REPORT!

Updated '9:00pm bells' Monday 30th July 2012
RYAN TAYLOR SCORES A SPECTACULAR WINNER
FROM 25 YARDS OOT  TO WIN
THE 'ALGARVE 'BROLLY' TROPHY' FOR 'THE TOON'

Forst of aall---apologeeez for no update since last Thorsday!
This iz because 'The Geordie Times onterage' waz at 'The Algarve Tournament' in Portugal and we've just got back---like!

Game one: Friday 27th July--Estadio Algarve,"ne where near" Faro, Portugal (ground number 288)

Olympiakos 1  The Toon 1 (Steven Taylor)

Penalty shoot out: 4-4!?(Vuckic, Amalfitano, Perch, Abeid) (no winners?,just like the neet before when Olyimpiakos drew with Braga on penalties az well in the forst game of the tournament!??) 

A non descript match against the appropriately named Olympiakos (az this waz the same neet az the openin' ceremony of the Olympic Games back in London!) (thank god we missed THAT!) ended aall square afta a penalty shoot out in front of barely 1,000 spectators in this 30,000 seater stadium in the middle of ne where! (eight miles from Faro where we were stayin'!)

Steven Taylor scored wor anly goal in open play when hiz deflected shot from the edge of the box beat Roy Carroll in the Greeks goal.

The anly otha 'highlight'? of the game came when Modesto waz 'red carded' in the 73rd minute for a bad tackle on Amalfitano and they were reduced to 10 men.
This seemed to fire them up however! and (inevitably!) just five minutes later Olymiakos equalised through Mitroglu who wellied home from the twenty yards oot!

A penalty shoot out waz then the order of the day (just when we wanted to gan for a 'gargel') and when Cisse stepped up to take wor forst one he inexplicably blasted hiz shot ower the bar into the 5,000 empty seats behind that goal!
However!--that waz wor anly 'miss' oot of the five and with Olypiakos aalso missin' one it ended fowers each and a stalemate! (the forst time av EVER! seen a draw in a penalty shoot out!)

My origional guess of a crowd of aroond 4,000 waz wildly ridiculed by the rest of the 'mad-saddos' who accused me of havin' tooo much to drink! (whey!--we had been drinkin' aall day---like!) and their estimate was less than a thoosand!

It waz then a hectic drive back to Faro in a taxi driven by a woman who thought she waz Lewis Hamilton az she took the hairpin bends at 90mph ('The Caped Crusader' reckons it waz 92.5mph!) and she went through at least fower traffic lights 'on red'!----but we did get back in Faro for 'midneet bells' in one piece for a few 'liquids' before heedin' back to the hotel Santa Maria for some kip----"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!"

Toon team: Krul, Santon, Williamson, Perch, Steven Taylor (Dummett 46), Bigiriama, Gosling (Abeid 46), Obertan (Sammy Ameobi 72), Vuckic, Shola Ameobi (Cisse 72), Amalfitano

Attendance: anything between 500 and 4,000! (take your pick!)  (400 Toon fans) (7 Olympiakos fans!)

Game two: Saturday 28th July--Estadio Algarve

Sporting Braga 1 The Toon 2 (Ba, Ryan Taylor)

Again it waz back to The Algarve 'in the middle of newhere' Stadium for the last game of the tournament and just like the forst game there were aboot the same number of spectators in the stands which included a least two from Blackborn Rovers!
Aalso---(just like the forst game!) the openin' 45 minutes waz 'one to forget' az the game petered oot in front of the 29,000 empty seats!

It livened up in the second half however when 'Marveaux the magician' waz upended in the box, resultin' in a spot kick in the 63rd minute, which Demba Ba took. But he put his shot to the right of their keeper who parried oot!---However!--The baall fell very nicely back to Ba and he sidefooted  into the back of the Braga net to put us in front.

The ineveritable equiliser came just 3 minute later when a shot from Amorim caught Coloccini's leg and the baall went past the stranded Steve Harper in The Toon goal! 

Then! just az though we were lookin' likeleee to have to endure a second game in a row 'penalty shoot out', up stepped wor 'ower the waall specialist' Ryan Taylor to send a free kick from 25 yards oot sailin' ("er!")'ower the waall' into the back of the net in the 73rd minute for a spectacular winnin' goal and send the 400 'sun-kissed saddos' wild with delight.

Another trophy waz in the cabinet (to add to the one we won in Deportivo a while back!) and Coloccini held it aloft for aall to see!
It actually looked like a large brolly, but waz in fact supposed to be modelled on a local bridge!?
"COLOCCINI HAADS 'THE BROLLY TROPHY' ALOFT!"



Toon team: Harper, Simpson, Ryan Taylor, Coloccini, Tavernier, Marveaux, Tiote (Cabaye 72), Gutierrez, Cisse, Ba (Vuckic 86), Sammy Ameobi (Obertan 88) 

Attendance: less than 1,000 (again, aboot 400 Toon fans---40 or so Braga fans and 2 Blackborn fans!)  



   

288 estadio algarve faro portugal


(Ground number 288)

Date of First Visit: 27th July 2012

Estadio Algarve, Faro, Portugal

Olympiakos  1 

Newcastle United 1 (Steven Taylor)

Drew 4-4 on penalties!?

Algarve Cup

Attendance: 500 to 4,000 (take your pick!) (400 Toon fans) (7 Olympiakos fans!)

 

“FAR(O)! FAR(O)! AWAY!”


"FOR HE'S A 'BROLLY' GOOD FELLOW!"

A non descript match against the ‘appropriately’ named Olymiakos <(az this waz the same neet az the openin’ ceremony of the Olympic Games in London!)<(thank god we missed that!) ended aall square afta a penalty shoot out in front of barely 1,000 spectators in this 30,000 capacity stadium which waz in the middle of ne where and EIGHT miles from Faro where we were stayin’ and where the ground waz 'supposed' to be! (It waz aalso used for European championships)


15 MINUTES BEFORE KICK OFF!
"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE!?"

Before the match at the tornstiles, aall bags were searched and the security gadgie on the gate tried to confiscate ‘Sarnie Steve’s Morrisons carrier bag full of sarnies and he waz forced to eat them ootside the ground before they would let him in!

It waz a sun drenched day and The Toon had a followin’ of aroond aboot 400, many of whom were holidaymakers who just happened to be in The Algarve for their summer break!

In complete contrast aa counted a total of SEVEN Olympiakos fans just alang from us!



Like aa say, the game waz non descript with Steven Taylor scorin’ wor anly goal in open play when hiz deflected shot from the edge of the box beat Roy Carrol in the Greeks goal

The anly otha ‘highlight’? of the game came when Modesto waz ‘red carded’ in the 73rd minute for a bad tackle on Amalfitano and they were reduced to ten men!

This seemed to fire them up however and (inevitably!) just five minutes later Olympiakos equalised through Mitroglu who wellied home from 20 yards oot!

A penalty shoot out waz then the order of the day (just when we wanted to gan for a ‘gargel’!) and when Cisse stepped up to take wor forst one, he inexplicably blasted hiz shot ower the bar into the 5,000 empty seats behind that goal!

However! That waz wor anly miss oot of five and with Olympiakos aalso missin’ one, it ended ‘fowers each’ and a stalemate! (the forst time a’v ever seen a draw in a penalty shoot out!?)

My original guess of a crowd of aroond 4,000 waz wildly ridiculed by the rest of the ‘mad-saddos’, who accused me of havin’ too much to drink! (Whey!---we had been drinkin’ aall day!---like!) and their estimate waz under a thoosand!

It waz then a hectic drive back to Faro in a taxi driven by a woman who thought she waz Lewis Hamilton az she took the hairpin bends at 90mph! (The ‘Caped Crusader’ reckons it waz 92.5!) and she went through at least fower traffic lights ‘on red’!---but we did get back to Faro for ‘midneet bells’ in ‘one piece’ for a few ‘liquids’, before heedin’ back to the Hotel Santa Maria for some much needed ‘kip’!  “ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!”

DAY TWO***Estadio Algarve!---again!
Dateline: 28th July 2012

Sporting Braga  1

Newcastle United  2 (Ba, Ryan Taylor)
 
Attendance: 500 (400 Toon fans) (40 or so Braga fans) (2 Blackborn fans?) (plus a few locals!)

 

“RYAN TAYLOR OWER THE WAALL!”

 

"RYAN TAYLOR GOAL!"


Again it waz back to The Algarve ‘in the middle of newhere stadium’ for the last game of the tournament, where ‘Sarnie Steve’ had made contingency plans and had hiz doorstep sarnie clutched firmly in hiz teeth az we got searched once again az we entered the stadium!< (“gottle of gear” style!)

The security gadgie just looked at him dumbfounded az Steve waalked past, (‘sarnie in gob style’!)

(On the mornin’ of the game aa suggested that he hid hiz sarnies under hiz beanie hat to get in, but! the carrier bag waz too big and he had to abandon this method of smugglin’ hiz scran in!)

Anyway!---Enough of that!---There were aboot the same number of spectators in the stands az the day before and included at least two from Blackborn Rovers!?

AND!---just like the forst game the previous day!) the openin’ 45 minutes waz ‘one to forget’ az well, az the half petered oot in front of the 29,000 empty seats!



It livened up in the 2nd half, however! When ‘Marveaux the Magician’ waz upended in the box, resultin’ in a spot kick in the 63rd minute, which Demba ba took. But he put hiz shot to the right of the keeper who parried the baall oot back to Ba’s feet and he sidefooted it into the back of the Braga net to put us in front!

The ‘inevitable’ equaliser came just 3 minutes later when a shot from Amorim caught Coloccini’s leg and the baall went past the stranded Steve Harper in The Toon goal!

Then! Just az though we were lookin’ likely to endure a penalty shoot out for the 2nd game and day in a row, up stepped wor ‘ower the waall’ specialist Ryan Taylor, to send hiz free kick from 25 yards oot (“er!”) ‘ower the waall’ into the back of the net in the 73rd minute to send the 400 ‘sun kissed saddos’ wild with delight!

Anothaa ‘cup’ waz in the cabinet? (to add to the one we won in Deportivo a while back!) and ‘Captain Coloccini’ held the glitterin’ trophy aloft for aall to see!

It actually looked like a very smaall umbrella, but waz in fact supposed to be ‘modelled’ on a local bridge! and so it waz ‘indeed’ a ‘brolly good’ show<(sic!) from the ‘black n whites’ az we heeded back to Faro centre to celebrate wor famous? victory!

  

  

Thursday, 26 July 2012

ALGARVE UPDATE!

Posted '9:45pm bells' Thorsday 26th July 2012

'The Geordie Times' entourage will be flyin' off to sunny Portugal tomorrow mornin' from 'Toon Airport' for the 'Algarve Tournament', where we will play Olympiakos of Greece on Friday neet and Braga of Portugal on Saturday neet in Faro

Match reports will follow on theeze games when we eventualleeee get back! (nuw where did aa put mee sun tan lotion---like???)

OLYMPIC FUTBAALL @ ST JAMES' PARK

Posted 10:00pm 'bells' Thorsday 26th July 2012
THE MILBURN STAND---OLYMPIC RINGS AND AALL!


The Olympic futbaall tournament @ St James Park iz now upon us, and today @ 2:30 bells the forst game took place between the men of Mexico and Sooth Korea (0-0 full time!)---Then @ 5:30 bells we had the 'mooth waaterin' prospect' of seein' Gabon play Switzerland! (1-1 full time!)
Tickets were (not suprizingleee!) still on sale at between twenty and fifty quid for grown up kids and 'pay your age' for the youngins!

Security to get in waz just like 'Toon Airport' and fans were advised to get there at least AN HOUR? before the match starts, IF! yi wanted to see the kick off! 
SWITZERLAND FANS IN 'THE STRAWBERRY'
AFTA THEIR MATCH WITH GABON!

Az aa waz in Glasgow for most of the day (work! NOT! the Olympic futbaall @ Hampden!) and didn't get back til  fower bells this afternoon---aa gave it 'a miss'---like!---BUT! still made 'The Straa'berry for this 'exclusive'  photo above!

 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' 'jet off' to 'The Algarve' orly tomorrow where The Toon are playin' the appropriately named OLYMPIAKOS of Greece on Friday neet in Faro and Braga on Saturday!

More to follow on aall this much! much! later!

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

LATEST RESULTS FROM THE RESORVES AND JUNIORS***BAIRNS MAKE FINAL!

Updated '10:10pm bells' Wednesday 25th July 2012
TOON UNDER 17s PUT ON 'A SHOW' HERE!

The resorves 'sneaked' another behind closed door friendly 'in', on Monday, when they beat Ashington 5-1 at Darsley Park, Benton.
The Toons goalscoreres were Brad Inman (2), JJ Hooper, Marcus Maddison and Micheal Richardson.

Meeenwhile!--ower in Northern Ireland 'The Toons U17s' put on 'a show' to beat Pachuca of Mexico 6-0 @ The Ballymena Showgrounds, with Adam Campbell gettin' two of wor goals.
Alex Gilliead, Ronaldo Aarons, Greg Olley and Ryan McKinnon aalso got on the scoresheet!

Then!---yesterday!--wor U17s beat CSKA Moscow 3-1 in front of a 300 crowd at Ballymoney, with wor goals comin' from Adam Campbell (2) and Liam Smith and we progressed to 'the semis' of the Milk Cup, where, toneet at the same venue we beat  "Ne Where Near Bolton", Wanderers U17s  2-0 to reach the Milk Cup final! Adam Campbell and Ronaldo Aaarons were again on target and we will meet Desportivo of Brazil!

The match takes place tomorrow neet in Ballymena and yoo can rest assured that 'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo the result az soon az we find oot! (az per usual watch this space!)  

Saturday, 21 July 2012

THE TOON 1 FENERBAHCE 1---'MAD-SAD TELLYHOPPERS' MATCH REPORT!

Posted '10:30pm bells' Saturday 21st July 2012
"MAD-SAD 'TELLYHOPPERS' RULE OK!"


'The Companions Club' on Leazes Park Road waz the location for 'The mad-sad tellyhoppers' this time ('The Porcy' for last game!) and aroond aboot thorty saddos were present az the game kicked off!


The crowd at the game which looked aroond aboot 2,000, waz made up mostly of Torkish immigrants and we couldn't see any Toon fans from wor vantage point near to the telly in the lounge!? (aalthough we knew that at least FOWER NUFC mad-saddos were there!) 


The forst half ended goaless with 'The Toon' havin' the better of the play but we were unable to break doon the Fenerbahce defence.
The second period waz much the same until the deadlock waz broken in the 76th minute by 'super-sub' Mehdi Abeid--and wor number 39 took hiz goal cooly by slottin' the baall home from inside the box and this looked like winnin the game for 'The Toon'---but! reet at 'the death in the 90th minute the Torks equalised through Baroni who's shot from the edge of the box 'shud' have been saved by Elliot in 'The Toon' goal (but wasn't!) and soon after the ref blew for full time!

Attendance: 2,000 estimated (plus at least 4 Toon fans!)
Companions Club attendance: 30 'mad-sad tellyhoppers' (plus the barman caalled Joe who watched the game in between pullin' pints for the thorsy customers!) so!--includin' him it's 31! 

Special mention must gan to the fower mentioned 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', who have been 'slumin it' in Jawmany/Austria for the last TEN DAYS, to de the three games on the tour!
Namelee! 'The Caped Crusader'---'Sarnie Steve'---'Glennn from Ashington' and 'Biffa the Bear'!
(the one from Whitley Bay--NOT! 'The Beano'!)

Biffa's 'pirate' Toon website www.nufc.com , even gave me an 'inevitable' mention in his match report for wor game against Chemnitzer, so it's anly fair that aa repay him the compliment!?
"WELCOME TO THE DIVES OF WHITLEY BAY!"

Friday, 20 July 2012

JOIN YOUR COMPANIONS IN 'THE COMPANIONS'!*** THE TOON v FENERBAHCE***LIVE!***THIS EVENIN'!

Updated '2:00pm bells' Saturday 21st July 2012

This evenin's friendly game against Fenerbahce of Torkey in Austria iz live on ESPN and 'The Companions Club' on Leazes Park Road, which iz within' eazy 'hocklin' distance' of St James' Park, behind the East Stand. (next road doon from St James' Street)
The club iz openin' especially to show the game @ 'six bells' ('6:30 bells' kick off)

Again!--very late confirmation of this game (when we were actually in Jawmany last week for the Chemnitzer game!) and financial considerations (ie: we contacted wor financial adviser---who telt us that we were skint!)--- Plus the fact that we're savin' up aall wor 'penneeez' in wor 'Geordie Times piggy bank' to gan to 'The Algarve Tournament' next week and Holland the week after!, meeenz that we reluctantlee will not be at the game 'live' (£500 retorn by air, last we hord!) (plus! 'doss hoose dosh' and 'booze budget'!)

But! 'The mad-sad tellyhoppers' will be in 'The Companions' in force! ("Er!"---aboot eight of us!) So why not join us for some 'tonsil ticklin' @ 'six bells' this evenin'?----aall welcome! (includin' Martians!)
"TAKE ME TO 'THE COMPANIONS'!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

PS: The match iz aalso been shown in 'The Three Bulls Knackers'---'The Porcy'---and 'The Union Rooms'! (az far az we naa!---like!)

'Mad-sad tellyhoppers' match report to follow later toneet! 


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