THE TOON RESORVES v THE SMB RESORVES---TOONEET! @ ST JAMES' PARK!<(and aalways will be!)

Posted '9:00am bells' Thorsday 8th March 2012

The Geordie Times entourage HQ!

For the second time in fower days and the fourth time within the last three weeks, we take on a SMB team tooneet in a Tyne/wear derby!

The forst two meetins were both at the mackems 'Acad-emy of---"Sshh!---yee naa wot!" trainin groond' where the 'Under 16s' won 3-0 and the 'Under 18s' drew 2-2---and of course the last encoonta was the forst team's 'high noon shootout' @ St James' Park<(and aalways will be!) where we drew 'ones each' last Sunday. 

This time it's the torn of the resorve teams of both clubs to 'fight to the death'!---but rather than the 52,000 plus crowd we got on Sunday, it will probably be nearer the 2,000 plus mark toneet @ '7 bells' @ St James'<(aawb!)

Season ticket holders and members will be admitted free and for aall othas it's £3 and £1 @ 'The East Stand' tornstiles

Az per usual at theeze games 'The Geordie Times entourage'<(havvent got a clue wot it meeenz?--but! it soonds good!) will meet in 'The Newcastle Arms' between 'five' and 'six bells'! (forst to the bar gets the drinks in!--- so aa'll be there LAST!)(work permittin'!)

MORE! FARCE!!!---MORE! POSSIBLE FIXTURE CHANGES!???

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 7th March 2012

Chelski's 2-0 win at Borming-ham in the FA Cup last neet meens that if they beat Leicester in the next roond, then wor game @ Stamford Bridge, scheduled for Saturday 14th April will have to be re-arranged, az the semi finals are that weekend (so divvint book your trains/flights yet!)

Wor final home game against Moneybags City haz been provisionaly moved from Saturday 5th to Sunday 6th May to avoid clashin' with the FA Cup final--BUT!---because of City's potential involvement in The Europa Cup final, it COULD be moved back to the Saturday!---Its a FARCE! 

BLACK & WHITE DAFT----ISSUE 8 OOT NOW!

Posted '9:30am bells' Wednesday 7th March 2012

ADVORTIZMENT!

The latest addition of 'Mad Mick's' 'Black and White Daft' fanzine iz nuw on the bookshelves of your local paper shop and 'The Back Page' in St Andrews Street, opposite 'The Newcastle Arms', which iz within easy 'hocklin distance' of St James' Park<(and aalways will be!)!
It's a canny read and one of the feature articles iz aboot wor 1974 FA Cup semi final against Bornley @ Hillsborough where 'The Geordie Times' haz 'penned' a story (gan to ground 030 in sidebar of this blog)
Priced at the price of a pint of John Smiths in 'The Arms' it aalso slags off the SMBs amongst othaz!

VILLA RESORVES 4 THE TOON RESORVES 0

Posted 'qwaata to midneet bells' Monday 5th March 2012

Facin' a strong Villa team with a team full of  mostly junior players and players who have been telt that they are to be released at the end of the season, it waz neva gannin to be an easy task and wor second string went doon 4-0 @ Villa Park toneet.

We were let off lightly though az Villa aalso hit the goalframe a total of SIX times! so the scoreline cud have been a lot worse!

Next up iz a resorve derby against the SMBs on thorsday neet @ St James' Park<(and aalways will be!) for the second meetin' with them on home soil in just five days!

THE TOON 1 THE SMBs 1-----HIGH NOON SHOOTOUT!

Updated '10:50 am bells' Monday 5th March 2012

"SEVEN HEAVEN FOR INJURY TIME TORMENTOR!"

"THIRSTY FANS QUEUE FOR A DRINK
IN THE POURIN' RAIN!"
"IT'S QWAATA TO TEN ON A SUNDAY MORNIN'!!!"

A dramatic goal from 'life saver' Shola Ameobi deep into injury time at the end of the match saved face for The Toon and sent the 2,650 SMBs in Level 7 of The Leazes End home to that dark place 'winless' yet again.
Wor '100 Pub Crawl Challenge' started off in 'Sinners' @ 10 bells as the bars in 'The Gate' werent yet open!

We had to wait in a smaall queue for it to open, az it 'p*ssed doon'!,while next door @ 'Sam Jacks' the queues stretched up the road towards 'The Gate' at 'qwaata to ten' az Toon fans waited anxiously for it to open! 

When 'The Gate' finally opened, we 'did' 'Players Bar' and 'Mood' before heedin' for 'The Newcastle Arms' for the final pre match 'gargels'!

THE BIG KICK OFF!
We didn't start off well, but within the forst thorty seconds the SMBs made their intentions known when  Cattamole 'scythed doon' Cheik Tiote in front of the dugoots in wot waz surely an automatic sendin' off for the mackem captain.----But NO!---Mike Dean the ref 'bottled it' and gave him a 'yellow' instead, much to the annoyance of Toon manager 'I Beg Your Pardew' who was just yards from the incident.
This set the tone for the rest of the match as the away side tried to kick seven lumps of sh*te oot of the Toon players!

We then gave away a needless penalty at mid point of the half when Mike Williamson tugged a mackem player shirt in the box and the ref pointed straight to the spot!
The spot kick waz convorted by Bendtner to give them a rare lead against us.

We came close to an equaliser just before the break when Demba 'Ba' heeded against the 'bar' @ The Leazes End, but his effort boonced oot and we went in 1-0 doon at the break.

A different Newcasel came oot for the second half and we laid siege to The Gallowgate goal but couldn't find the equaliser.

The tornin' point of the game came in the 58th minute when Sessegnon elbowed Tiote and he waz given a straight 'red' by Dean to reduce the SMBs to 10 men.
The siege continued on The Gallowgate goal and from this point the mackems hardly got oot of their half.

Shola Ameobi was then brought into the 'fray' when he came on for Cisse in the 72nd minute much to the dread of the visitin' fans. (he's scored quite a few goals against them!)

They were quite right of course az just 10 minutes later in the 82nd minute he was brought doon in the box and again the ref pointed straight to the spot.

Demba Ba took it but his shot was parried away by the mackem keeper and aall hope of avoidin' defeat looked lost!

HOWEVER!---deep into injury time with the SMB hoards whistlin' frantically for the final whistle, Mike Williamson made up for hiz penalty 'gaff' and back heeded the baall to SHOLA (who else!) and he tapped the baall into the net for hiz SEVENTH goal against the mackems, to send 50,000 Geordies wild with delight!

"GOAL!"---"SEVEN HEAVEN FOR SHOLA!"

We even had time for a winner, but Williamson scuffed a shot which went for a corner from the six yard box and soon after this the ref blew for full time!

Aaltogether 9 players were booked to add to the sendin' off and there was a fracas between Moanin' Martin and 'I Beg Your Pardew' on the final whistle, then Cattamole finally got 'his just desserts' and was sent off for abusin' the ref  after the final whistle!

"WHY DON'T YOU F*** OFF BACK TO THE DARK PLACE!?"

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Santon (Ben Arfa 46), Ryan Taylor (Lovenkrands 88), Cabaye, Tiote, Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Shola Ameobi the life saver 72!) 

Attendance:52,388 (2,650 SMBs) (this was the highest attendance @ St James' Park <(and aalways will be!) for 36 years!)  

It was then off to complete wor 'pub crawl' for the day and we were in celebratory mood az we left the groond, even though we hadn' t won it!

"THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE ---IZ!---DIVVINT LOSE TO THE SMBs!"

FA VASE DRAW---DUNSTON v STAVELEY IN THE SEMI FINALS FOR A PLACE @ WEMBLEY!

Posted 1:45pm bells' Monday 5th March 2012

FEDERATION PARK---DUNSTON

Northern League side Dunston UTS (The Bad Blue Boys!) have been drawn @ home to Staveley in the forst leg of the semi finals of The FA Vase on Saturday 25th March and then away in the 2nd leg on Saturday 31st March.
The Toon arnt playin' on March 25th (we play WBA away the next day) so it would be great if a few Toon fans cud come alang and cheer 'The Bad Blue Boys' on their way to Wembley!

West Auckland, meanwhile have been drawn away to Herne Bay in the forst leg and then at home the followin' week, which means the possibility of TWO Northern league clubs in the Wembley final in May!

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IZ! *******WE DIDN'T GET BEAT!****THE TOON 1 THE SMBs 1

Posted '6:50pm bells' Sunday 4th March 2012

At the end of the day the most important thing in life iz!******* not to lose to the SMBs!

Match report to follow on Monday mornin' when aa finally sober up!

THE TOON v THE SMBs----HIGH NOON!---DERBY DAY IZ HERE AT LAST!

Posted '8:00am bells' Sunday 4th March 2012

"THE BIG PICTURE FOR THE BIG DAY!"

Derby day iz apon us once again and in just fower hours time we kick off against the SMBs in the high noon shootout @ St James' Park< (and aalways will be!)


'THE STRAWBERRY' CREST
IN THE SHADOWS OF
THE GALLOWGATE END

Because of the 'high noon bells' kick off time 'The Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Challenge' will anly have time to de one new bar before the match, namly 'The Players Bar' in 'The Gate' which opens @ '10 bells'
There are othat boozers open orlier, namely The Strawberry @ 9:00 bells' and others we cannot mention coz they opened at '6 am bells' for unscheduled lock-ins!

The Pub Crawl will continue afta the match aroond the Greys Monument area>>>>>>>>>>>>

Match report to follow much! much! later than usual! 

A STAR IZ REBORN!

Posted '9:00pm bells' Saturday 3rd March 2012

Aa waz waalkin' doon Westgate Road puttin' 'the feelers oot' for any new drinkin dens that a'd missed on mee travels for 'The Geordie Times 100 Pub Crawl Challenge'---when!----lights hit me from the direction of the aa'd 'Star Bar', which haz been shut for aall of this season, and guess wot???---the doors were open--so!--- (az yi de!) aa went in for a quick 'gargel' and to find oot the latest 'crack'!

The barman telt iz that it had just reopened yesterday and that it waz open @ '11 bells' Sunday for the pre match 'derby' drinks!

Now 'The Star', yoo see!--- waz one of mee fave 'haunts' in the 1970s when fans wud celebrate a home win by dancin' on the bar coonta and tables, much to the indifference of 'Robbie' the manager! (who sadly iz ne langer with us!)

A 'class' bar back then and aa have to say that it's great to see it 'back on the circuit'!

We'll give it 'a miss' for now, but we will come back when we near the 'moontain peak' of 100 'waaterin holes', before crossin' it 'off the list'!

"WOR JACKIE'S GANNIN YEM!"

Posted '1:30pm bells' Saturday 3rd March 2012

"HORRAY!---A'M GANNIN YEM AT LAST!"

News that the Jackie Milburn statue, currently on St James' Boulevard, is finally 'comin' home' iz great news for aall Toon fans!

Originally positioned in Northumberland Street for some puzzlin' reason? (he neva played there az far as we're aware?) and then moved to it's present site some time ago, when Blenheim Street became St James' Boulevard, it iz now to be placed ootside 'The Gallowgate End', opposite 'The Strawberry'

'The Gallowgate End' was Wor Jackie's favourite end of the groond, so it's anly fittin' that he shud finally end up there!