MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS NEWS ----------BARNSLEY U18's 1 v THE TOON U18's 1

Updated '2:30 bells' Saturday 8th October 2011

Because 
it's an 'inter-national weekend' once more, there are ne forst team fixtures, 
however! the juniors dd take on Barnsley away @ 'high noon bells' today and drew  one's a piece with wor goal comin' from Campbell with a fine strike orly in the 2nd half to level things after 'The Tykes' had taken the lead in the forst half. 

The great news for any 'new' NUFC groundhoppers who fancied gannin was that the game was played @ Barnsley's Oakwell groond and NOT the trainin' pitch next door which is the usual venue for Barnsley junior games.
Admission was FREE!

TOP 'O' THE WORLD!---16,000 TIMES!

Posted '5:15 pm bells Friday 7th October 2011

The Geordie Times online haz nuw passed the sixteen thoosand hits mark and haz been viewed in ne fewer than 112 countries aroond the world (plus Mars!)

Hello! Ghana!---Hello! Gibralter!---Hello! Trinidad & Tobago!---Hello! The Sultan of Brunei!  Many thanx to aall wor reeeders!

THE SKYS THE LIMIT--NEW TV GAMES ANNOONCED

Posted '1:20 pm bells' Friday 7th October 2011

The followin' three games have been moved for live TV coverage---aall games on 'SKY'

SAT 3rd December 2011---Chelsea---home @ 12:45 bells

FRI 30th December 2011---Liverpool---away @ 7:45 bells'

Wed 4th January 2012---Man U---home @ 8:00 bells

NE WHERE NEAR BOLTON,WANDERERS RESORVES 0 THE TOON RESORVES 3

Posted '12:30 pm bells' Wednesday 5th October 2011

Last neet, the resorves took on Bolton resorves at the Lanca-shire FA HQ in Leyland @ '7 bells' and ran oot 3-0 winners!
The Toon opened the scorin' in the 24th minute with a fine lob from Sammi Ameobi which beat the home keeper.
We doubled wor lead in the 59th minute when Silvain Marveaux hit a sweet left footer into the net and finally he roonded it off with another effort eight minutes later from close range.

The Geordie Times mad-sad groundhoppers have been here before, so we didn't gan, like! (we're just part time supporters yi naa!)

Attendance: divvint naa yet, but there would'iv been a few dozen Toon 'saddos' there to represent us!

BENT NOSE McCARTHY WANDERERS 1 ***********THE TOON 2

Posted '10:00 am bells' Sunday 2nd September 2011

Another 'jinx' ended at last as we recorded wor forst top flight win @ Molineux for 53 years!, aalthough we were a bit fortunate to get the three points to take us up to THORD place and an automatic Champions League qualification place! (Er!---for the time bein' at least!)

Before the match we heeded for 'The Great Western' drinkin' den near the train station for a few 'tonsil ticklers' and then onwards to Molineux

Demba Ba opened the scorin' for us in the 17th minute when a corner kick @ *'The Buildin' Site End' opposite us, from Yohan Cabaye, foond Demba's heed and he nodded in from close range.
(*Wolves are currently rebuildin' The North Bank Stand)

GUTIERREZ---"BRILLIANT 2nd GOAL!"

Wor lead was then doubled less than 10 minutes later, when a fantastic jinky run by 'Spiderman', (who went past three Wolves players!), foond the far corner of the net with a precision shot past the disparin' Wolves keeper from the edge of the box, to send the twelve hundred Toon fans wild with delight!

We dominated for lang periods and were well on top for the forst half hour, but Wolves did have their moments. 
Tim Krul in The Toon goal had a blinder, and he kept 'the Wolves from the door' with several fine saves late on in the forst half as the home side fought back.

The home side then appealed for a penalty which was reet in front of me and at forst aa thought that the refs decision to give them a free kick instead on the edge of the box was the correct one, but on seein' replays on 'Match of the Day' aa have to concede that both me and the ref were wrang and a spot kick shud'iv been awarded!

'Bent Nose McCarthy's Boys' came oot with aall guns blazin' in the second half, but again Tim Krul denied them with some more brilliant saves, but their pressure finally paid off in the 88 minute with a scrambled goal from Fletcher.

A Wolves goal was then ruled oot by the linesman near the 'death' and to be honest we couldn't see from where we were at the far end of the pitch, just why it had been disallowed ('Match of the Day' again showed that the goal shud have stood!)

'Bent Nose McCarthy' was NOT a 'happy bunny' az he stood in the technical area, fumin'! 

"I CAN'T BEND IT ANY FURTHER!"

We hung on to tek the points, but it was wor lucky day, make no mistake aboot that!  

Attendance: 26,561 (1,200 Toon fans)

PS: A'm miles behind with some 'stuff', like the Swansea resorve groundhoppers report and the 100 pub crawl challenge marathon, but hopefully aa'll get them online in the next few days!

BENT NOSE McCARTHY WANDERERS v THE TOON

Updated '6:50 am bells' Saturday 1st October 2011

The Toon hope to extend wor unbeaten start to the season to seven games in the Premya Leegue against 'Bent Nose McCarthy Wanderers' @ Molineux this afternoon @ '3:00 bells'

We havvent won a top flight game there since September 1958---and just in case you're wonderin'???--- NO!--aa wasn't there! (a'm not THAT f*****' old!) and so it's time to end that 'jinx' az well, (just like wor last home win against 'jinx' club Blackburn)

'The Geordie Times' mad-sad groundhoppers set off at '7:30 bells' and we hope to get to Wolves for openin' time!

We have been allocated just 1,200 tickets behind the goal in the 'South Bank' end (Jack Harris Stand) as buildin' work behind the 'North Bank' goal (Stan Cullis Stand) is currently in progress, reducin' the capacity to aroond aboot 25,000 for the time bein'.

As ever!---match report to follow later on!

GROUND 282---SWANSEA RESORVES 3 THE TOON RESORVES 5!

Posted '9:00 am bells' Thorsday 29th September 2011

A fantastic see-saw game saw The Toon's second string, who were playin' in their 'Orangemen' strip, run oot 5-3 winners @ Parc Y Scarlets in Llanelli, sooth Wales. (a 750 mile (plus!) roond trip for us!)

At one stage we we 3-0 up in the forst half, but 'The Swans' came back to level it 3-3 very orly in the 2nd period, but we hit back again and eventually ran oot 5-3 winners!

Wor goals were scored by FIVE different players, namely, Richardson (10), Ferguson (14), Gosling (21), Ranger (47-pen) and finally Gregg McDermott (50)
Attendance 692 (includin' 30 or so Toon fans)

Full 'mad-sad groundhoppers' report to follow when aa get time!

GROUNDHOPPERS SWAN SONG!****SWANSEA RESORVES v THE TOON RESORVES

Posted '9:00 am bells' Wednesday 28th September 2011

FERRYBRIDGE POWER STATION----THE CLOUD FACTORY!

"STOP PRESS!---STOP PRESS!---ANOTHA NEW GROOND!---ANOTHA NEW GROOND!"

News that wor resorve game against Swansea @ '7 bells' toneet is DEFIANTLY bein' played @ the oddly named 'Parc Y Scarlets' in Llanelli, has now been conformed, meanin' that we'll visit wor 2nd new resorve groond in eight days, followin' wor visit to Chesterfield last Tuesday!

However!---it was not beyond the realms of possibility that it could have been moved to Swansea's *'Liberty Stadium' at the last minute. (It HAS happened to us before!) (*Been there!---got the 'T' shirt!)
Fingers (and toes!) crossed that it won't be moved for whatever reason and we'll be settin' off @ '10:30 bells' in the 'Batmobile' for a 'new' Sooth Wales groond (That's 'Wales' and not 'Australia'!)

We intend to take the 'scenic route' for this one, via Wetherby Racecourse, the cloud factory @ Ferrybridge Power Station and Trowell Sorvices on the 'M1' before heedin' into deepest Wales on the 'M4' past the *old pit slag heeps to Llanelli!---   (*That's if there's any left?) a roond trip of ower 700 miles!
If this DOSN'T prove we are sad b*****ds, then nothin' will!

Match report to follow much! much! later! coz we won't be back till three or four in the mornin'!

(Chesterfield report below)

PS: The 100 Pub Crawl Challenge report for the Blackburn game to follow later in the week!

281 b2 net stadium chesterfield

(GROUND NUMBER 281)

Date of First Visit: 20^th SEPTEMBER 2011

B2 NET STADIUM, CHESTERFIELD


 
CHESTERFIELD RESERVES 1

NEWCASTLE UNITED RESERVES 1 (Yven Moyo)


 
FRIENDLY FIXTURE

ATTENDANCE: 220 (50 or so Toon fans) (My estimate!---some are less)

('Dave from York's iz: 197/48!)


 
"GROUNDHOPPERS UTOPIA!"

'DAVE FROM YORK'S' 'INDEPENDENT' TEAM SHEET!




 
On this day The Toon had TWO GAMES in the space of SIX HOURS!----when, forst, the resorves played Chesterfield on their new ground @ '1:00 bells' in the afternoon and then we had the League Cup tie against Forest @ '7:45 bells' @ The City Groond, Nottingham which was wor second game of the day! (been here before of course!)

The Geordie Times groundhoppers divvint normally de two groonds in a day but there ARE exceptions to the rules when a new ground iz involved! ----"YYAAAHHHOOO!"


 
The itinareee for the day was az follows!

Catch the 8:43 bells train to Chesterfield arriving @11:05 bells'

Have a few 'gargels'

Watch the match @ 1:00 bells, then catch the forst available train to Nottingham

Have a few 'gargels'

Watch the match @ 7:45 bells, then retorn yem by cadgin' a lift in 'The Caped Crusaders' 'Batmobile', arrivin' back on Tyneside in the orly hours

After a few hours kip---"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!" get up for graft and drive to West Brom @ 8:30 bells!

(Aall in a days work for 'The Geordie Times groundhoppers')


 
"TRAIN 'TOOL-SHED' TRAUMA!"

Az 'The Geordie Times' entourage left 'The Central' and crossed the sacred river, aa cracked open the forst can of 'golden liquid' az iz 'tradition' on any train jorney south to watch The Toon (The 'entourage' comprisin' of me and---er!---ME!)

By the time we'd (I'd!) reached Wakefield aa waz on mee last 'can' and opened it just az we passed the floodlights of Wakefield Trinity Wildcats Rugby League groond---and just in case you're wonderin'???---YES!---'The Geordie Times' has been here az well!---to watch wor resorves against Leeds resorves a few years back!


 
Anyway!---by the time we (I!) got to Sheffield aa was in desperate need of the 'tool-shed', so when the train got to within ten minutes of Chesterfield (which had been delayed coz some tossers had nicked some cable near Leeds and some sprogs had got onto the tracks!) aa heeded for the nearest 'tool-shed'. On the 'Cross Country service' they have half roond doors where yi have to press 'open' and 'close' to get in and oot.

The door was open so aa pressed the 'close' button but nowt happened!? Az aa was 'desperate' for a 'gypsies kiss' aa grabbed the door and forced it shut. When aa went to get oot aa pressed the 'open' button---but horror upon horror the door wouldn't open!

Panickin' by this time az we nearly at Chesterfield aa managed to prize it open slightly and get mee fingers in the small gap!---but it still wouldn't budge!----Aa then had 'visions' of bein' locked in the bog aall the way to Plymouth!---it's final destination!---and miss BOTH GAMES!---(god forbid!)


 
THEN!---aall of a sudden and by pure coincidence the ticket inspector just happened to be passin' and seein' mee fingers jammed in the door and hearin' iz bangin' mee fist frantically!, he opened it with a special key and aa was 'free again'!, just az we pulled into Chesterfield station!

"Thanx mate!", aa said sheepishleee az aa grabbed mee 'nanny goat' and dived off the train!

There's one thing for certain---aa thought---aall never (ever!) try to force a 'tool-shed' door shut on a train again! (a'v definateleee lornt mee lesson this time!)


 
"NAMED AND SHAMED!"

Afta aall the 'trauma' aa needed a drink and heeded up the hill from the station where aa could see a boozer in the distance ower bridge which spanned a dual carriageway. Worryingly, there were ne lights on and when aa tried the door it was locked! (just like the bog door on the train!)

A disgraceful state of affairs!

It was 20 past 11 by this time and The Geordie Times meks ne apology for namin' and shamin' the boozer which was caalled 'BAR ENVY'!


However!—there WAS 'light at the end of the tunnel' (or in this case: 'light in the bar'!) az the next boozer at the top of the hill caalled 'Martha's Vineyard' WAS OPEN and az a 'bonus' it was happy hour az well and at £1.49 a pint aa wasn't gannin anywhere else!

SANCTUARY!

'Dave from York' and 'Alex of St George' were on the next train and so a quick 'tellin' bone' caall later, they joined me in 'Marthas'before we heeded to the match.

The B2 Net Stadium iz aboot a 20 minute waalk from the train station and aa have to say that aa was very impressed with their new ground and FREE admission! (wot more cud yi want?)

On arrival we made for the main entrance to see if they had printed any team sheets for the game. A lassie telt us they hadn't, so Dave suggested 'tongue in cheek'that if WE could find the NUFC line up---would they print some off for wor collections!?


 
She took Dave seriously and said that she'd 'see wot she cud do' and walked off into an office. As it was nuw approachin' kick off time we couldn't wait any langer, so we left to take up wor places behind the goal (the anly stand open to the public)

Thinkin' that wor team sheet request 'had fallen on deaf ears' and az the teams ran oot, Dave took his 'Independent' newspaper from his back 'sky rocket' and procceded, with the help of 'Glennn from Ashington' and 'The Bear', (amongst others!) to compile wor aan 'independent' team sheet by scribblin' the players names doon in 'print gaps' on the front page of the paper! (see photo!)


 
With just fower minutes gone 'The Toon's' Sami Adjei took a tumble in the box which resulted in (wot anly can be described as!) a dubious spot kick with justifiable protests from the Chesterfield players!

Sami took the kick himself but it was a tame effort which was easily pushed away by the home keeper!

'The Crooked Spireites' (they've got a dodgy lookin' chuch spire in the toon centre!) then took the lead in the 11^th minute when Sodenberg in 'The Toon' goal, cud anly help a Scott Boden heeder into the net!

Half an hour afta the match had kicked off, there was a mad scramble doon the front of the stand, where (lo and behold!) wor wish had been granted az 'freshly minted' team sheets were bein' handed oot by a gadgie!

Glennn and Dave ran to the front to claim some of the 'prized pieces' of 'A4 paper'!

10 oot of 10 for the Chesterfield officials for 'bendin' ower backwards' to help us oot! (very much appreciated lads and lasses!)

Three minutes afta this we levelled things when Yven Moyo hit a sweet shot past the home keeper and there was a 'smatterin' of claps and cheers from the fifty or so Toon fans who were 'groundhoppin' as well! (we're NOT the anly sad ones!)

Chesterfield then bombarded the Toon goal but couldn't add to their anly goal and we went in aall square at the break.

'The Crooked Spireites' bombarded wor goal in the 2^nd half again but couldn't get past Sodenberg who had an excellent game and we were lucky (to say the least!) to get a draw, although Toon captain Brad Inman did come close on a couple of occasions late on, but on the whole it cud anly be described as a 'lack lustre' performance from 'the black 'n' whites'! (apart from wor goalie!)


 
Afta the match we heeded back to wor 'local' (Marthas agen!) before catchin' the train to 'Robin Hood country' to complete wor 'double heeder' @ The City Groond where the forst team won a dramatic game 4-3 with the winner comin' from captain 'Fab' Coloccini in the thord minute of stoppage time in extra time.

A memorable day oot we won't forget in a while!

(scroll doon for Forest match report)

(for 'Geordie Glossary of Terms' 'click' on reet hand side bar).>>>>>>

CHESTERFIELD GROOND REPORT

Posted '9:00 am bells Monday 26th September 2011

A'm franticalleee workin' on the Chesterfield report from last week (ground 281) and it shud be on line later toneet (or orly tomorrow mornin')---WATCH THIS SPACE!