THE TOON 3 THE ROVERS 1

Posted '9:30 pm bells' Saturday 24th September 2011

THE BIG PICTURE!

A memorable hat-trick from Demba Ba ended the seven year losin' 'jinx' against Blackburn @ St. James' Park today.
It was a fine performance from the 'black 'n' whites' which kept us in a Champions League position umtil at least the beginnin' of October.

Demba opened the scorin' in the 27th minute, when, with his back to the goal at The Leazes End he torned and fired a fierce drive into the top corner of the net past the dispairin' Paul Robinson in the visitors goal and then knelt doon on his 'honkers' and kissed the hallowed St. James' turf in celebration!

'Ba' then doubled wor lead bearly three minutes later with a simple heeder from five yards oot, when Steven Taylor heeded the baall back to him from the far post.

But just ten minutes later a daft mistake from Ryan Taylor ultimately let Blackburn's Hoilett in and he took his chance to half the defaecate.

However!---with just nine minutes gone of the second period Demba Ba got his hat-trick when he latched onto a Cheik Tiote cross to heed home at The Gallowgate End.

Rovers then had Olsson sent off for a second bookable offence and it was 'game ower' az far az we were concorned!

Amazingleee!--we are nuw anly fower points behind the Manchester clubs at the top of the league and are unbeaten in wor last ELEVEN! games gannin back to last season!---Who needs a F*****' centre forward!?---like!

Attendance: A very 'healthy' (and happy!) 46,236 (1,000 or so unhappy Rovers!)

Unbelievably!---we have been drawn away to Rovers in the next roond of the League Cup az well!---wor thord successive away game in the competition this season! 

THE TOON v THE ROVERS---THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH!

Updated '9:15 am bells Saturday 24th September 2011

ST JAMES' PARK---THE MILBURN STAND

Today at the 'ungodly' time of '3:00 pm bells' we play the 'Tandoori Takeaway Team' of Blackburn @ St James' Park (wor forst '3 bells' home kick off of the season!)
We are now unbeaten in SEVEN GAMES so far this season, but on the otha hand we havvent beaten wor visitors for ower SEVEN YEARS at home!---so we need to end this 'jinx' once and for aall!
The draw for the next roond of the League Cup takes place at dinnertime and the anly groond left that we havvent been te iz Aldershot's Recreation Groond. A home draw (for a change!) wud of course be preferable. (The draw iz on 'Sky Soccer Saturday' @ (approx) 'one bells')

'The Geordie Times 100 pub crawl challenge' contimues unabated and we are startin' off @ 'The Bodega' (pub 16) in Westgate Road @ '12 bells' and then 'Tillys' (17) next door, if anybody fancy's joinin' us!?


Match report & cup draw to follow later on toneet (or in the mornin' if a'm feeelin' a bit 'under'!?)

GROUNDHOPPERS UTOPIA!---2 MATCHES IN A DAY UPDATE

Updated '9:45 am bells' Thorsday 22nd September 2011

B2 NET STADIUM CHESTERFIELD

On Tuesday 'The Toon' had TWO GAMES in the space of SIX HOURS when, forst, the resorves played Chesterfield in a friendly at 'their' NEW! GROOND! @ '1:00 bells in the afternoon and then of course we had the League Cup tie with Forest @ 7:45 bells' @ The City Ground, Nottingham which wass wor second game of the day!  (been here before of course!)
The Geordie Times Groundhoppers divvint normally de two groonds in one day---but!---there are exceptions to the rules when a NEW GROOND iz involved!---"YAAAHHHOOO!"

'The Geordie Times' itinareee for Tuesday was az follows.
Catch the 8:43 bells train to Chesterfield, arrivin' @ 11:05 bells.
Have a few 'gargels'!
Watch the match @ 1:00 bells, then catch the forst available train to Nottingham.
Have a few 'gargels'!
Watch the match @ 7:45 bells, then return yem by cadgin' a lift in 'The Caped Crusaders' 'Batmobile', arrivin' back on Tyneside in the orly hours!

Afta a few hours kip "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!" get up for graft and drive to West Brom @ 8:30 bells!

(Aall in a days work for 'The Geordie Times'!)

Forst match report:
NEW GROOND!--NEW GROOND!
(a more compreeehensive and detailed story of this trip will be published in 'The Geordie Times' later on this/next week---when aa get time?---like!)

Ground number 281
B2 Net Stadium, Chesterfield

Chesterfield Resorves 1
Newcastle United Resorves 1 (Yven Moyo)

Friendly fixture
Attendance: 220 (50 Toon fans) (My estimate---some are less!) (Dave from York's iz: 197/48!)


"ANOTHA ONE OFF 'THE LIST'!"

The B2 Net Stadium is aboot a 20 minute waalk from the train station and aa have to say that aa was impressed with their new groond and with FREE! admission!---(wot more cud yi want?)

With just fower minutes gone The Toon's Sami Adjei took a tumble in the box which resulted in, (wot can anly be described as) a dubious spot kick with justiable protest from the Chesterfield players.
Sami took the kick himsel but it was a tame effort which was easily pushed away by the home keeper.

The Crooked Spireites (they've got a dodgy lookin' chuch spire in the toon centre!) then took the lead in the 11th minute when Sodenburg in The Toon goal cud anly help a Scott Boden heeder into the net.

We levelled things in the 33rd minute when Yven Moyo hit a sweet shot past the home keeper and there was a smatterin' of claps and cheers from the fifty or so Toon fans who were 'groundhoppin' as well! (we're NOT the anly sad ones!)

Chesterfield then bombarded the Toon goal but couldn't add to their anly goal and we went in aall square at the break.

'The Crooked Spireites' again bombarded wor goal in the 2nd half but again couldn't get past Sodenberg who had an excellent game and we were lucky (to say the least!) to get a draw,aalthough Toon captain Brad Inman did come close on a couple of occasions late on, but on the whole it cud anly be described as a lack-lustre performance from 'the black 'n' whites'! (apart from wor goalie!)

It was then onward to Nottingham for the 2nd part of wor double heeder! (see match report below!)

FOREST 3 THE TOON 4 !

Posted '7;30 am bells' WEdnesday 21st September 2011

"SINGIN' IN THE RAIN!"

LOVENKRANDS PENALTY IN FRONT OF TOON FANS

A spectacular topsy torvy SEVEN GOAL THRILLER @ The City Groond late last neet saw The Toon run oot 4-3 winners ower a 'brolly-less' Steve McClaren side in the rain, with wor winner comin' from 'Fab' Coloccini with a heeded goal deep into stoppage time of extra time and in front of the exxxstatic Toon fans behind that goal!

We were in the lead a total of FOWER times with Forest comin' back on three occasions.
Wor goals were az follows: (deep breath!)
39th minute: Peter Lovenkrands spectacular heeder@ The Trent End---60th minute:Penalty @ wor end
93rd minute: (extra time)Danny Simpson cross which went straight in the far corner @ The Trent End
123rd minute:'Fab' Colocinni
Attendance: anly 10,208 (2,187 Toon fans)

We were aalso in action @ Chesterfield in the afternoon where wor resorves played theirs in a 1-1 draw (Moyo)
Much more to follow when aa finish work much later toneent! (or in the mornin'!)

THE VILLA 1 THE TOON 1

Updated '8:00 am bells Monday 19th September 2011

The centre forwardless Magpies continued their great start to the season with a fine draw @ Villa Park. But it was a disappointed 2,000 or so Toon fans who left at the final whistle as we shud have taken aall three points against a very average side.

The home side opened the scorin' in the 13th minute when a defensive blunder let in Agbonlarhor who slotted past Tim Krul in The Toon goal. Villa had a couple more chances to double their lead soon after this but we settled doon and started played some canny stuff but Shay Given denied us at The Holt End with several fine saves and we went in one doon at the break.

We went for the jugular in the second half and again went close with Yohan Cabaye hittin' the Villa bar ten minutes after the restart before the invertible equaliser a couple of minutes later when Lion Best struck, convortin' a Cheik Tiote cross past Given for a well desorved equaliser.

We dominated after this but the winner neva came and we had to settle for the one point.
We are still in fourth position az aa write this piece!
Attendance: 34,248 (2,000 Toon fans)


'Brum' mini pub craal report

Before the match and on arrival at New Street Station at aroond '11 bells' we heeded for the forst boozer which was caalled The Wellington where a pint of 'Mad Goose' was mee chosen liquid refreshment!
Afta a few more 'gargels'in the surrondin' boozers it was off to The Bartons Arms which is a favorite of ours when we come to Villa as it's aboot a twenty minute waalk from the groond.



THE BARTONS ARMS---"STILL STANDIN'!"


Durin' the riots the otha week, the pub was looted and they tried to born it doon but thankfully the fire was put oot and the pub reopened within days.

Bein' lazy b*****ds when it was time to gan to the match, (afta several liquid refreshments!) we decided to get the bus instead of waalkin'!

However!---the number 7 bus which takes you past the groond was full and it drove straight past leavin' us in 'panic station' mode as it was just fifteen minutes to kick off and so a frantic wavin' of hands to any passin' taxi soon started!

Eventually two stopped and we were whisked to the groond with literally seconds to spare, just makin' the kick off!---it was a close caall and we definateleee WONT be deein' this again (shanks's pony the next time!)

THE VILLA v THE TOON---IT'S NOT LIVE!---OH! YES IT IZ!

Posted '6:30 am bells' Saturday 17th September 2011

"SOMEWHERE NEAR ST JAMES'!"

Later on this afternoon we will attempt to stretch wor unbeaten run at the start of the Premya Leege season to FIVE! games when we visit Villa Park @ '3 bells' for a rare non televised game!-------Aa say 'non televised', but that doesn't include a canny few bars in 'The Toon' that have the Arabian 'Pirate' Channel and who are blatentleee advertisin' that the game IZ live on the chalkboards in their boozers, despite the '3 bells' Saturday start, which iz supposed to be a 'no!-no'! (see above!)

However!---Villa Park iz not a happy place for us in recent years and we have lost on the last fower visits here, includin' that horrible day in May 2009 (IF yi divvint naa!---divvint ask!)

At sixty six quid for a train ticket and forty three quid for a match ticket it isn't a cheap day oot!---but!---aa cannit complain as 'Norman The Cowboy Plumber' and his 'bruvva' 'Fawlty Towers' have had to cough up an eye waaterin' ninety five quid just to let 'the train take their strain', coz they booked it up late!
And they wonder why attendances are gannin doon! (Away tickets were still on sale to season ticket holders/members on Friday neet!---2,700 allocation)

Match report to follow on Sunday (sometime!)

FULLBACK F****D!

Posted '8:50 am bells' Friday 16th September 2011

"DODGY KNEE?---WOT DODGY KNEE???"

News haz reached 'The Geordie Times' that wor latest and much needed recruit Davide Santon is sidelined with wot looks like a cartilage injury, withoot kickin' a baall in anger for the forst team yet! (He was an unused sub at QPR last Monday?)
Strangely? he was OK to play 70 minutes the next day for the resorves in their six-nil thrashin' of Norwich at Whitley Park?
(SO! why didn't he play @ Loftus Road then???)

Apparentleee!---he injured his (wot we've nuw foond oot!) 'dodgy right knee' in trainin' the day after the resorve game!
(IT CUD ANLY HAPPEN TO US!)

ARE THEY TRYIN' TO TELL US SOMETHIN'???

Posted '9:15 am bells' Thorsday 16th September 2011

The 'NEWCASTLE UNITED' sign that sat proudly on it's own for many years, on the roof of the East Stand, (until it waz recently 'wrecked'!) haz now been replaced with the above!
St. James' Park haz now been well and trueleee! 'RECT!'

THE GEORDIE TIMES---ONLINE ***************FIFTEEN THOOSAND HITS!

Posted '2:10 pm bells' Wednesday 15th September 2011

THE N.U.F.C.
ARCHIVE WEBSITE
FOR GEORDIE
EXILES AROOND
THE WORLD!

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!---WHEY AYE MAAN!"

AND BEYOND!

The Geordie Times haz just reached anotha landmark az we have had wor 15,000th hit today!
Special thanx to aall wor reeeders!
The USA leads wor owerseas visitors with 1,794 hits to date, followed by The Republic of Ireland on 444 and in thord place iz Greece with 385!

We have now had hits from 111 countries in total aroond the world (plus Mars!)

And a waam welcome to some of wor more recent visitors from far and wide!
HELLO! MOLDOVA!---HELLO! YEMEN---HELLO! VENEZUELA!---HELLO ZAMBIA!

RESORVES RUN RIOT!---MAGPIES 6 CANARIES 0

Posted '10:30 am bells' Wednesday 14th September 2011

DAN GOSLING

The Toon resorves ran riot yesterday afternoon when they hammered The Canaries of Norwich 6-0 @ Whitley Park, Benton.
Unfortunatally The Geordie Times wasn't there as we were still on the train retornin' from QPR when the match kicked off @ '1:00 bells'

Goals from Dan Gosling (2)(1 pen),  Gregg McDermott, Micheal Richardson, Ryan Donaldson and finally Yven Moyo in stoppage time completed wor best ever win in the Resorve Premya Leege in 12 years!