MUPPET & STEPTOE TICKET RIPOFF NEWS !

Posted '10:30 am bells' Wednesday 24th August 2011

A 'Geordie Times' club 
insider haz just informed us that wor trip to 'Steptoe & Son land' on Monday week will cost us the princelee sum of FORTY SEVEN QUID! to get in!
Not az much az the first reported FIFTY QUID we were origionally told, but still an ootragous amoont for a 'tuppence haapny club'!
(Perhaps they shud change their name to Queens Park Ripoffs!) (PS: "Err!" Just foond oot that their new owner haz dropped the ticket prices to a 'mere' FORTY QUID!) 

However! (and not to be outdone!) we have aalso hord that we WILL break the FIFTY QUID barrier for the forst time ever, when we gan to 'The Theatre of Muppets' in November to play The Cockney Reds!

Meanwhile! Villa are to charge us the ridiculously low price of anly FORTY THREE QUID to get into their place!

FOR THE FORST TIME EVER, YOO HORD THE NEWS FORST! IN 'THE GEORDIE TIMES'

"TAKIN' THE P*SS!"

Updated '9:00 pm bells' Monday 22nd August 2011

"EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY!"

Followin' wor fantastic win in the 'High Noon' derby' , 'The Geordie Times' can exclusively report that there was fierce riotin' in sund'lind before, durin' and after the match!
It haz been wildly reported that 2,640 looters from 'The Toon' broke into the South Stand at the SOS on Saturday and took the anly thing worth takin'!?----------------------  "THE P*SS!"

TILL DEATH US DO PART!------BROKEN NOSE BRUCE'S SMB's 0 THE GEORDIE BOYS 1 !

Posted '7:00 am bells' Sunday 21st August 2011

"ONE-NIL TO THE GEORDIE BOYS!"

Joyous news from The Stadium of "SSHHH!!!" (yee naa wot!) when a Ryan Taylor free kick flew into the net to seal a fantastic 1-0 win for The Toon against the SMB!
Apologies for not bloggin last neet but aa was rather ineeebreeated! az yi might guess, alang with the otha 2,639 Toon fans who were at the game! Attendance:47,751 (45,111 VERY! SMB!)

Special thanx to Alf Garnetts Travel for the fleet of 'luxury' school busses which ferried us to and from the match at less than snail like pace (10 mph max speed!) 

Az Alf would no doubt say---
"A TEAM IS FOR LIFE!---TILL DEATH US DO PART!"

I have to tell yoo however!, that the mackem manager was in defiant mood afta the match and he's penned this little ditty to rally the SMB troops!

"My name iz 'Broken Nose Bruce' and aa'll sing you a song!"
"We lost to The Mags by a goal to none!"
"I'm in dispair!--it's all gone wrong!"
"sund'linds a massive club!"

"Don't pick on me---or I'll tell my mam!"
"If you want a fight---I'll send Steve Cram!"
"We've got 'wearside Jack' -----celebrity fan!"
"sund'linds a massive club!"

Broken Nose Bruce 20th August 2011

A TOON FAN (not in picture!) CELEBRATES AFTA THE MATCH!

I've got to gan to work now---but much more to follow later toneet!---"YAHOOOO!!!"

HIGH NOON DERBY DAY!---SMB v THE TOON

Posted '7:45 am bells' Saturday 20th August 2011

The big day haz finally arrived and a'm off to a boozer within hocklin distance of St James' Park, (which aa carnt name, coz he's openin' orly!) for a few 'gargels', before catchin' the 10 mph 'tortoise travel' bus convoy to the SOS, for the high noon shootout!

Lets hope it's a goodin!

Match report to follow much later!

HIGH NOON DERBY---TICKET FIASCO---ONE! DAY TO GAN!----------SMB v THE TOON derby match reports from 1967 & 1970

Posted (just after!) 'high noon bells' Friday 18th August 2011

Meesel, 'Grumpy Stumpy', 'Scott of the Antarctic' and 'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' applied for seats together in the 'Friends and Family' ticket scheme and instead of sittin' together we are scattered aall aroond the away section of the SOS!???
I suppose we shud be grateful of even gettin' a ticket as 'Sarny Steve' has just 'text' to say that he hasn't even got his ticket yet, despite havin' ower THREE TIMES as many 'loyalty points' as needed to apply for one!

For my aan porsonal record and providin' aa get there?, this will be mee 41st consecutive League derby that aa'll have seen home and away since 1967.  
Me forst away derby was just before the torn of the new year in December '67' and aa'v reprinted the archive 'match report' from that game below!

(Scroll forther doon for the archive match report @ 'Joker' from 1970)

*ON THIS DAY in 1978 we played Millwaall in the notorious game @The Den which is still taalked aboot til this day ! (click on 'popular posts all time'  (045 the den, millwall) in the reet hand side thumbnail for match report >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

BLACK AND WHITE DAFT---ISSUE 5

Posted '4:00 pm bells' Thorsday 18th August 2011

Issue 5 of the Toon fanzine 'Black and White Daft' iz nuw on sale and there's several articles aboot the forthcomin' derby on Saturday and it includes 'The Geordie Times' archive report of 'The Easter Uprisin' derby' from 1970.

It's on sale from The Back Page Shop, which iz opposite The Newcastle Arms in St Andrews Street and within eeezy 'hocklin distance' of St James' Park. It's well worth a reeeeed!

The Geordie Times 1970 archive report iz printed below! ( Scroll doon!)

HIGH NOON DERBY---TWO! DAYS TO GAN!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 18th August 2011

There are nuw exactleee 2 days to gan before 'the high noon shootout' @ The Stadium of "SSHHH!!!" (yee naa wot!) . This iz the 145th meetin' between the clubs and The Toon lead
57-45  (47 draws)

HIGH NOON DERBY---THREE! DAY TO GAN!

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 17th August 2011

It iz now exactleee 3 days to the 'high noon shootout' @ The Stadium of "SSHHH!" (yee naa wot!) and the 'prized' piece of paper bearin' a c**p crest has just landed on mee doormat!

Aye!---a'm one of the lucky few to have enough 'loyalty points' to get one (2,640 ticket allocation!) and to 'celebrate' this a'v done an archive match report from wor visit there in the 'Easter Uprisin' of 1970', when TEN THOOSAND! 'black 'n' whites' 'took the fulwell' aall those years ago! ("Nuw where did aa put mee 'zimmer'?")

Aa'll be publishin' this story sometime tomorrow in the run up to the big day!

THE VULTURES ARE GATHERIN'!!!-----------('SCUNNY' TICKET NEWS!)

Updated '3:45 pm bells' Tuesday 16th August 2011

A TREE OOTSIDE GLANFORD PARK!

Tickets for The Toons forthcomin' League Cup
tie away to 'Scunny' are now on sale to season ticket holders. £19 for big kids £12 for zimmerframeites & £5 for little kids. 

The match is live on Sky telly on Thorsday 25th August @ '7:45 bells', no doubt because they are hopin' (and prEyin'!) for anotha cup humiliation!-----"ATTENTION!---THE 'SKY' VULTURES ARE CIRCLIN'!!!"

"SOMEWHERE OWER SCUNTHORPE!"

THE TOON 0 THE ARSE 0

Posted '9:00 am bells' Sunday 14th August 2011

The Toon secured a point in this goalless draa @ St James' in wot torned oot to be a bad tempered game.

There were two major taalkin' points in the game. Number one was when Joey Barton was stamped on by 'Song' reet in front of the ref linesman and 4th official but they AALL missed the incident??? and Song stayed on.

The second was when Arsenal's Gervinho dived in the Gallowgate End box and (again!) Joey Barton was involved, when he angrily pulled him to his feet and a fracas ensued and ended when Gervinho slapped wor number 7 in the face and Joey went doon 'like a sack of taaties'. The Arsenal man was susequently sent off and Joey was booked.

There were hardly any shots from us on target in the entire game and 'The Arse' were a shadow of the great side they used to be.

The crowd of under 47,000 will send shock waves to 'the powers that be', but wot do they expect when we sell nearly aall wor best players? 

Attendance: 46,984 (3,000 Arses)

The 100 Pub crawl report to follow later!