BOURNEMOOOTH V THE TOON *** TEATIME TOMORROW! ("TELL MEE MAA, MEE MAA, AA WON'T BE HOME FOR TEA!")

 Posted '3:00pm🔔 bells' Friday 10th February 2023

*We make wor langest away trip of the season tomorrow at '5:30 bells' (live on SKY) when we face 'Steady Eddie's old team Bournemoooth at their place! (720 miles, roond trip!)

We are travellin by 'jam jar' coz the trains are manic ower the weekend with replacement busses etc and lang jorney times! (Plus we didnt naa if there would be any train strikes!)

Of course everybodys mind iz on Wembley in just ower 2 weeks time in the Leegue Cup final against Moan U--and in total contrast to that, there will be just 1,300 diehard Toon fans present in Bournemoooth's tiny Vitality Stadium groond, compared to near 33,000 at Wembley, plus an estimated 30,000 travellin with nee tickets of course!!!

Bruno iz still suspended but £40million signin' Anthony 'Flash' Gordon iz set to start, az iz record signin' Isak, who missed wor last game through a concussion heed injury!

NUFC are unbeaten in wor last 7 away games, while Bournemoooth havvint won since the restart after the World Cup break, scorin just ONE goal in the process and concedin' 11!---and are in the 2nd bottom relegation place!

Moan Us failure to beat Leeedz in midweek meeenz that IF we win, we gan back above them into 3rd place on goal difference!

A Geordie Times match (and booze!) report will appear here sometime on Munday, coz, like aa say, we are travellin back by 'jam jar' on Sunday and tryin to dee a match report on mee 'telling bone'  in the back seat will be ny on impossible!

Az per usual---"Watch this space!---eventually!"

*

"IT'S GOOD NEWS WEEK!"

 Posted '12:46pm bells' Wedinzday 8th February 2023

"IZ THAT THE TYNE BRIDGE?---LIKE?"

Aa got me Wembley ticket on Munday and more good news for me iz that mee 3 grandsons managed to get Wembley tickets today!

They are ower the moon!

*More good news reaches 'The Geordie Times' that NUFC have bought back the land behind 'The Gallowgate End', which meeenz we can expand the stadium at this end and make it a 'mirror image' of 'The Leazes End', with plans for a 'fan zone' az well!---This really IZ good news indeed! Not sure wot the capacity will be, but it will be aroond aboot 60,000 when completed!

The East Stand shud then be knocked doon and rebuilt az its an eyesore compared to the rest of the stadium!

 

*

WEMBLEY TICKETS ON SALE FROM TODAY!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 6th February 2023

Went on NUFC website dead on '10:00 bells' this mornin' when Wembley tickets went on sale:  Aa woz 4,640th in the queue!

Estimated wait woz ower an hour, but aa got in after 30 mins!

Didn't get the block or seat aa wanted az tickets were gone, but beggars cant be choosers and a'm just glad aa got a precious ticket anyway!

Block 126 (wanted block 123 where mee mates are!) so aa'll be sittin aall on mee lonesome!😢

Of course a'm one of the very lucky ones and it would be great if everybody who wanted a ticket could get one, but Wembley doesn't hold 100,000 anymore! (90,000 now)

Just why both clubs anly get 32,761 iz beyond me when it holds 90,000----thats 25,000 tickets gannin to others who probably have nee affiliation with eethaa club???---Its a joke!

Pleeze note: The Wembley booking fee and postage iz £3:80, which iz £2:30 MORE than for a Leegue Cup final ticket, when we played Man City in 1976!

THE TOON 1 THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST 'AM 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 5th February 2023

"AFTER THE LORD MAYORS SHOW!"

NUFC started off brightly az we attacked The Gallowgate goal and within a minute we were one-nil up after Miggy Almiron crossed a baall for Joe Willock to fire home!---But wait a minute!----The goal went to VAR az Miggy's cross woz possibly oot of play!

After a short spell it woz conformed that the baall WOZ ower the byline and the goal woz ruled oot!

Then!---Just seconds later!----A through baall from Sean Langstaff foond Callum Wilson and he raced towards the goal before hittin a great shot past Fabianski in *'The Jellied Eels Mobs' goal to FINALLY put us one-nil up!----Nee VAR needed this time!

Just when we thought that this might torn into a cricket score we eased off and lets wor visitors off the hook az they pressed for an equaliser!

West 'am arnt a bad side and their leegue position near the relegation zone will surely get better!----They attacked the Leazes goal and a corner kick from Rice in the 32nd minute eventually foond Paqueta a few inches oot and aa knew he couldnt possibly miss from that distance az he tapped the baall into the net! ONE-ONE!

The 2nd half woz littered by wayward passes from us and when new boy Anthony Gordon came on at the mid point of the half to rapturous applause from the home faithful he made a great through pass to Wilson, but he woz too slow az he lined up hiz shot and a West 'am defender kicked the baall away just az he woz aboot to score wor 2nd goal!

Wilson had another chance late on when he had a weak heeder easily saved by their goalie and the chance woz gone!

We just couldnt get that winnin goal and had to settle for a point instead!----We slipped to 4th in the table az Moan U had won orlier on, but on the bright side we are the ANLY team oot of the 92 Premyaa Leegue and Futbaall Leegue sides to have lost anly ONE game this season, az The Arse lost at Evaatin to increase their losses to 2 games!

Aalso we are unbeaten in 16 succesive Leegue games to extend wor club record!

A bit disappointin' after 'The Lord Mayor's Show' on Tuezday, but yoo carnt win them aall!  

Attendance: 52,256 (3,200 Jellied Eels!)

*The Jellied Eels Mob---an explanation: Jellied Eels are a delicacy in the east end of London where West 'am come from! 

THE TOON v THE JELLIED EELS MOB OF WEST 'AM *** TEATIME TODAY! ("TELL MEE MAA, MEE MAA, AA WON'T BE HOME FOR TEA!")

 Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 4th February 2023

FROM TUEZDAY NEET!

At '5:30 bells' we take on West 'am at SJP in a Premyaa Leegue fixture!  Debuts are expected for Anthony 'Flash' Gordon and Harrison Ashby and there iz sure to be a fab atmosphere inside the stadium after wor Leegue Cup semi win ower Sooothampton on Tuesday neet to set up at Wembley final against Moan U!

On the minus side, Bruno iz banned for 3 games coz of hiz sendin' off v Sooothampton and we are hearin reports that Gordon iz facin JAIL coz he drove when he woz banned from drivin'!----Thats in The Sun so dont beleeeve anything yoo read in that paper!

Chelsea and Fulim drew last neet which meeenz that both drop 2 points in the race for the Champions Leegue places---which iz good news for us, shud we win today?

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here az per usual sometime tomorrow!  SO "Watch this space intentleeee!"

CUP FINAL TICKETS ON SALE FROM MUNDAY!

 Posted '11:35am 🔔 bells Friday 3rd February 2023

"WEST END IZ THE BEST END!"

Leegue Cup final tickets gan on sale to the loyalist Toon supporters on Munday in Period 1, then 2,3,4,5 on the following days!

There iz sure to be a mad scramble online on the club's website next week for the allocated 32,757 Wembley tickets!----NUFC have been allocated the 'West End' of the stadium!

THE TOON 2 THE SIMON TEMPLAR MOB OF SOOOTHAMPTON 1 *** LEEGUE CUP SEMI FINAL 2nd LEG (AGGREGATE 3-1)

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 1st February 2023

TOON PLAYERS ON A LAP OF HONOUR AT THE END OF THE GAME!

"LOCAL HERO!"

We went into this game needin anly a draw to progress to the final after the 1-0 win in Sooothampton the week before, but from the 'off' NUFC were on the 'front foot' az attacked The Gallowgate goal!

5minutes of pressure paid off when Sean Longstaff hit a sweet shot into the net from a Kieran Trippier pass to send most of the near 52,000 crowd wild with delight!  Aggregate score 2-0 to 'us'

Wor lead woz doubled in the 21st minute when again it woz local lad Longstaff who got hiz 2nd goal from a Miggy Almiron pass to fire home!-----Again the crowd went wild with repeated renditions of the "Tell me ma!" song! An aggregate of 3-0----surely we were home and dry!

Of couse thiz iz The Toon and a misstayk at the back let in Adams who hit a rocket shot past Nick Pope to reduce the errors to 3-1 on the half hour mark!

A norvous 2nd half followed az wor visitors had nee choice but to attack and nearly reduced the 3-1 margin on a few occasions az norves crept into wor side, with wayward passes!

Bruno woz sent off in the 81st minute after a VAR check by the ref for a foul on Edozie's ankle and we played oot the remainin' minutes with just 10 men!-----ELEVEN minutes of stoppage time woz added coz of injuries etc,  az the crowd whistled for the final whistle---and when it eventually came it brought a huge cheer of relief from aall 4 stands!

Wor forst Wembley final this century against most probably Moan U, who hold a 3-0 advantage ower The Friar Tuck Mob of Nottingham from their forst leg! (That game iz played toooneet)

Now for the mad ticket scramble that will ensue ower the next couple of weeks!----The final at Wembley iz in 25 days time! 

"HOWAY THE LADS!"

Attendance: 51,975 (just 2,500 Saints)

*

VERY HAPPY FANS LEAVIN' THE GROOND AFTER THE MATCH!

*For an explanation of wor nickname for Sooothampton see 'A to Z of club nicknames in heeder bar

THE TOON V SOOOTHAMPTON *** LEEGUE CUP SEMI FINAL 2nd LEG *** TOOONEEET!

 Posted 'high noon🔔 bells' Tuezday 31st January 2023

Tooneet at SJP we play wor biggest game for 23 years in wor quest to get to Wembley in The Leegue Cup final! ('8:00 bells' kick off----live on SKY)

NUFC have a 1-0 advantage from the forst leg last Tuezday and we can anly hope that we dont baalls it up!

We are odds on to reach the final, az are Moan U who play Forest tomorrow with a 3 goals advantage in their semi!

It will be a norvy 90 minutes (or 120 if extra time iz needed!---plus pens!)

This iz where we want to be----challengin' for trophies once again!

Lets aall cheer 'The Toon' on to victory and dream of Wembley on February 26th!

"HOWAY THE LADS!"

A full 'Geordie Times' match report will appear here sometime tomorrow----lets hope (and pray!) that its a great report!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

HE'S AZ QUICK AZ A FLASH!"

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 30th January 2023

Updated Tuezday '11:45am bells'

It's now official!  Az soon az yoo see a player in front of The East Stand sign in a Toon top, twirlin' a black n white scarf above hiz heed, yoo know its a 'done deal'!

In this case a £45 million 'done deal' makin wor new 21 year old winger Anthony 'Flash' Gordon the 2nd highest transfer fee in wor history! (Isak iz the most ever at £60 million quid!)

"WELCOME TO TYNESIDE ANTHONY!"

Updated Tuezday '11:45am bells'

Right back Harrison Ashby haz aalso signed from West 'am for a reported £3 million quid!

"Welcome to Tyneside Harrison!"

EVAATONIANS HAVE ANLY GOT THEMSELVES TO BLAME!

 Posted '2:19pm🔔 bells' Saturday 28th January 2023

Updated Sunday '11:42am bells'

GRAINY PIC OF ANTHONY GORDON AT THE NUFC TRAINNIN' GROOND THIS MORNIN'!

"GET OUT OF OUR CLUB!"----"HE HAZ--HE HAZ!!!"

News that 21 year old winger Anthony Gordon iz on Tyneside az we speak to sign for us iz deein the rounds!--A fee of aroond aboot £40 million with £5 million add ons haz been mentioned!

The Evaatin boyhood fan haz been hounded out of hiz club by toxic fans seen chasin hiz car doon one of the narrow streets that surroond Goodison Park, with fans blockin' hiz and othaa players exit after their loss to Sooothampton last week with traffic bollards! (In Livaapoool's colours az well!)

The video which iz deein the rounds on twitter etc shows fans shoutin "Get out of our club!" and singin the "Your not fit to wear the shirt!" song!

Gordon hazzint been playin well lately and who can blame him, when at the back of hiz mind he knows that it will be toxic after a game, shud Evaatin lose!---It certainly doesn't help!---does it?

Directors have been attacked with one woman director bein put in a heedlock by a 'fan'?---and told to stay away--or else face the consequences! (They DID stay away!) 

Divvint get me wrang, but we naa a few Evaatin fans who we meet in 'The Barlow Arms' near the groond, before and after games doon there--and they are canny people, who wouldn't dream of deein such things!

They are NOT aall toxic by any meeenz!

Other news that Kieran Trippier haz signed an extention to hiz contract til 2025 iz more good news aheed of wor biggest game for 23 years (The last time we were in a domestic cup semi final) on Tuesday against Sooothampton, for a place at the new Wembley in The Leegue Cup final on February 26th!

Aall we can say iz:---"Welcome to Tyneside Anthony!"---And we promise that we won't put any road block barricades up on Barrack Road (The main road ootside SJP) to stop yoo from leavin' after a game---win, draw or lose! 

MORE SIGHTINGS OF 'FLASH ⚡ GORDON'!

METRO CENTRE, GATESHEEED