SMB TICKETS NUW ON SALE!

Posted '12:25 pm bells' Tuesday 29th September 2015

THE LAST TIME WE WERE THERE!
"ARE THEY PEOPLES HOUSES!?"

Tickets for wor annual torturous visit to The SOS next month are nuw on sale to season ticket holders with 100 loyalty points or more <(those of yoo who have been to at least 100 away games!)

Tickets are priced @ £39 for big kids, £26 for zimmerframeites ower 65 and £16 for under 16s and sprogs!

THE TOON 2 THE CHELSKI PENSIONERS 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 27th September 2015

PEREZ SENDS IN A CORNER AND WIJNALDUM HEEDS HOME (centre of pic)
'GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!'

"IT FEELS LIKE A DEFEAT!"

If you'd asked any Toon fan before the game if we would be happy with a draw against the champions of Ing-er-land, 99.99% would have taken it!

To be 2-0 up and then concede 2 late goals waz heartbreakin' but not entirely unexpected az we nearly hoyed aall 3 points away at the end!

We played well for a change and went straight for goal from the start with Perez gannin close orly on!

VIEW FROM THE MILBURN STAND BALCONY WITH THE EAST STANDS LIGHTS BLARIN'
THE CIVIC CENTRE AND THE NORTH SEA BEYOND ARE ON THE HORIZON!

It waz indeed Perez who gave us the lead just before the break when hiz shot went in off the post @ The Leazes End to send the crowd into raptures!

Wor lead waz doubled midway through the 2nd half when a Perez corner foond the heed of Wijnaldum and he foond a space at the far side of the Gallowgate goal to put us in wonderland az the roof lifted off the stadium! (see top pic!)

Then 2 subs by Chelski proved to be the tornin' point when 1st sub Ramires hit an unstoppable drive past Tim Krul to half the deficit with just 10 mins to gan!

Worse waz to follow just 5 mins later when a free kick by 2nd sub Willian unsighted Krul and the baall ended up in the back of wor net!---A 'KRUL' BLOW for aall of us!

It could have been worse at the death when anothaa free kick by Chelski waz palmed away by wor goalie and the game ended aall square!---but! it felt like a defeat after bein' 2 up!

A much (much!) better performance than wor last 3 games and we can anly hope that this iz a revival at last!


Man of the match : It haz to be Kevin Mbabu who waz makin' hiz Premyaa Leegue debut and MUST be in wor startin' line up next week against 'The Blue Moonies' in Manchester!

Toon team: Krul, Mbemba, Coloccini, Mbabu, Sissoko (De Jong 92), Anita, Colback (Obertan 55), Wijnaldum, Perez, Mitrovic (Toney 85)

Attendance: 48,682 (3,161 Pensioners (of various ages!)
The crowd waz less than we predicted (50,000) but with adult prices startin' at £39 and juniors at £22 and of course a late kick off for live telly, it wasn't that bad---waz it!? 

THE TOON v THE CHELSKI PENSIONERS **** THIS EVENIN'!

Posted '11:13am bells' Saturday 26th September 2015

ST JAMES' PARK---VIEW FROM LEAZES PARK ROAD

A beleaguered NUFC take on Champions Chelski @ St James' Park @ '5:30 bells' hopin' (and prayin'!) for at least a GOAL to cheer!
Wor visitors are not surprisingly odds on favourites to take the 3 points back to 'The Smoke' az we look for wor forst win of the season in the leegue at the 7th attempt!

Mitrovic iz back after hiz 3 match suspension and we can anly hope that he stays on the pitch for 90 minutes and gets us on the score sheet!

Havin' lost to a Sheff Wed resorve side durin' the week in the Leegue Cup---and not forgettin' last Saturdays debacle against Wotfad, wor confidence iz at an aall time low <(that's the players AND the fans!) and a hat-trick of home defeats in a week would set yet anothaa UNWANTED record!

We will of course be there to cheer on the team az we aalways de (through the cracks of wor fingers!) and a crowd of 50,000 iz expected, alang with the SKY TV audience of a few million!
Chelski have sold 3,161 tickets for level 7 of The Leazes End---lets hope they are NOT smilin' at the end of the game!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow az per usual of course, az we attempt to beat wor visitors @ St James' for the FOURTH TIME IN A ROW! <(we definatly WANT this record!)  

ALL 'GLUED UP'!

Posted '1:37pm bells' Friday 25th September 2015

Playermaker? Siem De Jong haz sounded yet anothaa 'battle cry' after the last 3 desperate debacles against West Ham, Wotfad and Sheff Wed Resorves!--and haz urged the players to 'stick together' against Champions Chelski @ St James' Park tomorrow evenin'!

WOR OBSESSION WITH THE INTER CITIES FAIRS CUP!

Posted '1:05pm bells' Friday 25th September 2015

Yet again 'The Ronny-Gill' haz mentioned us winnin' 'The Fairs Cup' way back in 1969!---We can't seem to gan more than a week withoot futbaall writer John 'Gibbo' Gibson mentionin' it ower! and ower! and ower! and ower again! in hiz column!

The question on everybodys lips ---IZ!---how long will it be before wor LAST major trophy win 46 years, 3 months and 2 weeks ago iz mentioned again in the local 'rag'?
Ne more than 10 DAYS! (at the most) I am willin' to bet----we shall see and keep yoo informed!

THE TOON 0 THE WEDNESDAY RESORVES 1 *** LEEGUE CUP 3rd ROOND 2015-2016

Posted '12:52pm bells' Thorsday 24th September 2015

"A'd rather be stuck in the M1 road works than watch this!"

Leyton Orient!, Bournemoooth & Boscombe Athletic!, Blackpool!, Chester!, Peterboro United!, Lincoln City!, Bristol Rovers!, Bormingham City!, Wotfad!, Bury!, Oxford United!, Bradford City!, Reading!, SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY!!! etc!---etc!---etc! 
Theeze are just some of the 'so caalled' 'lesser teams'? that have knocked NUFC oot of the Leegue Cup since its inception in 1960
(Apologies if we've missed any more 'debacles' and 'horror shows' oot!)

We just divvint naa wot to say aboot aall this anymore???--- except that a mediocre Championship side like Sheff Wed can inflict a devastatin' defeat against us, shud send the 'Blind Faith Brigade' into the 'blind leadin' the blind mode'! (blindfolds at the ready of course!)

Just one shot on target from us in the entire game---5 mins from the end by Wijnaldum when it waz aall tooo late, sums up this sorry state of affairs!

THE TOON PREPARE TO KICK OFF---IT AALL WENT 'DOON HILL' FROM THIS POINT!

When Wednesday resorves! took a deserved lead in the 76th minute through McGugin (they made TEN changes from the weekend!) it waz a relief in some ways, az we didn't have to face the torture of extra time and penalties! <(which waz just az well az mee 5 year old grandson Jamie had to gan to school this mornin'!)

HONESTLY!---A'd rather be stuck in a 10 mile traffic jam in mee truck in the M1 road works <(quite common when they shut the motorway for night work!) than watch this shambles!
"I hope I have made myself clear Mr McClaren!"

PS: I will be 'truckin' doon the M1 tooneet on 'the night trunk' to deepest Worcestershire from Gatesheed!---CANNIT WAIT!
"Traffic cones! traffic cones! here I come!" 

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat (Mbabu 46), Lacelles, Williamson, Mbemba, Anita, Wijnaldum, Thourvin (Perez 46), Sissoko, Obertan (Toney 70), De Jong

Attendance: 33,986 (includin' 5,000 very happy and noisey Wednesdayites!)
A fantastic and undeserved home crowd of 28,000 plus!
(WHEN will we ever lorn???)

THE PRE MATCH GARGELS TOOK PLACE IN 'BAR LOCO'
AZ JAMIE GETS STUCK INTO HIZ 'COKE BEER' 'ON THE ROCKS'!

  

THE TOON v THE WEDNESDAY *** TOONEET!

Posted '12:33pm bells' Wednesday 23rd September 2015


ST JAMES' PARK --- THE MILBURN STAND AT NIGHT


Tooneet we take on Championship side Sheff Wed @ St James' Park in the 3rd roond of the Leegue Cup.
It will be very interestin' to see just wot team we will send oot this evenin' @ '7:45 bells', bearin' in mind we have anothaa 'vital' Premyaa Leegue home game at the weekend against Chelski

It will aalso be interestin' to see the size of the crowd givin' wor recent form although wor visitors will have 4,500 in the upper reaches of the Leazes End.
We predict a crowd of around aboot 30,000!

The draw for the next roond takes place after wor game--but will we be in it?---we shall soon find oot!

A full match report and pix will appear here sometime tomorrow IF aa can get mee computaa to work properly, az it's been 'workin itsel' lately!
If ne match report appears yoo will know why! 

IDENTITY CRISIS!

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 22nd September 2015

Steve 'The Brolly' McClaren haz come oot with some very puzzlin' and bafflin' comments ower the last few days which make absolutleee ne sense whatsoever!

Quote 1:
"WHAT IDENTITY HAVE WE GOT!?"

Quote 2:
"WE ARE SEARCHING FOR THE BEST IDENTITY WITHIN PERSONNEL WE HAVE GOT HERE!"

Quote 3:
"I DON'T THINK WE HAVE AN IDENTITY YET!"

AAARRR!---NOW WE UNDERSTAND
JUST WOT YOO MEAN, STEVE!

THE TOON 1 WOTFAD 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted '11:40am bells' Sunday 20th September 2015

JUST BEFORE WOTFAD SCORED THEIR 2nd GOAL
"HELLO!---IS THAT JOHN CARVER?---HELP!"

"POSITIVELY NEGATIVE!"

We cannit remember if we've used the above headline before (we probably have?) but we said yesterday that we needed a 'positive' performance against Wotfad---and that's exactly wot we DIDN'T get!

The alarm bells shud have been ringin' orly on, az the visitors attacked the Gallowgate goal with 3 good chances missed before the 'totally expected' happened, when they took the lead in the 10th minute through Aghalo who had the easy chance to score az he stood unmarked near the goal----He doubled Wotfad's lead just before the half hour mark with anothaa easy chance az wor defence waz flat footed and unable to stop it gannin in!

We did have some chances worsel, @ The Leazes End with Cisse missin' a couple of good chances--and one that the ref missed az he waz pulled back in the box by hiz shirt (see foto!)

A CLEAR PENALTY AZ WOTFAD'S NUMBER 5 GRABS CISSE'S SHIRT!

We hit back on the hour mark with a very rare goal from Janmaat (wor forst for nearly EIGHT hours!) az he sidefooted the baall past Gomes in the visitors goal to give us at least some hope of a comeback!---It wasn't to be however and we now have gone 6 games withoot a win at the start of this season.

Amazingly we actually moved off the bottom spot az the SMB's lost by a 2 goal margin at Bournemooth!

'The Wally with the Brolly' looked a very happy man in hiz post match interview----the anly one of us who waz!
When asked if there waz a crisis he replied: "No,no,no,no,no,no,NO!"

POST MATCH INTERVIEW ON MATCH OF THE DAY
"I'M SO HAPPY WE ACTUALLY SCORED A GOAL!"---WHAT CRISIS?"

Chelski and Man City are up next in the leegue!!!---an eazy SIX points for 'US' then???

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Coloccini, Haidara (Aarons 80), Mbemba, Colback, Wijnaldum, Sissoko, Thaurvin (Obertan 88), Perez, Cisse (De Jong 46)

Attendance: 47,806 <(we predicted a crowd 'approachin' 48,000!) (2,200 of Elton John's mates!) *

"SAY NO MORE!"



UNHAPPY FANS FILE PAST THE JACKIE MILBURN STATUE AFTER THE GAME!
WOT WOULD 'WOR JACKIE' MAKE OF IT ALL!?

 

THE TOON v WOTFAD *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Updated '10:20am bells' Saturday 19th September 2015



"FROM ONE CATHEDRAL TO ANOTHER!"
(ST JAMES' PARK---VIEW FROM THE TOP OF 'ST NIX' CATHEDRAL)
(Special thanx to 'STEEV' for foto!)
FOR MORE PIX LIKE THIS, GAN TO: 'ST JAMES' PARK VIEWS' (ABOVE)

We gan into worth sixth leegue game of the season lookin' for wor forst win, but on the evidence on wot we've seen so far the future looks bleak unless 'The Wally with the Brolly' can change things and motivate the players for this vital game against Wotfad @ St James' Park----one of three successive home games in the next eight days!

Playin' with a lone striker up front like we did at West Ham last Munday neet just doesn't work az Cisse waz oot of sorts like the rest of the team and looks like a player who just doesn't want to be here!
Quite simply McClaren HAZ to change wor startin' line up and start with Perez, De Jong and Aarons, instead of leavin' them on the bench! 

With just two home wins in the leegue since January (against Villa and West Ham last season) this iz a must 'MUST' win game, az surely if we cannit beat newly promoted and relegation 'fodder' Wotfad @ 'The Cathedral on the Hill', then just who can we beat!?

With Chelski and Man City up next in the leegue, THREE points (and some goals pleeeze!) iz a 'MUST'!

We understand that 'The Elton John Mob' have selt 2,200 tickets for level 7 of The Leazes End and with the old 'current bun' shinnin' brightly ower the sacred River Tyne az we speak, a crowd approachin' 48,000 iz predicted by 'The Geordie Times'

A full match report will of course appear here in due time az per usual!------Let's hope we can write sommik POSITIVE for a change!