THE TOON V NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN *** FA CUP 5th ROOND

 Posted ‘3:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Saturday 1st March 2025

SJP FROM LEAZES PARK LAKE!

We change competitions once again, this time to the FA Cup for a chance to progress to the qwaata finals, when we play Brightin at the odd time of ‘1:45 🛎️s’ tomorrow at SJP! (ITV 1) (That’s a brand new crazy telly time to gan with aall the others!)

We can anly hope that we play much better after Wedinzday’s bad performance at Anfeeeld and hope that the trio of Isak, Joelinton and Botman are in the startin line after missin the game v Livaapoool!

A win will propel us to within one game of a semi final place at Wembley —-and yet more expense!

(It ain’t cheap being an NUFC mad-sad groundhopper!)

NUFC lost 1-0 to Brightin in the Premyaa Leegue at SJP orlier this season, so we need a much better response to progress!

APU “Watch this space!” for a match report on Munday!

THE LAST TIME NUFC BEAT THEM AT THEIR PLACE!

 Updated ‘high noon 🛎️bells’ Friday 28th February 2025

TOON FANS CELEBRATE WOR FAMOUS 2-0 WIN AT THE ARSE ORLIER THIS YEAR!

🤪👍🏁

THE ANFIELD JINX CONTINUES!

The last time we won away at these current Premyaa Leegue groonds iz az follows! 

Az yoo can see below, we have won at 15 away groonds this decade and 18 in total this century! 

Livaapoool iz bottom of the list and iz the anly current Premyaa Leegue groond that we havvint won at in the 21st century!  It’s now 30 years since we last won at Anfield!---And 29th time in a row that we have failed to beat them at their place on Wedinzday neet!

Sooothampton 2025

The Arse 2025

Sporz 2025

Ipswitch 2024

Moan U 2024

Forist 2024

Villaa 2024

Fulhim 2024

Wolvzz 2024

Brentfaad 2024

Evaatin 2023

West ‘am 2023

Lestaa 2022

Paliss 2020

Bournemoooth 2020

Brightin 2017

Man Citih 2014

Chelseee 2012

Livaapoool 1995

THE LIVERBIRDS 2-0 THE TOON *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 27th February 2025 (On the train back yem!)

"BEFORE THE LORD MAYOR'S SHOW!"

*There woz yet more misery on the Mersey. az for the 29th time in a row we failed miserably to beat the red side of Livaapoool!

The score woz therefore predictable to say the least az we succumbed at Anfeeeld!

Missin from the startin line up woz Isak, with a muscle strain, replaced by Callum Wilson up front, but it woz the home side who pressed from the word go, az they attacked the Anfeeeld Road end, where we were, and sure enough the breakthrough came in the 11th minute when Fabian Schar failed to stop Diaz and he slipped the baall across the box where Szoboslai woz waitin to shoot home after it went through a body of players and took a slight deflection to wrang foot Pope in the Toon goal!

1-0 to them!

It woz one way traffic az The Liverbirds went for more goals, with us unable to stop their relentless pressure!

We tried in vain to break doon their defence with Wilson missin a clear cut chance late on in the half!

HT 1-0 doon (Should have been more for them!)

The 2nd half woz the same and when their 2nd goal went in it woz ‘game ower’!

That goal came in the 60th minute when MacAlister fired across the box to beat The Pope az they attacked The Kop!

There woz nee way back for NUFC!

A 2-0 defeat, which should have been a lot more in this ‘dress rehearsal’ for the Leegue Cup final at Wembley next month!

On a more positive note, hopefully Joelinton, Botman and Isak are fit for that game!?—If so, we stand a chance!

Attendance: 60,364 (3,000 Toon fans who accepted wor ‘fate’!)

Footnote: Some lads behind us were in the wrang seats— And when some of ‘Amanda’s bus crew’ turned up, they refused to move! They said that they could sit anywhere they liked!

This resulted in a heated argument with pushin and shovin, with hands aroond throats etc! They eventually moved but came back in the 2nd half where more angry exchanges occurred—with one of them escorted oot by ‘the dibble’!

And the moral of the story IZ!- sit in your proper seats which are on your phones or match tickets!

Don’t be a tosser, like them and lose your season tickets!

Updated ‘2:15pm bells 🔔’

“A SHEEPISH EXCUSE!” 🐑 🐑 

Wor train iz near Durham and the latest excuse for it being delayed iz because there are some SHEEP 🐑 🐑 on the line!—Now that’s a new one! —I don’t believe it! (You can’t pull the wool over my eyes! 👀!(sic!)

Not much of a pub crawl  Just 2 —- 1 in Southport (where we stayed) and 1 in Livaapoool! (where we have been many times before!)

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THE LIVERBIRDS v THE TOON *** TOONEET!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 26th February 2025 on the train doon!

THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE IN JANUARY 2024---A 4-2 DEFEAT!

In a dress rehearsal for The Leegue Cup final next month, we heed to Anfeeeld to take on title favourites and runaway leaders Livaapoool in a Premyaa Leegue fixture!

Hopefully we can play like we did in the forst half v Forest on Sunday and NOT like wor second half performance or else we'll get well and truely stuffed tooneet!

The game kicks off at the ridiculous '8:15 bells' appointed time for live telly!  The kick off time of course meeenz that we cannit get back yem by train and are stoppin in Southport 20 miles north, az the hotel prices in Livaapoool are absolutleee ridiculous! (£300 plus)  Southport (£30)

The prices have got a hell of a lot to dee aboot Livaapoool's 'gloryhuntin' tourist fans', which seemz to be spreadin' far and wide these days! (When we stopped owerneet on the ootskirts of Manchester after wor '8:00 bells' kick off game at Moan U in December, there were more of their 'fans'? in the hotel than wors!)

Like The Eteeead at Man City, Anfeeeld  iz bogey groond for certain az we havvint won here for 30 years!

Aall 3,000 digital tickets allocated to us sold oot ages ago for the Anfeeeld Road End!

Both Joelinton and Sven Botman are close to retornin to the fray and may play some part tooneet?----Sandro Tonali iz fit and will definatly be on at least the subs bench! 

We reeely must be at wor best to have any chance of winnin or gettin a draw, but dafter things have happened!

Results from last neet meen we drop from 5th to 6th place in the table!

A full Geordie Times match (and boozer!) report will appear here az per usual sometime on Thorzday!  APU: "Watch this space!"

ALTRINCHAM v THE TOON U21s *** NATIONAL LEEGUE CUP QWAATAA FINAL

 Posted from '7:30pm bells' onwards Tuezday 25th February 2025

*NUFC U21s gan into tooneets game at Moss Rose, hopin to reach the semi finals of the competition!

*Most of the (much!) older 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have been here before, to watch wor resorves play Moan U reserves 21 years ago in 2004 and so won't be attendin' tooneet! (We've got the T shirt!👕 ) (see ground 233 in right hand column, or below this article)

Nee doubt some will be there for the forst time and 'The Geordie Times' will bring updates for any goals or incidents that may occur az soon az we find oot!

If you can gan it’s a fiver for big kids 👨 to get in and two quid for sprogs 👶 and zimmerframeites! 👴🏻 

UPDATES HERE! 🠷👇

*7th minute: Goal to Altrincham Reddin! shot 1-0 to them!🥶

10th minute: Goal to Altrincham

Taylor! heeder 2-0 to them!🥶

19th minute: GOAL to NUFC

Garang Kuol! Long range shot!

🤪👍🏁 2-1 to them!🥶

29th minute: GOAL to NUFC!

Jay Turner-Cooke! penalty!🤪👍🏁

Aall square 2-2!

HT 2-2

57th minute: GOAL to NUFC!

Garang Kuol again! Tap in! 3-2 UP!

🤪👍🏁

89th minute: Goal to Altrincham oh no! Alamuzor heeder! 3-3 🥶

FT 3-3

The dreaded penalty shootout now!

Oh no! Lost 3-2 on penalties!🥶

3 missed oot of 5 so NUFC U21s gan oot of the competition!😭

Updated 10:44pm bells 🔔 

“IT’S A NO BRAINER🧠AT BRAINTREE!" 

IF we had beaten Altrincham then there would have been the real possibility of playin Sutton, Aldershot or Braintree 🧠 in the semi final of The National Leegue Cup

3 groonds that ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ have never been tee!

The defeat meenz that it’s now a ‘no brainer!’ (excuse the pun!)

THE MERRY MEN OF SHERWOOD COLLIERY 1 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 2 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST DIVISION

 Posted '4:00pm bells' Tuezday 25th February 2025              

(Game played last Saturday)

THAT'S SHERWOOD FOREST IN THE BACKGROOND---         

"WHERE'S ROBIN HOOD AND HIZ MERRY MEN!?"

*With NUFC not playin til Sunday at SJP against Nottingham Forest aa decided to 'mad-sad groundhop' to deepest Nottinghamshire to watch The Dunston Bad Blue Boys play Sherwood Colliery, which iz in the heart of Sherwood Forest, where Robin Hood and hiz merry men lived many moons ago!

The Geordie Times antourage <(we naa aall the big words!) numberin ONE!(me!) travelled doon on the Dunston FC team bus, where the commitee sit at the front, the players sit at the back and the fans sit in the middle!

The M1 motorway woz shut just past the M18 torn off, so the driver of the team bus had nee choice but to divert up that motorway instead towards the A1M!

One wrang tornin off the A1 and we ended up gannin the lang way roond and instead of gettin to the groond at '1:00pm bells' az planned, we arrived nearly one hour later and made a mad dash to the clubhoose for some much needed liquid lubrications of the alcholic variety and shovelled a few pints🍺🍺🍺🍺doon, before the '3:00 bells' kick off!👇

The game kicked off with barely 100 spectators present, with Dunston comittee and fans makin up aboot 20% of the gate! (Thats 20 for yoo ignorammanious oot there!) 👇

A FEW OF THE LOYAL BAND OF DUNSTON ‘NE11’ FANS!

The huge Sherwood forest woz behind the far stand from us, but disappointingly there woz nee sign of Robin Hood or hiz merry men in the assembled 'crowd'? (mebeez they were off robin the rich to give to the poor!)              👇  

It woz a nightmare start for 'The Bad Blue Boys' (who played in aall RED!) az they went behind after just 4 minutes on the plastic pitch, when Xander Duhameau fired home a low shot from 20 yards oot, beatin Dan Lowson in the Dunston goal! 1-0 to The Merry Men of Sherwood! 

Sherwood are in a relegation place, while Dunston are in a play off place and az yi'd expect they came back to equalise in the 19th minute, when JJ O'Donnell heeded home from 20 yards oot, with the home keeper rooted to the spot! 1-1 

Thats the way it stayed til the break and to be honest it wasnt a very good game!----Another mad dash to the clubhoose for a gipsys kiss (there were nee 'tool sheds' (bogs) inside the groond!? (Never seen that before!) and of course a swift tonsil ticklin lubrication before the start of the 2nd half!

A FRAMED PICTURE SIGNED BY PETER BEARDSLEY IN THE TOOL SHED!

"I CERTAINLY DIDN'T EXPECT THAT IN THE SHERWOOD CLUBHOOSE!"

Az yi'd expect aa missed the forst 5 minutes of the restart az it took a while to get sorved, with the clubhoose packed with twice az many people in it, that were at the match? (Its an absolute disgrace that they didn't wait until I retorned to kick off the 2nd half!)😠

Thankfully, aa missed nee more goals when aa eventually got back to mee standin place in the groond, az 'The Bad Blue Boys in Red' attacked the left hand goal from where aa woz standin'!

The 2nd period woz a bit better and both teams 'even stevens' until the 67th minute when Dunston goalie Lowson punted the baall upfield, which saw Dale Pearson break free and cross to JJ O'Donnell!

He woz brought doon in the box by Sherwood's Smith and the ref pointed straight to the penalty spot!  O'Donnell took it himself and put the baall to the right of their keeper to put the 'Bad Blue/Red Boys'  2-1 up!

👇

The goal lifted Dunston az The Merry Men wornt so 'merry' now!

It ended 2-1 to Dunston who kept their play off place, while Sherwood are stuck in the relegation zone!

This woz mee 75th groond watchin' Dunston to reach the three qwaataaz of a century mark! (29 of which a'v seen The Toon play on az well!)

The jorney back to Tyneside woz uneventful (nee motorways closed and nee wrang torns by the driver, this time!) 

Official attendance 122

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THE TOON 4 THE FRIAR TUCK MOB OF NOTTINGHAM 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 24th February 2025

1ST HALF---A DR JEKYLL PERFORMANCE!

🤪👍

"THE TALE OF TWO TOON'S!"

Yet another Jekyll and Hyde performance from The Toon, this time in each half of the same match!?

It started off badly in the 6th minute when Jacob Murphy lost possesion near the half way line to Hudson-Odoi who ran through to hit a shot into the corner of the net at The Leazes End past 'The Pope' in the NUFC goal!  0-1 to them!

However we recovered and laid seige to the Forest goal and Lewis Miley hit a fantastic shot from just inside the box in the 23rd minute to level things!

Just 2 minutes later we were 2-1 up when a Lewis Hall cross foond Murphy and after a mad scramble in the box he forced the baall ower the line with wot appeared to be hiz knee!

And then in the 33rd minute it woz 3-1 when Aina handled the baall in the box and after a very lenghty VAR check the penalty woz given!

Alexander the Great (Isak) took it and despite ex Toon goalie Matt Sels gettin a hand to it, it ended up in the roof of the net!

ALEXANDER THE GREAT'S PENALTY!

This crazy scorin sequence continued just one minute later when Isak when he curled the baall into the net for hiz 50th Toon goal! 4-1 at the break!---Surely there woz nee comeback from The Friar Tuck Mob???

2ND HALF---A MR HYDE PERFORMANCE!

🥶👎

But this IZ NUFC and completly the opposite happened in the 2nd period!  Fabian Schar hit the post orly in the half az we attacked the Leazes goal, but the baall boonced to safety!

This seemed to wake Forest up and THEY then laid seige to the Gallowgate goal and had several clear chances to reduced the deficit!

It finally came in the 64th minute when former Toon player Elliot Anderson swung in a corner and Milenkovic woz on hand to bundle the baall ower the line! 4-2 to us!

The nerves were certainly janglin now and after several more near misses, wor visitors pulled another goal back in the 90th minute through Yates, who hit home after the baall rebounded off Schar!

4-3!---and with 3 minutes of stoppage time on the board the Toon fans whistled frantically for the final whistle az we watched on aghast <(we naa aall the big words!) az they had more chances to equalise!---THankfully the ref blew after 4 minutes of extra time, much to the relief of the crowd!---The win lifts us up to 5th position in the Premyaa Leegue table, from 8th

We did have a couple of chances near the end when sub Callum Wilson missed 2 golden chances to put the game beyond doubt and apart from that and Schar's post hit, it woz aall Forest in this half!

A tale of two Toon's!---yi'd better believe it!

Attendance: 52,223 (3,000 Friar Tucks) <Friar Tuck, Robin Hood, Maid Marion!---get it?)

*This woz the 2nd success in 2 days against a team from Nottinghamshire for The Geordie Times!--On Saturday we saw a Northern Premyaa Leegue (East) game, where Dunston beat Sherwood Colliery 2-1 at their groond next to Sherwood forest!

A match report on that game will appear here at the back end of the week!---Next we must concentrate on wor Premyaa Leegue game at Anfeeeld on Wedinzday, v Livaapoool!---An easy 3 points?---We wish!

THE TOON V THE FRIAR TUCK MOB *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘2:42pm bells 🔔’ Friday 21st February 2025

THE BAND STAND IN LEAZES PARK WITH SJP IN THE DISTANCE!

THIS IZ THE SITE OF THE PROPOSED NEW STADIUM!

We gan into this game reeelin from the heavy 4-0 defeat at Man City last Saturday, which sent us doon to 7th place in the Premyaa Leegue table!

But which NUFC team will torn up on Sunday we ask???

This season alone we played great futbaall at least 7 times and crap futbaall at least--er!--7 times!

The Toon have aalready beaten 'The Friar Tuck Mob of Nottingham' twice at their place in the Leegue and Leegue Cup, so it shud be an easy 3 points!? EH!?---(They have lost their last 2 away games at Fulim (2-1) and a 5-0 thrashin' at in form Bournemoooth!)---While we arnt exactleee good at home az we have lost wor last 2 games at SJP against the same 2 clubs that Forest have lost to (Bournemoooth 4-1 and Fulim 2-1!)

Joelinton, Botman and Lascelles are still 'crocked' and wont take any part in the game!

Az we type, Forest are still in 3rd place with 47 points, despite their drop in form, while NUFC sit 4 places below on 41 points, so a win would send us up one or two places and just 3 points behind Sunday's opponents!

Az we have a blank Saturday The Geordie Times will dee some m’mad-sad groondhoppin’ and coincidently,we are off to see 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston play Sherwood Colliery near Sherwood forest in a Northern Premyaa Leegue encoontaa in deepest Nottinghamshire tomorrow and maybeez (just maybeez!) we will bump into Robin Hood, Friar Tuck and Maid Marion in Sherwood forest???

" Sherwood Colliery are playing Dunston tomorrow Robin, so we might see hoards of Tynesiders in wor neck of the woods---Should be a canny game---Do you fancy gannin?"

A match report on both games will appear here ---eventually!

The Toon's game on Munday and Dunston's game later in the week!

Az per usual, "Watch this space!" 

Updated ‘Sunday mornin

Dunston won 2-1

Results from the Premyaa Leegue yesterday, meenz IF we beat Forest 🌳 today, we will gan up to 5th in the table! (a highly likely Champions League place!) We are currently 8th!

THE BLUE MOONIES 4. THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 Posted ‘high noon bells 🔔’ Sunday 16th February 2025

            ROW X OF THE LOWER TIER FOR          ‘X’ CERTIFICATE!🥶

“MORE ‘BLUES’ AT THE BLUE SIDE OF MANCHESTER!”

Yet again we failed to torn up at The Eteeehad and were well beaten by the current Premyaa Leegue champions!

TOON IN WOR MAROON AND BLUE CHANGE STRIP

We just didn’t play and before we knew it we were 3-0 doon after just 30 minutes from a hat-trick by their £60million January signin’ Omar Marmoush— The fact that Man City could buy in the transfor window and NUFC couldn’t iz an injustice to say the least!

THE CRANE IZ FOR THE STAND EXPANSION BEHIND THE FAR GOAL!

The big worry woz we would concede 6 or 7 but thankfully we went in just 3 behind at the half time break and wished it woz full time to put us out of wor misery! (It woz that one sided!)

The 2nd half woz nee better az ‘The Blue Moonies’ took their ‘foot off the gas’ az the 3 points were guaranteed!

One more goal near the end through McAtee saw hundreds of Toon (and City!) fans heed for the exits!—Another horror show from us, to gan with quite a few others this season!  

In complete contrast we have beaten The Arse 3 times and held both Livaapoool and Man City to commendable home draws—az well az beatin’ Sporz, high flyin Forest (twice!) and Moan U away this season!

A Jekyll and Hyde season for certain! 😳👹👇

We have now played at Man City’s new(ish!) abode 20 times in the Leegue and won NONE of them and lost 18 times! Plus we havvint even scored there for 7 seasons—a total of 10 HOURS withoot a goal!

Alang with Anfeeeld, (where we havvint won for 30 years!) this iz wor most jinxed groond!—and guess what? we must play Livaapoool in wor next away game!—just 3 weeks before the Wembley final against them!

Wor one solitary success at the Eteeehad came in the Leegue Cup many ‘blue moons’ ago (sic!)

Attendance: 52,000 (3,000 shell shocked Toon fans!)

Roll on to next Sunday for the Leegue game against Forest 🌳 at SJP —-and hopefully? a much better performance than that shambles yesterday!—But who knows with NUFC???🤔

Az mentioned above —-Mee seat woz in row X of the lower tier!

 (Row X for an ‘X’ certificate performance!) 😵‍💫

The pub crawl (Just 3)

VICTORIA TAP, MANCHESTER

TRACK, MANCHESTER

BARREL STORE, MANCHESTER

THE BLUE MOON v THE TOON *** SATURDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '7:00pm bells' Friday 14th February 2025

*NUFC gan into this game on the back of 2 successive cup wins v The Arse and Bormingham last week and are lookin for wor SEVENTH away win on the spin!—Which would equal the club record, set in 1994!

While Man City are reeling after their 3-2 defeat by Real Madrid at The Eeteeead Stadium on Wedinzday in The Champions Leegue play off 1st leg!🦵 

Az their form haz been a bit iffy lately, then surely there iz nee better time to play them, at what iz a jinx groond for us, with just one solitary win in 20 attempts! (1 in The Leegue Cup—NONE in The Premyaa Leegue!🥶)

On the injury front, Anthony Gordon and Dan Burn should be OK to start, while Sven Botman will miss oot! Harvey Barnes iz 50/50!

We are on the ‘8:00 🛎️s train in the mornin, which takes a torturous 4 hour diversion via mackemland, (shut the curtains!) and Monkey🐵Hangerland! (beware of the apes!) to get to Mancland! (The land of plenty of boozers!)

A full Geordie Times match and booze report will appear here sometime on Sunday!—Az per usual, “Watch this space!”

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