THE MERRY MEN OF SHERWOOD COLLIERY 1 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 2 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST DIVISION

 Posted '4:00pm bells' Tuezday 25th February 2025              

(Game played last Saturday)

THAT'S SHERWOOD FOREST IN THE BACKGROOND---         

"WHERE'S ROBIN HOOD AND HIZ MERRY MEN!?"

*With NUFC not playin til Sunday at SJP against Nottingham Forest aa decided to 'mad-sad groundhop' to deepest Nottinghamshire to watch The Dunston Bad Blue Boys play Sherwood Colliery, which iz in the heart of Sherwood Forest, where Robin Hood and hiz merry men lived many moons ago!

The Geordie Times antourage <(we naa aall the big words!) numberin ONE!(me!) travelled doon on the Dunston FC team bus, where the commitee sit at the front, the players sit at the back and the fans sit in the middle!

The M1 motorway woz shut just past the M18 torn off, so the driver of the team bus had nee choice but to divert up that motorway instead towards the A1M!

One wrang tornin off the A1 and we ended up gannin the lang way roond and instead of gettin to the groond at '1:00pm bells' az planned, we arrived nearly one hour later and made a mad dash to the clubhoose for some much needed liquid lubrications of the alcholic variety and shovelled a few pints🍺🍺🍺🍺doon, before the '3:00 bells' kick off!👇

The game kicked off with barely 100 spectators present, with Dunston comittee and fans makin up aboot 20% of the gate! (Thats 20 for yoo ignorammanious oot there!) 👇

A FEW OF THE LOYAL BAND OF DUNSTON ‘NE11’ FANS!

The huge Sherwood forest woz behind the far stand from us, but disappointingly there woz nee sign of Robin Hood or hiz merry men in the assembled 'crowd'? (mebeez they were off robin the rich to give to the poor!)              👇  

It woz a nightmare start for 'The Bad Blue Boys' (who played in aall RED!) az they went behind after just 4 minutes on the plastic pitch, when Xander Duhameau fired home a low shot from 20 yards oot, beatin Dan Lowson in the Dunston goal! 1-0 to The Merry Men of Sherwood! 

Sherwood are in a relegation place, while Dunston are in a play off place and az yi'd expect they came back to equalise in the 19th minute, when JJ O'Donnell heeded home from 20 yards oot, with the home keeper rooted to the spot! 1-1 

Thats the way it stayed til the break and to be honest it wasnt a very good game!----Another mad dash to the clubhoose for a gipsys kiss (there were nee 'tool sheds' (bogs) inside the groond!? (Never seen that before!) and of course a swift tonsil ticklin lubrication before the start of the 2nd half!

A FRAMED PICTURE SIGNED BY PETER BEARDSLEY IN THE TOOL SHED!

"I CERTAINLY DIDN'T EXPECT THAT IN THE SHERWOOD CLUBHOOSE!"

Az yi'd expect aa missed the forst 5 minutes of the restart az it took a while to get sorved, with the clubhoose packed with twice az many people in it, that were at the match? (Its an absolute disgrace that they didn't wait until I retorned to kick off the 2nd half!)😠

Thankfully, aa missed nee more goals when aa eventually got back to mee standin place in the groond, az 'The Bad Blue Boys in Red' attacked the left hand goal from where aa woz standin'!

The 2nd period woz a bit better and both teams 'even stevens' until the 67th minute when Dunston goalie Lowson punted the baall upfield, which saw Dale Pearson break free and cross to JJ O'Donnell!

He woz brought doon in the box by Sherwood's Smith and the ref pointed straight to the penalty spot!  O'Donnell took it himself and put the baall to the right of their keeper to put the 'Bad Blue/Red Boys'  2-1 up!

👇

The goal lifted Dunston az The Merry Men wornt so 'merry' now!

It ended 2-1 to Dunston who kept their play off place, while Sherwood are stuck in the relegation zone!

This woz mee 75th groond watchin' Dunston to reach the three qwaataaz of a century mark! (29 of which a'v seen The Toon play on az well!)

The jorney back to Tyneside woz uneventful (nee motorways closed and nee wrang torns by the driver, this time!) 

Official attendance 122

*

THE TOON 4 THE FRIAR TUCK MOB OF NOTTINGHAM 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 24th February 2025

1ST HALF---A DR JEKYLL PERFORMANCE!

🤪👍

"THE TALE OF TWO TOON'S!"

Yet another Jekyll and Hyde performance from The Toon, this time in each half of the same match!?

It started off badly in the 6th minute when Jacob Murphy lost possesion near the half way line to Hudson-Odoi who ran through to hit a shot into the corner of the net at The Leazes End past 'The Pope' in the NUFC goal!  0-1 to them!

However we recovered and laid seige to the Forest goal and Lewis Miley hit a fantastic shot from just inside the box in the 23rd minute to level things!

Just 2 minutes later we were 2-1 up when a Lewis Hall cross foond Murphy and after a mad scramble in the box he forced the baall ower the line with wot appeared to be hiz knee!

And then in the 33rd minute it woz 3-1 when Aina handled the baall in the box and after a very lenghty VAR check the penalty woz given!

Alexander the Great (Isak) took it and despite ex Toon goalie Matt Sels gettin a hand to it, it ended up in the roof of the net!

ALEXANDER THE GREAT'S PENALTY!

This crazy scorin sequence continued just one minute later when Isak when he curled the baall into the net for hiz 50th Toon goal! 4-1 at the break!---Surely there woz nee comeback from The Friar Tuck Mob???

2ND HALF---A MR HYDE PERFORMANCE!

🥶👎

But this IZ NUFC and completly the opposite happened in the 2nd period!  Fabian Schar hit the post orly in the half az we attacked the Leazes goal, but the baall boonced to safety!

This seemed to wake Forest up and THEY then laid seige to the Gallowgate goal and had several clear chances to reduced the deficit!

It finally came in the 64th minute when former Toon player Elliot Anderson swung in a corner and Milenkovic woz on hand to bundle the baall ower the line! 4-2 to us!

The nerves were certainly janglin now and after several more near misses, wor visitors pulled another goal back in the 90th minute through Yates, who hit home after the baall rebounded off Schar!

4-3!---and with 3 minutes of stoppage time on the board the Toon fans whistled frantically for the final whistle az we watched on aghast <(we naa aall the big words!) az they had more chances to equalise!---THankfully the ref blew after 4 minutes of extra time, much to the relief of the crowd!---The win lifts us up to 5th position in the Premyaa Leegue table, from 8th

We did have a couple of chances near the end when sub Callum Wilson missed 2 golden chances to put the game beyond doubt and apart from that and Schar's post hit, it woz aall Forest in this half!

A tale of two Toon's!---yi'd better believe it!

Attendance: 52,223 (3,000 Friar Tucks) <Friar Tuck, Robin Hood, Maid Marion!---get it?)

*This woz the 2nd success in 2 days against a team from Nottinghamshire for The Geordie Times!--On Saturday we saw a Northern Premyaa Leegue (East) game, where Dunston beat Sherwood Colliery 2-1 at their groond next to Sherwood forest!

A match report on that game will appear here at the back end of the week!---Next we must concentrate on wor Premyaa Leegue game at Anfeeeld on Wedinzday, v Livaapoool!---An easy 3 points?---We wish!

THE TOON V THE FRIAR TUCK MOB *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘2:42pm bells 🔔’ Friday 21st February 2025

THE BAND STAND IN LEAZES PARK WITH SJP IN THE DISTANCE!

THIS IZ THE SITE OF THE PROPOSED NEW STADIUM!

We gan into this game reeelin from the heavy 4-0 defeat at Man City last Saturday, which sent us doon to 7th place in the Premyaa Leegue table!

But which NUFC team will torn up on Sunday we ask???

This season alone we played great futbaall at least 7 times and crap futbaall at least--er!--7 times!

The Toon have aalready beaten 'The Friar Tuck Mob of Nottingham' twice at their place in the Leegue and Leegue Cup, so it shud be an easy 3 points!? EH!?---(They have lost their last 2 away games at Fulim (2-1) and a 5-0 thrashin' at in form Bournemoooth!)---While we arnt exactleee good at home az we have lost wor last 2 games at SJP against the same 2 clubs that Forest have lost to (Bournemoooth 4-1 and Fulim 2-1!)

Joelinton, Botman and Lascelles are still 'crocked' and wont take any part in the game!

Az we type, Forest are still in 3rd place with 47 points, despite their drop in form, while NUFC sit 4 places below on 41 points, so a win would send us up one or two places and just 3 points behind Sunday's opponents!

Az we have a blank Saturday The Geordie Times will dee some m’mad-sad groondhoppin’ and coincidently,we are off to see 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston play Sherwood Colliery near Sherwood forest in a Northern Premyaa Leegue encoontaa in deepest Nottinghamshire tomorrow and maybeez (just maybeez!) we will bump into Robin Hood, Friar Tuck and Maid Marion in Sherwood forest???

" Sherwood Colliery are playing Dunston tomorrow Robin, so we might see hoards of Tynesiders in wor neck of the woods---Should be a canny game---Do you fancy gannin?"

A match report on both games will appear here ---eventually!

The Toon's game on Munday and Dunston's game later in the week!

Az per usual, "Watch this space!" 

Updated ‘Sunday mornin

Dunston won 2-1

Results from the Premyaa Leegue yesterday, meenz IF we beat Forest 🌳 today, we will gan up to 5th in the table! (a highly likely Champions League place!) We are currently 8th!

THE BLUE MOONIES 4. THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 Posted ‘high noon bells 🔔’ Sunday 16th February 2025

            ROW X OF THE LOWER TIER FOR          ‘X’ CERTIFICATE!🥶

“MORE ‘BLUES’ AT THE BLUE SIDE OF MANCHESTER!”

Yet again we failed to torn up at The Eteeehad and were well beaten by the current Premyaa Leegue champions!

TOON IN WOR MAROON AND BLUE CHANGE STRIP

We just didn’t play and before we knew it we were 3-0 doon after just 30 minutes from a hat-trick by their £60million January signin’ Omar Marmoush— The fact that Man City could buy in the transfor window and NUFC couldn’t iz an injustice to say the least!

THE CRANE IZ FOR THE STAND EXPANSION BEHIND THE FAR GOAL!

The big worry woz we would concede 6 or 7 but thankfully we went in just 3 behind at the half time break and wished it woz full time to put us out of wor misery! (It woz that one sided!)

The 2nd half woz nee better az ‘The Blue Moonies’ took their ‘foot off the gas’ az the 3 points were guaranteed!

One more goal near the end through McAtee saw hundreds of Toon (and City!) fans heed for the exits!—Another horror show from us, to gan with quite a few others this season!  

In complete contrast we have beaten The Arse 3 times and held both Livaapoool and Man City to commendable home draws—az well az beatin’ Sporz, high flyin Forest (twice!) and Moan U away this season!

A Jekyll and Hyde season for certain! 😳👹👇

We have now played at Man City’s new(ish!) abode 20 times in the Leegue and won NONE of them and lost 18 times! Plus we havvint even scored there for 7 seasons—a total of 10 HOURS withoot a goal!

Alang with Anfeeeld, (where we havvint won for 30 years!) this iz wor most jinxed groond!—and guess what? we must play Livaapoool in wor next away game!—just 3 weeks before the Wembley final against them!

Wor one solitary success at the Eteeehad came in the Leegue Cup many ‘blue moons’ ago (sic!)

Attendance: 52,000 (3,000 shell shocked Toon fans!)

Roll on to next Sunday for the Leegue game against Forest 🌳 at SJP —-and hopefully? a much better performance than that shambles yesterday!—But who knows with NUFC???🤔

Az mentioned above —-Mee seat woz in row X of the lower tier!

 (Row X for an ‘X’ certificate performance!) 😵‍💫

The pub crawl (Just 3)

VICTORIA TAP, MANCHESTER

TRACK, MANCHESTER

BARREL STORE, MANCHESTER

THE BLUE MOON v THE TOON *** SATURDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '7:00pm bells' Friday 14th February 2025

*NUFC gan into this game on the back of 2 successive cup wins v The Arse and Bormingham last week and are lookin for wor SEVENTH away win on the spin!—Which would equal the club record, set in 1994!

While Man City are reeling after their 3-2 defeat by Real Madrid at The Eeteeead Stadium on Wedinzday in The Champions Leegue play off 1st leg!🦵 

Az their form haz been a bit iffy lately, then surely there iz nee better time to play them, at what iz a jinx groond for us, with just one solitary win in 20 attempts! (1 in The Leegue Cup—NONE in The Premyaa Leegue!🥶)

On the injury front, Anthony Gordon and Dan Burn should be OK to start, while Sven Botman will miss oot! Harvey Barnes iz 50/50!

We are on the ‘8:00 🛎️s train in the mornin, which takes a torturous 4 hour diversion via mackemland, (shut the curtains!) and Monkey🐵Hangerland! (beware of the apes!) to get to Mancland! (The land of plenty of boozers!)

A full Geordie Times match and booze report will appear here sometime on Sunday!—Az per usual, “Watch this space!”

*

HEATON STAN 1. DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 0 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA LEEGUE EAST DIVISION

 Posted ‘high noon 🔔 bells’ Thorzday 13th February 2025

STAN IN BLACK N WHITE STRIPES. DUNSTON IN AALL RED STRIP

“THE ‘HEAT’ IZ ON!”

This game woz played last Friday between The Stan and The Bad Blue Boys who’s groonds are 4 miles apart separated by the river Tyne! (Been SO busy with Toon stuff that aa havvint had time tih dee the match report til now!)

Dunston were flying high and Heaton were flying low in the Leegue table!

Played in absolutely freeezin conditions at Grounsell Park, High Heaton, in the east end of The Toon!---We had doubts wether the match would be on coz off the freezin conditions!

But! fear not!--- 'The HEAT woz on!' ("sic!")

A large crowd estimated by me to be in the high hundreds were in attendance for this ‘River Tyne derby’

Az you will probably naa if your a regular reeder of the daft website, I follow Dunston when NUFC arnt playin and this game woz sandwiched between wor Leegue Cup semi final win v The Arseholes and wor FA Cup win v Bormingham!

A’d been here before to watch NUFC U21s, but never to see Dunston, so as just had to gan!

It wasn’t a very good game and Stan won it in the dying moments of the 2nd half to the delight of their supporters in their fight against relegation, while this put a dent in Dunston’s play off hopes!

The sequence of events happened like this:

13th minute: Stan hit the post but the baall boonces to safety

19th minute: Big chance for The Bad Blue Boys (Playin in aall RED) but number 9 'Sado' misses the target!

The rest of the half woz mundane to say the least and the teams went in 0-0 at the half time interval!

48th minute: O'Donnell shoots for Dunston from inside the box but his shot iz saved by Brass in The Stan goal!

76th minute: Two huge blocks and a massive save from  in the visitors goal from Dan Lowson , keeps the score goalless!

78th minute: Another huge save from Lowson!

88th minute: Devitt hits the post for Dunston with a close range heeder! --still 0-0!

89th minute: Play swings to the other side of the pitch and Errington scores from close in to win the contest for Heaton Stan!---Tough on Dunston! 

The happy Stan fans sing: "We are stayin' up!---We are stayin' up!

AA NEVAA REALISED THAT DUNSTON HAD CHANGED THEIR NAME TO PONTEFRACT COLLIERIES?🤔

The attendance woz given az 513---looked aboot 800 to me!

Not a bad crowd, for a game played on a freeezin caad Friday neet with infequent rain comin’ doon!

PS: This woz me 74th different groond watchin’ The Dunston 'Bad Blue Boys'!🤪👍🏟

THE PRE MATCH PUB CRAWL!

THE JUNCTION, IN THE HAYMARKET, IN THE TOON

THE MILLSTONE, SOOTH GOSFORTH

THE VICTORY, SOOTH GOSFORTH

THE BRANDLING VILLA, SOOTH GOSFORTH

DEER IN THE DENE HIGH HEATON

NATIONAL LEEGUE CUP *** POSSIBLE NEW GROONDS FOR 'THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS'!?

 Posted '7:00pm bells' Wedinzday 12th February 2025 

THE RECREATION GROOND, ALDERSHOT ***                                                                            A FORMER FUTBAALL LEEGUE GROOND

The National Leegue Cup group stage haz now concluded!

NUFC U21s topped wor group and gan into the knockoot stage alang with Moan U U21s, Brightin U21s, Leedz U21s, Aldershot, Braintree, Altrincham and Sutton United!

The U21 teams cannit play each other, so that meeenz that we can anly play The National Leegue sides in the knockoot roonds at THEIR groonds!

We've been to Altrincham before (to watch wor resorves play Moan U resorves), but have NEVER been to Aldershot, Braintree or Sutton!

Neebody seemz to naa if the draw iz regionalised, OR what happens if AALL the U21 sides gan through to the semi-finals--OR even naa where the final itself will be played???

A total farce if yoo ask us, az attendances have been terrible!---With every one of the 3 National Leegue sides we have played v Tamworth, Boston and even the Tyne Bridge derby v Gatesheed attractin under 500 spectators!(386, 387 and 470 resptively=1,243 in total, for an poltry average gate of  just 414.33!)

GONE TO POT!

 Posted ‘high noon bells’ 🔔 Wedinzday 12th February 2025

WEMBLEY 2023---VIEW FROM MEE SEAT!---GET THE FLAGS OOT FOR THE LADS!

NUFC have been allocated just ower 32,000 tickets for the Leegue Cup final and will occupy the west end of the stadium az we did in 2023 v Moan U

The Liverbirds have the same allocation!

E mails were sent oot to fans who are in the forst 3 pots who can apply for tickets this week! (Season ticket holders anly!)

Pot 1 criteria: Wembley tickets are now on sale to season ticket holders who signed up for the cup schemes and have been to 5 of the 6 Leegue Cup ties we have played this season!

Pot 2: Tomorrow at ‘high noon bells’ 🔔 those who have been to 4 of the 6 ties!

Pot 3: 3 of the 6 on Friday etc etc!

Pots 4,5,6: Will gan into the ballot on Saturday!  ( Best of luck! )🤞 

THE ORIGINAL GEORDIE TIMES *** RIP MALLA! (LOST BUT NOT FORGOTTEN)

Reposted '6:00pm bells' Tuezday 11th February 2025               (1st published in 2011)

RIP MALLA🪦---THE ORIGINAL GEORDIE TIMES EDITOR!

THE GEORDIE TIMES (an explanation) (1st published in 2011)

< Many many moons ago a group of intrepid Geordies heeded for ‘The Smoke’ (London) in search of graft

They consisted of painters, decorators, plumbers, brickies and plonkies! and they based themsels in the Shepherds Bush and Hammersmith area’s of west London

One of their number, namely, ‘Malla’ (wheeze keys Clayton) had a ‘brainwave’ one day (or should that be ‘brainWARP’?) and decided tih de a twice fortnightly newspaper (as opposed to once a week!) aboot the ‘exploits’ of this incandesant clan (whatever that meeenz?) in cartoon form and caalled it ‘The Geordie Times’

NOT exactly in the ‘Auf Wiedersehen Pet!’ mould, of Jimmy Nail and Dennis, they were more like the, ‘Auf To ‘The Smoke’ Pet!’ ‘mould’ of Laurel and Hardy!

In total ten issues were published on a clapped oot photo copier and it carried on until they eventually got homesick and came back ‘yem’ to work and sadly this scurrilous publication ceased production.---

UNTIL!----

In 1995 aa decided to de a fanzine of the same name and two issues were published before ‘time was caalled’ as it was too much hassle sellin’ them and (more importantlee!) it wasted valuable drinkin’ time in the process!

HOWEVER!---

Aa was asked by Newcastle United programme editor, one ‘Jethro’ Tully to de the fan page in the match programme for season 2005-2006 which was caalled ‘FINK THE FAN’.

It was a great success but unfortunately because of ‘budget cuts’ the fan page was axed and replaced by a page of adverts!?

Many fans have commented just how much they liked and enjoyed the stories so a’ve decided to rezzarect ‘The Geordie Times’ for a thord time and publish mee aan away match reports from the past and the present, as in the programme

Frequency of  'The Geordie Times Online'
1: Visit to a new ground (compulsary!)
2: When sommik gans competleee wrang (quite often!)
3: When 'The Toon' win a 'major'? trophy (very rarely!)

At least ONE story per new groond will be included and as a’v been to ower 270 groonds to watch The Toon it will tek iz quite a lang time to ‘de them aall’ (Now 372 groonds in 2025)

<(Many many moons infact!)

No stone will be left untorned (I repeat!) No! stone! will be left untorned in our quest to give our huge and loyal reeedership the quality production that they dizorve (aall ten of you!)

(Now 500 plus per day on average)

‘The Geordie Times’ has been re-born yet again and the rest (as they say!) is historeeee!

Cheers!

©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!) 

We have just foond oot that Malla sadly died 2 weeks ago and he will be greatly missed by aall who knew him! 

RIP OLD MATE!🪦



---------------------------------------------------------------

"COME IN NUMBER 9!"

 Posted ‘7:00pm 🛎️bells’ Munday 10th February 2025

The draw for the FA Cup 5th roond tex place in just a few minutes on The ‘One Show’ on BBC1!

NUFC are baall number 9 and the best case synario iz a HOME draw against a lower Leegue side-- and the worst case synario iz an away game at Plymith, Brightin, Bournemooth, Exeter or yet anothaa London away day!

The anly place left where 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have never seen wor 1st team play iz Millwaall's New Den, although we HAVE seen wor youth team play there before!

Keep your fingers🤞 (and toes!🦶crossed for a game at SJP!

The Geordie Times will publish wor opponents az soon az we find oot in a few minutes time!

"Watch this space!👇---Watch this space!👇

NUFC ARE AT HOME TO BRIGHTIN!🤪👍🏁