371 the lamb ground, tamworth (u21s)

 Ground number 271 

Correction! 371 (Special thanx to ‘Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer’ for spottin my dillibrit mistayk!👏)

Date of First Visit: 5th November 2024

The Lamb Ground, Tamworth

Tamworth 1

Newcastle United U21s 1 (Donaldson)

Newcastle won 6-5 on penalties

National League Cup group ‘C’

Attendance: 387 (aboot 20 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers)

“THE LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER!” (Whey not exactly!) 🐑 

We travelled doon to Tamworth in a convoy of cars! (Whey not exactly!) 'Biffa the Beer' picked me up from wor hoose in his ‘jam jar’ with 'Glennn from Ashington' in the front passenger seat—We then drove to The White House in Chester-le-Street where ‘Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer’ woz waitin to pick us up in HIZ ‘jam jar’ (his turn to drive) and Biffa parked there ( ootside a hoose that’s painted white—very appropriate az the USA elections were on the same day!)

(Blondie lives in Langley Park (Where Sir Bobby Robson woz from) and it woz easier for him if we drove south and Chester iz a convenient place for a pick up!)

Anyway!—we arrived at The Lamb groond some 3 and a qwaataa hours later, parked up and heeded for the nearest boozer which woz a 10 minute walk from the groond caalled 'The Bole Bridge'!

After a few 'liquid lubrications it woz time to heed back to the groond---or more importantly 'THE TAMWORTH CLUBHOOSE!

More 'tonsil ticklin' woz done there and soon it woz time for the kick off!

Wor U21s torned oot in an aall white strip with green pipin, while Tamworth wore their red and black strip!

The groond looked a bit ramshackle apart from the smaall cantilever stand that we were in ---and would surely fail the groond gradin', shud they win promotion to the Futbaall Leegue, PLUS they wud need to rip up their artificial pitch and lay a grass one doon!

THE SMAALL CANTILEVER STAND, PRE MATCH (6 ROWS OF SEATS)

The crowd looked in the low hundreds and aa guessed that there were 400 there includin aboot 20 or so Toon diehards who had travelled from various places! (Includin the 4 of us from the north east!)

Az the game kicked off, anothaa 'Toonhopper' appeared caalled 'Secret Pigeon', who lives in Livaapool, but iz workin in the Birmingham area (He 'flew' to the game!)👇

We pounded the goal to wor right and had many chances to take the lead and aboot 9 or 10 corners az well, but couldn't make the breakthrough!  It woz a totally one sided forst half against wor National Leegue opponents, but somehow they held on til the break!

HT 0-0

The Telford Lambs (their nickname) made several changes for the 2nd period and were much better in this half and had a couple of good chances to take the lead!

However! it woz ‘us’ who took the lead in the 63rd minute when Josh Donaldson latched onto a Jay Turner-Cooke free kick and toe poked the baall into the net!

This resulted in a huge fireworks display from ootside the groond in celebration of the goal!

THE LOCALS CELEBRATE DONALDSON’S GOAL WITH A FIREWORKS 🎆 DISPLAY!

The display had obviously nothin’  to dee with it bein’ the annual 5th of Novembaa 'Guy Fawkes’ celebrations, but were from exiled Toon fans ootside! (Honest!)

If the score ended aall square there would be a penalty shootout at the end of the game for an extra point!—

And so!— (yiv guessed it!) they got an equaliser a few minutes before the end through Tshikuna ⬅️(Hope a’v sppelt that reet?) who hit a rocket shot past Aiden Harris  in the Toon goal, to send the game into a penalty shootout for the extra point!

Which went like this  az the Toon U21s took the first spot kick

1-0  Donaldson scored for U21s

1-0  Wallace missed goal by a mile for Tamworth!

1-0 Hunt’s shot saved by Tamworth goalie

1-1 Fletcher scores for Tamworth

2-1 Turner-Cooke scores for U21s

2-2 Creaney scores for Tamworth 

3-2 Donaldson scores for U21s

3-3 Tshikuna scores for Tamworth

4-3 Emerson scores for U21s

4-4 Digie scores for Tamworth

5-4 McAlister scores for U21s

5-5 Cockeril scores for Tamworth 

6-5 Sharar scores for U21s

6-5 Williams hits the bar for Tamworth!

NUFC U21s win 6-5 on penalties to claim the extra point!

Pleeeze note that they got the date wrang on the team sheet!

PS: Mee guess of a 400 crowd wozzint far off (387)

This 'crowd' woz 1,000 less than their average home gate and ower 3,000 less than they got for their 'giant killin' FA Cup defeat of Huddaazfeeld last week!---

Yet anothaa groond off the list az ‘yours truly’ edges ever closer to the 3 and 3 quarter century mark! 

“WE WOZ THERE!”- THE PROOF! 👇👇👇👇

Explanation for wor overseas reeeders!

Guy Fawkes tried to blow the Houses of Parliament up with gun powder in 1605 and woz hung, drawn and quartered for ‘high treason!’

GUY FAWKES

He woz arrested on the 5th of Novembaa 1605 and this date haz been celebrated ever since with 🔥 bonfires and fireworks 🧨 displays ever since!

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPER NEWS***NEW GROOND! ***NEW GROOND!

 *Posted ‘high noon bells 🔔’ Tuezday 🔥 5th of Novembaa 🔥 2024 🧨 

THE LAMB GROOND, TAMWORTH

‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ are on wor travels again—- this time to the Midlands, where wor U21s are takin on National Leegue Tamworth at their Lamb groond in The National Leegue Cup group stage tooneet!  A brand new grooond for the ‘Toonhoppers!’🤪👍🏁

The game kicks off at ‘7:45 🛎️s’ and it’s a tenner for big kids to get in and various lower prices for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

IF yih cannit make it the game will be live on National League TV for ‘The Toon Tellyhoppers’! 📺 

A Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow!

Az per usual!-“Watch this space!”

THE TOON 1. THE ARSE 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 *Posted ‘high noon 🔔bells’ Sunday 3rd Novembaa 2024

FOR ONCE I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE ARSEHOLES MANAGER, THAT THE BAALL WOZ DEFINATLY OOT OF PLAY WHEN GORDON CROSSED IT FOR ISAK’S GOAL!

“WHAT NOT! A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!”

“WE WILL REMEMBER THEM!”

Without doubt this woz wor best performance of the season az we matched wor visitors man for man!

For the 2nd time in 3 days we beat 1 of the so caalled ‘big 6 cartel’, havin knocked Chelseee oot of the Leegue Cup on Wedinzday at SJP!

A gutsy performance,where we fought for every baall and every one of the players who took part had a great game!

The anly goal of the game came in the 12th minute at The Gallowgate End when a pinpoint right footed cross from Anthony Gordon foond the heed of Alexander the Great (Isak) and he made nee misstayk az he sent a bullet heeder into the top corner of The Arse net, to send the crowd wild with delight!

Not lang after this Gordon sent a low cross across the box, but Joelinton couldn’t get on the end of it az he slid and stretched to try and make contact!

The Arse had chances az well, but couldn’t find the back of the net and we went in 1-0 up at the break!

Straight after the restart Gordon passed to Joe Willock but hiz shot woz saved by Rafa in the visitors goal at The Leazes End!—He then ‘skied’ a shot just after this az we tried to double the lead!

Isak aalso got in on the act in this period but his shot woz saved az well!

The Arse had a great chance to level things deep into stoppage time but he sent his heeder wide with the goal gapin’!

This woz a togetherness and spirited performance az the entire NUFC team were on the ‘same page’ once more!  

Two 1-0 wins ower Arteta’s side in 12 months!—BRILLIANT!-And nee whingin ‘baall oot’ controversy for wor goal, like last season from him!—-or woz there? (See very top photo!🤪👍🏁) 

Attendance: 52,249 (3,000 Arseholes)

THE TOON V THE ARSE *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 *Posted ‘7:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Friday 1st Novembaa 2024

We retorn to SJP 3 days after beatin’ Chelseee in the Leegue Cup and face The Arse in the 💩’12:30 🔔s’ slot for live telly!

Honestly I hate these orly kick offs az it completely fcuks up the pre match boozin session, with many drinkin dens open in’ at ‘9am 🛎️s’ for thorsty punters!🍺🍺🍺🍺

Anyway! After last seasons “woz it over the line” goal when we won 1-0 ,wor visitors from “norf Landan” will be oot for revenge for certain!

If we can play like we did against Chelseee, then we’ve got a great chance to beat them again!

Not sure wot the startin X1 will be, but hopefully they will aall be fit      (apart from Wilson, Botman and Targett of course!) and are raring to gan!

This iz wor last home game before Remembrance Sunday and another poppy display like last years (see above) will be displayed from The East Stand!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday!   “Watch this space!” (az per usual!)

THE TOON 2. THE CHELSEEE PENSIONERS 0 *** LEEGUE CUP 4th ROOND

 *Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Thorzday 31st Octobaa 2024

“MUCH BETTER!”

NUFC put in wor best display since we drew with Man City to progress to the qwaataa finals of the competition!

Chelseee fielded a completely different line to the team that beat us 2-1 in the Premyaa Leegue just 3 days orlier—-and paid the price!

Joelinton rattled the post at The Leazes End orly on az we went on the attack—‘aall guns blazin’!

We finally took the lead in the 23rd minute when Sandro Tonali foond ‘Alexander the Great’ (Isak) who hit a sweet shot past Jorgesen in the visitors goal!

The lead woz doubled 3 minutes later when a free kick taken by Lewis Hall foond Isak who crossed the baall to Joe Willock, who heeded goalwards.  Anly for Chelseee’z Disali to slice the baall into his own net, with Kelly bearin’ doon on him!

HT 2-0 to us!

If aa remember correctly Joelinton hit the post again, this time at The Gallowgate End in the second period and we held on for a much needed victory!✌️az The Pensioners (their original nickname) tried in vain to break doon wor defence with The Pope in the Toon goal makin some excellent saves!

We have now just lost one home game since last January— not bad for a team that hazzint been playin’ well!

The draw for the next roond woz watched on by anxious fans after the game in the Leazes End boozer, in fear of gettin’ one of the ‘big boys’ away in the next roond!

But there were loud cheers when we drew The Brentfaad Beez at SJP—wor 3rd home tie in a row!—in other words ‘The 🐝 beez kneez’ az the Cockneys would say!

Attendance: 51,934 (4,883 very loud Pensioners at the start of the game—just half that number of very quiet Pensioners, who had stayed til the bitter end!)

THE TOON V THE CHELSEEE PENSIONERS *** LEEGUE CUP 4th ROOND •••TOONEET!

 *Posted ‘high noon bells 🔔’ Wedinzday 30th Octobaa 2024

The Leazes End Stand

NUFC gan into tooneet game at SJP lookin to boonce back from the 2-1 defeat to Chelseee on Sunday in the Premyaa Leegue to try and progress to the 5th roond of the Leegue Cup against the same opponents!

Az we arnt playin well it won’t be an easy game for certain!

Anthony Gordon should retorn after missing the game on Sunday with a groin injury!

The latest Toon stats divvint make good reason’ with not one goal from 50 corners so far this season!—A shockin stat for certain!

Anyway! the game iz a complete selloot, although we arnt sure just how many tickets Chelseee have sold from their 4,800 allocation!?

Hopefully can play a lot better than the last couple of games and that we WILL be in the draw for the next roond come ‘10:30🔔s’ tooneet!? (After the Sporz v Man C game which kicks off at ‘8:15 🛎️s’)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Thorzday! 

Az per usual—-“Watch this space!”

MANSFEEELD V NUFC U21s *** EFL TROPHY GROUP H

 *Posted ‘4:00pm bells 🔔’ Tuezday 29th Octobaa 2024   Updated from 7:15 🛎️s onwards

In exactleee 3 hours time NUFC U21s play Mansfeeeld in the EFL Trophy for a place in the last 32 of the competition!

If yoo are gannin then you’d better hurry up az it will take aboot 3 hours to get there via the A1 and MI!

Alternatively yoo can watch it on Sky Sports + at ‘7:00 🔔s’

The Group H table looks like this after 2 games each

Top 2 qualify for the knockout stage!

Rotherham points 6

Braadfaad points 4

NUFC U21s points 2

Mansfeeeld nee points

PS: I am not gannin az I have been there before to watch wor forst team in the Leegue Cup many many 🌙 🌙🌙s ago!—But there will be a few NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers there who have never been! (Will watch it on the telly!)

Footnote: The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers rules are that if we have never been to a groond to watch us, then we MUST gan to tick it off wor list!—Compulsary to gan back if it’s a forst team game, but not  for a reserve team game!            (Rule 37B!)

Watch this space for the result at aboot ‘9:15pm 🛎️s’! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Updated*from 7:15 🛎️s onwards 

13th minute: goal to Mansfeeeld through Atkins-(shot) 1-0 to them!🥶

28th minute: goal to Mansfeeeld Quinn-(shot) 2-0 to them!🥶

HT 2-0 to them!

68th minute: goal to Mansfeeeld!

Nichols—(fine shot!—game ower!)

3-0 to them!

72nd minute: Attendance announced az 1,311 (72 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!)

*86th minute: Penalty to NUFC

Parkinson takes it but it’s easily saved by the Mansfeeeld keeper!

FT LOST 3-0! 💩  to gan to bottom place in the table!

Not wor day!—-And the result meenz that we cannit qualify for the knockoot stage!🥶

The Wembley dream iz ower! 💩

THE CHELSEEE PENSIONERS 2. THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2024-2025

 *Posted ‘2:22pm bells 🔔’ Munday 28th Octobaa 2024

“WOT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES!”

This time last year we were flyin high in The Champions Leegue havin beaten PSG 4-1 at SJP and not lang before that, hammering Sheff United 8-0 at their place!

Fast forward 12 months and we are a shadow of that team, havin not won for 5 games in the Premyaa Leegue and have slipped from 3rd place in September to 12th place today!

In other words the clocks went back yesterday—-and so did we!

It anly took Chelseee 2 minutes to open the scorin az they attacked The Shed End where the 3,000 Toon fans were situated when Cole Palmer fired home! BUT! after a lengthy VAR check it woz (thankfully!) ruled offside!

Some of wor defendin woz woeful, but we had a great chance to equalise (or so we thought) when Bruno woz hacked doon by Colwill just ootside the box— but incredibly ref Hooper waved ‘play on’ when the Chelseee defender should have been red carded!🥶

Just one minute after this wor hosts DID take the lead in the 18th when Neto sent a low cross in to the unmarked Jackson who shot past The Pope in the Toon goal!

Almiron then missed a great chance for us to level things, but inexplicably shot wide!

We DID however equalise in the 32nd minute when Lewis Hall foond Isak and he had the simple task to fire home from close in! Another lang VAR check followed, but this time the goal woz given! HT 1-1

It didn’t take The pensioners (their old nickname) lang to retake the lead when just 2 minutes after the restart when Lavia sent Cole Palmer through and he shot past Pope on the nearside post for their 2nd goal!

The Toon had 2 great chances to level things again, through Isak.

First a heeder from a Willock cross which woz easily saved and then at ‘the death’ Isak woz clean through and we looked certain to score az Joelinton woz unmarked, but Isak decided to shoot instead from a tight angle az Joelinton looked on in frustration!🥶 and wor last chance woz gone!

Yet another defeat at Stamford Bridge—one more to add to wor bogey groond total (Anfeeeld, The Eitiad and The Emerites to name the other 3)

In the Premyaa Leegue era, we have played here 36 times and won anly twice!—Nee wonder we hate the fcukin’ place!🥶

Attendance: 39,526 (3,000 unhappy Toon fans!)

*Pub crawl report in London***7

PRESIDENT HOTEL BAR

“A BRIDGE TOO FAR!”

*Posted ‘high noon bells 🔔’ Friday 25th Octobaa 2024

 

IF YOU ARE WONDERIN’ WHY WE CAALL THEM ‘THE PENSIONERS’ THEN LOOK AT THIS CHELSEE V NUFC PROGRAMME FROM 110 YEARS AGO IN 1914. NUFC WON 3-0 IN FRONT OF A 20,000 CROWD!

On Sunday at anothaa 💩 kick off time (2 🛎️ bells) we are off to Stamford Bridge to take on The Pensioners of Chelseee in a live telly game! (Sky +)

This iz yet anothaa bogey groond, where we havvint won for 12 years and have anly won 2 ooot of 35 visits in the Premyaa Leegue era!

We hear that Callum Wilson still isnt fit enough to play (when will he ever be?) but are hopeful that Lewis Miley will play some part!

We are on the train 🚂 to King’s Cross on Saturday afternooon and are stayin’ in a hotel in Russell Square at £80 each for a triple room! (£240 aall told!)

The retorn train fare iz £120 WITH 33% off on a Senior rail card and £24:50 for the match ticket! (Senior) So that’s ower £224 each before the tube 🚎fares, ‘desperate dan’ 🥘 (scran) and ‘liquid lubrications’ 🍺 are added on!—It certainly ain’t cheap to gan to London any more!🥶

A full Geordie Times match and boozer report will appear here sometime on Munday!

Az per usual “Watch this space!”

“OH ANTHONY GORDON!”

 *Posted ‘5:50pm bells 🔔’ Tuezday 22nd Octobaa 2024

News reaches The Geordie Times that Anthony Gordon haz signed a new extended contract!

He hazzint been in the form he woz last season, but every player gans through a bad patch and we can anly hope that he regains his sharpness!

This iz great news for most Toon fans, although some have their doubts!

Let’s hope he proves the doubters wrang!

Hiz reaction to signin’ the new contract: “I LOVE IT HERE!”