THE TOON 1 BOURNEMOOOTH 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 18th September 2022

A lack lustre display from NUFC yesterday and a disappointing result woz the outcome at SJP az an impeccable minutes silence for the Queen and a rendition of "God save the King" rang oot before kick off!

We just didn't get out of the blocks and the closest we came to scorin woz when Joelinton hit the post at The Gallowgate End and then a flurry of shots were saved by the Bournemoooth keeper to keep the score 0-0 at the half time break!

The unexpected breakthrough for wor visitors came in the 62nd minute when Billings flicked the baall past 'The Pope' in the Toon goal, to send the 1,155  Bournemoooth diehards high up in level 7 of The Leazes End into raptures!

A few minutes later a penalty appeal by Trippier for a hand baall, sent the ref to the VAR monitor and after a minutes review gave the penalty to the relief of the home crowd!

ISAK PREPARES TO TAKE THE PENALTY!

Isak took it and buried the baall to the right hand side of the Bournemoooth keeper for the equaliser!

Despite many more chances we couldn't find the winner and had to settle for the point!

We badly missed Saint Max and Callum Wilson who are both still injured! This woz without doubt wor worst performance of the season so far!--One to forget for certain!

Attendance: 52,238 (1,155 Bournemoooth fans!)

*FROM THE MATCH PROGRAMME

The Queen and Prince Phillip visit to SJP in 1997 when Sir John Hall woz chairman! *The same year az Prince ANDREW opened The Stadium of SSssshhh Yee Naa Wot!)

The Queen presents the FA Cup to Jimmy Scoular in 1955 at Wembley---NUFC beat Man City 3-1

THE TOON V BOURNEMOOOTH **** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted '2:09pm bells' Friday 16th September 2022

VIEW OF THE EAST STAND FROM THE LEAZES 'CORNER'

Followin' the cancellation of wor game at West 'am last week because of the Queen's death, we resume with a home game against Bournemoooth from the south coast----a 750 mile roond trip for the 1,155 diehards who are comin' to SJP for the 'unusual' '3:00 bells' kick off!---(The Premyaa Leegues langest trip)

Hopefully Saint Max, Callum Wilson and Bruno will feature after recoverin from injury, but we will soon find oot at '2:00 bells' tomorrow afternooon when the team line ups are annoonced!

A minute silence will precede the game followin by a rendition of "God save the KING!" and black armbands will be worn by both sets of players

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Sunday---sometime!   Az per usual "Watch this space!" 

TREATED WITH UTTER CONTEMPT!---YET AGAIN!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 14th September 2022

CRICKET FANS AND PLAYERS SING "GOD SAVE THE KING!" AT THE OVAL IN LONDON!--BUT WHY WERNT FUTBAALL FANS ALLOWED TO DEE THE SAME!???

News that both wor games in November v Sooothampton away and Chelseee at SJP have been moved for live telly reached 'The Geordie Times' last neet! (See article below)

But the real 'sickener' woz the news that wor game at Sporz, which had been moved for live telly on Saturday October 22nd from '3:00 bells' to '5:30 bells', will now be played on Sunday October 23rd at '4:30 pm bells'!!!!

When the original fixture change for the Sporz game woz annoonced, we booked trains and a hotel for the Saturday neet, az it would have been a mad dash to catch the last train from King's Cross with a late finish (approximately '7:30 bells' with stoppage time---last train '9ish' on a Saturday!)

We'd booked an orly train doon on the Saturday and a '2:00 bells' train back on the Sunday!-----Az the game now doesn't start til '4:30 bells' on the Sunday, we have had to 'bin' the retorn ticket (and try and get a refund?) and buy a new one for £50 for the '10:00pm bells' train back to Tyneside! (original retorn ticket £27)

To change the game once iz bad enough----but to change it yet again shows utter contempt for travellin Toon fans after wor game at West Ham woz cancelled last Sunday because of the Queen's death! (Trains and hotel refunds requested and thankfully granted!)

Wot got us aboot the West Ham game, woz the fact that on the day the game woz to be played (Sunday) there woz a cricket test match at The Oval a few miles away, which went aheed????   Aalso golf and both codes of rugby and The Great North Run, took place ower last weekend----but of course the futbaall MUST be cancelled, az lang sufferin fans try to claim refunds for unneeded train tickets and hotels!

It wud have been nice to show wor appreciation for the Queen last Sunday at the London Stadium, but this woz denied of course, thanx to the 'sweet' FA!

TELLY TIMES FOR NOVEMBER DUE!

 Posted from '1:11pm bells' onwards, Tuesday 13th September 2022

The telly times for November shud be published sometime today and yoo can rest assured that 'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo the news az soon az we find oot!

The fixtures that cud be changed (anly 2!) are Sooothampton away on bonfire day Saturday 5th November at '3:00 bells' and Chelseee P*ss Potters at SJP on Saturday 12th November at '3:00 bells'! (And then it's the World Cup in Qatar!)

Updates here! 🠋🠋🠋

Soothampton away now Sunday 6th November for live telly with a '2:00 bells' kick off (nee thought for Toon fans with this kick off time!)

Chelsea at SJP still Saturday 12th November but with a '5:30 bells' kick off for live telly

Sporz game moved for a 2nd time---now '4:30 bells' on Sunday 23rd October!!!!

Aall games on SKY

GEORDIE TIMES BREAKIN NEWS!---BOURNMOOOTH GAME ON!

 Posted 6:10pm bells' Munday 12th  September 2022

"MUD!--MUD!---GLORIOUS MUD!"

 Posted '4:49pm 🔔 bells' Saturday 10th September 2022

This iz brilliant!

"MUD' YOO BELEEEVE IT!?"

A Toon fan woz mortal drunk and fell in the Tyne near the Swing Bridge after the Palace game last month!

He woz swept doon the river to by the tide to the Ouseburn mudflats, where he managed to clamber oot from the thick mud, to the astonishment of passers by!!!🤪👍💩

Just in case yi cannit make oot wot they are sayin' we have reproduced this below!

Geordie version with Inglish translation in brackets: 

Passers By (PB) "Wots happened to yee?" (What's happened to you?)

MR MUD MAN (MMM) "Aa fell in the rivaa!" (I fell in the river)

PB "Haa yi?" (Have you?)

MMM  "Av had too much tih drink!" (I've had too much to drink)

PB "No way ha ha!" --"yi aall reet?" (No way ha ha--are you all right?)

MMM "Drank a bottle of whisky!" 

PB "Drank a bootle of whisky?" -- "keep away from him, maa!" (Drank a bottle of whisky?--Keep away from him, mother)

PB "F**kin' hell mate!" (F**king hell friend)

MMM "Aa luk a bit soaked---divvint aa? (I look a bit soaked---don't I?)

PB "AYE!"---f**kin' soaked (YES!---f**king soaked)

PB "Where?, have yih just come from, there? *meaning the mud flats (Where?, have you just come from, there?)

PB "Have yih been in there aall neet? (Have you been in there all night?)

MMM "Aa don't know if av been in there aall neet!" (I don't know if I've been in there all night)

PB "HA! HA!"---Where have yi just climbed from there, like?" (HA! HA! ---Where have you just climbed from there, have you?)

MMM "THE NORTH SEA!"

PB " Aaarr yi off yih nut, yee!" (Aaarr you are out of your mind,  you!)

 

 

JELLIED EELS GAME OFF!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 9th September 2022

Az expected wor game on Sunday at The London Stadium v 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham haz been postponed following the death of the Queen!

We can get wor train money back and hopefully the £200 for the hotel near King's Cross! (Triple room = £66.66 each!)

Or at least be able to rebook it for a future London game!

Updated: '6:37 pm bells'

The hotel haz moved wor bookin to when we play Sporz  in "norf Landan" at nee extra cost!🤪👍

THE QUEEN RIP!

*The Queen presents the FA Cup to NUFC captain Jimmy Scoular at Wembley in 1955*

   *NUFC 3  MAN CITY 1*

ONE RULE FOR US!---AND ANOTHAA RULE FOR THEM!

 Posted '1:11pm bells' Thorzday 8th September 2022

News that 'The M23 Derby' between Brightin and Cristil Palliss haz been postponed coz of a rail strike on Saturday 17th September reaches us!

There woz a train strike when  NUFC played at Brightin, but the game went aheed!

This forced us to travel on the Friday and come back on the Sunday!

One rule for 'us' and one **** *** ****!

AND TOON FANS RESPONSE ON TWITTER!

A PALLISS FAN'S RESPONSE!

On the othaa hand, Bournemoooth, which iz the furthest distance from The Toon, WILL travel to Tyneside on September 17th, despite the rail strike???

It don't make sense to us-----A 92 mile roond trip jorney postponed, yet a 750 mile roond trip gans aheed on the same day!????

ANFIELD AGGRO-COACHES CHARGED BY FA!

 Posted just after 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 7th September 2022

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' (one day late az usual!) that both coaches from LFC and NUFC have been charged with breaching rule E3 

ie: "The behaviour of Liverpool coach John Achterberg and Newcastle coach Dan Hodges in the 98th minute was improper and that the LFC coach also used abusive and insulting gestures" (see above!)

Both have until tomorrow to respond!