TRANNY ROVERS 1 THE TOON 2 *** LEEGUE CUP 2ND ROOND

 Posted '1:30pm 🔔 bells' Thorzday 25th August 2022

CHRIS WOOD HEEDS THE WINNIN' GOAL! 

(Geordie Times excluuusive!)

"TOON WIN THE BATTLE OF BIRKENHEED!"

A broken nose for Lascelles, a horrendous tackle on Darlow and Krafth stretchered off, woz the result of this brusin battle at Tranmere last neet az 'aall in wrestlin' woz the order of the day !

10 changes were made to wor startin line up from the Man City game and anly Joe Willock survivin' az we torned oot in wor dark blue and yellow change kit!

From the word 'go' we looked lethargic 🠈(we naa aall the big words!) with wayward passes and lost possession! 

We paid the price for that when Tranny took the lead in the 21st minute when a cross from wor left foond Nevitt and he shot past Darlow az wor keeper deflected the shot with hiz leg into the goal!

This awoke the 8,000 Tranny fans into life az Nevitt taunted The Toon fans behind the goal!

To add insult to injury Nevitt then smashed Lascelles in the mush and broke hiz nose and he received lang treatment !

We just couldnt get started until Krafth woz injured when a Tranmere player fell on him and after a 6 minute delay he woz stretchered off to be replaced by Trippier, which torned oot to be a key moment in the match!

He sent in a corner at the far end from us and Lascelles heeded it towards goal, it woz chested doon to Lascelles who poked the baall into the net for the equaliser!  Lascelles then had to be treated az blood woz pourin from hiz nose!

Darlow woz then fouled by an horrendous two footed tackle by Tranmere's Blackhouse----a sendin off for certain!---but NO! the ref pulled oot a yellow card instead and very luckily Darlow wosnt seriously injured with a broken leg!

We went in level at half time!

Chris Wood comleted the comeback with a heeded goal from a cross in the 52nd minute and The Geordie Times paparazzi camereman (me!) captured the moment hiz heed connected with the baall ! (See top photos)

More wrestling and some shirt pullin were captured by mee camera phone az the home side tried to kick us off the park! (Nee wonder Eddie sent oot a 2nd eleven at the start!)

TRANNY'S NUMBER 14 PULLS A TOON PLAYERS SHIRT

A CERTAIN PENALTY WHICH THE REF MISSED!

Forst team re-enforcements then came on in the shape of Botman, Joelinton and Bruno and we managed to haad on az the 4th official indicated 6 minutes of stoppage time!

Not a classic for certain, but we entered the hat for the 3rd roond draw and listened on mee Tranny Van's radio az we negotiated motorway closures for roadworks etc!----Palace at home came oot of the hat---which woz just az well az it took nearly 5 hours to get back to Tyneside because of the roadworks!----A 3 mile jorney from wor hoose to SJP iz much preferable to the 400 mile roond trip to Birkenheed! (Where Tranmere play) 

Attendance: 10,961 (2,200 Toon fans in 'The Cowshed End')

*Tranmere pub crawl (whey 2 drinkin' dens anyway!) 

CAN YOO SPOT THE HARTLEPOOL MONKEY?

2: ABOVE PHOTOS FROM THE TRANMERE 'FAN ZONE' BEER TENT

1: The Mersey Clipper----WOR FORST 'PORT O CALL'!

(Running total from 2 away games: 10 drinkin dens!)

TRANNY ROVERS V THE TOON **** LEEGUE CUP 2ND ROOND

 Posted from '1:30pm bells' onwards, Tuesday 23rd August 2022

The games are comin up thick n fast and tomorrow neet we heed to Birkenheed to take on Tranny in the Leegue Cup!

Prenton Park (or whatever its caalled now?) woz mee 100th groond watchin The Toon, way back in 1991 when we lost 3-2 in the old 2nd Division!

It will be very interestin to see just who we will play in this game, bearin in mind that most teams play their near 2nd elevens in this compitition!

Aall 2,200 away tickets have been sold!

Hopefully Steady Eddie will send a strong team so we can progress to the next roond!

We will soon find oot an hour before the '7:45 bells' kick off and this will be posted below az soon az we find oot! ⬇️

THE TOON 3 THE BLUE MOONIES 3 *** PREMYA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 22nd August 2022

TRIPPIER'S SPECTACULAR FREE KICK GOAL TO PUT NUFC 3-1 UP!

(Geordie Times excluuusive photo fro The Milburn Stand balcony)

Tripper iz number 2 nearest to the 'D' if yoo have good 👁 eye sight!

"THE NEW ENTERTAINERS!"

A breathtakin 6 goal thriller woz the outcome at SJP against the current champions of Ing-er-land---and for once it wasnt a hidin' for us az the game ended aall square!

This woz a great game to watch for the neutrals az Man City took the lead in the 6th minute at The Gallowgate End through Gundogan and it looked az though a cricket score might be on the cards az they pounded wor goal!

But The Toon are made of sterner stuff theeeze days and we fought back with goals from Miggy Almiron in the 28th minute and Callum Wilson in the 39th minute to send the SJP crowd wild with delight!

(Almiron's goals woz chalked off for offside, but woz finally given after a very lang VAR check showed that he woz ONSIDE!)

The 2nd half got even better for us az a Kieran Trippier free kick from the edge of the box woz porfectly executed and flew into the far corner of the net in the 54th minute to put NUFC 3-1 up---Unbelievable stuff! (See pix at top of page!)

And unlike previous seasons when we would have then 'parked the bus' with 11 men behind the baall, we actually tried to score a 4th goal!----'The New Entertainers' are in Toon!

The dream wasnt to last however and 2 goals in quick succession at The Leazes End for wor visitors through Haaland on the hour mark and Silva 4 mins later braught the game back to 3-3! 

Tripper woz red carded for a trip on De Bruyne, but woz owertorned to a yellow after VAR intervened! (That's TWO VAR decisions that went in wor favour for a change!) 

The Blue Moonies went for the winner and went close several times, but the NUFC defence held firm with goalie Nick Pope in great form!---A new era iz definatly upon us, that's for certain!

The draw leaves us in 6th position in the table----Last season on the same date we lost 2-0 at Villa and were in 19th place!

Attendance: 52,258 (3,000 Blue Moons!)

*

THE TOON V THE BLUE MOONS *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOONSSS

 Posted from '1:01pm bells' onwards, Friday 19th August 2022

SJP FROM 'THE JUNCTION BAR' NEXT TO 'THE HAYMARKET BUS STATION'

NUFC face wor biggest test of the season so far, when we take on current Premyaa Leegue champions Man City at SJP at '4:30 bells' on Sunday

It wont be easy az wor visitors are by far and away the best team in the leegue (and probably Europe!) and a draw iz the best outcome we can hope for! (me 'finks'?) Both us and City are the anly teams in the top flight not to concede a goal----yet!

We shall soon find oot of course, but if 'The Blue Moons' are on top form then there will anly be one winner---and it wont be 'us'! (We are still in the transition stage and it will be a while yet, til we can compete with them!)

Aall tickets were sold oot weeks ago and indeed wor next 5 games home and away are aall taken! (Man C(H), Tranmere(A), Wolves (A), Livaapool(A) and Palace(H). Tickets are now on sale for West Ham away and Bournemoooth at home and will both be sold oot soon, nee doubt!

NUFC have anly been beaten at home in the Prem once since Man City beat us in December last year! That's 11 games ago

(8 wins, 2 draws, 1 loss!)

Az we have a blank Saturday, a'm off to Bridlington for a bit of non leegue groundhoppin' tomorrow to see 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston' in an FA Cup qualifyin'  roond tie! (Match report of sorts on that---eventually!) 

Update Saturday mornin

'The Bad Blue Boys' won 3-0!

Meeenwhile, team news on the NUFC game will appear here an hour before kick off on Sunday, when the line ups are annoonced!

Az per usual---"Watch this space!" 🢃

*

IZ BRUCEY TRYIN' TO BEAT HIZ TOON RECORD?

 Posted '5:00pm bells' Thorzday 18th August 2022

"THE HONEYMOON PERIOD IZ OVER!"

West Brom's dire goalless draw v Cardiff last neet, meenz that they drop into the relegation zone in The Championship with nee wins in their forst 4 games!

The question IZ?   Iz 'Broken Nose Bruce' tryin' to beat hiz record at NUFC of nee wins in 8 leegue games from the start of a season? (He woz finally sacked after wor 3-2 defeat to Sporz last season!)

He iz halfway there aalready and the West Brom fans are not happy bunnies---ie: They thought he said that he'd get them oot of The Championship----He could well be reet on that score!!!

The commentator on mee truck radio said: "No game of football is boring----but this game has given me second thoughts!"

"USA AALL THE WAY!"

 Posted '1:50pm bells' Wedinzday 17th August 2022

MILE HIGH MAGS!

*In a survey, NUFC are the SIXTH best supported Premyaa Leegue club in the USA!  And 'The Geordie Times' can confirm that the USA are in 2nd place behind the UK for aall time pageviews, with a staggerin' 164 THOOOSAND 'hits' (164,000) and we thank each and everyone of yoo for loggin into this daft Toon website!

Below iz a list of the top countries to visit 'geordietimes.com'

*

SACRAMENTO MAGS!

*

DALLAS MAGS!

*

MIAMI MAGS!

*

NEW YORK CITY MAGS!

AND FROM THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING IN NEW YORK!

"TOON!--TOON!---BLACK N WHITE ARMY!"

CALENDER YEAR TABLE PUTS TOON IN A CHAMPIONS LEEGUE PLACE!

 Posted '1:39pm bells' Tuesday 16th August 2022

"THE TIMES THEY ARE AA CHANGIN'!"

In the 2021 calender year when 'Broken Nose Bruce' woz wor manager, NUFC finished 91st oot of the 92 Futbaall Leegue clubs, 

for results!

  

In the 2022 calender year (so far!) we are 4th in The Premyaa Leegue table for results, thanx to Steady Eddie's remarkable transformation of NUFC!

"THE TIMES CERTAINLY ARE AA CHANGIN'!"

NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN 0 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2022-2023

 Posted from 'high noon 🔔 bells' onwards, Sunday 14th August 2022 on the way back!

Match report on mobile telling bone!

"EVER DECREASING CIRCLES!"

Coz of the train strike on Saturday we were forced to change wor plans and travel doon on the Friday and stop in Leatherhead, just off the M25 motorway!

We got there (by train) at '9:00pm bells' and spent the next hour, walking roond in circles tryin to find wor Travel Lodge Hotel!

We passed it 3 times withoot realising az there woz just a smaall sign on the side of the buildin'!(We must get wor 'mincers' tested!) (Mincers=mince pies= 👀 !)

Anyway!--we dumped wor bags and heeded for local boozers, which were 'dead', before retiring for and good nights 😴 sleep!

Next day 'Sarnie Steve' picked us up in hiz 'jam jar'  (he woz working in Reading) and took us to Lewes where we were spending wor 2nd night away!(A 10 mins train ride to The Amex Stadium)(South West Trains wornt on strike!)

A few liquid lubrications later and it woz time to heed for the match! 

The temperature woz in mid 30s az the game kicked off!

The Toon were in wor 'one off!' 4th light blue strip az wor othaa 3 strips 'clashed' with Brightin's blue n white stripes!

It woz obvious from the 'off' that Brightin wanted the 3 points and they missed several good chances to take lead, but were thwarted by 'The Pope' in The Toon goal and Kieran Trippier who cleared a shot of the goal line!

NUFC simply couldnt get oot of 'the blocks' and struggled in the searin heat, az we attacked the far goal from us in the forst half!

Callum Wilson DID score a legitimate goal, but it woz chalked off for high kickin, even though he wozint close to a Brightin defender!?

Again in the 2nd period we struggled and just couldn't get gannin az the home side again missed some good chances to open the scorin!

We DID have a few chances near the end , but couldnt find the back of the net, and the game ended goalless!(Wor 1st goalless draw for 50 Prem games!)

PS: Cannit fink of any previous game where the temperature woz so high!

Attendance: 31,552 (3,100 Toon fans)

After the match we stayed behind to have a few liquid lubrications in the 'away' and then 'home' bars in the concourses, to let the queues for the trains back to Lewes  die doon!

We heeded for the train an hour after the end of the game, BUT there were still big queues for the trains back to Brightin and Lewes!  We had to queue for half an hour before boarding the train back to Lewes!

It's a nice stadium in the middle of nee where ! Hence wor name for them  'Nee Where Near Brightin'!

BRIGHTIN PUB CRAWL REPORT

LEATHERHEAD (Night before game)

001: THE EDMUND FYTNEY

 

002: THE PENNY BLACK

LEWES (Before game)

003: THE BREWERS ARMS

AMEX STADIUM (After game)

004: AWAY END BAR

005: HOME END BAR!

LEWES (After game)

006:THE VOLUNTEER 

007 RIGHTS OF MAN

008: JOHN HARVEY TAVERN

FOOTNOTE:

The 350 mile jorney yem in Sarnie Steve's 'jam jam' woz NOT uneventful!

Forst of aall we had to torn aroond on the outskirts of London, az we didnt want to enter the London emission zone coz Steve's car has a diesel engine (£100 fine for high emission vehicles!)---and then got stuck in a massive traffic jam on the notorious M25!---Then, when we needed to gan to a motorway service station for some scran and a 'gypsy's kiss', we got caught in another traffic jam inside the services!

Then there were 2 accidents on the A1M in north Yorkshire, which shut the motorway, so we had to divert via York and the A19!

We'd left Lewes at '10:15am bells', but didnt get back to Tyneside til '6:45pm bells'---a torturous jorney of 8 and a half hours coz of the train strike! (Even though there were trains runnin on Sunday, we hord that it would be chaos to get back az the trains would be in the wrang place, coz of the strike on Saturday!)  So back by road we came! (The 350 mile jorney torned oot to be nearer 400 coz of the diversions!)

THE JOYS OF FOLLOWIN' THE TOON AWAY!

NEE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN v THE TOON **** SATURDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 12th August 2022

Updated '2:00pm bells' Saturday

We heed for the south coast for wor forst Premyaa Leegue away game tomorrow (or shud that be six miles from the coast in the middle of nee where?) at The Amex Stadium in Falmer, which iz "nee where near Brightin" (hence wor name for them!)

A complete contract to wor city centre groond in 'NE 1' where we played and beat 'The Friar Tuck Mob of Nottingham' last Saturday!

With a train strike due on Saturday, we have nee choice but to gan the day before and come back the day after the game!

WE are basin' worsels in Lewes on the train line to the stadium and IF? nee trains are runnin at aall, we will have to catch a bus there instead! (wot a carry on!)

A full 'Geordie Times' match and boozer report will appear here sometime on Sunday on mee mobile 'tellin bone' on the way back!

Expect plenty of misstayks az its not easy to dee reports on a little phone, on the move!

Az per usual: "Watch this sspace!"     *

Updated '2:00pm bells' Saturday when we find team line ups! *below!