GAME ON!?

 Posted '11:00am bells' Thorsday 10th December 2020

A VIEW OF ST JAMES' PARK FROM SHERIFF HILL IN GATESHEED

THE CHEVIOT HILLS AND THE SCOTTISH BORDER 50 ODD MILES AWAY CAN BE SEEN AT THE TOP OF THE PICTURE!

It lookin increasinly certain that wor home game v The Baggie Troosers of West Brom will gan aheed az planned on Saturday, after several Toon players went dooon with 'the bat out of hell' virus!

It's therefore expected that quite a number of forst team players will be missin' and self isolatin' and that players from the U23s squad will have be drafted in!

Obviously this will weaken the team considerably, but WBA arnt exactly pullin' up any trees after their 5-1 home defeat last week v Cristil Pallis left them formly in the relegation zone!  They have won just once in 11 attempts (v bottom side Sheff United)

When things become clearer, we will let yoo naa straight away of course!

Az per usual "Watch this space!"

NUFC'S 'SELF INFLICTED' 'BAT OUT OF HELL' CRISIS, PUTS ANOTHAA GAME IN DOUBT!

 Posted 'midneet bells' Tuesday 8th December 2020

Updated '11:02am bells'Wedinzday

News that NUFCs Darsley Park trainin' groond at Benton iz still closed due to the coronavirus crisis, haz reached a new level az its been revealed that even more players and staff have tested positive!

The decision by the clubs hieracy to anly test players and staff once a week, instead of twice, like aall the othaa Premyaa Leegue clubs are dein', might come back to "bite us on the arse" IF we are left 'kickin wor heels', while the clubs aroond us in the table pick up points, to drag us forthaa doon the table! 

Followin' on from wor postponed game last week v Villa, wor home game v The Baggie Troosers of West Brom next Saturday iz now  aalso in serious doubt, due to wor failure to test twice a week!

 

Money---of course (to dee the 2nd tests) iz the real reason for anly one test per week, and we can anly blame one man (who admittedly, doesn't want to be here) and his scrooge like mentality for this---guess who that iz?

WE'RE GONNA WIN THE LEEGUE!

We will naa by this time tomorrow wethaa the WBA game can take place---and we will of course let yiz naa the outcome az soon az we find oot!---

"Az per usual, watch this space!"

PS: The Geordie Times pageviews have just passed the 499,000 mark and we expect to 'hit' the 'magical' half a million milestone in the next day or so!---Once again many thanx for loggin into this advort free NUFC fans website!

'11:00am bells':Breakin' news

NUFC team back in trainin' at Darsley Park, so hopefully WBA game will gan aheed?---or else we will have a fixture pile up!

Updated '11:02am bells' Wedinzday

Still nee news az to wethaa the WBA game will gan aheed, with just 3 days to kick off time! 

CROWDS ARE EVERYWHERE!---EXCEPT SELECTED FUTBAALL GROONDS!!

Posted '12:30am bells' Munday 7th December 2020 

ST. JAMES' PARK ***  52,000  ***  EMPTY SEATS!

"A "NO GO" AREA FOR TOON FANS!"

In this crazy world of coronavirus restrictions, it iz porfectly OK to gan shoppin' on crowded high streets in the UK in Tier 3 lockdoon, in the run up to Xmas! 

NORTHUMBERLAND STREET WOZ 'RAMMED' YESTERDAY 

(QWAATAA OF A MILE FROM SJP!)

YET AZ WELL AZ NUFC, NEARBY NON LEEGUE CLUBS LIKE NEWCASIL BENFIELD, GATESHEED, DUNSTON and HEATON STAN, CANNIT LET FANS IN EETHAA!

But any thoughts aboot gannin to major futbaall stadiums or pubs and restaurants in the same Tier 3 areas are "NO GO!"

Below are some shockin scenes of other 'Tier 3' crowded streets with ne social distancin' in place--at aall!

MANCHESTER YESTERDAY 120,000 Xmas shoppers!

.'THE THEATRE OF MUPPETS' AND 'THE EMPTYHAD'

"NO GO!"

NOTTINGHAM YESTERDAY (TIER 3)

THE CITY GROOND AND MEADOW LANE

"NO GO!"

 BORMINGHAM YESTERDAY (TIER 3) 150,000 Covid protesters and Xmas shoppers!

VILLA PARK, ST. ANDREWS and THE HAWTHORNS

"NO GO!"

*"WORDS FAIL US!"

*

"IT DOESN'T GET ANY MADDER THAN THIS FOLKS!

 Posted '6:41pm bells' Saturday 5th December 2020

"ARE THE LUNATICS RUNNIN' THE ASYLUM!?"

WHITLEY BAY RESORVES O-K!👍👍👍

WHITLEY BAY 1st TEAM K-O'D!👎👎👎

Whitley Bay Resorves were due to play at home today in The Northern Alliance, with spectators allowed in!

Unfortunately the game woz caalled off becoz of torrential rain!

Meeenwhile! when Whitley Bay's first team play at home, they can't let ANY fans in at the same groond, az the play in The Northern Leegue, which iz a higher leegue!

 A Dunston player says that he watched a game today az a spectator (Newcasil Blue Star--Northern Alliance) az he is unable to play, coz Dunston can't let fans in eethaa!--Az---(wait for it!)--- they play in a higher leegue (Northern Premyaa)

HOW MAD IZ THIS????

Does the 'bat out of hell' virus know who's playin', like???

PS: I planned to gan to Gatesheed Redheugh today (Northern Alliance) to get mee 'fix', but that game woz caalled off coz of a waaterlogged pitch!

PPS: The Geordie Times iz fast approachin' HALF A MILLION pageviews (498,000 last coont)

Thank yoo aall for viewin' this 'advort free' NUFC fan website!

WE'RE OOT OF LOCKDOON BUT IT'S STILL A LOCKOOT!

 Posted '2:15pm bells' Friday 4th December 2020

EMPTY SEATS JUST BEFORE THE START OF CHELSKI GAME AT ST. JAMES' PARK!

It's great isn't it?  We come oot of a month's lockdoon with nee futbaall to gan tee--and nee pubs open--TO!---nee futbaall to gan tee---and nee pubs open!

Tier 3 in the north east meenz that all pubs must stay shut and nee spectators are allowed in St James' Park, Dunston, Gatesheed, etc etc etc! 

The non Leegue clubs in The Northern Premier Leegue and The Northern Leegue have aall voted to abandon the season forthwith az there iz nee point carryin' on, az fans are the lifeblood of these leegues and without them, nee money is comin in, so they will gan bust if they play in front of empty groonds! (and clubhooses!) (steps 3 to 6 in the pyramid)

(HOWEVER!---we have just foond oot that The Northern Alliance, have been given permission for games to resume and for fans to be admitted!-(step 7 in the pyramid)---a little bit of good news! (Be warned though---quite a few games are likely to be postponed becoz of the inclement wethaa forecast for tomorrow!)

Eldon Square is rammed az we speak, as iz The Metro Centre with nee social distancing at aall--yet 2,000 fans arn't allowed into SJP half a mile from Eldon Square and 200 arn't allowed at Dunston, half a mile from The Metro Centre!

SOCIAL DISTANCING AT A JD SPORTS SHOP!

Pure madness if you ask us and totally unfair!

Even if we get into tier 2 in a fortneets time, anly pubs that serve substantial meals can open, while those who just serve beer can't!

And as for gettin one of the precious 2,000 tickets for an NUFC game---whey!, corporates will be first in the queue anyway! 

Just look wot Chelski have done for their loyal fans!---

And PLEEEZE!---divvint tell 'The Fat Controller'!

"Its gannin to be a lang hard winter for sure!"

"THERE MAY BE TROUBLE AHEAD!"

 Posted '3:10pm bells' Thorsday 3rd December 2020 at Woolley Edge truck park M1 south 

NUFC OWNERS OFFICE!

News that more NUFC players have tested positive for the 'bat out of hell' virus reaches us!

There are now more than 10 infected and some played at Palliss last Friday---meanin that az well az wor game at Villa bein cancelled, Cristil Palliss'z game away to West Brom on Sunday iz aalso in doubt az Palliss players could be infected az well!

*The Fat Controller's scrooge mentality, not to pay for the twice weekly tests for players and staff, could have catastrophic implications!

BAT OUT OF HELL LATEST!*** ViLLA GAME OFF!!!

 Posted '3:13pm bells Tuesday 1st December 2020

Updated '5:55pm bells'

News reaches The Geordie Times that up to TEN Toon players and staff could have been struck doon with the 'Bat out of hell' virus!

Because of this, wor game v The Hazbeenz and Villians on Friday neet haz been caalled off and a new date will have to be foond!

We will keep yoo posted on any forthaa news!

We do of course wish aall the players and staff affected a very speedy recovery!

Az per usual, "Watch this space!"

Ps: Wor home game v The Baggie Troosers of West Brom a week on Saturday iz in doubt az well!

THE FA CUP 3rd ROOND DRAW HAZ PAIRED US WITH THE ARSE AWAY!---"WE GOT OOT OF JAIL!"

 Posted '7:19pm bells' Munday 30th November 2020

CATWEASEL WATCHES THE DRAW LIVE ON HIZ 'TELLING BONE'!

"OH NO!---NOT MARINE!---PLEEEZE!"

The FA Cup draw, haz not been kind to us az we were drawn against current FA Cup holders, The Arse at The Emirates Stadium, but at least we have avoided Marine or Canvey Island or Boreham Wood or Chorley! (Amazingly we have seen an NUFC team at both Boreham Wood and Chorley!)

When that 'man or a woman', we luv to hate, Robbie Savage drew Marine at home, I half expected him to draw NUFC az the away team!

Marine got Sporz instead---thank God!

It aalso meenz that mee own personal home record for competitive games iz intact!(for the time bein' at least!)

The last team to play at SJP who a'v never seen woz Bedford Town in the FA Cup way back in 1963! (We lost 2-1!!!)

 A'v seen every team we have played since then (although NOT every competitive game (obviously!)

"PRAIZE THE LORD!"🙏

PS: A'm now gannin to count up the teams I have seen at home from that date! ---Aa havvint got a clue how many that iz?  (It might take a bit of time--like!) 

FA CUP THORD ROOND DRAW TOONEET! *** NUFC FIXTURES FOR DECEMBER UPDATED

 Posted '2:09pm bells' Munday 30th November 2020

110 YEARS AGO NUFC WON THE FA CUP FOR THE FORST TIME! 

The FA Cup draw takes place at '7:00 bells' tooneet on BBC1---or shud I say it will take place after several minutes of taakin to former winners and the minnow teams who are left in! ---So thats aboot '7:10 to '7:15 bells' before whoever's doing it, starts to pick the baalls oot of the bowl!

NUFC are number 27 and there are a 'minefield' of teams to miss, who we wont mention, az this might put a curse on it!

WE WILL OF COURSE TELL YOO JUST WHO WE ARE PLAYIN'---AND WHERE, AZ SOON AZ WE FIND OOT!

Wor fixtures for December have aall been conformed---and they are:

(Aall games are on the telly/laptop/mobile tellin bone!)

Friday 4th The Hazbeenz and Villains away '8:00 bells' Sky

Saturday 12th The Baggie Troosers of WestBrom home

 '3:00 bells' Sky

Wedinzday 16th Leeedz away '6:00 bells' Prime

Saturday 19th Fulim home '8:00 bells' Sky

Tuesday 22nd Brentfaad away (LC QF) '5:30 bells' Sky

Saturday 26th The Blue Moonies away '8:00 bells' BT

Wedinzday 30th The Liverbirds home '8:00 bells' Prime 

*In othaa news: It haz been reported that several NUFC players and staff have caught the dreaded 'bat out of hell' virus---we will keep yoo, wor loyal subjects, informed of any future developments!

PS>There iz nee mention on NUFCs official site aboot the outbreak?

Az per usual, "Watch this space, for news of this and the FA Cup draw!"

CRISTIL PALLISS 0 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2020-2021

 Posted from '6:00pm bells' onwards Friday 27th November 2020

VIEW FROM THE AWAY END AT SELHURST PARK WHEN 

WE COULD ACTUALLY GAN TO GAMES!

'7:05 bells' Toon team

We hear that Hayden haz got covid!

Periodic updates from kick off time onwards!

LITTLE TED AND BIG TED WATCH ON AZ THE GAME KICKS OFF!

JOELINTON SKIES A SHOT ORLY ON!😱

(Toon in aall yellow)

19th minute

Joelinton has a weak shot on target!

IT'S HALFWAY THROUGH THE 1ST HALF    

TIME FOR SOME LIQUID REFRESHMENT!

40th minute

Lewis weak shot on target!

42nd minute

Joelinton shot on target from misstayk by a Palliss defender!

Should have scored!

HT 0-0

TOON HAD 3 SHOTS ON TARGET!

Possession 57% to 43% Palliss

1st half summery:"ZZZzzz!!!"

Little ted takes up a great vantage point for the start of the 2nd half!

The hour mark

Nee forthaa shot on target from NUFC

66th minute

Wilson heeder went wide

Hiz first effort on goal!

70th minute

Joelinton heeder well Wide

Broken Nose Bruce iz furious!

78minute

Ritchie shot from free kick

1st shot on target in 2nd half!

GOAL!

86th minute

Callum Wilson from through baall 

from  Joelinton 

1-0 to NUFC!

WILSON GOAL!

GOAL!

89th minute

Joelinton shot which took a deflection of a Palliss defender!

2-0 to NUFC!

JOELINTON GOAL! (Number 9)

92nd minute

Shelvey shot on goal from free kick

93rd minute

Ref blows for full time!

A very unexpected win!

I will gladly eat humble pie tomorrow!

STATS

Up to 10th---Above Man City, Moan U and The Arse! (for now!)

Possession 43%

Shots on target 7 (the most this season!)

Geordie Times comment:

Don't lets get carried away!  Palliss were p*ss poor!

And we didnt spring to life til the last 5 minutes with the 2 goals!

The win iz a very welcome suprize and takes us 10 points clear of the drop zone! 

Indeed, we are anly 4 points off a Champions Leegue place! 

(for a few hours at least!)

Official laptophoppers attendance: 3!

Little ted, big ted and me!

The UP-DOON rollercoaster ride continues unabated!