THE ARSE v THE TOON **** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted '12:36pm bells' Friday 14th February 2020

"DENNIS THE MENACE!"

On Sunday we heed to The Smoke (London) for wor annual visit to The Emirates Stadium and we are hopin (against hope!) that we can stop a run of SEVEN consecutive defeats at this venue!
We sold aall available tickets weeks ago!

The NUFC team news iz that Danny Rose and Valentino Lazaro are expected to play, but strikers Andy Carroll and Dwight Gayle are both still 'crocked' and will miss oot!
Joelinton and Muto are in contention to start though!

The bad news iz that 'Storm Dennis' iz expected to reek havoc throughoot the weekend, following in the footpath of 'Storm Ciara' orlier this week! (and don't we know aboot 'Storm Ciara'---(see groond 347(NOT) match report from Munday!)
Wor train iz due to leave at 8:56 from 'The Central' (station) and we have been told that it could take up to 6 hours to get to KX (King's Cross, London)----Lets hope not, or will will have to gan straight to the groond---and miss oot on the pre match 'gargels'!!!

Both Grandson's Jamie (10) and Zac (9) will be gannin to London for the forst ever time, and az coincidence will have it, Arsenal woz aalso my forst ever visit to the capital 52 years ago, when we got a 0-0 draw at their old Highbury home---which iz half a mile from The Emirates Stadium
(An archive match report on that game in 1968 iz printed below)

In othaa news, wor U23s are in action at SJP tooneet when we take on the SMBs U23s in Premyaa Leegue 2 derby----The East Stand will be open for the '7:00 bells' start!

And then tomorrow, it's a trip to Dunston once again, for wor Saturday 'fix', where 'The Bad Blue Boys' are in action against Prescott Cables from Liverpoool in a North West Coonties fixture! (Provided 'Dennis the Menace' doesn't blow the game into touch!)

Match reports on aall the above games will appear here in due course----Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

347 (NOT!) WBA TRAININ' GROOND, GREAT BARR, near WAALSAALL

Ground number 277 revisited (unintentionally)
Date of unplanned Visit: 10th February 2020
WBA trainin groond, Great Barr near Waalsaall

West Brom U23s 0
NUFC U23s 1 (Allan)

FA Premyaa Leegue cup

Attendance: 46 hardy souls includin 9 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!🌞⛄☂

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE---1st HALF

2nd HALF!

"20-20 VISION!" (Heavy snow and hail the 1st half----Bright sunshine the 2nd half!)

The day started off at '8:30 bells' when 'Sarnie Steve' picked me up from wor hoose and off we set for HEDNESFORD where wor U23s were taking on West Brom U23s in a Premyaa Leegue Cup tie!

It woz a brand new groond for the 'hoppers' and then the 'bombshell' hit half way to wor destination in Staffordshire!

'Glennn from Ashington' phoned and said, "Have yoo hord the news?"   Now several things went through mee heed, like, game iz off OR kick off time haz been put back to a neet time start!
"Howway then!", aa said in trepidation, "whats the news?"

"The game's been moved to the West Brom trainin groond!", he replied, az aa nearly dropped the phone on the car mat!

Az the weathaa doon those parts woz bad with gale force winds, heavy rain and snow----and az we'd been to their trainin groond many years before and knew that it had NEE cover at aall---plus games there were normally 'behind closed doors'--we would have done a 'U' torn back up the M1 and put it doon to 'a bad day at the office'!

However!---and to put a massive spanner into the works, 'Sarnie Steve' couldnt gan back az he woz on hiz way to Reading in Berkshire after the game for work, plus wor train tickets back from Bormingham New Street station woz at '6:30 bells'. (ie: we had nee choice but to carry on!)
And--it woz a waste of time getting dropped off at a nearby station anyway, az we would have had to wait for hours to catch wor designated train yem ('We' bein' me and 'Biffa the Beer'!) 

Anyway, we 'phoned a friend' at NUFC to see if they would let us into the trainin groond---and the reply back woz "YES!", provided we supplied the names of those who would be there!

A 'BEACON' OF LIGHT!----'LIGHT ALE', THAT IZ!

We arrived some 2 hours before kick off and heeded for 'The Beacon' boozer, just alang the road from the groond, for a much neeeded 3 pints of John Smiths ale, before heedin to the entrance!

A steward woz stoppin people from gannin in, includin a few of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' and we showed him the phone with a list of 7 names on it!  He coonted 8 of us but let us aall in anyway! (1 more managed to 'sneak in', meenin that there were 9 mad-sad groundhoppers in attendance!

"WISH A'D BROUGHT MEE BROLLY!"

The weathaa had been 'kind' to us up til this stage, but then hit us with a vengeance az heavy rain enveloped the trainin complex!There were some trees at the back and we tried to shelter underneath them, az the game kicked off with wor U23s wearin their 'orangemen' change strip!

DAVE FROM YORK TRIES TO SHELTER UNDERNEATH A TREE!

NO!--HE HAZN'T GOT QUADRUPLE DANDRUFF!
(How the hell could he see, az hiz specs are covered in 'white stuff'!)

However the tree shelter woz anything but, az the rain soaked us---but much worse woz to follow az hailstones movin' sideways hit us and the players in the face and we had to torn wor backs to stop the hail gannin into wor eyes!
Anyway!---The Toon took the lead in the 16th minute through Tom Allan who had a simple tap in from a Ross Longelo through baall across the box to muted applause from 'the faithful 9'!

And then after the hail, heavy snow came doon and before lang mee trainers were soaken through and thick of clarts (mud) off the grass bank which ran alang the length of the pitch---and aa woz drenched to the skin az well!, despite wearin a waaterproof jacket! (It woz obviously not 'hail or snow proof'!

The hail started again and for a moment aa thought that the ref woz gannin to abandon the game, but he decided to carry on and we got to half time one-nil to the good-and a good soakin' az well of course!

The 2nd half woz in complete contrast to the 1st, az the snow and hail stopped to be replaced by bright sunshine where we had to shelter wor eyes from the glaze of the sun this time, and not the hail of the forst half! ('20-20 vision for certain!) (see photos!)

The game ended with a one-nil victory (and a penalty miss by Tom Allan) to put us up to 2nd in the group table!---With the POSSIBILITY of playin West Brom again in the next stage---at HEDNESFORD this time! (hopefully) 
After the game 'Sarnie Steve' dropped us off at Waalsaall station, where we caught a train to Bormingham for a few liquid lubrications before catchin the '6:30 bells' Cross Country train back to Tyneside!

'THE WELLY' near BORMINGHAM STATION

Woz it worth it? YES! for the victory, but NO for a trainin ground with nee cover!

A RATHER WET TEAMSHEET!

WHICH WOZ IN MEE INSIDE COAT POCKET!

A USELESS TRAIN TICKET!

*PS: Foond oot next day why game woz moved from Hednesford to WBA trainin ground!-----Storm Ciara threatened the game at Hednesford, so it woz moved at the last minute to make sure game woz played! 
"BLOODY WOMEN!"
("A message to wor lass---anly jokin' pet!---Anly jokin'!")

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS NEWS*** NEW GROOND!***NEW GROOND!

Posted '8:00am bells' Munday 10th February 2020

KEYS PARK, HEDNESFORD

We are off on wor travels again this mornin' at '8:30 bells', az we heed to Hednesford in Staffordshire, where NUFC U23s are takin on West Brom U23s in a Premyaa Leegue Cup tie at '2:00 bells' this afternoon at Keys Park---the home of non leegue Hednesford Toon FC and West Brom's resorves groond

The bad news when aa got up woz a message on mee 'telling bone' that said wor train from Hednesford to Bormingham New Street station haz been cancelled because of severe weathaa conditions in the area from Storm Ciara!

Up til now the game iz still ON, but the above news haz put us on the 'backfoot' and we will check on the way doon IF it's to be played? ('U' turns at the ready!)

We're gannin doon in Sarnie Steve's car and then he haz got to gan to Reading for work after the game, so we (Me, Biffa the Beer and Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer) must get 2 trains back (hopefully!)

The Geordie Times will keep yoo informed of forthaa developments az they happen----meeenwhile keep 'tuned' for a match report back on the train(s) (If they are runnin!)

BAD BLUE BOYS 1 MOSSLEY 1 *** NORTHERN PREMYAA, NORTH WEST DIVISION

Posted '11:15am bells' Sunday 9th February 2020

THE BAD BLUE BOYS ATTACK THE GOAL AT

'THE TEAHUT END'!

With nee NUFC game this weekend because of the so called 'Winter Break', we heeded for wor Saturday 'fix' at Dunston, where 'The Bad Blue Boys' were takin on Mossley F.C. who hail from Greater Manchester (near Oldham) 
Az usual we heeded for the Dunston clubhoose before the game, and it woz packed with both sets of fans!

The game kicked off and straight away Mossley 'went for goal' az they attacked 'The Teahut End' and they took the lead in the 13th minute through Halfacre who had 'acres' of space to fire in a raspin' shot to send their 40 or so travellin fans wild with delight!

BY AMAZING COINCIDENCE BOTH HOME AND AWAY FANS

DISPLAYED 'POPPY BANNERS'

Dunston did have chances themsels, but couldn't break doon a resilient defence and we heeded back to the clubhoose for the 'customary' half time 'gargels' one goal doon!

The noisy Mossley fans sang songs az the Bad Blue Boys fans told them to "Shut up!"---they didn't, although it woz good natured fun and not hostile!

LOOKIN TOWARDS THE TOMMY COONEY STAND

The 2nd half woz a bit better for Dunston and the eventually they equalised through  Craig Scott with a great heeder, after a pinpoint cross from ?? in the 79th minute! (Can't remember who crossed the baall!??)
There woz nee more scorin and in the end 1-1 woz a fair result!
We heeded for 'The Royal' and 'Tudor Rose' just doon the road after the game for some more 'garglin' practice! (az yih dee!)

WE WOZ THERE!

TEAMSHEET AND RIPPED MATCH TICKET!

Attendance: 302 (40 noisy Mossley fans!)

THE BAD BLUE BOYS v MOSSLEY *** THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:27pm bells' Saturday 8th February 2020

Az NUFC are off on their 'winter break' this week, we need to get wor 'Saturday 'fix' and are heedin' to Dunston (2 miles from The Toon), where 'The Bad Blue Boys' (Dunston) are takin on Mossley in a North West Coonties Leegue fixture!

It iz a very windy day on Tyneside, which invariably spoils the game, but we will take 'shelter' in the cluhoose, before, at half time and full time, for the customary 'liquid lubrications'!🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺

A Geordie Times match report on the game will appear here, eethaa tooneet or tomorrow mornin'!

Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

NEE 'WINTER BREAK' FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Friday 7th February 2020

KEYS PARK, HEDNESFORD!

AALTOGETHER NOW!---"WEAZE KEYS ARE THEAZE?"

While wor forst team squad are havin a so caalled 'winter break' rest from the Premyaa Leegue fixtures, the NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers will get nee such rest az we need to get wor fixes at the weekend and next week az well!

Several of the 'hoppers' are off to Jockland on Saturday to watch games at Stranraer v Raith Rovers in the Scottish Leegue and Dalbeattie Star v Kelty Hearts in the Lowland Leegue!

While your truly iz on a short trip to mee fave non leegue club, 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston v Mossley in the North West Coonties Leegue!

And then on Munday wor U23s are in action at Hednesford Toon FC, where we are takin' on West Brom U23s in a Premyaa Leegue Cup fixture!
A groond we have never been tee of course, and so 'off we gan' on Munday morning for the '2:00 bells' afternoon kick off in the Midlands!

Next Friday its an U23s derby at SJP when we take on the SMBs U23s, so its 'all go' for The NUFC hoppers in the next week!

PS: A match report on the game at Hednesford will appear here next Tuesday

PPS: Wor away FA Cup 5th roond game v 'The Baggie Troosers' of West Brom will take place on Tuesday 3rd March at '8:00 bells'
NUFC have been given the whole of The Smethwick End and have been allocated 4,000 tickets, risin' to 5,000 if the demand iz there!

400,000 THANKYOOZ TO AALL WOR REEEDERS!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 6th February 2020

THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDIN' NEW YORK!

"GEORDIE TIMES RULES OK!"

Orlier this week The Geordie Times reached yet anothaa 'historic' landmark, when we received wor 400,000th pageview and we thank each and every one of yoo for loggin in to this mad-sad groundhoppers website!

We are one of the very few blogs that is advort free, with nee 'pop ups' to annoy yoo, az we de it for the love of it and nothin' else!

THE LATEST TOP TEN COUNTRY PAGEVIEWS:
1 UK 190,000 plus
2 USA (Aall the way!) 54,000 plus
3 The old Ukraine 24,000 plus
4 The Israelites 24,000 plus
5 Jawmany 18,000 plus
6 Rushaa 12,000 plus
7 (Lost in) France 9,000 plus
8 (Mee old) China 5,000 plus
9 The Guinness Republic 5,000 plus
10 Espanyaa 3,000 plus

In total 160 countries and territories have visited this site from aroond the planet Orth, includin' Mars!

AND FROM A SPACESHIP FROM MARS

CIRCLIN' THE PLANET ORTH!

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"

"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

Once again,400,000 thanx for your loyalty to The Geordie Times!

THE OXFAAD SKOLAAZ 2 THE TOON 3 *** FA CUP 4TH ROOND REPLAY 2019-2020

Posted '1:05pm bells' Wedinzday 5th February 2020

"SAINTS ALIVE!"

VIEW FROM ROW 'Z' OF THE AWAY SECTION

If there's anything that The Toon like to put their fans through, then it's a torture chamber for certain---and that's exactly wot they did in Oxfaad last neet!

Leading 2-0 at half time and 'cruisin', with goals from Saun Longstaff in the 15th minute at 'The Car Park End', with a fine strike and one from Joelinton---yes!---JOELINTON!, who ran through the Oxfaad defence  and beat their keeper with a well placed shot on the half hour mark, to send the 1,800 Toon fans into dilerium!

"SING IN THE CAR PARK!"

But the dilerium woz shattered in the 84th minute when a needless free kick woz given away by Matt Ritchie near the edge of the box.

The resulting free kick taken by  Kelly, ended up in the corner of wor net, with Karl Darlow in The Toon goal beaten, to half the deficeit!

2nd HALF ACTION AZ NUFC ATTACK THE LEFT HAND GOAL!

And then complete disaster!---Deep into stoppage time with wor defence in disarray, a cross came ower and Nathan Holland volleyed home in the 95th minute, to take the tie to an unwanted 30 minutes extra time!

I sank to my seat in despair with my heed in hands!---It could anly happen to 'US'!

Anyway!---Oxfaad then went for the winner az wor shattered team tried to defend desperately!

Just when it looked az though it would gan to a penalty shootout, Saint-Maximin went on a run into the home sides penalty box, weaving in and out az he went and then hit an unstoppable shot past the Oxfaad keeper, to send us from utter despair---to unbridled joy!

This woz in the 116th minute and we desperately defended for the final 4 minutes of extra time before the ref blew for full time!

THE SAINT had done it!---and he milked the applause from the Toon faithful az we danced with joy az the team came ower to celebrate with the fans!

After the game we heeded back to the huge car park behind the groond where the traffic woz at a standstill!---We decided to gan for a drink in the nearby hotel bar to let the traffic ease---they were still queuing to get oot when we went back to wor car an HOUR later!

It woz now nearly 'midneet bells' az we got onto the ring road back to the M40!----and 5 hours later we eventually arrived back on Tyneside, completely nackered by the whole experience! 

Aa eventually got the key in mee front door at '5 am bells', 17 hours after closin' it to gan to Oxfaad, in Big Al's car! (NOT the sheet metal workers son!)

Woz it worth it?---well its always 'worth it' when The Toon win away!

Aaltogether now: "Oh when The Saint!---Oh when The Saint!---Oh when The Saint goes marchin' in!----Aa wanna be in that number!---When The Saint goes marchin' in!"

The pre match gargels took place in The Stratton Arms in the village of Turweston (22 miles from Oxfaad) and in 'The Ridge' next to Oxfaad's Kassam Stadium!

WE GOT 'GOOSED' ON 'GOOSE IPA' ALE!

Post match gargels took place in the 'Hampton hotel bar' after the game!

Bizzarly there were two different match programmes for the game----one for home fans---and one for away fans!!??

        ↑HOME---AND---AWAY↑

       


PS: more pix and team line to follow much later, az av got to gan to work in an hours time---and drive to Redditch in Worcestershire in mee truck!

Much later!
Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Schar, Lascelles, Lejeune (Clark 97), Ritchie, M.Longstaff, S.Longstaff, Bentaleb (Atsu 103), Almiron (Hayden 90), Joelinton (Saint-Maximin 37)

Attendance: 11,520 (Officially 1,779 Toon fans) (Allocation 1,800?)

*Footnote: The result meeenz that we will gan into March in the FA Cup for the forst time in 14 years, havin been knocked oot of the competition in January every year since 2006!  

THE OXFAAD SKOLAAZ V THE TOON *** TOMORROW NEET!

Posted '1:30pm bells' Munday 3rd February 2020

We face an unwanted 520 mile road trip tomorrow to Oxfaad and back, for this FA Cup 4th roond replay at The Kassam Stadium!
We have sold wor allocation of 1,800 tickets in this 12,000 capacity 3 sided stadium (the goal to the right of the away end has a car park behind it!)

Reely, we shud have wrapped it up at SJP, but wor inability to score just one goal against this Leegue One outfit means we must heed for Oxfaadshire and hope we can get a few goals???

IF we win, we will face The Baggie Troosers of West Brom away in the 5th roond--a midweek game again in orly March, because of the so caalled 'winter break'!

A Geordie Times match report on the game will appear here sometime on Wedinzday!
Az per usual--"Watch this space!"

SWANZEE U23S 0 THE TOON U23S 4 *** FA PREMYAA LEEGUE 2

Posted '6:20pm bells' Munday 3rd February 2020 at Trowell truck park, M1 southbound!

  The Toon are in the orange    strip!

Wor U23s ran riot in south Wales this afternooon, winning 4-0 at Landore training groond!

Wor goals were scored by Wilson (39 seconds!), Longelo (65th minute), Sorenson (68th minute) and Toure with 10 mins left on the clock!

THREE NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers were in attendance, namely Glennn from Ashington, Byzeee and wor Rovin' reporter, Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer, who sent the photos above photo and team sheet!