THE OXFAAD SKOLAAZ V THE TOON *** TOMORROW NEET!

Posted '1:30pm bells' Munday 3rd February 2020

We face an unwanted 520 mile road trip tomorrow to Oxfaad and back, for this FA Cup 4th roond replay at The Kassam Stadium!
We have sold wor allocation of 1,800 tickets in this 12,000 capacity 3 sided stadium (the goal to the right of the away end has a car park behind it!)

Reely, we shud have wrapped it up at SJP, but wor inability to score just one goal against this Leegue One outfit means we must heed for Oxfaadshire and hope we can get a few goals???

IF we win, we will face The Baggie Troosers of West Brom away in the 5th roond--a midweek game again in orly March, because of the so caalled 'winter break'!

A Geordie Times match report on the game will appear here sometime on Wedinzday!
Az per usual--"Watch this space!"

SWANZEE U23S 0 THE TOON U23S 4 *** FA PREMYAA LEEGUE 2

Posted '6:20pm bells' Munday 3rd February 2020 at Trowell truck park, M1 southbound!

  The Toon are in the orange    strip!

Wor U23s ran riot in south Wales this afternooon, winning 4-0 at Landore training groond!

Wor goals were scored by Wilson (39 seconds!), Longelo (65th minute), Sorenson (68th minute) and Toure with 10 mins left on the clock!

THREE NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers were in attendance, namely Glennn from Ashington, Byzeee and wor Rovin' reporter, Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer, who sent the photos above photo and team sheet!

THE TOON 0 THE CANARY CUSTARD 'REDS' 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '11:30am bells' Sunday 2nd February 2020

😴"SLEEPWAAKIN' TO SAFETY!"😴

Unfortunately, this woz yet anothaa game to forget, which surely will be last on Match of the Day, when I watch it on Sunday mornin'? (It WOZ!---aall 4 and a half minutes of it!)

It reely iz cringeworthy stuff to watch and if yoo cannit sleep at night, an afternoon at St. James' Park will surely make yoo want to 'drop off' into a deep-deep sleep! "ZZZZZzzzzz!"😴

ACTION? AZ NUFC ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL

The fact that Nohrich, the bottom club who look certain to be relegated, had more clear cut chances, speaks volumes of wor erratic display yesterday afternoon!

Make nee misstayk, wor visitors from Norfolk shud have won this with at least 7 clear cut chances, but the reason that they are bottom of the pile iz because of their powder puff attack, which misfired time after time! (Just like wors!)
NUFC had chances az well, but not many, with just one clear cut chance in the forst half , a heeder from Joelinton, which woz expertly tipped ower the bar by ex Toon goalie Tim Krul! 
(The anly chance created by wor 40 million poond man who looks low on confidence!)
And then in the 2nd half Saint Maximin hit a shot across the box which narrowly went wide! ---And that woz it az far az we were concerned!

MATT RITCHIE PREPARES TO TAKE A FREE KICK IN THE 2nd HALF!

There were Premyaa Leegue debuts for 3 players, Nabil Bentaleb from the start and 2nd half substitutions, Danny Rose and Valentino Lazaro, but it woz 'the same old', same old' NUFC, az we plodded alang with quite a few misplaced passes to Nohrich players, and backward passes aplenty, to frustrate the near capacity crowd!

Grandson Jamie said at the final whistle, that he couldn't bare to watch anymore after 75 minutes, and played games on hiz phone instead for the last 15 minutes! (for the 2nd home game in a row!)
That just aboot sums uz up!

Amazingly, the point lifts us into the top half of the table, az nearly every othaa result went wor way! (Just 5 points behind Sheff U in 5th place and 7 points more than West Ham in the last relegation place!)

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin (Lazaro 54), Ritchie, Clark, Lascelles, Fernandez, Hayden (S. Longstaff), Bentaleb, Almiron, Saint-Maximin (Rose 79), Joelinton

Attendance: 52,204 (1,500 colour blind Canary Custards who sang "Come on you yellows!" throughout the match!---they played in AALL RED!) 

*Footnote: Forwards, Joelinton, Saint-Maximin and Almiron cost us EIGHTY MILLION QUID between them and they have scored just FOUR Premyaa Leegue goals so far this season, from 25 games!

*

THE TOON v DELIA'Z CANARY CUSTARD CREAMS *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2019-2020

Posted '2:10pm bells' BREXIT FRIDAY😊31st January 2020

GREY'S MONUMENT ENTRANCE TO ELDON SQUARE!

Tomorrow afternoon we play basement club Nohrich at SJP and 3 points 'iz a must' against the strugglin' east Anglian club!

NUFC will have THREE players makin their Premyaa Leegue debut for us, namely, Valantino Larazo, Danny Rose and Nabil Bentalib, but there iz nee sign of a much needed goalscorer to bolster wor attack! (Deadline day deal unlikely)
However! Shelvey, Dummett, Gayle, Muto, Carroll, Krafth and Manquillo are still 'crocked'!

Not suprizingly, bottom club Nohrich haven't sold their 3,000 allocation of tickets and the unsold tickets are now on sale to NUFC fans (We expect no more than 500-600 to torn up from Norfolk!)
A 50,000 crowd of predicted by The Geordie Times! (Instead of 52,000 had wor visitors sold their allocation)

Meeenwhile, wor next 2 away games v 'The Oxfaad Skolaaz' and 'The Arse' are completely sold oot!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday---az per usual, "Watch this space!" 

🎵OH DANNY BOY!--THE TOON--THE TOON--ARE CALLING!🎵

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 30th January 2020

"HELLO!--DANNY BOY?--'BROKEN NOSE BRUCE' HERE!"

*NUFC have agreed a loan deal for Sporz and England left back Danny Rose.
Danny is 29 years old and haz 29 England caps.
It has been reported that a 2 million pound loan deal haz been agreed, with an option to buy in the summer!
He woz born in 'Donny' (Doncaster) and started his playin career at Leedz!

This is a great addition to wor squad in wor bid to drag worsels well clear of the drop zone! (And who naaz---a possible European place?)

*

THE UNROMANCE OF THE FA CUP!

Posted '1:19pm bells' Tuesday 28th January 2020

THE LAST TIME WE WERE IN OXFAAD, NUFC LOST 3-0 AFTER 

FIELDIN A WEAKENED TEAM, 3 YEARS AGO THIS MONTH

(VIEW FROM THE AWAY END (THE 1st 3 ROWS WERE KEPT EMPTY)

At the time of writin this, we STILL divvint naa wethaa wor FA Cup replay v Oxfaad at The Kassam Stadium will be played next Tuesday or Wedinzday, az the BBC hazzent decided yet just which replay game they will pick for their Wedinzday neet 'slot'!

Thiz iz absolutleee 'criminal' with the fans left in limbo to book trains and hotels, which are 'sky high' az we speak!
Of course, the langer we have to wait, the more the prices gan up!---and UP!

'The Liverbirds' manager Yorgin Klopp haz said aalready that he will play an U23 resorve team in their replay v Shrewsbury at Anfieeeld next week, and that he wont even bothaa gannin to the game!!!!

The FA Cup haz been devalued yet again with Klopp's decision, meanin the 'so-called big clubs' are more interested in winnin the Leegue, and that the FA Cup haz been 'relegated' to a minor competition to them! (Remember Moan U not even enterin the FA Cup in 1999?)
Aalso the 5th roond of the competition iz to be played MIDWEEK  for the forst time ever! So if? we win the replay, we will have to travel to West Brom on a Tuesday or Wedinzday neet! (Yet more fan inconvenience!) 

A total contrast to the 1960's when the FA Cup woz 'KING' and if yoo'd asked anybody back then if they would rather win the Leegue or FA Cup the answer would have been the FA Cup EVERY time! 

The Geordie Times will of course let yiz naa, just when we will be in Oxfaadshire, az soon az we find oot!

Update Tuesday neet at Trowell truck park, M1 south:
The Oxfaad Skolaaz v The Toon replay will be played on Tuesday 4th February at '8:05 bells' for live telly (BBC)

SELF INFLICTED WOUNDS! (Part 123!)

Posted '1:00pm bells' Munday 27th January 2020

*We at 'The Geordie Times' cannit believe wor manager/heed coach's comments after wor bore no score draw v The Oxfaad Skollaz on Saturday:
Quote: 'Broken Nose Bruce' haz slammed The Premyaa Leegue's new winter break after hiz side will now face a 4th roond replay at Oxfaad, instead of puttin' hiz feet up!

NUFC had considered a warm weather trainin' camp in Dubai (very nice!) but after so many injuries in the last 2 months, Bruce had decided to give hiz players time to spend at home with their families.

A lang break between next weekend's game v Nohrich and the trip to 'The Arse' in the middle of next month had been on the agenda for NUFC had they beaten Oxfaad!

But they will now spend it preparin' for a lang haul trip to the Kassam Stadium for a 2nd attempt at gettin' past Leegue One opponents!

'Old Broken Nose' said: "For me its a ridiculous situation that you're supposed to have a week off and then all of a sudden, they've shoved replays in there, so what's the point?"

The point iz this Steve, we played 5 at the back with a near full strength team, against lowly opposition at HOME, when we shud have went for 'the jugular' from the start!  
We would surely have won the game if we had, but this iz NUFC after aall and it's WOR OWN FAULT that we face a replay in the middle of next week!

Theeze are SELF INFLICTED WOUNDS  and we can anly blame worsels for yet another unwanted midweek game!

Of course, the 'diehard fans' will be there at great inconvenience and expense, with an owerneet stay in the university city ' a must' az the game could well gan to extra time and penalties, makin' it impossible to catch a train back to the north!

Self inflicted wounds, indeed, 'Brucey baby', so don't curse and blame The Premyaa Leegue for wor predicament---BLAME YOURSELF! (and the players who failed miserably!)

PS: We shud find oot sometime today just when the replay will happen---live telly a certainty!---and of course the draw for the 5th roond takes place at '7:30 bells' tooneet---and we will let yoo, wor loyal reeders naa just when the replay date iz---and who we have drawn in the 5th roond----that's providin' we beat Oxfaad in the replay of course! (We are baall number 14)

Az per usual 'watch this space' later on tooneet!

Replay time and date:???

Possible 5th roond opponents: West Brom away

THE TOON 0 OXFAAD 0 *** FA CUP 4TH ROOND 2019-2020

Posted '10:47am bells' Sunday 26th January 2020

VIEW FROM ROW 'QQ' SEAT '105' IN THE GALLOWGATE END

 AZ NUFC ATTACK THE FAR LEAZES END GOAL

"A PENANCE AND SEVERE
PUNISHMENT!"😳

Yet anothaa shockin FA Cup display by a near full strength NUFC side, against lowly Oxfaad from Leegue One! 

2 offside goals from Joelinton and a very bad miss from him late on, meeenz that we must travel to Oxfaadshire for a midweek replay in 9 or 10 days time after this 0-0 bore draw in front of 52,000, including nearly 4,000 Oxfaad fans!

A JOELINTON SHOT IZ SAVED BY THE OXFAAD KEEPER (2nd half)

Even 'Broken Nose Bruce' admitted that we played badly (again!) and the replay iz definatly not what ANYBODY wanted ----apart from the Oxfaad contingent, that iz!

MOST OF THE 52,000 CROWD WERE HOUSED IN 

THE MILBURN STAND (left) AND LEAZES END

Grandson Jamie, who woz sittin next to me in row QQ of The Gallowgate End, spent half hiz time lookin' at the games on hiz phone, az this woz better 'entertainment' than the 'game' on the pitch!
I told Jamie that in hiz lifetime NUFC had NEVER got past the 4th roond of the FA Cup! (He's 11 next borthday!)

Just why we cant put these lower leegue team 'to bed' at the forst attempt iz a mystery and sommik that we have had to endure for half a century and more!---so this iz nee suprize to us whatsoever!

Nabil Bentalib made hiz debut and must of thought just wot the hell he had let himself in for, az we laboured alang with misplaced passes and 'crab like' sideways action!

Indeed Oxfaad could have won it 'near the death', if it wasn't for Darlow in The Toon goal, who made 2 excellent saves to deny wor visitors!

Az the final whistle blew, there woz boooing from the crowd and az we exited the stadium, Jamie said to me!, "You could miss the replay Grandad, it's only one game!", to which I replied, "It's my penance and punishment Jamie---for bein a diehard Toon fan!----so I've GOT to gan!"----That's an expensive and unwanted 600 mile roond trip on a Tuesday or Wedinzday neet!---Say no more!!!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Schar, Lascelles, Clark, Ritchie, Almiron, Bentalib (Atsu 81), S.Longstaff (Hayden 88), Saint-Maximin (M. Longstaff 70), Joelinton

Attendance: 52, 221 (3,710 from Oxfaad) (They sold more than 3,900 tickets?)
This woz wor highest FA Cup crowd for 44 years--and so to play like that woz criminal!

*A dog is for life and so is NUFC!   (TILLY'S BAR after game!

THE TOON V OXFAAD *** FA CUP 4TH ROOND *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:18pm bells' Friday 24th January 2020

NUFC play Leegue One Oxfaad at SJP at '3:00 bells' tomorrow afternooon and a crowd approaching 50,000 is expected, with wor visitors sellin' 3,900 of their 5,000 allocation for level 7 of The Leazes End!

Prices for sprogs have been reduced from a fiver to just a quid, hence the reason for the 45,000 ticket sales by last neet!

Update: Just hord---The game is now a complete 52,000 sellooot!

New loan signin' Valentino Lazaro is expected to start in wor bid for a 5th roond place for the first time since 2006!
Winger Lazaro has come from Inter Milan and an option to buy him for £20 million, iz on the table, shud he be a success?
He is a 23 year old Austrian International and can play on both wings!
Aalso in the startin' line up will be new midfielder Nabil Bentaleb, who signed on loan from Schalke 04, 2 days ago, with the option to buy at the end of the season for £8.5 million

NABIL BENTALEB

'The Geordie Times' will of course bring yoo 'wor loyal reeders' aall 'the gen' sometime on Sunday and pleeeze, pleeeze, nee replay at Oxfaad, where we lost 3-0, 3 years ago in the same competition with a 'scratch side'!

PS: Just hord that Lazaro will NOT make his debut az the transfor papers haven't been completed in time for him to play!😳

NEWCASIL BENFEEELD 1 THE TOON U23S 1 (NUFC win on penalties)

Posted '12:38pm bells' Thorsday 23rd January 2020

"COME ON YOO ORANGEMEN!"

Last neet wor U23s progressed to the semi finals of The Northumberland Senior Cup, by beating Northern Leegue side Newcasil Benfeeeld at Sam Smith's Park!

The score at full time woz 1-1 with Longelo gettin' wor goal in the 84th minute after Benfeeeld had taken the lead in the forst half!
And so the game went to a penalty shootout, where we won it 3-2 with Allen, Young and White scorin from the spot (Benfeeeld missed 3 penalties, which were saved by Turner in The Toon goal)

PS> Special thanx to 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' for the pix!

Attendance: 330