RYHOPE SMBs 2 DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 4 *** NORTHERN LEEGUE

Posted '11:23am bells' Sunday 25th November 2018

"mackem SLAYERS!"

With yet anothaa blank Saturday to fill in (The Toon wornt playin til Munday neet!) we heeded for 'enemy territory' in Ryhope (sund'lind) to watch 'The Bad Blue Boys' at 'The Ryhope Recreation Groond'.

A lad called Peetaa (Peter!) woz drivin and it woz just az well the sat nav woz workin, az the groond woz in the middle of a maze of dead end streets!

We had time for a quick pint in the Ryhope Cricket Club bar (next to the futbaall groond) before heedin for the match!

"SANCTUARY!"

I bought a match programme to see the team line ups, anly to discover that it woz 2 teams of invisible men playin'!

FILL YOUR OWN TEAM IN!

1: DUBRAVKA, 2: CLARK, 3: YEDLIN, 9: SHEARER!, 10: ???

Ryhope wore a red n white striped kit (az yi'd expect for a sund'lind team!), while The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston wore their aall blue strip!
The forst half woz c*ap with both teams unable to get oot of forst gear---and az the rain came doon we decided to heed back to the clubhoose just before half time for some more 'liquid lubrications' (and to avoid a soakin'!)
Just wor luck that Dunston scored through a Fitzpatrick penalty aftaa a 'hand baall' by a Ryhope player, deep into stoppage time---and of course we had missed it!

"Nevaa mind", we thought---there are more goals in this game---and were we to be proved right when Jordan Nellis struck a superb shot into the corner of the net in the 54th minute, to put 'The Bad Blue Boys' '2 up' and send their 60 odd fans wild with delight  (ower half the crowd!)

It woz 3-0 6 mins later, when this time, Fitzpatrick hit a superb stike into the bottom corner and it woz 'game ower'-----well not quite!---az 'the mackem minnows' pulled 2 goals back through Ellis and Devlin to set the norves janglin!

However, Dunston had the last say when Scott Heslop fired home to complete the scorin'! (4-2)

Dunston are still unbeaten in the leegue and are breathin doon Consett's neck at the top of the table! (Consett won az well to remain top) 
Attendance:117 (plus a gadgie watchin' from hiz bedroom window in the distance!)

INVISIBLE TEAM LINE UPS INSIDE!--

On the way back, we spotted this

bus stop aboot a mile away

from the groond!😨

YET ANOTHAA BLANKETY BLANK WEEKEND!

Posted '1:12pm bells' Saturday 24th November 2018

TURF MOOR, BORNLEY ***AZ IT LOOKED IN 1974

On Munday neet we play The Bornley 'Hillbillies', away, for a live telly game, which meenz we have yet anothaa blank Saturday to fill in.
The intention last Saturday when the International break woz on, woz to gan and watch 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston, but I nevaa got there, az aa had to gan to hospital az mee leg and foot had swollen reet up for ne apparent reason and aa had to get it 'checked oot'! (A 3 hour wait!)

Thankfully the swellin haz went doon and 'its back to normal service today', when a'm off to 'enemy territory' in Ryhope (sund'lind) to watch Dunston in a Northern Leegue encoontaa!

44 years ago yesterday, we played Bornley at Turf Moor and were hammered 4-1😧 --- and an archive match report on that game iz printed below! (ground number 034)

034 turf moor burnley

(GROUND NUMBER 34)
Date of First Visit: 23rd NOVEMBER 1974
TURF MOOR, BURNLEY

BURNLEY 4
NEWCASTLE UNITED 1 (Barrowclough)
(OLD) DIVISION ONE
ATTENDANCE 19,523 (2,000 Toon fans)



"TAKIN' THE P**S!"

 The bus was chocka block az usual with *'The Waterloo Wobblers 'az wih left the Toon for this trip tih Turf Moor and of course it was aalso 'chocka' wih drink, AND!---az was the 'custom in them days, a ten gallon plastic 'p**s bucket' occupied the front stairwell.


There were ne 'tool sheds' on the busses back in the 'stone age' (aka; the sixties and
seventies!) and tih save the driver from stoppin' every ten miles or so for a 'p**s
stop', a large container tih hold wor 'surpless liquid' was VITAL! on every away
trip!. (Thus savin' valueable drinkin' time!)


The Bornley trip was ne exception tih the rule, and the stinkin' frothy 'bucket' was
full tih overflowin' az we approached the environs of this Lancashire outpost.
In fact it was that full that everytime the bus went ower a pothole on the 'A59' (and there were plenty of them!) the contents came ower the side like a giant tsunami wave! (slight
exaggeration!) and if yih wor'nt very careful, yi'd get yih troosers and skeets
washed free of charge!. (ie; it wasn't too wise tih get too close, az nature took it's
course!)


Az wih got closer tih the groond, a police outrider signalled for the driver tih
follow him, blue light flashin'. Then, az wih got within 'hocklin' distance' of the floodlights, an ower zelious rookie 'Dibble' who looked aboot sixteen years old put his hand oot tih stop the bus and read wih the 'riot act'.
The p**s bucket was leanin' precarisly against door under the weight of the p**s on the top step of the stairwell and 'young Dibble', in hiz eagerness tih get on, yanked the door and pulled it open!

 Az the door opened!--- (AYE!—YIV GUESSED IT!)---the bucket toppled ower and the entire contents spilled oot and went aall ower his shirt, tunic and flannel troosers!.
----I-T!---W-A-Z!-----H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S-!
The sight of him standin' there, speechless!, drenched tih the skin!, with steam
risin' from his uniform from the ten gallons of warm putrid p**s!, on that freezin'
caad November day!, iz somethin' that will live with iz till MEE DYIN' DAY!.
(Oh! how ah wished that a'd brought mee camara with iz!--OH! HOW AH WISHED!)


The bus was in hysterics!, az he stood there like a drooned rat!, not knaain what
tih de next!. (Toon Fans-'ONE!'---'Dibble'-'NIL!')
We were blockin' the road and the 'Dibble' who waz escortin' the bus, then came
tih wor rescue and signalled frantically for the driver tih move on az we were
causin' a massive traffic jam!.
Wor driver (fearin' he'd be nicked!) didn't need much persuasion tih move on! and
he was off like a shot!, leavin' the 'drenched Dibble' to his fate!.
(Yih COULD'NT make it up!)


Az wih entered the groond the taalkin' point waz of course aboot what happened
tih 'officer' 'Dibble' but anotha taalkin' point waz the battle that waz gannin on
before us between 'The Leazes Boot Boys' and their Bornley counterparts fortha
alang the huge terrace.
'The Longside' where we were housed waz aalso the 'Borley Boot Boys' 'pitch' and
aall that seperated the rival fans waz a metal fence doon the middle straddlin' the half
way line.
It torned out that some of wor fans had 'infiltrated' their section and boots 'n' fists
were flyin' everywhere! (In them days yih just payed on the day tih get in, and it
waz common for rival fans tih get intih the wrang end!)


Before lang and just az the teams ran oot, 'The 'Dibble Brigade' charged in and a canny few were 'collared' and led away! (some 'fans' were unceremonisly carried
oot, kickin' and screamin' az they went!, knockin' off a few of the officers' helmets
in the process, ontih the perimiter track!, but before lang the trouble died doon
and we could nuw (hopefully?) concentrate on the match!

'The Long-
side', incident-ly, waz well named, az it ran the full length of the pitch and in the distance above the main stand yih could see the moors that gave the groond it's name.
(Very picturesque!)

However!---it wasn't too 'picturesque' on the pitch and it wasn't too lang before
we were brung back doon tih earth!, and I'm of course taalkin' aboot wor woeful
match performance once again!.
This time it was Bornley who were 'TAKIN THE P**S' az they ran oot easy fower-
one winners with ex Toon player Peter Noble comin' back to haunt hiz former club
scorin' a hat-trick in the process!
Stewie Barrowclough got the Toon's 'consolation goal'? in the second half when he
cut in from the left tih shoot under Stevenson the Bornley keeper.


SUMMARY:
SO!--- that waz it then!
Bornley took the P**S! ("boo!-hoo!")
'Dibble' got the P**S! ("ha!-ha!")
And we got totally!-------P**S'T! ("yeee-haaa!")


(Az the aad sayin' ganz---"IT NEVER RAINS!"----"IT JUST 'P**SES' DOON!")




Footnote:
*'The Waterloo Wobblers' were a group of fans who frequented 'The Waterloo Pub' on the corner of Bath Lane and Westgate Road in Newcastle---namely ---


'Lang haired Mac', Marty, Dylan, Windy, Fat Wally (aka: 'Thunder Thighs!'), Santy, 'Bob the Bag' (a shoplifter!), 'Davy the Bold-One',  Davy Dowaz, Ashy, 'Plonky' Burns, 'Pete the Nose', 'Jimmy The Mask', (a man so ugly you would think he was wearin' one!) plus various others, who, through the passage of time their names aa cannit recollect at the moment! (aa think they caall it 'Alzheimer's!')

THE WATERLOO--Lost but NOT! forgotten





Geordie Glossary of Terms and Phrases (for the benefit of 'non Geordie' readers)


A
Az=as
Aboot=about
A'd=I'd
Alang=along
Aye=yes
Aall=all
Aad=old
B
Bornley=Burnley
C
Chocka=full
Collared=arrested
Cannit=cannot
Call=call
Caad=cold
D
Dibble=policeman/men
Droned=drowned
De=do
Doon=down
F
Fortha=further
Fower-one=four-one
G
Groond=ground
Ganz=goes
Gannin'=going
H
Hocklin' distance=spitting distance
I
Intih=into
Iz=is/me
K
Knaain=knowing
L
Lang=long
M
Mee=my
N
Nne=no
Nuw=now
O
Ower=over
Oot=out
Ontih=onto
P
P**s=a bodily function!
P**s't=very drunk!
S
Skeets=shoes
T
Toon=City of Newcastle/Newcastle fans/Newcastle United FC
Tool sheds=toilets
Tih=to
Taalkin'=talking
The Leazes End boot boys=Newcastle hooligans
Troosers=trousers
W
Wor=our
Wor'nt=were not
Wih=we
Wrang=wrong
Y
Yih=you
Yiv=you have
Yi'd=you would




©Fink™(the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)

"IT WOZ 50 YEARS AGO TODAY!" (Part 3)

Posted '2:45pm bells' Friday 23rd November 2018

50 years ago today me and mee mate 'Billy' went to Wolves to watch The Toon.
It woz Billy's 15th borthday and he iz 65 today! (how time flyzzz!)

"HAPPY BORTHDAY TO YOO!"

An archive match report on that game iz printed below (ground number 005)

"1,000 THANKYOOOZ!"

Posted '4:00pm bells' Thorsday 22nd November 2018

"GEORDIE TIMES RULES OK!"

For the forst time in the history of the world The Geordie Times haz had ower 1,000 pageviews in a monthly period for a country ootside of the UK, when the USA recorded 1,013 hits today!

They say that futbaall (or soccer az wor friends across 'the pond' caall it), iz anly their 5th best supported sport behind American futbaall, basebaall, basketbaall and ice hockey.

But they ARE the 2nd most visitors to this site after the old UK with 44,000 plus hits in total---and we thank each and every one of yoo from New York City to San Francisco and from Chicago to New Orleans for loggin in! (Hope yoo can understand the Geordie lingo!?

"THE GEORDIE TIMES NEVER PRINTS FAKE NEWS!

I READ IT RELIGIOUSLY EVERY DAY!

HOWWIY THE LEDS!" 

GEORDIE TIMES PAGEVIEWS FOR THE LAST MONTH.

THE 'UNKNOWN REGION' IN 3rd PLACE IZ FOR MARS 

AND THE PLANETS BEYOND!

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"

"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

MACC ATTACK!

Posted '3:10pm bells' Thorsday 22nd November 2018

A date for wor U21s Checkatrade Trophy match v Macclesfield haz been conformed az Tuesday 4th December with a '7 bells' kick off
'The Big Maccs' are currently bottom of Leegue 2 and face relegation after just one season since promotion from The National Leegue!

The game will be played @ St. James' Park and everyone must pay!
It's a fiver for big kids and just one quid for sprogs and zimmerframeites!
A result must be obtained on the neet!

This will be the forst ever meetin' between the 2 clubs at any level!

"AUF WIEDESEHEN,MIKE!"

Posted '2:02pm bells' Tuesday 20th November 2018

"PAPER TALK!"

Geordie actor and Toon fan Kevin Whately, better known az 'Neville' in 'Auf wiedesehen, pet' and 'Lewis' in the detective series, seen here in a clip of 'Lewis' taalkin to a lass.

We'll give yoo 3 guesses wot he thinks of wor beloved owner? 'The Fat Controller'!

"I'D WALK A MILLION MILES FOR ONE OF YOUR SMILES!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 19th November 2018

'The Geordie Times' iz very sad to hear aboot the passing of former club captain and left half, Jim Iley who died on Saturday aged 82

Jim played 249 times for NUFC between 1962 and 1969 and scored 16 goals and woz part of the successful promotion team of 1965, scorin the decisive goal to win promotion when we beat Bolton 2-0 on Good Friday 1965

I used to stand in the old The Leazes End in the 1960s and they had their own song for him, which went :
"I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, Jim I-ley!" 

RIP JIM

THE BIG MACC!---AND THE THREE mackems

Posted '10:56am bells' Sunday 18th November 2018

The draw for the last 32 of The Checkatrade Trophy haz been made and NUFC U21s reward for winnin their group iz a home tie against Macclesfield Toon, who currently sit rock bottom of Leegue 2!

We have NEVAA played Macclesfield at any level, so this iz a 'must gan' game for The Geordie Times!
The game iz to be played (we assume) @ SJP in the forst week of December (ne date yet)

In the last game of the group stage we beat Grimsby 3-2 at Blundell Park in front of just 547, which included 66 diehard Geordies and many were askin if this woz Grimsby's lowest crowd for a competitive game in their history!?

The mackems meanwhile took ower a thooosand to Morcambe for their Checkatrade game, and they have had a good laugh it wor 'pathetic' away support at Grimsby!

HOWEVER! they were watchin their FORST team, while NUFC fans were watchin wor RESORVE team----and last season, when the mackems could play their RESORVES at Grimsby in the same competition (because they were a Championship club) a 'crowd' of just 248 torned up which included---wait for it!--- THREE SMBs in the visitors end!!!!----that's reet, just THREE bothered to torn up when their forst team were heedin for Leegue 1
THIS iz Grimsby's lowest ever crowd!

SMB FANS TRAVEL IN FORCE TO GRIMSBY LAST SEASON 

IN THE CHECKATRADE TROPHY!

This meenz that more than 20 times az many Toon fans went to Grimsby to watch wor U21s, compared to their support!

The sund'lind echo paper then printed a story that more than double that number had actually followed the mackems to Grimsby last season and they claimed that in fact SEVEN had made the trip---"WOW!"

(Yi couldn't make it up!)

AALL IN VAIN!

Posted '2:15pm bells' Friday 16th November 2018

"I'M GOING NOWHERE!"

While NUFC face wor thord blank weekend of the season due to Internationals, we again must find wor 'fix' for the weekend and az per usual in my circumstances, we will be followin' Northern Leegue side 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston when they play a home game v Stockton on Saturday afternoon!

Meenwhile 150 miles to the south, 'The Magpie Group' are planning a demonstration ootside Sports Redirect's main hub in Shirebrook!

Although 'The Geordie Times' agrees with their sentiments, it will be a wasted jorney I'm afraid, az wor beloved owner? known affectionately az 'The Fat Controller' will be anywhere but there on Saturday!---and wot will the protests achieve?---absolutely NOTHIN' I'm afraid! 
Aa meen!, he iz hardly gannin to sell the club because of any protests against him az he iz (very!) thick skinned! (AND a lang way away from Shirebrook!)

NO! the anly way we will get rid of him iz if a very rich buyers comes alang and rumour haz it that an USA investor iz interested this time!---We've hord aall this before of course and just like the muthaa in law who lives with yoo---and who yoo cant get rid of---the same iz true of 'The Fat Controller'---beleeeve yoo me!