MAGPIES v MAGPIES *** TOONEET @ '7 BELLS'

Posted '2:20pm bells' Tuesday 9th October 2018
Updated '3:50am bells' Wedinzday

NUFC U21s travel to Notts Coonty toneet to take on their forst team in The Checkatrade Trophy @ Meadow Lane.

Az we've been here a few times before and az its a resorve side that iz travellin' doon, most of The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers wont be there!

If yoo need this groond to increase your list of groonds visited watchin' 'The Toon', then heed for 'The Jimmy Sirrel Stand' where the away fans are housed! (£7 admission for adults)

But don't make the missteak of endin up at the wrang groond like we did in wor forst visit to Nottingham in 1970

Both Coonty's and Forest's groonds are within sight of each othaa on opposite sides of the river Trent

We had followed the floodlight pylons and ended up at Notts Coonty's groond instead of Nottingham Forest's, who we were playin' at the time! 

COONTY'S GROOND IZ AT THE TOP OF THE PICTURE

Update:
Wor U21s beat Notts Coonty's 1st team 2-0 with wor goals comin from Callum Roberts who convorted a 10th minute pen and we increased wor lead in the 2nd half when Sorensen fired home a shot from a few yards oot!

The crowd numbered 1,100 which included 77 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!

PS: For an archive match report on the game at Forest in 1970 scroll doon page to next article
Ground 013

GEORDIE TIMES EXCUUUSIVE! ***BAD BLUE BOYS v THE HEEDBANGERS ON LIVE STREAM FROM BBC!

Posted '4:20pm bells' Tuesday 9th October 2018

Dunston's FA Cup derby game with Gatesheed will be shown on the telly! (live stream on the red button!)
The game now kicks of at '12:30 bells' meeenin that we have time to watch that and heed for St James' Park which iz a 10 minute drive and 3 miles away from Dunston's groond for NUFC's '3 bells' start v Brighton on Saturday 20th October!   "TAX-EEEEE!"

"BRILLIANT NEWS!"😁

WEST MEETS EAST! **** THE BAD BLUE BOYS v THE HEEDBANGERS!

Posted '2:04pm bells' Munday 8th October 2018
Updated '3:10pm Tuesday

DUNSTON PLAYERS CELEBRATE THEIR MAGNIFICENT 4-3 WIN v CHESTER!

The draw for the 4th qualifyin' roond of the FA Cup haz just been made and the lowest ranked team 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston, who had a magnificent 4-3 win ower former leegue side Chester at the weekend, will play anothaa former leegue side Gatesheed!
Dunston play in the west end of Gatesheed, while 'The Heedbangers' of Gatesheed hail from the east end of the toon!

The game will be played on the same day az The Toon are at home to Brighton in 2 weeks time and we can anly hope that the game iz moved to an orlier or later kick off time for live telly and that the games divvint 'clash'!

DUNSTON'S GROOND IZ 3 MILES FROM ST. JAMES' PARK

DUNSTON'S GROOND AND GATESHEED'S GROOND ARE 3.5 MILES APART

Both clubs are just a 10 minute drive from St James' Park and if a 'high noon bells' or '5:30 bells' kick off woz chosen, then 'yours truely' will be able to attend both games! (The Toon v Brighton game kicks off at '3 bells')

PS: Got my wish  The Dunston v Gatesheed game iz on a live BBC stream and kicks off at 12:30 bells' "YAHOOO!"

The Spartans of Blyth have aalso got a plumb home tie against former leegue side York City!

It shud be quite a day for them aall!

MOAN U 3 THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 7th October 2018
Updated Munday 'high noon bells'

FOR WHATEVER REASON 'THE TOON' PLAYED IN A LIGHT BLUE 'MAN CITY' STRIP!?

"SO NEAR BUT YET SO FAR!"

A'd actually been to Manchester the neet before on a 'truck run' to Eccles, which iz just 3 miles from Old Trafford!---The anly problem woz---aa had to bring a load of carpets and wood floorin' back to the Team Valley in Gatesheed az they needed it the next day!

Aa left Eccles at 11:30pm bells' and arrived in Gatesheed at 2:30am bells---finally getting to bed at '4am bells---then had to get up again at 8 to retorn to Manchester on the '10:02 bells' train!---Such iz the crazy life of a night trucker and a mad-sad groundhopper!

I arrived back in Manchester (with grandson Jamie) just 14 hours after I had left it!--- and with just 4 hours sleep I woz a bit 'cream crackered' to say the least!😪

The pub crawl started at '1:30 bells' and in total we did 4 bars aroond Manchester city centre before catchin a tram to 'The Theatre of Muppets' at Old Trafford for the '5:30 bells' kick off for live telly! (yet again!)

NUFC started off like a hoose on fire az we attacked The Stretford End and within 7 mins we had taken the lead when Kenedy curled a shot past De Gea in the Moan U goal to send the 3,000 Toon fans crazy in the visitors end opposite!

It woz soon 2-0 to NUFC when Muto fired  in from inside the box! --WOW!  we didnt expect that!

We had othaa chances and a clear cut penalty, when a shot from Shelvey woz handled in the box, but of course the ref or his linesmen didnt see it!!!???

We held on till the 70th minute when Diame gave away a needless free kick on the edge of the box--and up stepped Mata to send hiz shot ower wor waall and into the top corner of the net to reduce the deficit--- Yoo just knew wot woz comin next az we defended desperatly and just 6 mins later Martial beat Dubravka to level the scores!

We we holdin on now for a point but in injury time Sanchez broke wor hearts with a heeder from close range to send the Moan U muppets wild with delight and us into dispair!

This woz 8 year old grandson Jamie's 5th groond followin The Toon and hiz forst defeat!

On his forst ever visit to SJP we won 3-1 v Wolves in a resorve game when he woz 3!
He then saw us win at Gatesheed and Whitby in friendlies and win 2-1 at Lestaa last season!

WITH 5 GROONDS UNDER HIZ BELT, JAMIE IZ NOW 

A FULLY FLEDGED MEMBER OF 

THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS CLUB!

We travelled back on the train and got yem at '11 bells'!
Never mind Jamie!---So near but yet SO far!

Team line ups and more pix to follow later az am oot on the hoy in a few mins! "Hic!"

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin, Lascelles, Fernandez, Manquillo, Ritchie, Shelvey, Diame, Kenedy (Murphy 68), Perez (Joselu 88), Muto

Attendance: 74,519 (3,000 shell shocked Toon fans!)

Pub crawl pix

"WE'RE ALL GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAY!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 5th October 2018

"DESTINATION THE NORTHUMBERLAND COAST!"

News that 'The Fat Controller' iz NOT sellin NUFC (just a week ago it woz for sale?) and that he will take the players on an exotic summer holiday IF we avoid relegation, were some of the things taaked aboot in Wedinzday's 'Come Dine With Me' meetin' with Rafa and hiz 'gang' in a Pon-tee-land Italian Restaurant!

RAFA ARRIVES FOR HIZ 'NE EXPENSE SPARED' 
'HAPPY HOUR' £5.95 PIZZA!

THE SPANISH CITY, WHITLEY BAY

Whitley Bay

If hiz skinflint transfor policy iz anything to gan by, then Whitley Bay or Seahooses looks to be hiz favourite choice of 'exotic' holiday resorts!---but don't forget to take your brollys, lads!

Seahooses, Northumberland

MEEENWHILE!---we have a 'do or die' leegue meetin with anothaa 'crisis club' tomorrow, when we travel to 'The Theatre of Muppets' to take on Moanrihno's Moan United side tomorrow teatime!

The last time we were here---attendance: 75,000

The difference between the 2 'crisis clubs' iz that 10th position, (where Moan U find themsels), iz NOT good enough for them---BUT! would be greeted with open arms by NUFC fans!

A full 'Geordie Times' match report on wor players 'goal' to get to the 'holy grail' of safety and a promised weeks holiday to the above destinations, will appear here sometime on Sunday!   

BAD BLUE BOYS V CHESTER *** FA CUP 3rd Qualifyin roond

Posted '1:45pm bells' Friday 5th October 2018

Left to right: Manager, Chris Swailes, Captain, Dan Halliday 
and Chairman, Malcolm James

Tomorrow 'The Bad Blue Boys of Dunston' play their biggest game in their history when they take on former leegue side Chester at Federation Park in Dunston in the FA Cup!

Northern Leegue side Dunston, are the lowest ranked team still left in the competition and a photo of the manager, captain and chairman with the FA Cup are featured in the sports section of today's local rag---'The Ronny Gill' (Newcasil Chronicle)

A huge crowd by their standards iz expected (1,500 plus) and Chester are sure to bring a large contingent!

Unfortunately for me, the game clashes with NUFCs away game at Man U and this iz where I will be tomorrow afternoon!

A few of mee mates are gannin to the Dunston game and will update me with any scores!

Best of luck Bad Blue Boys---I WILL be there in spirit!

FINGER LICKIN' BAD!

Posted '2:45pm bells' Thorsday 4th October 2018

Photos of wor 'beloved'? owner givin 'Harvey Smith style gestures' to Toon fans ootside a Ponteland Italian restaurant to the north of Newcasil (pronoonced 'Pon-tee-land') are deein the roonds!

A meetin with Rafa and the 'gang' woz arranged 'to clear the air' in the full glare of a tv crew and paparazzi zoom lenz cameras (how did they find oot?)

News spread like wildfire and before lang the anti 'Fat Controller brigade' were on the scene with their banners!

RAFA ARRIVES FOR HIZ 'HAPPY HOUR' PIZZA!

When wor owner appeared after the meal (a 'finger lickin' £5:95  pizza!---ne expense spared!) he woz heckled and booood by the dozen or so fans who had made a bee-line for Pon-tee-land---and hiz partin gesture az he got into a car, woz to stick 2 fingers up to the protesters!

This tells yoo everything yoo need to know just wot he 'finks' aboot wor fans!

*Harvey Smith woz a showjumper in the 1970s who famously stuck 2 fingers up at judges in a competition!

NUFC ARNT THE ANLY CLUB IN CRISIS!

Posted '12:25pm bells' Wedinzday 3rd October 2018

A SHADOW OF WOR FORMER SELVES!

Ne news, in the case of NUFC, iz bad news, az the silence after an alleged takeover bid haz went 'dead in the waataa', bringin more dispear for the 50,000 faithful!

We arnt the anly club in crisis of course---take 'The Hazbeenz and Villains' ex mackem manager 'Broken Nose' Bruce, who's neck iz on the block, az their fans bay for hiz heed!
A 4th season in The Championship, now looks like becomin reality after just a few games played and 15,000 empty seats at Villa Park!
(We cant say we are sorry aboot this, after they mocked 'us' when we were relegated (twice!)

Ipswich wanted rid of ex mackem manager 'Bent Nose' McCarthy and have foond an even worse manager than him az they sit at the bottom of The Championship!
15,000 empty seats again!

Moan United fans wanted rid of Fergy and now want rid of Moanrhino sharpish, az they flounder in mid table (thoosands of empty seats in The Champions Leegue last neet in the bore draw v Valencia!) ( Be careful wot yoo wish for!)

And then theres the mackems themselves, who had a 'big!, big! game last neet v those 'giants' of futbaall ---PETERBOROUGH UNITED!!?
20,000 empty pink seats for this game, that woz billed 'huge', ended 2-2! (Peterborough United---a big club?---that's how far they have fallen!)
Those othaa 'giants' of the game, Accrington Stanley who had a crowd of 2,000 last neet, now sit level on points with the SMBs in the 3rd 'tear' of Inglish futbaall! "WOW!"

NUFC are heedin that way, if we are not careful, az we are now a shadow of 'The Entertainers' team from the 1990s!

OH FOR A NEW OWNER!----"PLEEEEZE!"

"COME DINE WITH ME!"

Posted '1:25pm bells Munday 1st October 2018

News that wor beloved? owner 'The Fat Controller' who woz loudly "boooooed" at Saturday's game, iz to take Rafa and the players oot for a pizza later this week to 'cut the ice', haz just been reported on Sky telly!

Aalso it haz been reveeeled that Peter Kenyon, who iz reportedly tryin to broker a deal to buy wor great club, shud, "Show him the money!", before any talks can be made!

'The Fat Controller's 'mouth piece' Dennis Wise' The Poison Dwarf' 
⇠(pictured) haz said on ' 'Sky' that "Mike' will only sell the club to someone that will take them forward!" (And not backwards az he haz done for 11 years!)
Much more to follow on aall this on Sky Sports News ne doubt!
We will keep yoo, wor loyal reeeders posted on any developments!

THE TOON 0 THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2018-2019

Posted  'high noon bells' Sunday 30th September 2018

"HISTORY IZ MADE!---BUT FOR AALL THE WRANG REASONS!"

Yoo divvint have to gan to the pictures to watch a horror show! Just gan to *NE1 4ST instead and yoo will see one!

This woz a game we HAD to win, but failed miserably az Lestaa took advantage of wor ineficiancy!
With striker Rondon oot for up to 2 months, it woz left to Joselu and Perez to lead the line once again! ("Oh no!")

We did have chances in the forst half when Joselu woz put clean through by Perez, but dillied and dallied near the goal and a defender toe poked the baall oot for a corner when Joselu shud have had a shot!

Diame then had a free heeder but put hiz effort wide of the goal at The Leazes End!

The misses were to prove costly az a debatable hand baall by Yedlin in the box left Vardy to shoot home from the followin penalty on the half hour mark!

Jonjo Shelvey then had an audasious lob shot from the halfway line but hiz effort woz saved by Shmicel in the visitors goal! (This woz to be wor anly shot on target in the entire match!)

The 2nd half woz terrible from wor point of view and in the 73rd minute the final nail in wor coffin woz hammered home when an unmarked Maguire heeded into the net to send the 3,000 Basil Brush Brigade wild in level 7 of The Leazes End!

Loud chants against 'The Fat Controller' followed, az he sat in the directors box for the forst time in 16 months ---and reports that he had a smirk on hiz face, tells yoo aall yoo need to know aboot him!

8 year old grandson Jamie asked to leave 15 minutes from the end az mee othaa grandson Zac disappeared with hiz daddy doon to the exits, with thoosands of othaa fans!

I told Jamie we had to stay till the bitter end, just in case we got a goal back! (Am I a cruel grandad or wot?)
We DIDNT!--- and history woz made (for aall the wrang reasons!) az we lost the openin 4 home games of a season for the forst time since 1892 (The year NUFC were formed, 126 years ago!)
It woz aalso the forst time since 1896 that we have gone into October withoot a win of any description!---Depressin' times indeed!😨

The anly light at the end of this dark tunnel iz the news that former Man U and Chelski chief executive Peter Kenyon iz brokerin a deal with Rockefeller Capital Management to buy wor great club!---Lets hope its true, or else 'The Championship' beckons us yet again, under 'The Fat Controller's disastrous leadership! (A possible hat-trick of relegations in 10 years!!!)

'WATCH' THIS SPACE!

*NE1 4ST iz NUFC's postcode!
*Explanation: Lestaa are nicknamed 'The Foxes'---Basil Brush iz a fox---get it?

Toon team: Dubravka, Yedlin(Manquillo 80), Lascelles, Clark, Kenedy, Ritchie(Murphy), Shelvey, Diame, Atsu, Joselu, Perez (Muto 69)

Attendance: 51,523 (3,000 Basil Brush foxes)

*

Top to bottom Flag day in The Leazes and Gallowgate Ends 

plus Jamie's backwards cap!