THE TIGER LILLYS 2 THE TOON 2 *** FRIENDLY

Posted '1:42pm bells' Wednesday 25th July 2018

"SAME OLD, SAME OLD!"

Several youngins played in this one, includin Yarney, Roberts, Fernandez and Sterry. The rest of the senior player were here az well from last season, apart from wor South Korean import Ki Sung-yueng.

We took the lead in the 15th minute when Joselu fired into the net from a Shelvey through baall!

Hull levelled things just before the break when Kane tapped in! (NO! not THAT Kane!)

The home side took the lead in the 2nd half after The Toon made several changes, when Evendro vollied home!

The ANLY new face in wor team, Ki Sung-yueng then made hiz debut in the 69th minute and woz key in wor equaliser!
A corner taken by him foond Perez who sidefooted the baall into the net for a late leveller!

(In total 20 players got some game time, 19 who were here last season!)

Toon players who got some game time:
Darlow, Woodman, Yedlin, Sterry, Lascelles, Clark, Yarney, Hayden, Roberts, Manquillo, Shelvey, Sung-yueng, Diame, Fernandez, Murphy, Aarons, Langstaff, Ritchie, Joselu and Perez!😨
Attendance: 5,000 (est)   2,000 or so Toon fans *

Thanx to Glennn from Ashington for pix

THE TIGER LILLYS v THE TOON TOONEET!

Posted '2:10pm bells' Tuesday 24th July 2018

The last time we were here

Leegue Cup qwaataa finals 

December 2016

Lost 3-1 on pens after

stalemate at 1-1

The Toon travel to eest Yorkshire tooneet to take on Hull in wor 2nd forst team pre season friendly!
With still ne breakthrough in the transfor market for a quality striker with less than 3 weeks of the 'window' left, theeze are worryin times for aall Toon fans!
YET AGAIN!---The silence is deafennnin from SJP!

Rumour haz it that season ticket sales are doon by 5,000!

Many fans have had enough and are votin' with their feet aboot 'non transfor activity'!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here in due course!

PS: Mee forst ever visit to Hull woz way back in 1976 @ Boothferry Park and an archive match report from that game 42 years ago, iz printed in the next article doon!
(040 boothferry park, hull)

040 boothferry park hull

(GROUND NUMBER 40)

Date of First Visit: 10th AUGUST 1976

BOOTHFERRY PARK, KINGSTON UPON HULL

HULL CITY 0  NEWCASTLE UNITED 0

ANGLO-SCOTTISH CUP

ATTENDANCE 4,715

"DON'T CROSS THAT RIVER!"

The most famous thing that comes from Hull iz the suspension bridge that spans the Humber, SO l-o-n-g, that when they built the towers at each end they had tih be slightly oot of 'sinc' to allow for the curviture of the Earth!.

After that it's the City's two Rugby League clubs, 'Hull' and 'Hull Kingston Rovers'.

The thord best thing tih come from Hull iz said tih be the nightlife in the city centre where 'stag neets' and 'hen does' dee the roonds (not az good az the Bigg Market or Quayside, though!)

Finally!--wih come to 'Hull City F.C.' who were the 'poor relations' of the city, (in the 1970's at least) and who's 'claim tih fame' iz that they come from the largest city in England NEVER to have had a club in the top flight of the Futbaall League with a population of ower twice that of the Toons! (SOME 'claim'?) 

In the 1970's ah used tih gan tih Hull quite regularly in mee Lorry az R.H.M. Flour Mills who ah worked for in Gatesheed (nuw the new Art Centre next tih the Millenium Brigde) had a mill next tih the River Hull which splits the City of Kingston Upon Hull in half.

This in torn leads to the River Humber and to the North Sea beyond.

Hull Rugby League Club play on the west side of the 'Hull' (az do 'Hull City') and hated arch rivels 'Kingston Rovers' on the east side.

Nuw ah mention this for a very good reason, for RHMs' mill in Hull was on the east side of the river.

One winters day while ah was deliverin' tih the Hull mill, ah went tih the canteen for some 'Desperate Dan'.

Az ah waited in the queue, a mill worker clocked mee Toon scarf that ah was wearin' and said:

"YA ON'T WRONG SIDE OF THE RIVER LADDIE!"---"THE WRONG SIDE!"

That's a strange thing tih say tih somebody, ah thought, so ah asked him what he meant?.

"THIS IS 'ROVERS' SIDE OF THE RIVER, GET BACK TO YER OWN SIDE!", he added pointin' at mee scarf.

Then ah 'tumbled' what he meant!. Coz ah was wearin' a black 'n' white scarf he thought ah was a Hull RFC fan. (who play in black 'n' white hoops!)

"NO!---NO!", This iz a NEWCASTLE UNITED scarf!", ah said, pointin' tih the club crest on the front.

"SORRY MATE!"---THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE OF THEM B*******!", he added az he 'sheepishly' scurried away!,  'Pagger' avoid!, and settled doon tih eat mee 'scran' in peace!.

(Who says anly futbaall fans hate each other?)

Anyway!---Wih combined this midweek trip with a weeks boozin' holiday in 'Sunny Scarborough' and 'sunny' iz the reet word!, coz this was the summer of '76' when the heatwave went on for aboot EIGHT WEEKS!, withoot a drop of rain in sight!. (Oh for 'the good old days'!---in this day and age yi'd be lucky if a 'heatwave' lasted for aboot EIGHT HOURS!) (WHATEVER HAPPENED tih wor SUMMERS?)

Wih based worsels at the 'Granby Hotel', a smaall guest hoose not far from the seafront and on wor forst neet wih went on a 'bender' and got totally 'rat-arsed'! (Az yih de!)

This did'nt gan doon well with the guest hoose owner az 'Dylan' hoyed up on the stair carpet!, 'Santy' fell ower and smashed a potted plant on the forst floor landin'!, someone else (who shall remain nameless!) p***** the bed! (NOT me!) and AH fell asleep in a flower bed! in the front garden coz ah could'nt find mee key! (which was just az well coz ah could'nt waalk and would'nt have been able tih climb the stairs, anyway!)

NOT! the kind of 'bed' ah envisaged a'd be sleepin' in---but a 'bed' just the same!)

(GOOD START---EH!?)

Next day az wih 'tiptoed' doon for 'brekkies', (the manager eventually lerriz in, coz he said ah made the garden look untidy!) there were stoney faces and sore heeds aplenty and apologies aall roond!

Afta wor 'bacon'n'eggs' and black coffees wih made wor way tih the sea front for some fresh air tih stop wor heeds spinnin' and tih sober up from the previous neets 'gargel'!

Ah was the one that had tih drive tih Hull that day and ah insisted on havin' a few hours 'off the hootch' before ah got behind the wheel.

The others agreed AND!----'WENT ON THE HOY!' in the 'Newcastle Packet' (a well named 'waaterin' hole' ower the road from the beach) leavin' me tih 'kick mee heels' ON the beach!

("F*****' C***S!")

"YEE GAN AN' GET THE 'JAM JAR' AND WE'LL WAIT HERE FOR YIH!", shouted 'Burnsy' az he knocked back the forst 'Arthur', withoot touchin' the sides!

(like ah said!---"F*****' C***S!")

Afta a bit 'sulk' ah went back tih wor digs tih get mee 'Escort' which was parked in a side street next tih the guesthoose. Ah 'sneaked' past the front window tih avoid the manager az things were still a bit 'frosty' between us afta the previous neets 'shinanaginz'!

Ah picked the lads up (who were canny sorved again!) and wih heeded for Kingston Upon Hull, some forty miles doon the east coast.

On the way wih stopped of at Bridlington for a 'mid-jorney-gargel', (coke for me a'm afraid!---"sulk!"---"sulk!") but the place was 'deed and full of aad biddies and aad gadgies, so wih did'nt stop lang! (we were just 'young pups' in wor orly 20's)

("ER!"---NUW! (some 40 odd years lata)---WE are the 'AAD gadgies'!)

(Time DOES! fly?---aboot ten thoosand miles an hour!---mee thinx!?)

"IT'S JUST LIKE AN OLYMPIC SPORT!"

Posted '1:47pm bells, Munday 23rd July 2018

'OLYMPIC SPORT' GROOND NUMBER 336!

TRUNGLE PARC, MOUSEHOLE, CORNWALL
(AT JUST 10 MILES FROM LANDS END 
IT'S THE MOST SOUTHERLY FUTBAALL GROOND IN BRITAIN!)

A'v just updated mee list of groonds visited watchin NUFCs various teams and the full list iz printed in the article below this one!

The late Paul Tully who woz the former NUFC programme editor and woz aalso a 'NUFC mad-sad groundhopper' himself, said that collectin' new groonds followin' NUFC woz: 
"JUST LIKE AN OLYMPIC SPORT!"

Paul himself had visited 120 odd groonds watchin' The Toon!
RIP TULLY

THE NEVER ENDIN 'OLYMPIC' MARATHON JUST GANS ON! AND ON!---AND ON!

336 TRUNGLE PARC, MOUSEHOLE

Ground number 336
Date of First Visit: 21st July 2018
Trungle Parc, Paul near Mousehole, Cornwall

Bolton Wanderers U18s  3
Newcastle United U18s  0

Endorsed Cup final
Attendance: 99 (estimated?) 5 mad-sad groundhoppers!) (plus a little doggy in a pram!-honest!)

Mousehole clubhoose!

On gettin to this game I broke the 'world record' for a train jawnee in Ing-er-land followin The Toon!
9 hours 23 minutes from Newcasil to Penzance (28 stops!)
BEAT THAT!

"CORNISH PATSIES!"😨

(Brief match report coz we wornt very good!)

*The Toon U18s were 2nd best az Bolton took the lead after just 4 mins on the clock!
They hit the woodwork twice az they dominated the forst half!

The Toon are in the maroon 

and dark blue hoops

Again after the restart we couldnt get gannin and Bolton increased their lead at the start of the half and with WOR U18s hardly venturing into their half there woz anly gannin to be one winner---and it wasnt 'us'!

It woz 'game ower' not lang after wor oppenents went 3-0 up to win the Endorsed Cup!

                       THE PUB CRAWL STARTED HERE!

AND ENDED BACK HERE!

                                  SOME DAFT PHOTOS!

So mice DO live in Mousehole!😨

The Mousehole clubhoose

tool-shed!

Yiv got to 'hit' the back of the net!

A garden between Mousehole

and Newlyn!

*PS: Aa never made it to Lands End which woz just 10 miles from Mousehole, az I opted to 'gan on the hoy' instead
I flew back from Exeter with 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' and the flight took 50 minutes!

*PPS: There iz ne mention whatsoever aboot this game on the NUFC official website!???

TOON U23s v HAMILTON ACCIES @ STIRLING

Posted '1:11pm bells' Saturday 21st July 2018 @ Mousehole, Cornwall
Updated Sunday neet on Tyneside!

It Haz been conformed by The Geordie Times'z 'club insider' that wor U23s will play Hamilton @ Stirling University tomorrow afternoon @'3 bells' (Sunday)

Personally, aa cant make the game az aa fly back from Exeter tomorrow afternoon at the same time az the game iz played!😨

A match report from wor game this afternoon v Bolton U18s in Mousehole will be posted later!
"Yi cannit de them aall!"

UPDATED SUNDAY NEET!

A Hamilton X1 beat The Toon U23s by 3 goals to 1 this afternoon @ Stirling University's groond, with Ivan Toney scorin the anly goal for us!  In total 21 players got some game time!
Special thanx to Glennn from Ashington for the pix!

Glennn had been to Mousehole in Cornwall yesterday to witness wor U18s 3-0 defeat in the Endorsed Cup final and caught a train to London after the game and then onward to Glasgow by owerneet coach!--and to Stirling (eventually!)
And yoo thought that 'I' woz a mad-sad groundhopper!

Its ironic to say the least that 'I' told Glennn  and others aboot this "hush!, hush! game!" after I had been informed that it would take place by my 'secret club insider'!

BUT! Aa couldnt gan coz mee flight back from Exeter at '3:00 bells this afternoon (after watchin wor U18s game in Mousehole yesterday), meant that I wouldnt be able to get to Stirling for the match, which aalso kicked off at 3!😨

"SODS LAW!"

UPDATED AGAIN ON MUNDAY

Just read the 'Ronny Gill' and there iz ne mention whatsoever aboot the match!???---If yoo didnt read this 'here' then yoo wouldnt know the match had been played!
(Ne mention whatsoever of this game eethaa, on the club's official site???😨) (Aalso there iz ne mention of the U18s games in Mousehole!???)
ie: Read www.geordietimes.com forst, for "hush! hush!" match reports!😊

Footnote: For the benefit of wor owerseas reeders, the 'Ronny Gill' iz Geordie slang for the Newcasil 'Chronice' newspaper!

MOUSEHOLE TOURNAMENT CUP FINAL

Posted '9:45am bells' Saturday 21st July 2018

Tourist attraction one!

Yesterday The Toon U18s beat 'uddersfield U18s to reach the final of The Endorsed Cup where we will meet Bolton U18s who beat Mousehole FC 4-1 last neet!
We based worsels in Penzance last neet, which iz 5 mikes from Mousehole and az yid expect we visited the local tourist attractions!

Tourist attraction two!

A full match report will appear here sometime this evenin' or tomorrow
The match kicks off at '2:00pm bells'

Tourist attraction three!

(1:00am bells!😨)

*

"LANDS END! LANDS END! HERE WE COME!

Posted '1:07pm bells' Friday 20th July 2018

A PENALTY SHOOTOUT AT MOUSEHOLE LAST SEASON!

Today NUFC U18s will make history when they play a game v 'uddersfield U18s in a place caalled Mousehole in Cornwall in The Endorsed Cup with 4 teams takin part. 'uddersfield U18s, Bolton U18s, The Toon U18s and the home club Mousehole FC

The groond iz just 10 miles from Lands End and iz the most southerly groond on the British mainland!

TRUNGLE PARK, MOUSEHOLE ON 
A NON MICE MATCH DAY!

'Little old me' iz writin' most of this on the '11:42am bells' train from Newcasil to Penzance, az I am gannin for the 2nd game on Saturday, when wor U18s play ethaa Bolton U18s or Mousehole FC at ethaa '11:00am bells or '2:00pm bells' at Trundle Park, Mousehole (kick off time, dependin on wor result later today at '4:00pm bells'  (I will be approx half way there az the match v 'uddersfield iz in progress this afternooon!)

'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' iz at todays game and will text me the score az I sit with mee 8 cans of hootch, to get me through the 9 hour plus train ride!

Match report on tomorrows game sometime tomorrow neet!

PS  Av got loads of time to finish the Barrow and St Pats match reports
---9 hours (plus!) actually!😨🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺 That meenz av got to make each can last 70 minutes on average!😥

PPS Just started mee 4th can at Bormingham---its got to last unil '4 25 bells' under mee 'rations system'!😨

UPDATE AT 8:00PM BELLS

The Toon U18s won 3-0 with goals from Cole, White and Young to reach the final tomorrow where they will play eetha Bolton U18s or hosts Mousehole FC (who are playin az I write this at Par  station, Cornwall  (not lang to gan now!😨)

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS OUTRAGE!

Posted ''4:00am bells' Thorsday 19th July 2018

The draw for the Checkatrade Trophy haz been made and to the fury of 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' wor resorve U21s have been drawn against 3 teams who's groonds we have been te before and 2 of them wear the famous black n white stripes!
We travel to Donny Rovers, Notts Coonty and Grimsbee in the next couple of months instead of Fleetwood, Rochdale and Macclesfield, where we have never been before!

'The Dibble' have aalso interfered with the forst roond draw and have prevented a possible clash between sund'lind's forst team and The Toon's U21 side, fearin that NUFC fans will take the P**s!
 (Az if we would!😅)

But just suppose that both sund'lind and NUFC U21s progress to the final!
What will they do then!!!???

Its a fix! its a fix! its a fix!

                                                     "Hello! Northumbria police here!
                            There's no way that Newcasil reserves can play sund'lind's first team!"

335 richmond park, st patricks athletic

Ground number 335
Date of First Visit: 17th July 2018
Richmond Park, Dublin

St Patricks Athletic 0
Newcastle United 2 (Longstaff, Atsu (pen)

Friendly fixture
Attendance: 5,000 (est)
(Most of them Toon fans)


DISASTER DAYS! (part 66!)
"THE FERRY JAWNEE FROM HELL!!!"😨

ATSU PENALTY

This woz mee 335th groond and worst expierience ever for things gannin wrang!
To cut a very VERY! long story short we left Barrow on the '4:50am bells' train and arrived ootside St Pats groond some 14hours 25minutes later! (We'd seen wor U23s beat Barrow 3-2 the neet before!)
(I will explain aall when aa get more time---doin this sittin in Dublin airport waitin for flight back to Toon!)

After a very quick pint in the 'Tom  Tavey', not far from the groond we went in to see the stands and terraces packed with mainly Toon fans in their black n white garb!

We took up wor positions behind the goal with seconds to spare and straight away The Toon went for 'the jugular'

Az per usual in theeze games there were 2 teams playin (for 'us') in each half and a total of 20 players got some game time!
We eventually took the lead in the 41st minute when Saun Langstaff hit a raspin left footer into the corner of the net!

We had to wait til near the end of the 2nd period for wor 2nd goal when a penalty woz awarded for a foul in the box on Dwight Gayle!
Kenedy wanted to take it BUT Atsu did az well and 'hid' the baall up hiz shirt!

 Atsu then put the baall on the spot and hit the baall doon the centre of the goal past Murphy in the St Pats goal to secure the win!

The match ticket!

TOON TEAM(S)
1st half: Darlow, Manquillo, Lejeune, Yarney, Aarons, Ritchie, Diame, Langstaff, Fernandez, Perez, Joselu

2nd half: Sels, Yedlin, Clark, Yarney, Roberts, Shelvey, Atsu, Langstaff, Armstrong, Kenedy, Gayle

Much more on wor horredous jorney when aa get back yem
Cheers! Fink

THE JAWNEE FROM HELL TIMELINE:
'Midneet bells': After the Barrow game we heeded for The Furness Railway bar where we were eventually chucked oot coz they were closin'!

We were told that there WOZ a bar nearby that woz open til '3:30am bells' caalled Traditions, so we heeded there at 'breakneck speed'! (Divvint tell wor lass az aa told hor that I would be tucked up in the hotel bed by 12!)

After a session 'there' it woz time for some rest and we then dragged worsels to the train station to catch the forst train oot of town at '4:50am bells' and then 'onward' to Holyheed to catch the 11:30am fast ferry to Dublin which takes 2 hours!

'10:55am bells'
The train pulled in 20 minutes late but we still had ower half an hour to catch the ferry we were booked on!
And then!!!---horror upon horror!----the 30 odd people on the delayed train were telt that CHECK IN HAD CLOSED AND WE COULDN'T GET ON THE FERRY!!! 
Aall hell then broke lose az many needed to catch THAT ferry---includin' 'us'!

Wor protests were aall in vain and we very reluctently booked on the next ferry at '2:00pm bells'
This ferry woz 'the slow one' which takes ower 3 hours to get to Dublin!

'12:45pm bells'
We make sure that we will catch this one and check in orly!
'1:00pm' we board the bus to take us to the ferry BUT it gets stopped at the entrance to the ferry alang with loads of trucks and we wait and wait---and wait!
Glennn from Ashington starts panickin az time iz gettin on!
1 hour later and after chokin on the exaust fumes we eventually board the ferry late at it leaves at '2:30pm bells'

'5:40pm bells'
We arrive in Dublin BUT are told that because there are so many foot passangers (coz they couldnt get on the last ferry!) that we would have to wait to dissembark!

We are eventually 'allowed' to leave and board the bus to the centre of Dublin!

Passengers have everything from huge suitcases, prams and double base instraments with them! and we can hardly move an inch!
One lass with a pram asks me to move, but I told hor that there woz a window in the way and I wasnt gannin to smash my way through it just so she could 'park hor porple pram'!

SPOT THE DOUBLE BASE AND THE PORPLE PRAM!

We'd contacted 'John from Ireland' and hiz son Ciaran to get us some tram tickets so we wouldnt have to queue and by the time the bus got to the city centre at '6:50pm bells' the tram ticket were invalid az they had a 90minute time limit on them that ran oot at '6:45pm bells'! (I know!---yi couldnt possibly make it up--could yi?)

The tram ticket says its valid til 18:44

but its now 18:50!😨

A taxi woz then hailed and got us to the groond with barely half an hour to spare at '7:15pm bells' and we dived into Tom Taveys bar for a quick liquid lubrication before the '7:45pm bells' kick off! The jawnee from Barrow had taken us ower FOURTEEN HOURS!😨
See match report above!

Toon fans John from Ireland and hiz son Ciaran enjoy a celebratory drink in 'Coffy's

after the game!

After the match we heeded for Coffey's bar alang the road from the groond and then finished off in The Confession Box in the centre of Dublin next to wor hotel

And I had a confession to make!  I woz absoluutlee worn oot by this time!

PS: I flew back on Munday and it took 50 minutes which woz less time than we were stuck on the bus at the ferry port!!!😨