A BARROW LOAD OF TROUBLE!

Posted 'high noon bells' Munday 18th Joon 2018

Havin aalready booked the flight on the Munday mornin' of July 16th to Dublin for wor forst team game against St.Patricks Athletic on the Tuesday, we then find oot that wor U23s are playin' at Barrow on the Munday we travel to Dublin!

Az a'v nevaa been to Barrow's groond before, which iz a former leegue groond, it woz with long thought and careful consideration (aboot 5 seconds!) that I decided to 'bin' the flight to Dublin and catch the train to Barrow instead on the same day!
After the match in Barrow it's anothaa train orly the next mornin to Holyhead via Warrington---and then onward by ferry to Dublin!

A bit of a carry on, but bein a former leegue side, Barrow's Holker Street groond iz one a'v aalways wanted to tick off 'mee list'!

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' await with trepidation to anymore fixtures planned that may 'clash' with aalready booked travel arrangements!😨

NUFC FIXTURES 2018-2019

Posted '2:00pm bells' Thorsday 14th Joon 2018

ST. JAMES' PARK FROM LEAZES PARK!

"De Va Ju!"

Wor openin game of the new season iz at home to Sporz, which iz exactly the same az last season!
Then its The Taffy Noses away in their retorn to the top flight!
At Xmas time we are away to The Liverbirds on Boxin Day and at home to Moan U on New Years Day
Then in February we gan groundhoppin' to Sporz new abode, which iz next door to their old one!

Because of copyright laws we will publish the fixtures in Geordie Times 'cryptic code'

Of course many fixtures will be moved for live telly and we wont find that oot for anothaa 3 to 4 weeks!
Aall games (at present!) are Saturday '3 bells' kick offs, unless stated! 
(We 'fink' that at least 25 of wor 38 games will be moved)

KEY: GOLD=HOME GAME   PINK=AWAY GAME

2018 AUG
11 SPORZ   H
18 THE TAFFY NOSES  A
25 CHELSKI  H
SEP
01 THE BLUE MOONIES  A
15 THE ARSE  H
22 THE CRYSTAL BAALLS  A
29 THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE  H
OCT
06 MOAN U  A
20 NE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN  H
27 SOOOTHAMPTON  A
NOV
03 WOTFAAD  H
10 BOURNEMOOOTH  H
24 BORNLEE  A
DEC
01 THE JELLIED EELS MOB  H
05 (WED) THE TOFFEE NOSES  A
08 WULVZZ  H
15 'UDDERSFEEELD  A
22 FULIM  H
26 (WED) THE LIVERBIRDS  A
29 WOTFAAD  A
2019 JAN
01 MOAN U  H
12 CHELSKI  A
19 THE TAFFY NOSES  H
30 (WED) THE BLUE MOONIES  H
FEB
02 SPORZ  A (NEW GROOND!)😁
09 WULVZZ  A
23 'UDERSFEEELD  H
27 (WED)  BORNLEE  H
MAR
02 THE JELLIED EELS MOB  A
09 THE TOFFEE NOSES  H
16 BOURNEMOOOTH  A
30 THE ARSE  A
APR
06 THE CRYSTAL BAALLS  H
13 THE BASIL BRUSH BRIGADE  A
20 SOOOTHAMPTON  H
27 NE WHERE NEAR BRIGHTIN  A
MAY
04 THE LIVERBIRDS  H
12 (SUN) FULIM  A

"HAVE YOO EVER SEEN A mACKEM IN MOSCOW?"

Posted '4:00am bells' Thorsday 14th Joon 2018

"From Rushaa with Luz!" 

RED SQUARE, MOSCOW

The World Cup kicks off in Moscow @ '4 bells' this afternoon in the MAGnificent Luzhniki Stadium, which will aalso host the final!
'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have of course been there before (az yi'd expect!) when we played Anzi Makhachkala in the Europa Leegue (roond of 16) in a near desorted stadium az Anzi play in a war zone 1,000 miles away to the east of Moscow! (hence why the game woz played there!)

In total 73 Toon fans managed to get visas plus 30 Russians who aalso supported us!
The crowd woz 5,000 or so in this 78,000 seater stadium!

Below iz a match report from that game  (ground 298 on the list!)

THE ANZI MAKHACHKEMS 0 THE TOON 0

Updated '9:40pm bells' Saturday 9th March 2013

(Ground number 298)
Date of First Visit: 7th March 2013
Luzhniki Stadium, Moscow, Russia

Anzi Makhachkala  0
Newcastle United 0

Europa League round of 16 1st leg

(Brief trip report---more to follow much later!)

The lang trip to Rushaa started off on the Wednesday mornin' @ '3:30 bells' when the taxi pulled up and we were whisked off to Toon Airport for the '6 bells' flight to Brussels.

From there we boarded wor next flight not lang after landin' and arrived in Moscow some 12 hours after leavin' Tyneside.
Customs waz suprizingleee easy to get through, (which we didn't expect) and we were soon on wor way to wor hotel which waz an hours train ride away plus havin' to negotiate THREE Metro lines to get there!<(it waznt easy!)<(it waz aall in Rushan!)

It waz in the middle of newhere next to a buildin' site and after a quick wash n brush up it waz doon to the bar for a quick pint before heedin' off to Red Square!
Unbelieviblee it waz ower NINE QUID a pint and so I opted to stay 't-total' until we reached Red Square!<(a'd anly brung £100 spendin' money, thinkin' that that would be enough!)

One taxi ride later and we were there, but it wasnt cheap there eetha, with beer between four and six quid a pint!

Next day it waz match day and we decided to gan to the groond orly to suss the place oot before heedin' across Moscow to visit Locomotiv Moscow's groond in the suborbs!

"IF YIV EVER WONDERED WHY LOCOMOTIV MOSCOW
ARE SO CAALLED***THEN NOW YI NAA!"

Temperatures were reportedly minus ten in the bitin' wind and so (az yi de!) several liquids were consumed before heedin' back to Red Square for the afternoon session.
From there it waz onward to the match which kicked off at '9 bells' local time (5 in England)

TOON FANS TAKE OWER THE LONDON GRILL
NEXT TO MOSCOW'S RED SQUARE!

70 odd faithful who had managed to get visas in time were in the away section behind the goal, plus a fortha 30 or so Rushans who were there to support us, givin us a total followin' of ower 100!

SOME OF THE 73 TOON FANS---LOOKIN TOWARDS
THE ANZI FANS IN THE MAIN STAND

Anzi fans were in the main stand and there looked to be 4 or 5,000 of them who had made the thoosand mile jorney from Dagestan az the match kicked off, with the rest of the 78,000 seater stadium totally empty!




"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE!?"
(Apart from the 'Secret Police'!)

The temperature had dropped sharply by this time and mee 'plates of meat' were startin' to freeze up, despite iz havin' two pairs of thick socks on!
And az predicted by us, an understrength Toon X1 side started the game. (see team line up below)

The forst half waz az borin' az it gets and the anly action of note waz when Rob Elliot in The Toon goal tipped a shot ower the bar near the end of the half!
The plastic pitch didnt help of course and the 2nd half wasnt much better although Ben Arfa makin' hiz retorn after injury shud have done better when he tried to chip their keeper in front of the 73 Toon fans!
 Obertan aalso had a rare shot that he blazed ower the bar but that waz aboot it and we look forward to the 2nd leg next Thorsday @ St James'

Toon team: Elliot, Simpson, Yanga, Perch, Haidara, Cabaye (Tiote 84), Anita (Steve Taylor 75), Ben Arfa (Shola Ameobi 64), Marveaux, Obertan, Sissoko 

Attendance: 5,000 (73 Toon fans plus 30 Rushan Geordies az mentioned!)

It waz then back to Red Square for somemore liquid refrehments before heedin' back to the hotel in the orly hours!

By the next day the 'bit' had run oot and we had to get some more to satisfy wor 'thirst requirements'! and it waz then the 'torturous' jorney back yem via the Moscow Metro/train/2 flights and then WOR Metro from Toon Airport and finally a bus from 'the Central' and I arrived at mee front door @ '10:30 pm bells last neet totally 'cream crackered'!--"ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!" 

More fotoz from Rushaa!

^"IZ THIS BLACKPOOOL IN DISGUISE!?"^



NUFC FIXTURES OOT TOMORROW

Posted '1:00pm bells' Wednesday 13th Joon 2018

Just one day to gan til 'the big day'---and NO!---a'm not taakin aboot the World Cup!
A'm on aboot the Premyaa Leegue fixture list for next season, which are released tomorrow mornin' @ '9 bells'!

A view of SJP from West Street, Gatesheed

Of course many of them will be changed for live telly, but at least we will get an idea of the approximate dates!

The Geordie Times doesnt have  copyright  ower the fixtures, SO we will have to de them in cryptic code (az per usual) to avoid any infringements or fines!😨

Watch this space tomorrow and we will guarantee that we will be last again to inform yoo, wor loyal subjects, of the impendin' dates!

STAN ANDERSON RIP

Posted '2:55 pm bells' Tuesday 12th Joon 2018

It iz with great sadness that we hear of  former Toon skipper Stan Anderson's passing!

Stan was captain of wor 1964-65 promotion winnin team (az champions)
Indeed, Stan played in mee forst ever visit to St. James' Park in the orly 60's v Coventry

He woz 85 years old and died on Sunday!

Uniquely he aalso captained both the mackems and the smoggies!---- The anly player to captain aall 3 clubs!

RIP Stan

TOON PAIR WIN WORLD CUP!

Posted '11:25am bells' Sunday 10th Joon 2018

Congratulations to Ing-er-land and Toon players Freddie Woodman and Adam Armstrong in particular, for winnin' the U21s World Cup in Toulon yesterday!

Ing-er-land came from a goal behind against Mexico in the final to win 2-1 with goals from Deal Fry and Kieran Dowell to lift the trophy for the thord time in a row!

Well done lads!

TIME NEARLY UP!

Posted '1:45pm bells' Wednesday 6th Joon 2018

Today's front page

in the 'Ronny-Gill'

News that a stalemate haz been reached in Rafa's contract negotiations reaches us!

Just why NUFC wont tie him doon to an extended contract iz annoyin' and frustratin to say the least!

2 months of talks seem to have hit a brick waall and no new signings are in the offing with the new season fast approachin!

Life iz nevaa easy under wor absent owner!---IZ IT!!?

"JESUS LOVES US!"😊

Posted '9:30pm bells' Munday 4th Joon 2018

MARTIN'S A MAG!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 31st May 2018

Az per usual 'The Geordie Times' iz one day behind with the news, but we are delighted to tell yoo that Sparta Prague's on loan Slovakian international goalie,29 year old Martin Dubravka, haz signed a 4 year deal, reported to be in the region of £5 million quid!

We can anly assume that he haz signed because 'Rafa the Gaffer' haz had assurances aboot hiz future from NUFC!

The forst signin' of many we hope!?

Today's 'Ronny-Gill'!