SPECULATION ACROSS THE GEORDIE NATION!

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 3rd January 2018

Speculation and rumours that wor 'beloved'?owner, known affectionately to Toon fans az 'The Fat Controller' iz ready to sell the club to 'Amanda's mob' have been dein the rounds yesterday and today and that its a 'done deal'!

Its been reported that the BBC haz excluuusive rights to break the news on Saturday!

Personally I wont believe it until 'Yee naa who' flies off in hiz helicoptaa --NEVER to be seen again!!!😨

THE P*SS POTTS OF STOKE 0 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 2nd January 2018

1st half action az NUFC attack 'The Boothen End'
(The Toon are in the light blue strip)

"The nevaa endin NUFC roller coaster ride!"

One week we are on 'a low' and the next week we are on 'a high' az the roller coaster takes us doon---and then back up again az results eethaa gan 'against us' (like the weekend just gone!) OR 'for us' like yesterday at Stoke!

Lets be honest here, the last 2 performances have been riddled with missteakz, v Brightin on Saturday when we drew 0-0 in a shockin game---and yesterday against anothaa poor side, which we won 1-0, thanx to a goal from Perez, wor number 17, with 17 minutes left on the clock!
Within the space of a few days we have risen from 3rd bottom to 13th top on the NUFC roller coaster ride!

The day started off at '7:30 am bells' where a taxi whisked me to 'The Central' for the train(s) to Stoke. After changes at York and Manchester, we arrived in The Potteries at '11:50am bells' and heeded for the hotel bar ower the road from the train station for the forst 'liquid lubrications' of the day (er! that's apart from the 4 cans aa drank on the way doon) <(now that WILL shock the "Dry January Brigade!" (see article below this)

It woz then a £10 taxi ride to Longton Rugby Club which woz a mile and a half south of the ground, where we partook in several more 'liquid lunches' (it woz dinnaatime by then!)

It had started rainin' by the time we set off on the lang trek to the away tornstiles and 25 minutes later we were in 'the dry' of the stadium concourse az Toon fans hoyed beer ower each othaa, rather than drink it az you're supposed to do!? (not so DRY after aall!)

The game kicked off and the forst thing we noticed woz that Atsu and Perez were up front in a new tactical move by 'Rafa the Gaffer'
It worked fairly well az the insistent rain bleached doon in a howlin' gail in a half dominated by 'us'
Clark missed an open goal from 1 yard and somehow managed to put the baall ower the bar when it looked much easier to tap it in!?-'--We simply couldn't make the breakthrough az we attacked the far 'Boothen End' and went in goalless at the halftime interval!

Durin' the interval we hord with great sadness that one of wor number had passed away on New Years Eve.
He woz known az 'Gordon the Gloves' az he aalway wore white gloves to matches  RIP Gordon

Action at 'The Sharp End' in torrential rain (2nd half)

In the 2nd half we attacked 'The SHARP End' where the 3,200 Toon fans were housed and Shelvey went close with a free kick just outside the box az the Toon faithful cheered the team on!

Stoke's main stand

The vital breakthrough came in the 73rd minute when a wayward pass from a 'P*ss Potters' defender foond the feet of Murphy on the edge of the box---He 'fed' Perez inside the box and he applied A SHARP finish past Ing-er-land goalie Butland at 'The SHARP End' to give us the lead!

We went wild az we knew that one goal could win it and at least 3 vital saves from Darlow in The Toon goal at the far end near 'the end' of the match, secured the 3 points to propel us up the table!

The Toon attack the far goal az Officer Dibble watches on!

The Toon fans then 'took the p*ss oot of 'The P*ss Potters' with chants of "You're getting sacked in the mornin'!" towards Stoke's beleaguered manager Mark Hughes!---and the Stoke fans joined in az they pointed towards the home dugout!!! 

It WASNT pretty futbaall---but who cared az we set off on the '3 trains' jorney yem!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Manquillo, Shelvey, Diame, Murphy (Dummett 82), Atsu (Gayle 64), Ritchie, Perez (Hayden 90)

Attendance: 28,471 (3,200 happy Toon fans!)

"LETS HAVE A BEVVY IN JANU-ERY @ STOKE

Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards! New Years Day 2018

Followin on from wor "Lets gan on a bender in November and December!" campaign we are startin off a new one in defiance of the "Dry January!" brigade!

"Lets have a bevvy in Janu-ery!"

Hotel bar opposite Stoke train station

Longton Rugby Club Bar--

Lang waalk to groond from here!

FT Won 1  0  Perez!

13th in table!

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"☺

Full match and "bevvy" report tomorrow dinnaatime!

THE P*SS POTTERSS v THE TOON **** THIS AFTERNOOON

Posted 7:00am bells New Years Day 2018

We are off to Stoke in less than 2 hours time and shud be there by 'high noon bells' for yet anothaa nail bitin game at the bottom end of the table!
The P*ss Potts lost 5 0 at Chelski on Saturday, but played their resorve side az they thought they had ne chance of beatin them!
ie: they 'fink' theyve got more chance of beatin us and are playin a full strength team today!

Lets hope it backfires spectacually on them and that WE  can win away for the 2nd game in a row!
We shall soon find oot!
A full match report will appear here sometime tomorrow!

"HAPPY NEW YEAR TO AALL WOR REEEDERS!"

THE TOON 0 (NE WHERE NEAR) BRIGHTIN 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:02am bells' Sunday 31st December 2017

"FROM 'ENTERTAINERS' TO 'NO BRAINERS'!"

Yet anothaa aaful home performance against a so caalled 'lesser team' ended scoreless az 52,000  plus watched on in 'sleep mode'!

We did have a few chances when Merino fired wide twice at The Gallowgate End and Gayle's 'cross/shot' woz well saved by Brightin keeper Ryan--but 'that woz it' for the forst half!

The 2nd period wasnt much better with the 'highlights' bein Hayden's shot which woz well saved by Ryan who tipped hiz shot roond the post and a Gayle heeder aboot 20 mins later, again well saved by the Brightin keeper!

From 'entertainers' to 'no brainers' in the space of 20 years iz hard to believe!

Both teams were az bad az each othaa az time after time possession woz  lost after 2 or 3 passes az the clock agonisingly 'ticked by' in 'slow mode'! ( no goals for 'us' in the last 3 home games and no goals for Brightin in their last 5 away games!)
(2 teams who came up from The Championship, playin' 'Championship futbaall'!)

Othaa results at the bottom went against us az well, and 3 of the teams beneath us have games in hand az we sit just 4 points off the very bottom of the table!

Thats 6 home games in a row withoot a home win and just ONE point from 18 with the 'trapdoor' just beneath us!

The last 9 years in particular have been depressin to say the least---relegation, promotion, relegation, promotion and yet anothaa relegation battle because of lack of funds for the managers, in that time!

It seems that The Fat Controller will NEVAA LORN az hopes of a takeover recede az the days pass--dont forget he wanted rid of the club by Xmas and its the new year tomorrow, with (seemingly) no progress made!

We of course travel to The P*ss Potts of Stoke tomorrow who lost 5-0 at Chelski yesterday!---anothaa 6 pointer---but will we win it?
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!?" lets hope so!

Toon team: Darlow,Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Ritchie (Perez 72), Hayden, Merino (Shelvey 76), Atsu, Joselu (Murphy 85), Gayle

Attendance: 52, 209 (2,200 Brightin fans)
*
The "Lets gan on a bender in December!" 'crusade' continued at various locations includin' The Leazes End Club, The Bodega and 'The Premier Inn bar' on Newgate Street (would yoo believe!) 

THE GEORDIE TIMES 'GOLDEN JUBILEE'!

Posted 10:30am bells' Saturday 30th December 2017

Exactleee 50 years ago today, 'me', Fink 'the mad-sad groundhopper' visited mee forst away groond, which woz the derby match at Joker Park on December 30th 1967!

Below iz a match report on that game, aall them years ago!

It makes me feel quite old!---now where DID aa put mee zimmer frame?

002 joker park 5under1and

(GROUND NUMBER 2)

Date of First Visit: 30th DECEMBER 1967
JOKER PARK, 5UNDER1AND

BLUNDERLAND 3
NEWCASTLE UNITED 3 (Ollie Burton 2 pens, John McNamee)
(OLD) DIVISION ONE
ATTENDANCE 46,030 (10,000 Toon fans)






"THE MORAL OF THE STORY!"

"sha-la-la-la-McNamee!"

The 'mackems and the tackems', the 'Weaze Keys are Theaze' brigade or the S.M.B.'s,
(caall them wot you will!?)
Mee forst visit tih Joker Park was aalso mee forst ever away game watchin' the Toon. Me and a lad who lived ower the road caalled 'Denny' travelled doon on the train tih Seaburn Station from 'The Central' for this 'festive fixture'.
Mee auntie Elsie had knitted iz a huge black 'n' white woolly scarf as a Christmas present, which was aboot TEN foot lang and twice the size of me!, plus a 'much tooo big' woolly pom pom hat which aa wore for the occasion!
A'd first worn the scarf on the Boxin' Day fower days orlier when we beat the mackems 2-1 at St James' in front of 60,000 and aa was hopin' that it would be a good omen for the retorn match at 'Joker' (fingers (& knittin') crossed!)


The train was packed to the rafters, with kiddas climbin' into the luggage racks above the seats to avoid the crush, as it was standin' room anly. When we arrived at the groond which was a canny waalk from the station, there were thoosands of Newcastle fans tryin' tih get into the Fulwell End.
Some had marched roond to the newly opened 'black cat supporters club' which was built on stilts at the back of the main stand and 'The Leazes End Boot Boys' duly 'christened it' by hoyin' some 'half wollaz' (bricks!) through the plate glass windows!


The game was'nt aall ticket back then and yih could just pay on the day at the turnstiles! (2 bob for kids) (10p!)

Once inside the groond, ah noticed that the fans were split 50-50 doon the middle of the terraces, with the Toon fans on the left hand side of the the Fulwell goal and the mackems on the other side. It was wot yi would caall 'self segregation', and the fans just went where they wanted, and stood with their 'own kind', which is unthinkable these days!. (especially at a Derby match against 'the sworn enemy'!) Amazingly, the attendance was just ower 46,000 which was well below the groonds capacity at the time. (aroond 60,000)


'Joker' consisted of three covered stands and the huge open Joker End at the far side which fell away at a curious angle from the back. The Fulwell End had a high pitched roof and the wooden main stand to wor left was a double deck affair with a standin' paddock at the front, while the tiny Clock Stand to wor right had a low roof with a big clock in the middle (beleeeve it or not!)

There was a fantastic atmosphere just before kick off, with the Toon fans singin' a little ditty towards the mackems to the tune of 'The Beatles' classic 'Yellow Submarine', which went sommik like: "We all p**s in a red 'n' white pot!"
(it was aall good natured hatred back then!) (note: in them days people used to keep a chamber pot underneath their beds in case they were 'caught short' durin' the neet!)


'The Toon' ran oot wearin' their aall blue change strip, to huge roars from the 10,000 travellin' contingent and the match started off at a frantic pace.
We went aheed in the 13^th minute when centre forward 'Wyn the Leap' was brought doon in the box by Charlie Hurley and the ref pointed straight to the penalty spot. Ollie Burton stepped up stepped up to take the kick and slotted the baall past the despairin' Montgomery in the mackem goal to send the travellin' Geordies wild!


However!---on the half hour mark the mackems equalised when 'Suggett the Nuggett' (as the Toon fans caalled him!) looped the baall past Gordon Marshall in the Newcastle goal---------we'd hardly recovered from this when 'the Nuggett' (er!---that's 'nuggett' as in 'thick b*****d' and NOT as in 'gold'!) struck again after a mad scramble in wor box and he toe poked home from close range as aa held mee 'heed in mee hands' in despair!


With just two minutes of the second half gone, horror upon more horror!, the mackems increased their lead tih three-one when Bruce Stuckey 'stuck' his foot oot to steer the baall past Marshall and ah thought, "wi'v lost it nuw!" and aa pulled mee woolley hat ower mee 'mince pies', as aa could'nt bear ti look!

And so, with aboot ten minutes tih gan, me and mee mate Denny made a fatal mistake!, thinkin' that we had 'lost it', wi decided tih head back tih Seaburn tih beat the crowds, and catch the train yem.
As wih reached the bottom of the stairs at the back of the Fulwell End, there was a huge roar!. Somebody had obviously scored---but WHO?.
The sight of a Toon fan at the top of the stairs, jumpin' up 'n' doon gave us the answer!. Wih hesitated for wot seemed like ages and decided tih gan back in ti see if we could get an equaliser, but as we were half way up the stairs there was another huge roar, and again, wih did'nt naa who'd scored?.

A mackem, who was comin' doon the stairs, telt wih in a dispairin' voice that Newcastle had equalised!. (Can yih imagine THAT happenin' nuw??) (Yi'd probably get a smack in the gob!) and me and Denny danced wildly on the Fulwell stairs!
Just after that, the final whistle went and the crowds came pourin' oot---wi'd missed the goals, but at least wih did'nt get beat!. The celebrations were in full swing as wih headed back tih the station!.
Some 'Leazes Enders' were that exited that they started to rip the train seats oot and hoy them oot the doors and windows onto the tracks! (mee forst 'eye witness acoont' of futbaall hooligans on the rampage!)

Later on, wih heard that Ollie Burton had scored wor second goal by convertin' another penalty, and that Centre Half, 'Big John' McNamee had scored the late equaliser, and celebrated by swingin' off the crossbar!---which later on went doon in 'Geordie Folklore'
(He was built like a brick 's***hoose', so just how the crossbar did'nt break is anybody's guess!?)


Tih make matters worse, the match was'nt? f*****' televised, and so aa could'nt even watch a 'replay' of the game on 'Shoot'! (the name of the Tyne Tees Telly futbaall programme which used to be shown in them days)


And the moral of the story izzz!:
NEVER!---EVER!---LEAVE THE MATCH BEFORE THE FINAL WHISTLE!
©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)◄(work it oot!) caall them what yih will!, but tih me they'll aalways be 'The Jokers from Roker', even though they divvint play there ne more!.

THE TOON v (NE WHERE NEAR) BRIGHTIN **** SATURDAY AFTERNOOON!

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Friday 29th December 2017
Updated '10:15am bells' Saturday

The west end of Newcasil iz covered in heavy snow!

(Pic taken at 11:00am bells, Friday)

SJP iz just to the right of the tower blocks---somewhere!

"WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES!

(Pic taken 10:15am bells' Saturday!)

Friday's post
Heavy snow haz enveloped Tyneside az we speak, but there shud be a respite by tomorrow mornin', which iz good news for fans of both The Toon and Brightin, who will have 2,200 fans travellin up from the south coast for tomorrow afternoon's fixture at SJP!

The game iz a complete selloot in this 'must win game' for both clubs hoverin ower the relegation zone!
Indeed, this game and the one at Stoke on New Years day will define wor season and see which direction we are headin'!

As mentioned many times before, we reely must strenthen wor team or else we will be in serious trouble!----We can anly hope that wor 'beloved'? owner iz listenin!?

Updated Saturday
And the next day, brilliant sunshine greets us az we drag wor lifeless bodies oot of wor 'scratchers'!
3 points pleeeeze, lads! 

THE TOON 0 THE BLUE MOONS 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Thorsday 28th December 2017

A totally expected result az 'Rafa the Gaffer' played a very defensive team to try and stop the Man City juggernaught!
It nearly worked az we were pinned doon in wor own half for virtually the whole of the forst half az The Blue Moonies laid seige to wor goal az we defended the Gallowgate End

The breakthrough and anly goal came in the 31st minute when a De Bruyne chip foond Sterling who volley the baall past Rob Elliot in the Toon goal!

We HAD to attack now and the closest we came to scorin came just 3 mins after the goal when Aarons chipped a baall ower the City defence which woz agonisingly cleared off the line at The Leazes End!

THE TOON LAUNCH A RARE ATTACK AT THE LEAZES END (1st half)

We managed to get to half time with just the one goal deficit in the most one sided half I have even seen at SJP from the opposition!

We were a bit better in the 2nd period az wor visitors took their foot off the gas and we nearly snatched an undesorved point near the end when an Atsu cross foond the heed of Dwight Gayle, but hiz effort went just wide in the last minute of the game!
Just before this, Gayle, who had came on for Joselu in the 62nd minute aallso had a penalty appeal torned doon az the ref booked him for divin'!--a right decision az it torned oot!

SHELVEY PREPARES TO TAKE A FREE KICK AT THE GALLOWGATE END

This woz wor worst run of defeats at home (5 in a row!) since 1953 (even before I woz born!)

The result leaves us in the same position of 15th, but just ONE point above the bottom 3!---Wor home game against struggling Brightin on Saturday and Stoke away on New Years Day will surely define which direction we are heedin'!

Az there haz been ne takeover yet it iz now time for wor beloved? owner 'The Fat Controller' to spend a bit of hiz billions in the January transfor window!---although we arnt confident that he will!!!

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Mbemba (Merino 77), Lascelles, Dummett, Manquillo, Aarons (Atsu 71), Diame, Shelvey, Murphy, Joselu (Gayle 62)

Attendance: 52,311 (highest of season by 8!) 3,100 Blue Moonies!

The "Lets gan on a bender in December" crusade took place in various establishments includin' 'The Leazes End Club', below

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONIES of MANC-LAND *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '1:10pm bells' Wednesday  27th December 2017

SJP AT NIGHT

Tooneet we face a Man City team who have won aall of their 9 away games so far this season and are runnin away with the title aaready!
An eezy 3 points for NUFC then!!!

Of course every good run must come to an end at some point and I can remember when we were runnin away with the old 2nd Division title in the 'Keegan era' and we went to Cambridge who had just set a new leegue record of 31 winless games and we were odds on favorites to win easily---NUFC LOST 1-0!!!

In othaa words, its unlikely that we will win, but this IZ futbaall and yoo nevaa know!!!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow---lets hope it isnt a 'bad one'!?