THE TOON 0 THE BLUE MOONS 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted just after 'high noon bells' Thorsday 28th December 2017

A totally expected result az 'Rafa the Gaffer' played a very defensive team to try and stop the Man City juggernaught!
It nearly worked az we were pinned doon in wor own half for virtually the whole of the forst half az The Blue Moonies laid seige to wor goal az we defended the Gallowgate End

The breakthrough and anly goal came in the 31st minute when a De Bruyne chip foond Sterling who volley the baall past Rob Elliot in the Toon goal!

We HAD to attack now and the closest we came to scorin came just 3 mins after the goal when Aarons chipped a baall ower the City defence which woz agonisingly cleared off the line at The Leazes End!

THE TOON LAUNCH A RARE ATTACK AT THE LEAZES END (1st half)

We managed to get to half time with just the one goal deficit in the most one sided half I have even seen at SJP from the opposition!

We were a bit better in the 2nd period az wor visitors took their foot off the gas and we nearly snatched an undesorved point near the end when an Atsu cross foond the heed of Dwight Gayle, but hiz effort went just wide in the last minute of the game!
Just before this, Gayle, who had came on for Joselu in the 62nd minute aallso had a penalty appeal torned doon az the ref booked him for divin'!--a right decision az it torned oot!

SHELVEY PREPARES TO TAKE A FREE KICK AT THE GALLOWGATE END

This woz wor worst run of defeats at home (5 in a row!) since 1953 (even before I woz born!)

The result leaves us in the same position of 15th, but just ONE point above the bottom 3!---Wor home game against struggling Brightin on Saturday and Stoke away on New Years Day will surely define which direction we are heedin'!

Az there haz been ne takeover yet it iz now time for wor beloved? owner 'The Fat Controller' to spend a bit of hiz billions in the January transfor window!---although we arnt confident that he will!!!

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Mbemba (Merino 77), Lascelles, Dummett, Manquillo, Aarons (Atsu 71), Diame, Shelvey, Murphy, Joselu (Gayle 62)

Attendance: 52,311 (highest of season by 8!) 3,100 Blue Moonies!

The "Lets gan on a bender in December" crusade took place in various establishments includin' 'The Leazes End Club', below

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONIES of MANC-LAND *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '1:10pm bells' Wednesday  27th December 2017

SJP AT NIGHT

Tooneet we face a Man City team who have won aall of their 9 away games so far this season and are runnin away with the title aaready!
An eezy 3 points for NUFC then!!!

Of course every good run must come to an end at some point and I can remember when we were runnin away with the old 2nd Division title in the 'Keegan era' and we went to Cambridge who had just set a new leegue record of 31 winless games and we were odds on favorites to win easily---NUFC LOST 1-0!!!

In othaa words, its unlikely that we will win, but this IZ futbaall and yoo nevaa know!!!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow---lets hope it isnt a 'bad one'!?

THE HEED-BANGERS 2 THE MONKEY-HANGERS 2 *** NATIONAL LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 27th December 2017

SCOTT BARROW PUT GATESHEED 2-1 UP! (Heed in white)
(er! sorry aboot the blurred picture---a'd had a 'canny 'few'
in The Nags!)

Withoot a Toon boxin' Day game for 'many a year' we decided to heed for THE HEED and watch their derby game against The Monkey-Hangers of Hartlepool to get wor 'fix'

GATESHEED SHIRTS ADORN THE WAALLS OF

'THE NAGS'

We started off at Gatesheed High Street and 'The Heed-Bangers' HQ, which iz The Nags Heed boozer!

THE HARTLEPOOL 'MONKEY-HANGERS' IN FULL VOICE! 

It woz packed with both sets of fans who sang on the tables and seats az we tried to watch the live game on the box where Sporz slaughtered Sooothampton 5-2 at Wembley

SHIRTLESS 'HEED' FANS RESPOND 'IN KIND'!

Aftaa a few 'gargels' it woz time to get some exercise and walk the crooked mile to The International Stadium on The Felling By Pass

The queue for the 2 tornstiles woz longer than the one yoo get at St James' Park az a good crowd woz anticipated

The game kicked off and the packed main stand woz full of Gatesheed supporters while the opposite side woz full of Pool fans

THE 2,100 'MONKEY-HANGERS' IN THE FAR STAND

17th minute: Pool player Oates iz fouled in the box and the ref gives a penalty, much to the fury of the home fans!---Liam Donnelly convorts to put the visitors 1-0 up!

DONNELLY PENALTY 

41st minute: The Monkey-Hangers are reduced to 10 men when Adams pick up hiz 2nd yellow card!

Injury time 1st half: Scott Barrow hits an unstoppable shot from 25 yards to level things for The Heed-Bangers!

51st minute: Scott Barrow hits anothaa unstoppable shot, this time from 30 yards oot to put 'The Heed' aheed!

ACTION AT 'THE RIVER TYNE END'

72nd minute: Despite playin against 10 men, the home side couldn't finish their visitors off and the inevitable happened when The Monkeys equalise through Michael Woods

Full time 2-2

THE PACKED MAIN STAND

Attendance: A bumper crowd of 3,538 includin' 2,100 Monkey-Hangers---ie: they had more fans than The Heed-bangers!  

HAVE YOO SEEN THE QUEEN'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE FROM BUCKINGHAM PALACE?

"Both Prince Philip and I wish Rafa and the boys and all of you who live on the banks of the Tyne a very merry Christmas and 'all the best' for the rest of the season ----and wish an 'anus horribilis' to all of you who live on the banks of the wear and we sincerely hope that your team gets relegated to the 3rd tier of  English football where you belong!

Once again a very merry Christmas to you all!"

THE HEED-BANGERS v THE MONKEY-HANGERS *** CONFERENCE*** TODAY

Posted '10:20am bells' Boxin' Day 2017

Unusually NUFC divvint have a game on Boxin' Day az we have an eezy game? v the champions elect 'Blue Moonies of Manc-land tomorrow neet, for live telly.

Az we need wor 'fix', we are heedin' for Gatesheed Stadium where The Heed-Bangers of Gatesheed are takin' on The Monkey-Hangers of Hartlepool in a north east derby at '3 bells' this afternoon in The National Leegue! (Conference)

2,500 tickets have aalready been sold for the game which iz more than double wot Gatesheed normally get for a home game!

The Monkey-Hangers will no doubt bring quite a few of those and a 3,000 plus crowd iz expected in forst competitive meetin' between the clubs in 57 years!

NUFC season ticket holders can get in for a reduced price of £10 on production of your season ticket and its a fiver for sprogs and zimerframeites!

The Nags Heed on Gatesheed High Street iz wor forst port o call, which iz where The Heed-Bangers congregate before matches!

A match report of sorts will appear here tomorrow az well az a report on the build up to The Toon's game, which kicks off at '7:45 bells'!

PS: For the benefit of wor overseas reeeders, The National Leegue/Conference iz the 5th tier of English futbaall, the one below Leegue 2 and Gatesheed's groond iz approximately 2 miles from SJP on the south side of the River Tyne and both groonds are within sight of each other!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Posted '9:05am bells' Christmas Day 2017

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO AALL WOR REEEDERS!

ground number 330 london stadium, west ham---THE JELLIED EELS MOB 2 THE TOON 3 **PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:15am bells' Xmas Eve 2017

VIEW FROM 'THE GODS'!

A very brief match report iz below and I will add to it az the day gans on, aboot wor 'pub crawl' experiences and view of the match from 'the gods'!---much more later when aa get time az the busses gan off orly tooneet, which meenz av got to gan oot on 'the hoy' orlier than usual and come yem orlier (the busses gan off between 5 and 6 pm bells)

"FROM ZERO TO HERO!"

6th minute: Henri Saivet gives the baall away to Arnautovic <(hope av spelt that reet?) and he runs through wor defence az though it didn't exist to plant the baall past Elliot in the Toon goal!

1-0 to The Jellied Eels Mob!

10th minute: Saivet gans from 'zero to hero' when he hits a superb free kick from 20yards oot to level things within 4 minutes of hiz defensive 'gaff' (many of us in the top tier in the away end didn't know that Saivet had scored and thought that it woz in fact Atsu, az we so far away from the pitch at the far end from the goal! (can we have some binoculars left on the seats next time---pleeeze?)

1-1

2 woodwork strikes from Gayle and Richie shud have put us forthaa aheed, but 'lady luck' deserted us once again, (just like against Everton) and we went in on level torms at the break!

53rd minute: The 2nd half started off at a blisterin' pace and within 8 minutes of the restart we went aheed when Diame sidefooted in in front of the 3,000 Toon fans behind that goal!

2-1 to The Toon

 61st minute: Then a penalty save from Elliot followed, before Atsu put us forthaa aheed just after the hour mark to send the 3,000 faithful into raptures!

3-1 to The Toon

69th minute: But we couldn't hang on and The Jellied Eels Mob pulled one back through Ayew and we had a nail bitin' last 20 minutes to endure az they pressed for the equaliser, but we 'hung on in' and won the 3 precious points which propels us up to 15th in the table, just one behind Sooothampton in 13th place---from 'them' doonwards just SIX points separate the rest of the pack, doon to bottom place!
Full time : The Jellied Eels Mob of West Ham 2  The Toon 3

Team line ups and pix to follow when aa de a full 'new groond' report---watch this space from '7 bells' onwards tooneet and Xmas day!  (Theres quite a lot to write aboot and it may take time to complete story! (Pleeeze be patient!!!)

"LET'S GAN ON A BENDER IN DECEMBER @ WEST HAM!"

Posted from 'high noon bells' onwards Saturday 23rd December 2017

*We anticipate that not many boozers will be visited before the West Ham game and if we find a 'canny one' not too far from the groond, then we will stop there for the duration!

Divvint forget, we have nevaa been to their new abode before and it will be 'trial and error' az we 'suss oot' any new 'liquid lubrication locations' on the way from King's Cross!

HACKNEY WICK NEAR WEST HAM'S NEW ABODE   EVEN THE LOCAL VICAR DROPPED IN FOR A 'GARGEL'! (2nd pic from bottom!)

FULL TIME  WON 3  2! SAIVET  DIAME   ATSU

The post match celebrations took place here within "hocklin' distance" of the stadium!

Match report tomorrow!☺😊😀

"LONDON (Stadium) CALLING!"---THE SEQUEL!

Posted '2:05pm bells' 'Black Eye Friday' 22nd December 2017

"BACK SECTION, ROW 58---PERHAPS?

Today iz 'Black Eye Friday', the one day of the year I avoid busy pubs az 'The Xmas Jumper' and 'Antler Brigade' will bee oot in force az the annual 'Once a Year Drinkers' descend 'on mass', on the last Friday before Xmas----'hoyin up' and startin fights when they get 'legless and rat-arsed' after 4 or 5 'gargels'! (hence 'Black Eye Friday')

Tomorrow iz 'New Groondhop Day' az 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' descend 'on mass' to the "Eest end of Landan" for wor forst ever visit to the London Stadium, when we take on 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham at their new abode in Stratford!

Three thoosand of us will be there and will be housed in 'The Trevor Brooking Stand', (corner bit!?)
There are 2 separate sections of 1,500 at the front and back and lookin' at mee match ticket I am in the back section row 58 which by my calculation will be aboot az far away from the pitch az possible, near the very back of the stand! (Reminder to myself: "Must bring some binoculars!")

We reeely MUST get sommik from this game az it iz now more than TWO months since we last won (v Palace on October 21st, 1-0!)

Mee forst ever visit to West Ham woz way back in March 1969 in the days before 'man had landed on the Moon'!, computaaz and mobile phones and an archive match report on that game nearly 49 years ago, will appear below this article sometime this afternoon!

Match report on tomorrows game will appear here on Sunday and 'Lets gan on a bender in December' pub crawl pix will appear here sometime tomorrow in a 'live stream'!

STOP PRESS!:

The telly games for February have been annoonced and we must now gan to Palace in London on Sunday 4th February for a '2:15 bells' kick off---meenin' that anothaa owerneet stay in the capital will be needed! 
Moan U at SJP haz aalso been moved to a Sunday 11th February at the same time!

The Bournemoooth away game stays the same with a '3 bells' kick off on Saturday 24th February

"LONDON (Stadium) CALLING!"

Posted 4 25pm bells Thorsday 21st December 2017 @ Trowell sorvices truck park on the M1

A rare event iz happenin this Saturday az we visit a brand new Premyaa Leegue groond for many a year!
The last time a new top flight groond woz visited woz 11 years ago when we played at The Emirates Stadium, Arsenal in November 2006 and drew 1-1

Az we've nevaa been here before its trial and error az to where to gan on a pub crawl and how to travel there az we've hord hotrendous stories of massive queues at the tube and train stations after the match!

More to follow on aall this tomorrow!