FORTHCOMIN' GAMES

Posted '1:00 pm bells' Tuesday 25th July 2017

HILLHEADS   WHITLEY BAY

The games are certainly comin' up thick and fast and there are quite a few this week!
Tooneet we travel to The Whitley Bay Watches where wor U23s are takin' on 'Bay' at 7 bells'

Then tomorrow evenin' wor forst team travel to Valley Parade to take on Braadfaad City at '7:30 bells'
Thorsday sees the U23s in action again in a 4 team tournament in Whitby (7:45 bells) when we will play Glasgay Celtic U23s
Saturday sees the forst team in action again ---this time in Jawmany, where we face FSW Mainz at 4 bells

In between aall this wor U16s are playin' in a tournament in Northern Ireland---so whever yoo live yoo have a chance to see at least one of wor teams in action!

Match reports to follow!---az per usual watch this space!

THE HEEDBANGERS 0 THE TOON U23s 3

Posted '1:05 pm bells munday 24th July 2017

SPOT THE SEAGULL WATCHIN THE MATCH!

I hope u arnt shocked but I decided to gan and watch U23s at Gatesheed on Saturday instead of gannin to Preston to watch a Toon XX11 (Toon 22)

Really, these pre season games meen that 40 odd players will be used at some point durin matches and are now farcical trainin sessions

700 were present at The International Stadium with a 50/50 split between Toon and Heedbangers fans!

Aa went with grandson Jamie and hiz mam and dad in wot woz a very wet afternoon

El Mhanni opened the scorin' for us with a fine strike in the  11th minute
Fernandez then added a 2nd before the break to put us 2-0 up with a fantastic shot from 30 yards oot!
IT woz the point that the 'supersubs' started comin' on

The 2nd half woz a bit borin' and the 'highlight' of the 1st period woz interupted by a flock of huge seagulls who flew in and oot of the main stand----one even settled on an exit barrier to watch the match! (see top photo!) and woz rewarded az he/she witnessed wor thord and final goal, scored by Dan Ward on the hour mark with a shot that went underneath The Heed's keeper!
Many more supersuubs started appearin' for both sides and aa estimated that we had used 22 payers to Gatesheed's 20-----Just like the forst team!---EH!

This woz 7 year old Jamie's forst ever away game---if yoo can caall a 5 mile roond trip to hiz hoose and back an 'away' game!

PRESTON DEAD END 1 TOON XX11 1

Posted '10:00am bells' Sunday 23rd July 2017

"MITRO'S ON FIRE!--TOON FAN IN MIRE!"

ONE OF THE TOON'S 'FOOT' SOLDIERS!

The most memorable thing aboot this trip to Preston woz the news that a Toon fan had jumped off a pub roof and broke hiz ankles!---but after a trip to the local RVI he insisted on gannin to the match in a wheelchair! (PS: Its quite normal for some Toon fans to do these things!)
Mitro opened the scorin' on 8 minutes but that woz the most memorable thing aboot the match az the home side equalised before the break
3,000 Toon fans were in the stands (plus 1 wheelchair at the front!) in the 7,000 plus crowd

In the 2nd half a host of subs came on and aall told 22 players were used by Rafa!
These pre season games are turnin into a farce az Preston aalso used loads of subs.
They are only now glorified trainin' sessions in wor opinion!

Toon team: It will take aall day to type their names oot amd aa havvent got time at the mo!

Updated '11 30 bells'

Toon team:(Deeep breath!) Elliot, Mbemba, Hanley, Lejeune, Dummett, Diame, Shelvey, Atsu, De Jong, Aarons, Mitrovic  Subs: Darlow, Yedlin, Clark, Colback, Hayden, Murphy, Perez, Gayle, Robers, Woodman, Manquillo

Attendance: 7,380

U23s match report will appear here later (much later!)

PPS: The Toon fan who broke hiz ankles woz that p*ssed he couldnt remember the score at the half time break! **** 1   1 **** hiz left ankle and hiz right ankle!

At last! Roads closed on matchdays!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 21st July 2017

STRAWBERRY PLACE CLOSED FOR
RUGBY LEEGUE MAGIC WEEKEND

The City cooncil haz at last seen sense and aall roads aroond SJP will be shut 20 mins before and after each home game for safety reasons----and not before time!  There have been many occasions when leavin the groond where there are near misses az the 50,000 plus crowds pile oot onto the streets

In the past they have shut the streets for rugby, Olympic games, cycle races, etc---but futbaall fans have had to risk their lives crossin Strawberry Place and Barrack Road in particular!

In  othaa news- the forst team squad heed for Preston tomorrow while the U23s heed for 'The Heed' in pre season friendlies tomorrow afternooon

A full Geordie Times match report for both games will appear here sometime on Sunday
az per usual watch this space!

MARX MINI MAGS quiz answer

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 16th July 2017
Updated thorsday

A Toon fan caalled Mark 'The Suit' collects miniature models of Toon players old and new and haz sent us some of hiz collection.
We have given him hiz own page (MARX MINI MAGS) and yoo must guess who the 'mini Mag' iz
Answer later on this week

"WHO AM I?"  "I am Alan Shearer!"

MURPHY & MANQUILLO SIGN

Posted 'high noon bells Wednesday 19th July 2017

Murphy (top) & Manqillo

Thankfully 2 more signings have been reported to boost wor squad. Jacob Murphy haz signed for a reported fee of 10.5 million---he iz a winger and haz signed from Norwich and iz 27 years old
Aalso signed iz a right back by the name of Javier Manquillo for 4.5 million---he has signed from Atletico Madrid and iz a 23 year old Spaniard

Hopefully more signings will happen before the season starts and we have to tell yoo that we are relieved that Rafa looks certain to stay after the rumours of an imminent departure due to lack of progress in the transfor market

Az per usual we will keep yoo posted a day later than the rest!
(This IZ The Geordie Times after aall!)

CREIGHTON CATASTROPHE!

Posted 'high noon bells' tuesday 18th july 2017

"We're not gannin here!  Boo  hoooo!"

Wor U18s were due to play Carlisle U18s @ Creighton Rugby Club in Carlisle today @ 'high noon bells'---a groond 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' have nevaa been te---we have to tell yoo that the game haz been switched at the last minute to wor academy @ Little Benton!!! (a groond we have been te of course!)
DIABOLICAL DEEDS if yoo ask us!!!

DARLO v TOON U23s ** TOONEET

Posted 12:30pm bells' Munday 17th July 2017

If yoo are at a 'loose end' tooneet then why not heed for Darlington where wor U23s are takin' them on @ The Reynolds Arena/Northern Echo Arena @ '7 bells'
I wont be able to make it az av got to gan to graft, but a report from one of wor intrepid fellow groondhoppers will be online sometime tomorrow! (Been here before of course-- on my 'list')
Admission iz a 'tenner' for 'big kids' and a 'fiver' for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

Update Tuesday

Darlo 1  Toon X1  2
The Toon won 2-1 with goals from Longstaff and Ivan Toney in front of 1,775 icludin a few hundred Toon fans

THE JAM TARTS 1 THE TOON 2 *** PRE SEASON FRIENDLY 2017-2018

Posted '9:00pm bells' Saturday 15th July 2017
Updated Sunday

"A FISHY TALE TO MAKE YOO WHALE!"

The meetin' point for wor forst pre season 'jaunt' woz in 'The Central', where we caught the '12:45 bells' train to Edinburgh!

It woz then a 'pub crawl' around Princess Street and beyond before heedin' for Tynecastle

In one of the pubs on the way called 'The Bailie' we decided to have a 'nose bag' az well, az we were 'clammin' by this point!
'Big Al' (not the sheet metal workers son!) opted for some Aberdeeen Angus steak and chips at a 'tenner', while me and 'Sarnie Steve' ordered a smaall fish and chips for £7:50
Back the waitress came with Big Al's steak and Steve's smaall fish n chips---she then came back with mine sayin' "here's your LARGE fish n chips!" (£10:50!)
"I anly ordered a smaall fish!", said I, az she plonked the plate doon in front of me!
"Oh sorry!" she said, "I'll go and see the chef!"
Back she came and told me to just eat woz in front of me and I would anly be charged the lower price!

I hoyed tons of salt and vinegar on and stabbed a chuck of fish onto my fork---just az I woz aboot to devour the fish, back the waitress came and told me that the fish woz the chefs meal and she would come back with a smaaller portion---and like a scene from the 'Fawlty Towers' 'Hotel Inspector' episode, she snatched the plate away az I sat there with my knife a fork at the ready!
(In that episode a hotel inspector ordered some veal and just az he woz aboot to eat it, in came 'Basil Fawlty' to snatch it away az it had been covered in rat poison!)

Back she came with anothaa fish which woz actually BIGGER than the one she'd taken away!---(I hope yoo are followin' aall this?)
It woz the size a baby WHALE!--but I wasn't gonna complain and (finally!) got stuck into it before she could take it away again!
(Yoo couldn't make it up!)
A few more boozers later and it woz time to heed for the groond!

A 10,000 crowd were present includin' 1,400 from Tyneside in wot woz in effect a 3 sided groond, coz of buildin' work on a new main stand to wor left

SPOT THE FREEBEEZ!

We started off well and Aarons hit the bar in the 2nd minute before Dwight Gaye put us in front 2 mins later with a low shot!

The Jam Tarts equalised from Walker in the 24th minute after some sloppy play by 'us'
We regained the lead however just 2 minutes later when Gayle got hiz 2nd goal, heedin' in Shelvey's corner kick!

Some fine saves from Rob Elliot followed and we went in 2-1 up at the break!
6 changes were made at the start of the 2nd half includin' 'new boy' Flo Lejuine, but we couldn't add to the score, although Lejuine did hit the woodwork late on!

Full time: 2-1 to 'us'

Toon squad that woz used (deep breath!) Elliot, Haidera, Clark, Mbemba, Lascelles, De Jong, Atsu, Diame, Shelvey, Aarons, Gayle, Woodman, Gamez, Dummett, Hanley, Lajuine, Colback, Saivet, Armstrong, Mitrovic, Laazar, Perez
(22 in total!)

Attendance: 10,001 (1,468 Toon fans) (plus 5 or 6 'freebee' builders watchin' from the new stand under construction--see photo!) *

Edinburgh pub crawl total: 6





BAD NEWS FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS---FOR MORE REASONS THAN ONE!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 13th July 2017

Devastatin' news haz reached us that the Checkatrade Trophy draw haz paired us with 3 teams, whose groonds we have been te before! Crewe, Port Vale and Oldham will be wor opponents in the group stage!

We WONT be gannin' here!
"BOO!--HOOOO!"

The truth iz that its gettin' harder and harder to visit new leegue groonds az we are simply runnin' oot of them (just 13 left oot of the 92 to visit!)
We wanted Shrewsbury, Fleetwood or Rochdale, but ended up with this lot!

In othaa news--with just ONE day to gan before wor forst pre season forst team game away to Hearts, we have just ONE new face in the team, when we needed at least half a dozen!

Rumours have surfaced that 'Rafa the Gaffa' iz not impressed with incomin' transfors and when yoo consider that 'uddersfield have spent £36 million and 'little' Bournemoooth, (who have one fifth of wor support!) have spent £20 million on one player---compared to wor £4 million in the summer window, yoo can see why!

Wor current squad is quite simply not good enough for the Premyaa Leegue and if we don't sign some more players very soon, then we fear the worst!
The 'feel good' factor after promotion iz rapidly fadin' away!

The next couple of weeks will be very interestin'--to say the least!