HOUSEHOLD NAME JOINS THE SMBs !

Posted '11:11am bells' Munday 3rd July 2017

SOMEWHERE IN THE BOWELS OF
THE STADIUM OF SSSHHH! (YEE NAA WOT!)
"OOOOH!"---"SHUT THAT DOOR!"

News that wor arch enemeez 'The mackems' have appointed Simon  Grayson az their new manager haz eventually reached us by carrier pigeon < (how else would we find oot?)

Last Friday on 'Radio Newcasil' a reporter went to sund'lind to find oot their fans reaction to the news in a live broadcast (which I listened to on mee truck radio)---most were totally underwhelmed by hiz appointment and quite a few had NEVER hord of him!

But the best comment came from someone with a 'thick' mackem accent, when he said--------after a long pause!:
"Da yaa meen that p**f  who used to host 'The Generation Game' on the telly?"--"I thought he woz DEAD!"
(He woz referrin' to LARRY Grayson the 'camp' comedian!)

Yoo couldn't make it up!----'Deadwood' more like!

NEW SIGNINGS?

Posted '11:00am bells' Sunday 2nd July 2017

With just one day before NUFC players gan back to pre season trainin' and we still divvint have any new faces in the team yet?
Many Toon fans (includin' me!) are now gettin' a bit anxious az to just wot iz happenin' behind the scenes @ SJP

There's still plenty of time of course az players come back from their holiday breaks and hopefully there will be some breakthroughs in the followin' days--so (az Corporal Jones would say!)----  "divvint panic!"

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPER NEWS *** 'CHECK' IT OOT!

Posted 'high noon bells' Saturday 1st July 2017

SPOTLAND, ROCHDALE *** "I HAVE A DREAM!"

News that NUFC are to enter an U21s side in The Checkatrade Trophy next season haz just been conformed!
16 Premyaa and Championship sides are to take part, alang with the 48 sides in League 1 and 2

This gives 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' anothaa chance to add yet more leegue groonds to wor 'list'--although in my case (Fink), just 13 oot of the current 92 have still to be visited--aall Leegue 1 and 2 sides, plus West Ham's new abode

HIGHBURY STADIUM, FLEETWOOD *** "I HAVE A DREAM!"

The 'exciting news' iz!---that we will be in a group of 4 northern lower leegue teams, which we must play away--meeenin' that the likes of visits to Rochdale and Fleetwood are a distinct possibility!
(Aa bet you're 'droolin at the mouth' aalready!)

Leegue groonds still to be visited by 'The mad-sad groundhoppers':
(It shud be noted that in wor history, NUFC have NEVER played at these groonds eethaa!)

Premyaa Leegue: (1)
1: Olympic/London Stadium, West Ham (been to old groond of course!)

Championship: (0)
NONE!

Leegue One: (7)
2: Wimbledon (been to old groond(s!)
3: Bristol Rovers (been to old groond(s!)
4: Fleetwood Toon
5: MK Dons
6: Northampton Toon
7: Rochdale
8: Shrewsbury Toon (been to old groond!)

Leegue Two: (5)
9: Barnet (been to old groond!)
10: Colchester United
11: Newport Coonty
12: Wycombe Wanderers (although I have been to 'Whickham' to watch wor juniors a few years ago!)
13: Forest Green Rovers (Forest Green who?)

The Checkatrade Trophy draw will be made on
Wednesday 12th July *

JAM SANDWICH!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 30th Joon 2017

We understand that 'The Jam Tarts of Hearts'  have allocated us just 1,300 ticket for wor forthcomin' pre season friendly on Friday 14th July @ Tyncastle Park, Edinbugh---and we will be 'jammed' (sic!)into one corner behind the goal!
This iz because Hearts are buildin' a new main stand which wont be completed for sometime yet and their groond capacity haz been slashed accordingleeee!

Tickets not on sale to 'us' yet!

PRE SEASON UPDATE *** HELLAS 'ANGELS' CONFORMED!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 29th Joon 2017

Wor final forst team friendly haz been announced and we will play Hellas Verona of Italy @ SJP on Sunday 6th August @ '3 bells'
Wor one and anly home friendly!

THE LIST:

Friday 14th July: The Jam Tarts @ Tynecastle Park, Edinburgh

Saturday 22nd July: Preston Dead End @ Deepdale, Preston

Wednesday 26th July: Bradfaad City @ Valley Parade, Bradfaad

Saturday 29th July: FSV Mainz 05 @ Opel Arena, Mainz, Jawmany

Wednesday 2nd August: VFL Wolfsburg @ AOK Stadium, Wolfsburg, Jawmany

Sunday 6th August: The Hellas Angels of Italy @ SJP 

"DID YI NAA AV GOT MEE AAN HELLS ANGELS GANG?"
"BRING ON THE HELLAS ANGELS!"

THE TYNE BRIDGE DERBY *** HEEDBANGERS v TOON X1

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 28th Joon 2017

Anothaa friendly for wor U21s haz been added to 'the list'
NUFC will heed for 'The Heed' on Saturday 22nd July @ 3 bells' for the annual 'Tyne Bridge derby' (both SJP and Gatesheed Stadium are within sight/'hocklin distance' of this great Geordie landmark!)---exactly the same time az wor forst team squad will be kickin' off @ Preston Dead End!

U21 fixtures--so far!

Munday 17th July---Darlo @ Northern Echo Arena

Saturday 22nd July---The Heedbangers @ Gatesheed Stadium

Thorsday 27th July---'Glasgay' Celtic U21s @ Turnbull Groond, Whitby

Saturday 29th July---AZ Alkmaar or Whitby Toon @ Turnbull Groond, Whitby

Tuesday 1st August---The Pit Yaakkers of Ashington @ Woodhorn Lane

Whitley Bay--date and time to be arranged

TUNNEL VISION!---OR NOT!--- AZ THE CASE MAY BE!

Posted 'high noon bells' Tuesday 27th Joon 2017

"TELL MEE MAA AA WILL BE HOME FOR TEA!"

News that wor trip to Wembley to play Sporz on March 17th next year will be witnessed by anly 3,000 Toon fans in the 'Tunnel End' of  the stadium have been announced!
That's aall away fans of ANY club will be allocated, from the 90,000 seats available next season? (originally we were telt that it would be 6,000!)


TOON FANS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET TICKETS WILL BE ON THE RIGHT >>>>>>>>>

This meeenz that there will be thooosands of Toon fans who want to gan, who wont be able to---and yoo can bet your bottom dollar that *200 'loyalty points' will be needed to secure one of the tickets!
(*That's NUFC fans who have attended 200 away games under the loyalty points system!)

Aaltogether now!: "Tell mee maa, mee maa, aa WILL be home for tea!---not gannin' to Wem-bel-eee, tell mee maa, mee maa!"   

mackem FAKE NEWS & PROPAGANDA!

Posted '9:44pm bells' Saturday 24th Joon 2017

"THE AMERICAN PRESS AREN'T
THE ONLY ONES SPREADING 'FAKE NEWS'
THE mackems  ARE DOING IT AS WELL!" 

The consortium caalled 'fulwell 73', who were tryin' to take ower
sund'lind (but failed!), have come oot with this ridiculous 'propaganda' statement below!---




'fulwell 73' 'FAKE NEWS' STATEMENT! 


















The fact iz, they ARE the biggest club in the north east---of sund'lind that iz!!!!

However!, regional facts divvint lie and in the 21st century alone, NUFC have been the best supported team for each season!

Last season az a 2nd flight club, playin' the likes of Burton, Rotherham and Barnsleee, we had bigger crowds than the SMBs playin' the likes of Man U, Chelski, Arsenal, and Liverpool in the top flight!

Wor average gates were 51,000 plus--- to there's of 41,000 plus



DON'T BELIEVE US?----THEN SEE THE ATTENDANCE 'FACTS' BELOW FROM THE 1890's TO DATE!

"JAWMANY CALLING!"----"PLANES AND TRAINS TO MAINZ!"

Posted '2:22pm bells' Saturday 24th Joon 2017

Confirmation that we are playin' Mainz of Jawmany az well az Wolfsburg in pre season friendlies haz reached us!
We will play SFV Mainz at their main stadium which holds 34,000 on Saturday 29th July @ '4:00 bells'
(We intend to fly to Dusseldorf from Toon Airport and get the train from there!)

Fower days later on the followin' Wednesday, NUFC are off to VFL Wolfsburg, where we will play in their RESORVES stadium, which aalso host their womens team and haz a 5,000 capacity!

More to follow later!

"JAWMANY CALLING!---WE TOLD YOO SO!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 23rd Joon 2017

"AAAWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

At the beginnin' of Joon 'The Geordie Times' told yoo that we had a possible friendly lined up in Jawmany!
The club conformed this yesterday and we will travel to VFL Wolfsburg on Wednesday August 2nd
Anothaa unconfirmed game against FSV Mainz the previous weekend iz 'on the cards' az well--ne date, time or venue so far, on this one?

Az per usual---we will keep yoo posted!