THE TOON v THE BISCUITMEN of READIN' *** TOOONEEET!

Posted '2:05pm bells' Wednesday 17th August 2016

Artwork by 'Shelly the barmaid!'

"THORD TIME LUCKY"???

We gan into wor thord game of the new season lookin' for wor forst win to climb oot of 'the abyss' and we can anly hope that the players are listenin' to 'Rafa the Gaffa' and put in a performance worthy of wor support!?

'The Biscuitmen' (there's a large biscuit factory there!) will anly have 550 or so in the crowd toneet, which meenz extra tickets are available to wor fans in Level 7 of 'The Leazes'!

We hear that 47,000 tickets have been sold and so by kick off time this shud rise to at least 48,000!

A win iz vital if we are not to be cast adrift in the race back to 'the BIG time'!

WE are heedin' for the 'Toon Arms' before the game (Newcastle Arms!) where it haz been open since '10 bells' this mornin' to quench wor thirsts! (see top photo!)

A full match report and pix to follow tomorrow sometime---az per usual!

THE TOON 1 'UDDERSFIELD TOON 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 14th August 2016

THE TOON PLAYERS IN A HUDDLE JUST BEFORE THE KICK OFF!
(It didn't de us much good though!)

"TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED!"

Wor 2nd game of the season and 2nd defeat against a very average 'uddersfield side who we shud have beaten comfortably.
52,000 plus were here to witness this horror show (includin' mee grandson Jamie aged 6, who iz now a fully fledged season ticket holder!) <(it's aall my fault of course!!!) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Quite simply in the forst half we were terrible, givin' the baall away and losin' possession  on many occasions and the killer blow came in stoppage time of the half when wor visitors stabbed the baall into the net at The Gallowgate End!

A TOON FAN HOLDS HIZ HEED IN HIZ HANDS AZ WE MISS
A GREAT CHANCE AT THE LEAZES END (1st half)

The 2nd half waz a bit better az we attacked the 'uddersfield goal and finally we made a breakthrough when on the hour mark a hand-baall in the box gave us a penalty which Dwight Gayle hit straight at their keeper, but luckily for him it rebounded straight to hiz bonce and he heeded into the net to lift the roof off the stadium---more in relief than hope!

We would surely gan on to win now?---but NO!---a through baall to an unmarked Jack Payne who ran towards the Leazes End goal sealed it for wor visitors in the 82nd minute az the 3,200 Yorkshiremen in level 7 of that end went wild with delight az we looked on in despair!

A sceptic alang from me shouted that LEEGUE 1 waz now beckonin'!!!!---WOT!!! after just TWO games????---Ye of little faith!!!!
"We weren't expecting this kind of performance!", Rafa said after the match---tooo true mate!

Of course we MUST improve on this showin' and wor home game against 'The Biscuitmen of Readin' on Wednesday now takes on more significance az the pressure cooker starts to build!

Toon team: Sels, Janmaat (Armstrong 82), Mbemba, Lascelles, Dummett, Anita, Hayden, Shelvey, Aarons (Richie 46), Diame (Perez 75), Gayle 

Attendance: 52,079 (3,200 'uddersfield fans)
The 2nd highest crowd of the day in the old UK!  *



JAMIE ENJOYS A PINT OF 'COKE BEER' IN 'THE BODEGA BEER BAR'
 BEFORE THE MATCH!

THE TOON v 'UDDERSFIELD TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '1:15pm bells' Friday 12th August 2016

Wor forst home game of the EFL season teks place tomorrow when a crowd of 52,000 plus will be inside SJP to watch us against 'uddersfield!
Wor visitors (not suprizinglee!) have sold their entire 3,200 allocation for level 7 of The Leazes End!---This I 'fink' will be the norm for most visitin' support this season az we are the biggest attraction in the division bar non!

With the forst Gallowgate End 'flag day', which starts half an hour before kick off, it shud be quite an occasion --especially for mee 6 year old grandson Jamie who now haz a season ticket in The Milburn Stand!

Hopefully we will play better than we did at Ful'im and the ref can see properly?, unlike at Craven Cottage last Friday neet! (scroll doon to see match report below!)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Sunday---sometime!---again!---watch this space!  

"SOMEONE UP THERE DOES LIKE US!"

Posted '12:27pm bells' Thorsday 11th August 2016

The telly fixtures for October and November have been released and anly ONE NUFC game haz been picked!---The away game at Leeds which now kicks off at '1:15 bells' on Sunday 20th November.
We anly have ONE midweek game in that time (barin' EFL Cup) v Barnsley on a Tuesday neet in October!---which iz good news for the likes of 'little ol' me' who works Munday to Friday (ie: just ONE day's holiday needed!)

Aalso the draw in the EFL Cup last neet gives us a home tie v Cheltenham at the end of this month---much (much!) better than an away tie at Gillingham or Exeter!!!

FUL'IM 1 THE TOON 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '10:25 am bells' Sunday 7th August 2016

Black clouds descend ower the main stand on a black day for NUFC! 

SO DISAPPOINTIN'!

Any thoughts that NUFC cud gan through an entire season unbeaten were brought to a shudderin' halt in west London on Friday neet after just one game!---thanks mainly to the referee who failed to spot TWO 'hand baalls' by Ful'im in the penalty area!---One in each half!
7,000 Toon fans had made the trip to Craven Cottage and packed The Putney End and were in great voice az the match started!

Happy Toon fans at the start of the match (we wornt so happy at the end!)
The cottage which gives the groond it's name iz in the corner!

We dominated the game in the orly periods az we attacked The Hammersmith End at the far end from us, but couldn't make the breakthrough and had NE shots on target in the forst half (if mee mind serves me correctly!?) 
A penalty appeal for a blatant hand baall in the 35th minute, when a Matt Richie shot waz handled by Ful'im's Ryan Tunnacliffe inside the box, waz waved away by Hopper the ref, az the 7,000 Toon fans, the players and Rafa protested loudly!
Thiz blunder by Hooper would prove decisive az bang on half time the home side scored from a set piece when Matt Smith heeded in unmarked at the far post, givin' Sels in The Toon goal ne chance!

The Toon (in black) attack the far Hammersmith End

We simply didn't get oot of the blocks in the 2nd half and anly had 2 shots on target!---we were SO disappointin'! 
Anothaa blatant hand baall in the last minute of game when again, a Matt Richie shot waz blocked twice by Kalas this time, (with both arms!), but again the 'blind ref' Hooper gave us nowt and we lost for the SIXTH time in a row at 'The Cottage'!

Like aa say we didn't play well but the ref won the game for the Londoners with hiz inexplicable decisions!
It's certainly IZ gannih be a lang hard season!

Toon team which included 5 competitive *debutants: *Sels, Janmaat, *Hanley, Lascelles, Dummett, *Richie, *Hayden (Shelvey 77), Colback (Aarons 60), Anita, Perez (Armstrong 70), *Gayle

Attendance: 23, 922 (7,000 Toon fans in good voice at the start but quiet at the end!) *



The pre and post match gargels took place here!   

Ful'im Broadway

Named and shamed!---wouldn't let away fans in!

Shud be renamed 'The DEAR Bar'!

£5.40 a pint in the above boozer!
The MOST expensive pint av ever bought in the UK!

An estate agents on the Ful'im Road (NOT includin' fees!)
  



 

  

FUL'IM v THE TOON **** FRIDAY NEET ON THE THAMES!

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 3rd August 2016

The new season iz aalmost upon us az we travel to 'The Smoke' for wor forst game in The EPL (English Premier Leegue) against Ful'im @ Craven Cottage in 2 days time!

Aall 2,750 away tickets were snapped up lang ago, but the adjacent 'Neutral Section' of 'The Putney End' where we are housed, iz completleee sold oot az well, meenin' that up to 7,000 Toon fans will be cheerin' us on from behind that goal!

Expectations are very high, but it won't be an easy ride az 'WE' are the team that everybody will want to beat!---NUFC have lost on wor previous 5 visits doon here on the banks of The Thames River, so a win iz lang overdue!

We travel doon on Friday dinnaatime and will arrive at King's Cross sometime after '4 bells'

We have SIX new signings who will make their debuts for us, so this iz the dawnin' of a new era under 'Rafa the Gaffa'!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday----so, az per usual folks---watch this space!

Updated Thorsday:
Since aa wrote the above 'piece' we have signed 2 more players!
Ciaren Clark from The Hazbeenz and Villians and Mohamed Diame from Hull--both for reported fees of £5 million quid!
This brings the total number of new players signed so far to EIGHT!----The Rafa Revolution IZ in full swing!

THE TOON 3 VITESSE ARNHEM 2 ***FRIENDLY FIXTURE 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 31st July 2016


THE TOON (IN BLACK SHIRTS) ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL

Playin' in wor aafull new 'Bumble Bee 2nd kit' of black with a yellow hoop around the middle!----(where DO they get theeze designs from?) we started off well attackin' The Leazes End'  in  a 'one thord full' St James' Park, where we estimated the attendance az around aboot the 15,000 mark!
It didn't take lang for us to open the scorin' when a Janmaat cross foond new boy Matt Richie and hiz shot waz defected in by a Arnhem defender with 20 minutes on the clock!

It waz soon 2-0 when Gayle toe poked the baall into the back of the net in the 36th minute! 
Just 5 mins after this goal we scored again when a fine cross from Perez foond the bonce of an unmarked Colback and he placed hiz heeder past the Arhhem keeper to make it 3-0 by half time andthere waz a 'buzz' around the small crowd. (excuse the Bumble Bee pun!)

However!--- in the 2nd period we took wor foot off the gas and allowed wor Dutch visitors to get back into the game when they pulled one back 6 minutes after the restart after sloppy defendin' on wor part by Janmaat <(mee finks?)

Anothaa goal for wor visitors 10 mins later after a Vitesse free kick waz badly defended by 'us' sent the 150 visitin' fans from Holland   into joyous raptures az they jumped aboot in the 'Leazes corner'!

We held oot and thankfully didn't concede again to remain unbeaten under Rafa for ELEVEN games includin' the end of last season!

We were much better than last season's pre season friendlies under the management of 'The Wally with the Brolly', when we actually lost to York City (who were relegated from the Futbaall Leegue in May in bottom place!) and an American 3rd division side in wor tour of 'The States'!

Wor defence still needs sortin' though after those 2 horror goals!

Toon team: Sels, Janmaat (Sterry 73), Dummett, Lascelles, Hanley (Gamez 62), Hayden (Saivet 73), Colback (Shelvey 62), Anita (Goffran 73), Perez (Armstrong 62), Gayle (Mitrovic 73), Richie (Aarons 62)

Attendance: 19,200 (150 Arnhem fans)


ARNHEM FANS IN LEAZES CORNER

The crowd waz 4,000 more than wor estimate!

THE TOON v VITESSE ARNHEM **** FRIENDLY FIXTURE ***THIS AFTERNOOON!

Posted '10:24am bells' Saturday 30th July 2016

"NORMAL SERVICE WILL BE RESUMED AZ SOON AZ POSSIBLE!"

Havin' missed the last 3 away friendly games, I'm 'back in the fold' and ready to resume 'The Geordie Times' match reports once again!
I'm pleezed to tell yoo that wor lass (Val) iz feelin' much better now after hor op in The Freeman Hospital 11 days ago! (the main reason for me missin' those games)
Many thanx for the 'get well' messages to Val!

Vitesse Arnhem are wor one and anly pre season home visitors this afternoon before the big kick @ Fulham next Friday neet!

A FULL Geordie Times match report on today's game will appear here sometime on Sunday!

CORBY TOON 0 TOON U21s 3 *** STEEL PARK CUP *** LAST SATURDAY!!!!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Thorsday 28th July 2016

I know it's a bit late!---but here's 'The Geordie Times' match report from Corby last Saturday!

Match report and pix sent by 'Alex of St George'

"Despite ower half an hours gap from the first game this one somehow kicked off 8 minutes late?---eatin' into my time to get the 3 miles back to the station to catch the train!

Newcastle U21s continued their impressive start to the season with skilful control and accurate passing giving them the upperhand throughout the opening period.

A number of NUFC chances went begging before Corby had the first corner of the game in the 37th minute. The low delivery went right across the 6 yard box with one Corby player missing it completely and centre back Bradlee Gascoinge heading against the post when it was easier to score!

2 minutes later Luke Charman put Newcastle ahead with a smart turn and shot into the bottom corner of the net after good work from the impressive Yasin El-Mhanni.

NUFC made no changes at half time but Corby brought on Sergio Carallo who apparently is from Real Madrid!

In the 55th minute Certis Good made a timely tackle on the lively Femi Urenuga to prevent him being through on goal.
In the 58th minute Sean Longstaff calmly slotted home after being put through by Jamie Holmes.

A number of further chances from NUFC were saved or missed before Longstaff got his 2nd in the 72nd minute direct from a corner. His apologetic celebrations suggested it wasn't intended!

Kyle Cameron then came on wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask to protect his face!

Further chances were missed but it was a comfortable win against a spirited Corby side!"

Crowd of around 200 included a few Toon fans but most wearing the black and white were supporting the home team!

Some of the 'tonsil ticklin' took place here in the Steel Club in the ground---as well as other locations in LONDON!

SOOOTHEND v THE TOON **** TOOONEET!

Posted '12:35pm bells' Tuesday 26th July 2016

Tooneet the forst team heed for Roots Haall for wor 4th pre season game!
Unfortunatally I can't be there again for reason given in the article below---but--fear not!---I WILL be at the Vitesse Arnhem game @ SJP on Saturday and (hopefully?) away to Fulham on Friday week.
The train and hotel and match ticket are aall booked for the Fulham game--and fingers (and toes!) crossed I will be there to keep my COMPETITIVE games record intact!
For a full and comprehensive match report of tooneets game can I point yoo in the direction of: www.nufc.com

Cheers! Fink (the mad-sad 'non' groundhopper!) <(at the mo!)