FIXTURE CHANGES FOR LIVE TELLY IN DECEMBER!

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 8th October 2015

Wor forst fower games in December have aall been picked for live telly az the vultures and wild dogs wait to 'pick us off' in the Premyaa Leegue desert!

Wor beleaguered 'Wally with(oot) a Brolly' manager/heed coach haz 'begged US for more time and to "stick together!" <(think aa hord that one before the Man City game Steve!!!!

Wor December fixtures nuw look like this:

Sun 6th '4 bells': The Liverbirds @ SJP (SKY)
Sun 13th '4 bells': Sporz @ White Hart Lane (SKY)
Sat 19th '5:30 bells': The Hazbeens & Villians @ SJP (SKY)
Fri 26th (Boxin' Day) '5:30 bells': The Toffee Noses @ SJP (BT)
Mon 28th '3 bells':The Baggie Troosers @ The Hawthorns(Ne TV)

THE BLUE MOONIES 6 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 4th October 2015

"COWBOY BREAKFAST BLUES!"

"YEEE HAAA!"

The trip started @ '8:35 bells' when we caught the train to Mancland for the '3 bells' kick off.

A big brekky in Yatesys in the centre of Manchester waz the order of the day when we got there!
Aa didn't have my readin' glasses when aa read the menu but opted for a 'Cowboys Breakfast'---mistakenly thinkin' aa would get roast buffalo, grilled sausages etc--but aa couldn't read the small print and when it arrived it consisted of a fried egg, bits of bacon and chopped up sausage in a large bowl of aboot 5,000 beans!

THE BIG KICK OFF!---IT WAZ STILL 0-0 AT THIS POINT!

The lads reeely toll the p*ss and ribbed me aall day aboot it and then it waz time to gan to the match!-----We did well in the 1st half and held our own and even took the lead through Mitrovic which waz greeted with wild celebrations in the Toon section! (he then had a goal disallowed for offside--but it looked very close!)

Wor 'joy' wasn't to last though and Aguaro levelled things just before the break!

And then in the 2nd half!----total disaster az we collapsed like a pack of cards with Aguaro scorin' FOWER more and one from De Bruyne in the space of just THORTEEN minutes!
There waz still half and hour to gan and a record defeat looked on the cards--but City took pity on us a took off their five goal man and thankfully there were ne more goals to compound wor misery!

We were 'has-beans' and had lost 6-1 and I waz HAPPY!---coz it could (and should) have been much worse than this!
"BEANZ MEANZ SCREAMZZZ!" "AAAaaarrrggghhh!!!!"

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Mbemba, Coloccini, Mbabu (Laselles 53), Sissoko (Tiote 66), Anita, Gouffran (Thourvin 66), Wijnaldum, Mitrovic, Perez

Attendance 53,850 (3,000 traumatosed Toon fans!)

The post match 'drownin of the sorrows' 'gargels' took place here!



'THE COLONEL'S MATCH TICKET!
GUESS HOW OLD HE IZ?

THE BLUE MOONIES v THE TOONIES *** TOMORROW AFTERNOONIES!

Posted '1:50pm bells' Friday 2nd October 2015

HAPPY DAYS!---SISSOKO SCORES IN WOR 2-0 LEEGUE CUP WIN LAST SEASON!

The stats make very worryin' readin' for wor visit to Mancland tomorrow az we haven't won a Premyaa Leegue game in ELEVEN previous attempts since City moved to their new abode from Maine Road! (Although we DID beat them 2-0 away in the Leegue Cup last season!----wor one and anly solitary success @ The City of Manc Stadium)

We aalso gan into this game tryin' to win wor forst leegue game of the season at the EIGHTH attempt!---failure to do so will meen that this is the WORST ever start to a Premyaa Leegue season for us!

Trawlin' back through the history books, yoo have to gan back to the 19th century for wor worst ever start to a season when we didn't win in the forst TEN attempts before beatin' 'The Liverbirds' 3-0 @ St James' Park in November 1898!
Anothaa damnin' stat iz that we are the ANLY team oot of the 92 leegue sides NOT to score an away goal this season!

Tickets are still on sale to Toon fans in the expanded stadium and lookin' at mee ticket a'm in the middle tier of the stand! (apparently we now get 3 tiers of the stand in the corner!)
The fact that we cannit sell aall wor tickets for a 'local' game away sez everything aboot wor current predicament! <(we naa aall the BIG words!)

Wor train gets into Piccadilly (Manchester) @ '11.06 bells' tomorrow mornin', which gives us plenty of time to get 'completleee comatosed' before the '3 bells' kick off!

We can anly hope that we play like we did against Chelski last week and NOT like we did against Sheff Wed in the Leegue Cup!--

Watch this space for a match report on Sunday---and pleeze! pleeeeze! anothaa 2-0 win like we did in the Leegue Cup last October and NOT anothaa 5-0 hammerin' like we suffered in the Premyaa Leegue under 'Pieman' Carver's disastrous leadership in February this year!---but this iz NUFC and ANYTHING can happen!

WOR OBSESSION WITH THE INTER CITIES FAIRS CUP *** McFAUL GETS A MENTION!

Posted '12:45pm bells' Friday 2nd October 2015

THORSDAY'S 'RONNY GILL'

ONE DAY!---that's aall it's taken for the 'Ronny-Gill' to mention the Fairs Cup yet again (see article below!)
This time it waz because it waz Fairs Cup goalie Iam McFaul's birthday yesterday!
(In the last 7 days wor Fairs Cup win in 1969 haz been mentioned 3 times)

WOR OBSESSION WITH THE INTER CITIES FAIRS CUP *** 5 DAYS BETWEEN MENTIONS

Posted '12:48pm bells' Thorsday 1st October 2015

Last Friday we said that we thought that it would be ne more than 10 days before 'The Ronny-Gill mentioned the Fairs Cup again!

We were reet!---az it anly took FIVE days az it waz mentioned in yesterdays 'rag' with the story focusin' on wor defeat of Inter Milan in the competition way back in 1970!
The question on everbodys lips! <(or at least mine anyway!) iz how many days can they gan this time withoot mentionin' it!?
(We will keep yoo posted!) 


IZ THE HIGHWAYS AGENCY RUN BY A MACKEM?

On a completlee different subject---aa waz drivin' back from Redditch in deepest Worcestershire last neet and waz diverted FOWER times!
The M1 waz shut at Nottingham so I had to divert up the A38!
The A1 waz shut at Scotch Corner so I had to divert up the A19!
The A19 waz shut at the Tees flyover so I had to divert through Smogland!
The exit to the Washington Highway waz shut so I had to divert alang The Felling Bypass!
EVERY set of traffic lights on this road changed to RED when I got anywhere near them! (aboot 10 sets of lights!) <(they must have been waitin' for me!)
The joys of truckin'!

Lets hope NUFC have better luck on Saturday when we face Man City away! (Match build up to this game tomorrow)

SMB TICKETS NUW ON SALE!

Posted '12:25 pm bells' Tuesday 29th September 2015

THE LAST TIME WE WERE THERE!
"ARE THEY PEOPLES HOUSES!?"

Tickets for wor annual torturous visit to The SOS next month are nuw on sale to season ticket holders with 100 loyalty points or more <(those of yoo who have been to at least 100 away games!)

Tickets are priced @ £39 for big kids, £26 for zimmerframeites ower 65 and £16 for under 16s and sprogs!

THE TOON 2 THE CHELSKI PENSIONERS 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2015-2016

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 27th September 2015

PEREZ SENDS IN A CORNER AND WIJNALDUM HEEDS HOME (centre of pic)
'GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!'

"IT FEELS LIKE A DEFEAT!"

If you'd asked any Toon fan before the game if we would be happy with a draw against the champions of Ing-er-land, 99.99% would have taken it!

To be 2-0 up and then concede 2 late goals waz heartbreakin' but not entirely unexpected az we nearly hoyed aall 3 points away at the end!

We played well for a change and went straight for goal from the start with Perez gannin close orly on!

VIEW FROM THE MILBURN STAND BALCONY WITH THE EAST STANDS LIGHTS BLARIN'
THE CIVIC CENTRE AND THE NORTH SEA BEYOND ARE ON THE HORIZON!

It waz indeed Perez who gave us the lead just before the break when hiz shot went in off the post @ The Leazes End to send the crowd into raptures!

Wor lead waz doubled midway through the 2nd half when a Perez corner foond the heed of Wijnaldum and he foond a space at the far side of the Gallowgate goal to put us in wonderland az the roof lifted off the stadium! (see top pic!)

Then 2 subs by Chelski proved to be the tornin' point when 1st sub Ramires hit an unstoppable drive past Tim Krul to half the deficit with just 10 mins to gan!

Worse waz to follow just 5 mins later when a free kick by 2nd sub Willian unsighted Krul and the baall ended up in the back of wor net!---A 'KRUL' BLOW for aall of us!

It could have been worse at the death when anothaa free kick by Chelski waz palmed away by wor goalie and the game ended aall square!---but! it felt like a defeat after bein' 2 up!

A much (much!) better performance than wor last 3 games and we can anly hope that this iz a revival at last!


Man of the match : It haz to be Kevin Mbabu who waz makin' hiz Premyaa Leegue debut and MUST be in wor startin' line up next week against 'The Blue Moonies' in Manchester!

Toon team: Krul, Mbemba, Coloccini, Mbabu, Sissoko (De Jong 92), Anita, Colback (Obertan 55), Wijnaldum, Perez, Mitrovic (Toney 85)

Attendance: 48,682 (3,161 Pensioners (of various ages!)
The crowd waz less than we predicted (50,000) but with adult prices startin' at £39 and juniors at £22 and of course a late kick off for live telly, it wasn't that bad---waz it!? 

THE TOON v THE CHELSKI PENSIONERS **** THIS EVENIN'!

Posted '11:13am bells' Saturday 26th September 2015

ST JAMES' PARK---VIEW FROM LEAZES PARK ROAD

A beleaguered NUFC take on Champions Chelski @ St James' Park @ '5:30 bells' hopin' (and prayin'!) for at least a GOAL to cheer!
Wor visitors are not surprisingly odds on favourites to take the 3 points back to 'The Smoke' az we look for wor forst win of the season in the leegue at the 7th attempt!

Mitrovic iz back after hiz 3 match suspension and we can anly hope that he stays on the pitch for 90 minutes and gets us on the score sheet!

Havin' lost to a Sheff Wed resorve side durin' the week in the Leegue Cup---and not forgettin' last Saturdays debacle against Wotfad, wor confidence iz at an aall time low <(that's the players AND the fans!) and a hat-trick of home defeats in a week would set yet anothaa UNWANTED record!

We will of course be there to cheer on the team az we aalways de (through the cracks of wor fingers!) and a crowd of 50,000 iz expected, alang with the SKY TV audience of a few million!
Chelski have sold 3,161 tickets for level 7 of The Leazes End---lets hope they are NOT smilin' at the end of the game!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime tomorrow az per usual of course, az we attempt to beat wor visitors @ St James' for the FOURTH TIME IN A ROW! <(we definatly WANT this record!)  

ALL 'GLUED UP'!

Posted '1:37pm bells' Friday 25th September 2015

Playermaker? Siem De Jong haz sounded yet anothaa 'battle cry' after the last 3 desperate debacles against West Ham, Wotfad and Sheff Wed Resorves!--and haz urged the players to 'stick together' against Champions Chelski @ St James' Park tomorrow evenin'!

WOR OBSESSION WITH THE INTER CITIES FAIRS CUP!

Posted '1:05pm bells' Friday 25th September 2015

Yet again 'The Ronny-Gill' haz mentioned us winnin' 'The Fairs Cup' way back in 1969!---We can't seem to gan more than a week withoot futbaall writer John 'Gibbo' Gibson mentionin' it ower! and ower! and ower! and ower again! in hiz column!

The question on everybodys lips ---IZ!---how long will it be before wor LAST major trophy win 46 years, 3 months and 2 weeks ago iz mentioned again in the local 'rag'?
Ne more than 10 DAYS! (at the most) I am willin' to bet----we shall see and keep yoo informed!