THE BLUE MOONIES v THE TOON *** TOMORROW TEATIME

Posted '12:12pm bells' Friday 20th February 2015

HAPPY TIMES!---THE LEEGUE CUP ORLIER THIS SEASON --WE WON 2-0!

Tomorrow we are off to Eastlands for the 2nd time this season when we take on Man City in a live telly game @ '5:30 bells' and can anly hope that the result iz the same az the last time we were here in The Leegue Cup a few months ago, when we won 2-0 thanx to goals from Aarons and Sissoko!

However!---in the Premyaa Leegue era we have lost the last TEN times against them <(which surely must be an unwanted record?) and wor prospects look bleak to say the least, given wor current form!

There are a number of 'crocked' NUFC players who will NOT be participatin': Steve Taylor, Siem De Jong and Paul Dummett will aall be missin', while Remy Cabella and Cheik Tiote's fitness remains a big worry!

The game iz a complete sell-oot, but we have ne idea if NUFC have taken up wor full allocation of tickets for the away end like we did in The Leegue Cup! <(we shall see!)

History lesson: We forst played Man City 115 years ago (sorry! 122 years ago!) on 21st October 1893 @ Hyde Road when they went by their previous name of 'Ardwick'
We won 3-2 thanx to goals from Joe Wallace, Tom Crate and an own goal and 3,000 were present in this old 2nd Division game.

In total we have played them 173 times, winnin' 71, drawin' 39 and losin' 63 times!

'Geordie Times' history: An FA Cup replay @ Maine Road 46 years ago when we lost 2-0 in front of a 60,000 plus crowd! (Archive match report below---ground 007)  *

A full Geordie Times match report on tomorrow's game will appear here sometime on Sunday (hopefully!?)

JOHN THE UNDERTAKER'S MEMORABILIA SALE *** THIS SUNDAY @ SJP

Posted '12:39 pm bells' Thorsday 19th February 2015

The vast collection of programmes, books and othaa memorabilia of The Toon's number one fan and great friend of ours, John 'The Undertaker', gans on sale in an auction @ St James' Park this Sunday with aall procceds gannin to The Bobby Robson Foundation

John, tragically lost hiz life alang with fellow Toon fan and friend 'Liam from the Lamp' in the MH17 horror. (when their plane waz shot doon ower the Ukraine az they travelled to New Zealand to watch The Toon)
John waz an unbelievable supporter who had anly missed one game in ower 40 years (due to a family bereavement) and had visited a grand total of ethaa 332 or 333 grounds (we're not sure exactly) to watch NUFC's 1st team, the resorve and junior teams in action!
(We believe that this iz the most by ANY fan from ANY club!) 

He had aalso been to 116 consecutive European competition games home and away az well!---from 1977 onwards!
(Again---a record that will be hard to beat!)

Viewin' starts on Saturday from '10:00 bells' to '4:00 bells' and again on Sunday from '10:00 bells' til noon when the auction starts!
There are 224 lots aaltogether in hiz huge collection and lot prices range from £20 to £2,000

One programme in hiz collection which iz very (very!) rare iz the Pecsi Doza away programme from The Inter Cities Fairs Cup campaign in 1970 and we believe that John had paid quite a considerable sum for it! (see top of page)

Hiz last ever game waz against Oldham in wor forst pre season game of this season before the tragedy unfolded two days later and that programme iz up for auction az well!

We can't be there on Saturday, az of course we have a game away to Man City, but we will be there on Sunday to witness the auction and will let yoo know just how much waz raised.

RIP JOHN!   

"NE CUPS TO CHEER!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 18th February 2015

Match comments from wor new futbaall correspondent
'Curious George'!

The Toon went oot of their last two cup competitions in two days when the U18s lost 3-0 to Chelski in The FA Youth Cup qwaataa final on Munday neet and last neet the U21 resorve side lost 3-1 to Morpeth Toon in The Northumberland Senior Cup semi final!

On Munday a MAGnificent crowd of 11,664 torned oot @ St James' Park to cheers the youngins on and they nearly did it! by takin' the holders Chelski to extra time---But 3 goals in that period from the visitors finished us off !

And then last neet @ 'Blue Flames' in Benton a MUGnificent crowd of 405 watched on az Morpeth Toon from The Northern Leegue, knocked us oot at the semi final stage of The Northumberland Senior Cup---Tom Heardman gettin' wor anly goal of the two games!

THE TOON U18s v CHELSKI U18s *** FA YOUTH CUP QWAATAA FINAL **** TONEET @ SJP!

Posted '11:11am bells' Munday 16th February 2015

FA YOUTH CUP ACTION @ SJP 2 YEARS AGO v DARLO U18s

After the weekends FA Cup results ( not includin' 'us' of course!) where both The SMBs and The Smoggies were eliminated <("ha!ha!") there iz now just ONE north east team left in any of the cup competitions, namely wor U18s, who play holders Chelski @ '7:05 bells' toneet @ 'The Cathedral on the Hill' in The FA Youth Cup. (The reason the kick off iz @ '7:05' iz because it iz bein' shown live on Chelski TV!)

Unfortunateleee 'yours truly' wont be there az aa have to gan to graft, but we are sendin' a new mystery reporter to cover the game for 'The Geordie Times'!---and a full match report on the game will appear here tomorrow and hiz/hor identity will be revealed then! <(bet yi cannit wait to see just who it iz!?)

Admission toneet iz FREE TO AALL via The East Stand and because of this NUFC are hopin' for a big crowd to cheer on wor youngins to the semi finals!

THE HEEDBANGERS 1 NUNEATON BORO 2 *** CONFERENCE

Posted '11:06am bells' Sunday 15th February 2015

"IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHIN' 'THE TOON'!"


ADAM CAMPBELL (centre of pic in white shirt) PUTS
'THE HEEDBANGERS' AHEED FROM THE SPOT!
 

With ne Toon games to gan te it waz decided to heed for 'The Heed' and take in their Conference game against bottom side Nuneaton!

'Tex' Taylor and Les 'the Heedbanger' were my drinkin' companions and we started off in 'The Crown' in Coatsworth Road in Bensham for the customary pre match 'liquid lubrications'!

Just ower the road from 'The Crown' in Windmill Hills there are breathtakin' views of The Toon and St James' Park in particular from the high vantage point!

It waz then a mini bus ride with a few othaa Heedbangers and we arrived @ Gatesheed Stadium just before kick off in anticipation of a big victory for Gatesheed!

Think again!---just like The Toon's previous two games this waz absolute garbage az relegation fodder Nuneaton wernt there just to make up the numbers!

The Heed took the lead through Toon loanee Adam Campbell from the penalty spot in the 6th minute and the big victory waz lookin' good! ----"WRANG!"


ACTION AT 'THE BYKER WAALL END' 
(the 'Byker waall' in the east end of Newcastle can be seen
on the horizon across the Tyne)


The game just petered oot after this and just before the end of the half we decided to gan to the concourse for some much needed 'lubrications'---but the queue waz massive and to top it aall Nuneaton equalised in forst half stoppage time! <(which we of course, missed!)

Aa waited til the queue died doon and ended up missin' a few minutes of the 2nd half az aa downed mee can of 'Worthy' in a plastic container in the concourse!

Back on the terraces the natives were gettin' restless az The Heed just couldn't break doon the visitors defence---and then disaster struck when Nuneaton were awarded a penalty of their own which waz convorted to the delight of the 20 odd diehards who had made the jorney to Tyneside!

THE 20 ODD NUNEATON FANS CAN JUST BE SPOTTED BELOW
THE LETTER 'B' IN THE FAR STAND
(the letters stand for Gatesheed Metropolitan Borough Cooncil!)

That's the way it ended and the teams came off to loud booin' from the fans and a slatin' for the coachin' staff!

Gatesheed's play-off hopes now look bleak and we heeded for The Railway Club next to the High Level Bridge for the post match 'gargels' to discuss anothaa horror show futbaall match!
"It's just like watchin' The Toon!"

Attendance: 1,047 (26 Nuneaton diehards!) *

PS:
We said yesterday that 'The Geordie Times' would reveal wor new futbaall correspondent today--but protracted negotiations with hiz agent are still on gannin' and we shud? have sommik to tell yiz tomorrow! (hopefully!)  

"BLANKETY BLANKETY BLANKETY BLANK!"

Posted '10:32am bells' Saturday 14th February 2015


"YOU'LL NEVER! GET RID OF ME, IF YOU FOLLOW NUFC!"

Yet again for wot seemz like a fortnightly occurrence theeze days, we have anothaa blank weekend to fill in thanx to wor disastrous elimination from the FA Cup on January 3rd @ Lestaa City!
The resorves and junior sides arnt even playin' this Saturday eetha makin it a 'blankety blankety blankety blank' weekend for those of us who 'need a fix'!

Ironically, wor U18s are in action on Munday neet @ SJP in the FA Youth Cup qwaataa final, when we play current holders Chelski @ '7:05 bells' (FREE ADMISSION to AALL in The East Stand!)

And then on Tuesday neet wor U21 resorve side play Morpeth Toon for a Northumberland Senior Cup semi final tie @ Blue Flames, Benton @ '7:30 bells' (EVERYONE MUST PAY!)

I say 'ironically' az I will be at graft both neets on mee usual night trunk truck run to the Bormingham area and will be unable to attend eethaa game! <(my priority iz AALWAYS to attend 1st team games and then new groonds for lesser games!)

But fear not!---'The Geordie Times' team will be oot in force at both games to bring yoo a match report the followin' day and we will have anothaa new member to add to wor team of dedicated correspondents, who will be revealed sometime tomorrow! <(watch this space!)

Meeenwhile!-- 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston are in FA Vase action today @ Glossop North End and we wish them well in their quest to get back to Wembley, where they won the trophy in 2012

THE CRYSTAL BAALLS 1 THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '1:43pm bells' Thorsday 12th February 2015

"ARE YOO PARDEW IN DISGUISE!?" <(ne doubt aboot it!)

THE TOON (in grey) MAKE A RARE 'SORTE' INTO THE PALACE BOX
IN THE 2nd HALF!

Aa divvint want to soond like a broken record!, but for 'Stoke' last Sunday read 'Palace' last neet!

Anothaa aaful performance where the baall waz given away continuously and kicked high up the field aimlessly--and two passes were the most we could seem to put together!
Shots on target were virtually 'NIL' and Pardew's pitiful Palace were ne better than us, in a game where we hardly crossed the half way line in the 2nd half!

Both goals were scored at 'The Holmesdale Double Decker Stand End' and the one bright spot of the game for us waz when Pappy Cisse heeded home from a reet hand cross from Janmaat just 3 minutes before the break to set us up for wor SEVENTH win 'on the boonce' @ Selhurst Park!  (Coloccini then got hit with a coin thrown by a tosser from that end, which just missed hiz eye!)

1st HALF ACTION AT 'THE DOUBLE DECKER END'!

It wasn't to be though az we huffed and puffed wor way through the 2nd period which waz virtually spent in wor own half of the pitch!
The Palace equaliser waz an accident waitin' to happen---and it did in the 73rd minute when Campbell fired home!

Late defensive substitutions by Carver to 'save the point' then happened to loud disapproval from the 3,000 or so Toon fans in the away section with chants of "Are yoo Pardew in disguise!?" az Palace went for the winner!

Indeed!---BOTH teams are in 'Pardew's mould' az of course Carver haz just carried on the same system when Pardew 'jumped ship'!

Anothaa one to confine to the dustbin I'm afraid!

'POST' MATCH ACTION!

After the game John Carver said (unbeleeevibleee!):
"That's another game unbeaten!"---"That's ONE win, THREE draws and TWO defeats now, which is NOT bad in this League!"

"Hang on just a minute though, John!"---in othaa words that's SIX points in SIX leegue games (an average of ONE point a game!)---enough to get yoo relegated in a normal season! <(ne mention of the FA Cup defeat by Lestaa City, mind! (That's ONE win in SEVEN games, with THREE draws and THREE defeats under hiz guidance since he took the reigns!)

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Haidara, Colback, Sissoko, Cabella (Dummett 85), Perez (Riviere 91), Gouffran, Cisse (Abeid 77)

Attendance: 25,118 (3,000 or so Toon fans) *      

THE CRYSTAL BAALLS V THE TOON *** TONEET

Posted '10:25am bells' Wednesday 11th February 2015


THE LAST TIME WE WERE HERE (SEPTEMBER!) RIVIERE SCORES FROM
THE PENALTY SPOT IN THE LEEGUE CUP---WE WON 3-2!


For the 2nd time this season we must heed for the depths of sooth London where we take on 'I beg your Pardew's Palace side @ Selhurst Park <(comin' here once mid-week iz bad enough---but TWICE!???)

We are on the '12:25 bells' choo choo train to King's Cross and shud arrive in good time for some customary 'gargels' aroond that area!

Team news: Siem De Jong haz suffered a collapsed lung and will be oot for the foreseeable future, while Steve Taylor, Ronaldo Aarons, Rob Elliot and Cheik Tiote are aall 'crocked' and wont feature toneet @ '8 bells'!

Selhurst Park iz a lucky ground az far az we are concerned and we are gannin for wor SEVENTH win in a row there! <(lang may it continue!)

History lesson: Amazingly wor forst ever visit to Selhurst Park waz az recently az 1965 when we drew 1-1 in an (old 2nd Division game in front of 21,756. Bobby Cummings scored wor goal that day!

'Geordie Times' history: 45 years ago! (see ground number 014 archive report from 1970 which iz printed below!)

A full 'Geordie Times' match/hootch report will appear here az per usual in good course! *

THE TOON U21s 1 THE ARSE U21s 2 @ ST JAMES' PARK *** MONDAY NEET

Posted '11:11pm bells' Tuesday 10th February 2015 <(better late than never!)

Match report by wor new female futbaall correspondent
'Rosie Bear'!

Followin' on from 'Beanpole' Crouch's 90th minute equaliser for Stoke the day before, 'The Toon' fell to their 2nd cruel blow in two days @ SJP when a last gasp goal from 'The Arse' U21s gave the visitors aall 3 points at a less than packed groond!

'The Arse' took the lead in the 36th minute when Iwobo weaved through The Toon's defence to beat goalie Freddie Woodman @ The Gallowgate End!

Then in the 55th minute Dan Barlaser shot through a crowd of defenders to level things and send the 1,000 plus crowd, mostly housed in The East Stand, wild with delight!

That 'delight' didn't last, however, and deep into stoppage time Lipman heeded home @ The Leazes End to secure the 3 points for The Arse's 2nd string in this U21s 2nd Division game.
The Toon, despite this result, remain 'top of the tree' in forst place in the table!

Attendance: 1,305 (highest of the season home or away!)  *

THE TOON 1 THE P*SS POTTERS of STOKE 1 ***PREMYAA LEEGUE 2014-2015

Posted '10:42am bells' Munday 9th February 2015

"THE QUESTION ON EVERYBODYS LIPS PRIMEMINISTER---IS!"----
"IS WATCHING US TALK ABOUT THE ECONOMY AND DEFICIT 
MORE INTERESTING THAN WATCHING
NEWCASTLE v STOKE ON SKY?"
"WELL! THE ANSWER HAS GOT TO BE YES!!!"

"MR BEAN SPOILS THE PARTY!!!" 

A visit to The Newcastle Arms before the match told it's own story on just wot the attendance waz likely to be, az the bar waz half empty just two hours befor kick off, when normally it would be 'packed to the rafters'

A few 'liquid lubrications' later and it waz time to heed for The Milburn Stand level 7 to take up wor seats and the huge gaps in The Leazes End away section told us that this would be the lowest crowd of the season (Stoke had sold less than half of their 3,000 allocation of tickets!)

If yoo were watchin' this match in the hoose then yoo surely would have reached for the 'remote' and switched the telly ower to sommik more interestin' like 'The Politics Show' with Andrew Marr!

For us who were sat freeezin' inside SJP it waz a different story az we didn't have that option and just had to sit and suffer this dross on the pitch below us!

CABELLA SENDS IN A FREE KICK @ THE LEAZES END (1st half)

A truly aafil game between two mid-table sides who were lookin' ower their shoulders at even worse dross below us in the table!

By half time we were wishin' that it waz 'full time' az both teams gave the baall away time after time and that 5-1 victory against them last season seemed a very lang time ago! (and highly improbable today!)


VIEW FROM THE MILBURN STAND BALCONY TOWARDS THE EAST STAND


Jack Colback proved to be wor savior when it looked certain that the game would end goal-less when he fired home in the 74th minute @ The Gallowgate End to awake the lifeless crowd from their slumbers!
Reely!--he shouldn't have been on the pitch az a bad tackle from him on a Stoke players not lang before, waz waved on when a bookin' waz deserved. He should have been sent off az this waz hiz 2nd bookin' of the game but the ref Mr 'Friend' thankfully missed the incident!
Super-sub'? Gabriel Obertan then missed a great chance to win the game when he 'fluffed hiz lines' inside the box---and a forthaa chance from Perez who weaved through the visitor defence, only to blast the baall high ower the bar, when it waz easier to score, would prove to be very costly indeed just a few minutes later!


THE TOON ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END GOAL


The P*ss Potts' then sent on their 'secret weapon', namely 'Bean Pole Crouch' with just 10 minutes to gan and some frantic defendin' @ The Leazes End from us looked to have secured the 3 points---BUT!---with just seconds to gan before the board waz raised for stoppage time up stepped 'Mr Beanpole' to heed home at the near post with Tim Krul in The Toon goal well and truly beaten!

A predictable result, but with 2 valuable points chucked away (yet again!) it leaves us stuck in 11th place, 11 points above the drop zone!

Toon team: Krul, Janmaat, Haidara, Anita (Cisse  65), Coloccini, Williamson, Sissoko, Colback, Perez, Cabella ( Obertan 69), Sammy Ameobi (Abeid 86)

Attendance: 47,763 (the lowest of the season which waz originally predicted by 'The Geordie Times'--but we changed wor minds when we hord that they had slashed prices to try and get bums on seats, but it didn't work this time!---wonder why???) (No more than 1,300 P*ss Potts' who sang 'Delilah', by Tom Jones umpteen times---WHY?---Tom Jones comes from sooth Wales, NOT Staffordshire!???)   *


In othaa news The U21s are takin' on 'The Arse U21s @ SJP @ '7 bells' tooneet, if yoo fancy freeezin' to death again!

Az iz usual in theeze situations when 'The mad-sad groundhopper' can't get to a resorve or junior game because of 'graft', we will be sendin' a new member of wor team to report on toneets proccedings!---watch this space tomorrow to find oot just who he/she iz!
PS: will be updated on Tuesday neet sometime <(remember! we bring yoo aall the news forst hand, second!