UK TOP 20 BEST SUPPORTED CLUBS *** AVERAGE GATES 2013-2014

Updated '11:35am bells' Monday 26th May 2014

ST JAMES' PARK *** HOME OF THE UKs 3rd BEST SUPPORTED CLUB!
(VIEW OF THE MILBURN STAND FROM BARRACK ROAD)
(Note the size of the red double decker bus in comparison to the stand!)

Below iz a list of the top 20 supported clubs in the old UK last season!
'The Toon' az per usual are in thord place!

1 The Manc Muppets *** 75,207 (2nd highest in the world)
2 The Arse *** 60,013 (7th highest in the world)
3 The Toon *** 50,395 (13th highest in the world!)
4 The Manc Blue Moonies *** 47,080 (15th highest in the world)
5 Glasgaay Celtic *** 46,808 (18th highest in the world)
6 The Liverbirds *** 44,671 (24th highest in the world)
7 Glasgaay Rangers *** 42,938 (28th highest in the world)
8 The Chelski OAPs *** 41,482 (32nd highest in the world)
9 The SMBs *** 41,090 (33rd highest in the world)
10 The Toffee Noses *** 37,732 (40th highest in the world)
11 The Hazbeenz & Villians *** 36,081 (world position not known?)
12 Sporz *** 35,808
13 The Jellied Eels Mob *** 34,197
14 Sooothampton *** 30,212
15 Cardiff Red Herrings *** 27,430
16 The Canary Custard Crumbles *** 26,805
17 The P*ss Potters *** 26,137
18 The Baggie Troosers *** 25,194
19 Leeedz *** 25,088
20 The Basil Brush Brigade *** 24,995

STEPTOE & SON! **** "COMIN' SOOON!"

Posted '9:04 pm bells' Saturday 24th May 2014


"THE CELEBRATIONS HAVE STARTED IN
 'SHEPHERD'S BUSH' AALREADY!!!"


QPRs 1-0 win ower 'The Derby Coonty Sheeps*aggers' in the Championship Play Off final @ Wembley today, meeenz that we must heed for the Shepherd's Bush area of London once again after a one year absence to face 'arry's  Rag and Bone Men'!

They replace 'The (relegated!) Jackson (less!) Jivers of Fulham' from that part of the capital, and visits to Bornley and 'The Bazil Brush Brigade of Leicester', make up the teams to retorn to 'The Premyaa' next season!

"THE 'REAL' DEAL!"

Posted '2:33 bells' Friday 23rd May 2014

"THE 'DADDY' OF AALL FUTBAALL CLUBS!"

'The Geordie Times' haz just foond oot that we are to have Spanish opposition in wor one and anly pre-season home game against!----------Wait for it!--------------------------------------------------------------
--REAL!!!!!!--- "Er!" ---SOCIEDAD!!!!

The game will tek place @ St James' on Sunday 10th August with a '1:30 bells' kick off!

"OVER-SEAZ IZ THE BEE'Z KNEEZ!"

Posted '2:10pm bells' Friday 23rd May 2014

For the forst time in the history of The Univorse, 'The Geordie Times' haz now had more owerseaz pageviews on this website than pageviews from the old UK

Owerseaz 'hits'***56,856
UK 'hits'***********56,711
Total 'hits'********113,567

We thank each and every one of yoo from Mexico to Mars for loggin' into this daft blog!

Cheers!

FINK (the mad-sad groundhopper!) and the rest of 'the team'!

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

"THOSE WERE 'THE DAYS' MY FRIEND!" *** QUIZ ANSWER!

Posted '1:27pm bells' Wednesday 21st May 2014


BOBBY MITCHELL SCORES THE TOON'S 3rd GOAL
TO SEAL VICTORY IN THE 1955 FA CUP FINAL
(WOR LAST EVER DOMESTIC TROPHY!
FINAL SCORE 3-1)

'The Geordie Times' computaaa went into meltdown at the sheer number of replies we got to wor quiz question yesterday (whey! ONE actually!)
The answer to yesterday's 'Geordie Times' quiz question of:
"How many days iz it since NUFC last won a major domestic trophy!"---IZ!:

21,563 days withoot a major domestic trophy!
(we got it horribly wrang! az we worked it oot at a mere 21,087!)

'Alex of St George' haz corrected us and wins the forst prize!--- Which iz!: He MUST! attend EVERY! NUFC home and away game next season!
(He haz since threatened to jump off the Tyne Bridge!)


An NUFC club spokesman said: "The Fat Controller' iz absolutely delighted that we have passed the '20,000 days mark' withoot a domestic trophy!"
"It makes Arsenal's 3,283 days withoot a trophy pale into insignificance, compared to our magnificent total!"

"Our ambition now is to pass the '25,000 days mark' and we hope to do it by signing 'on loan' and 'free transfer' players and play wor second team/juniors in the 'cups'!" 

"THOSE WERE 'THE DAYS' MY FRIEND!"

Posted '12:40pm bells' Tuesday 20th May 2014

WEMBLEY 1955

Last Friday az aa drove me truck doon to the Bormingham area once again, an 'Arsehole' fan from Melbourne in Australia came onto 'Talk Sport' and telt anybody who cared to listen with hiz 'sob story' that 'The Arse' had went 3,283 days since they had last won a domestic trophy! (9 years plus)

It got me 'finkin'???? how many days waz it since 'The Toon' won a domestic trophy???? The last one bein' the FA Cup ower 59 years ago on May 7th 1955!

Whey!---and usin' mee calculator on mee 'tellin bone', (and fingers and toes!) aa worked it oot! (including leap years!)

How many days do YOO 'fink' it iz ???? (includin' today!)

Ne cheatin' to work it oot yisel, mind!

It's one of the followin' five answers:
See if yoo can guess which one?????

"IZ IT!":
1: 14,988 ?
2: 15,701 ?
3: 18,005 ?
4: 20,805 ?
5: 21,087 ?

Aall give yiz the answer tomorrow--sometime! (NE CHEEETIN'!)
       

THE HEEDBANGERS 1 THE CAMBRIDGE BOAT RACERS 2 *** CONFERENCE PLAY OFF FINAL @ WEMBLEY

Posted '2:13pm bells' Monday 19th May 2014


HEEDBANGERS FANS CELEBRATE JACK LESTER'S GOAL!


"HEARTACHE FOR HEEDBANGERS!"

It' just wasn't to be, az 'The Heed' lost 2-1 to Cambridge in a lacklustre game @ Wembley in front of 8,000 plus Heedbangers and 10,000 plus 'Boat Racers'!

It waz a gloriously hot sunny day doon in 'London toon' az the train, packed with Heedbangers and fans of othaa north east clubs descended on King's Cross!

'THE BOAT RACERS' OOTSIDE 'THE GLOBE'!

The pubs though aroond Baker Street tube station like 'The Globe' were packed with Cambridge fans and the boozer we started off in, namely 'The Alsop Arms' waz aalso full of them, with just a few 'Heedbangers' in attendance---mainly wor motley crew!

We then moved on to Willseden Junction which iz just a couple of stops from Wembley for the final gargels before the match in 'The Royal Oak' before catchin the tube to Wembley Central!

It waz bakin' hot az we waalked up to the stadium and on enterin' aa could see that it waz a 100 times better than the old Wembley which aa last visited in 2000 for a Toon FA Cup semi against Chelski (we lost of course!)

'The Boat Racers' seemed to have slightly more fans than Gatesheed who's numbers were swelled by quite a few Toon fans wearin' the Black n white stripes! <("love thy neighbour!")

'The Heed' started off sluggishly and couldn't break doon the Cambridge defence az they attacked the 'East End' on the far side from us---They wornt any better, but then Gatesheed stepped up a gear in the 2nd period of the half, but withoot success, and the teams went in 'even Stevens' at the break!---it waz anybodys game!

The 2nd half started with a few attacks from Cambridge and they made the vital breakthrough in the 51st minute when Liam Hughes 'heeded home' past 'The Heed' keeper Adam Bartlett after a cross from Ryan Donaldson <(an ex Toon and Heed player!)

Then in the 70th minute Donaldson again broke Tyneside hearts with a magnificent free kick into the corner of the net!

The Heedbangers didn't give up though and Jack Lester pulled a goal back with just a few minutes remainin' az the Heed fans celebrated wildly, waving flags and settin off smoke bombs! ---But it waz to ne avail az the Cambridge keeper timewasted and then a bad injury to one of their players (who waz stretchered off!) forced 7 minutes of stoppage time with The Heed lookin' frantically for the equaliser to force extra time!---it wasn't to be though and the ref blew for full time to condemn them to at least anothaa season in The Conference!---next time maybeez???

Attendance: 19, 613 (8,000 broken hearted Heedbangers!)

      

"WEMBLEY!---WEMBLEY!---HERE WE COME!"

Posted '12:48 bells' Saturday 17th May 2014

"IZ THAT THE TYNE BRIDGE!?"

Tomorrow mornin' we 'heed' to Wembley in support of Gatesheed in their quest to get back into the Futbaall Leegue after a 54 year absence!
8,000 plus 'Heedbangers' (90% of them 'gloryhunters' like us!) will be 'waalkin' the waalk' doon Wembley Way tomorrow afternoon and at least the same number of Cambridge fans will be makin' the same jorney!
(kick off '4 bells')

We can anly hope that 'The Heedbangers' can de it and claim back their rightful place in leegue futbaall (They were shamefully voted oot in 1960, despite finishin' 3rd bottom, with the bottom 2 clubs, namely Hartlepools and Soothport below them , both re-elected!)

We are on the '7:45 bells' train to King's Cross and a glorious day iz expected--on and off the pitch! <(fingers and toes crossed!)

A full Geordie Times match and boozer report will follow sometime on Monday!
"HOWAY THE HEED!"

"HEEDIN' OFF TO WEMBLEY!"

Posted '2:15pm bells' Friday 16th May 2014

In celebration of Gatesheed's trip to Wembley on Sunday we have 'dug up' this archive from the distant past, when The Toon played The Heed @ Redheugh Park in Gatesheed some 44 years ago!

There'll be more to follow on the Wembley trip tomorrow!

"NO ONE LIKES US!" *** "WE DON'T CARE!"

Posted '1:16pm bells' Thorsday 15th May 2014

The above line iz taken from a Millwaall song, but in this case it iz NUFC who are singin' it to the fans of wor great club!

THE BACK PAGE OF TODAY'S 'RONNY GILL'

The club had reiterated <(we hate that F*****' word!) that survival in The Premyaa Leegue takes aall presidents ower everythin' else and that 'The Fat Controller's' 'puppet on a string' 'I Beg Your Pardew', will indeed be wor manager/spokesman/dogsbody, come wot may ower the next 12 months!

The 'cups' again are of NO priority and we will NOT be attemptin' to win any, az this of course will 'interfere' with wor survival plans!

We are aalso telt that we CANNOT compete with the likes of Liverpool and will have to live within our means, despite bein' in the top 20 'world rich list' and bein' the 12th best supported futbaall club on the planet! <("Pass the beggin' bowl pleeeze!")

Where do we gan from here!---whey! Wembley with Gatesheed on Sunday for starters!---NUFC certainly won't get the chance to gan there next season!---that's a CERTAINTY!

Much more to follow on Gatesheed and 'The Heedbangers Army' Wembley trip ower the next couple of days!