THE TOON 3 THE CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE 2 !

Updated '7:10pm bells' Sunday 3rd February 2013

"THE SISSOKO KID COMES TO THE RESCUE!"

   


THE SISSOKO KID (extreeeme right) FIRES THE BAALL
PAST CECH FOR THE WINNIN' GOAL!

This waz an absolutleee brilliant day for anyone associated with NUFC!---and a 52,000 plus crowd to see it on the BEST DAY of the season so far!

The home debut of 'The Sissoko Kid' waz a dream come true az we beat 'The European Champions' with a last minute goal to send 'the faithful' and lang sufferin' Geordie public wild with delight!

Demba Ba, who waz makin' hiz retorn to Tyneside, stuck hiz nose oot and made contact with the end of Colloccini's boot, which resulted in him bein' taken off with a 'broken bugle'< ("Er!"---"aa hope yiz divvint think that this iz a biased opinion on wor part!?")


The Toon dominated the forst half and their attackin' prowls eventually 'bore fruit' when 'Spiderman' heeded home @ 'The Gallowgate End' in the 40th minute to give us a desorved lead at the break!

'The Champions of Europe' then hit back in the 2nd period with a stunnin' strike from Lamp Frankard? ten minutes afta the re-start and then 'Mata' put 'The Pensioners' aheed just five minutes later to seemingly put 'matters' to rest and win the game for them!
Their arrogant fans in 'level 7 of 'The Leazes End' started singin': "We know who we are!----Champions of Europe!"---And who could blame them?---if WE were ever champions of Europe we'd sing it az well!

'THE TOON' ATTACK 'THE LEAZES' END IN THE 2nd HALF
(View from 'The Milburn Stand' 'level 7' balcony)

BUT!---'The Toon' are made of tougher stuff theeze days and new boy Sissoko levelled things just seven minutes later when Yoan Gouffran sped through the middle to send a shot that Chelski goalie Petr Cech could anly parry toward 'The Sissoko Kid' and he gleefully hit the rebound into the empty net to send the crowd wild!

THEN!--in the final minute---when a draw looked the likely ootcome---up stepped Yohan Cabaye to send in a pin point pass, which foond Sissoko and wor new 'number seven' rifled the baall past the dispairin' Cech from the edge of the box @ 'The Leazes End' for a wonder goal to send the faithful into 'heaven' and silence the "Champions of Europe!" chants from the 'level 7' away section!

A TOON FAN SHOWS OFF HIZ 'MAGNIFICENT FIZZEEK'
AND CELEBRATES WITH A
'BELLY FLOP' @ THE FINAL WHISTLE!

The lad who sits next to me and who iz normally very quiet (and who's name I divvint even naa!) couldn't control hiz emotions az he hugged me in celebration and danced a jig of delight on the 'level 7' balcony!--such waz the raw emotion of the occassion!< (a message to wor lass---
"honest pet!---aa still luv u! xxxx!")

Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Coloccini, Steve Taylor, Santon, Gutierrez, Perch, Sissoko (Yanga-Mbiwa 92), Cabaye, Gouffran (Marveaux 84), Cisse

Attendance: 52,314 (3,000 shell-shocked OAPs!)

Aall the other scores 'went wor way' az well, to make it 'a perfect day'and the result leaves us just two points behind the SMBs after bein' eight points behind them last week!---Wot a difference a week makes!   

'THE FRENCH CONNECTION!'***TOON FANS CELEBRATE
IN 'THE NEWCASTLE ARMS' AFTER THE GAME!

MYSTERY PUB SIGN***IT'S 'THE STRAWBERRY'!

Posted '11:50am bells' Saturday 2nd February 2013


We asked yoo at the beginnin' of the week to indentify the mystery pub sign that appeared owerneet last Sunday ootside a very famous Toon tavern!
The sign iz in French to welcome wor new 'forrin legionaires' and says!***********************
"THE STRAWBERRY"! which, of course, iz aalso the name of the tavern in question that (for thoze of yoo who divvint naa!?) sits opposite the Jackie Miburn statue (next to the lampost in the photo above) and in the shadows of 'The Gallowgate End' of St James' Park on 'Strawberry Place'!
"SO NUW YI NAA!"

THE TOON v THE KINGS ROAD OAPs OF CHELSKI ***TOOODAY!

Updated '10:00am bells' Saturday 2nd February 2013

This afternoon @ '3 bells' we face anotha 'must win' game @ St James' Park against Chelski and the game iz a virtual selloot az we write this.

Both Frenchmen Gabriel Obertan and 'Marveaux the Magician' are available again after missin' wor 2-1 win against Villa last Tuesday neet and if they play we could have a record number of 'forrin leegionaires' in wor team today!
(Chelski, on the otha hand will be withoot Eden Hazard who iz still suspended afta kickin' seven lumps of sh*** oot of the Swanzee baall boy the other week in their Leegue Cup semi final tie!)

Despite that crucial victory in midweek, we are still anly fower points off 2nd bottom place and a win iz paramoont, but can we de it with wor new 'French Forrin Leeejin'?---"we shall see @ three!"

Match report, as per usual, to follow much later! (probableee tomorrow!)

Incidentleee!---the mystery pub sign answer will appear in the next TWO hours! (see below!)
We'll keep yoo in suspense til then!

THE GEORDIE TIMES MYSTERY PUB QUIZ!

Updated '3:00pm bells' Friday 1st February 2013

The above sign appeared owerneet last Sunday on the beer terrace waall of this very famous Toon tavern!
We asked yoo then, just wot does the sign say in English?---and which pub iz the sign displayed at???

'The Geordie Times' "will reveeel aall" before wor home game against Chelski tomorrow!

WATCH THIS SPACE!

NEW SIGNIN!***NEW SIGNIN!*** THE CLOCK'S 'A' TICKED DOON!

Posted '11:01pm bells' Thorsday 31st January 2013

The transfor window haz just closed and we can tell yoo that we have (at 'six bells' toneet!) signed 17 year old Kevin Mbabu from Swiss club Servette for an undisclosed fee!

This iz the anly 'incomin'/'ootgannin' Toon transfor of the day and in total we have signed SIX players in the transfor window and selt ONE! (Demba Ba) (although rumour haz it that 'The Xisco Kid' iz off to Spain toneet!) <"let's f*****' hope so!"

AND JUST TO HOY A SPANNER INTO THE WORKS AFTER WOR GREAT WIN IN BORMINGHAM LAST NEET! *****THE TOON U21s 0 THE BISCUITMEN U21s 3 !

Posted '5:55pm bells' Wednesday 30th January 2013

"GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!"

This afternoon at a windswept Darsley Park in Benton the resorve U21s lost 3-0 to The Biscuitmen of Readings's equivilent.

Massadio Haidara made hiz debut for the Toon but we were 3-0 doon by the break thanx mainly to the sendin' off of wor goalie Jak Alnwick for a handbaall ootside the area!

It waz soon nine men az Jamie Sterry then got hiz marchin' orders in the 2nd period but there waz ne fortha score az the howlin' wind made the game farcical!
We were unable to watch this match worsels az it waz played 'behind closed doors', (again!) but we did manage to get wor faithful homin' pigeon 'Porcy' to fly ower the proccedins to bring yooo wor loyal reeeders this excluuusive match report!

THE HAZBEENZ & VILLIANS 1 THE TOON 2

Updated '2:05pm bells' Wednesday 30th January 2013

THE TOON ATTACK 'THE HOLTE END'
DURIN' THE 1st HALF
(View from 'The Corner Flag End'!)

"THE BATTLE OF 'THE ABYSS'!"

AT LAST!---an away win under wor belts on wor EIGHTEENTH attempt this season!
Two of wor latest 'French Connection' signins started the game, namely Gouffran and Sissoko and they seemed to enspire the team az we laid seige to the Villa goal az we attacked The Holte End in the forst half.
It waz Sissoko, indeed! who supplied an inch porfect pass for Cisse, who fired home in the 19th minute to give us a precious lead!

THE TOON FANS CELEBRATE CISSE'S GOAL
BY LETTIN' OFF A GREEN SMOKE BOMB!

Then, just after the half hour mark wor lead waz doubled when Yohan Cabaye hit an unstoppable right foot screamer from the edge of the box past the dispairin' Guzan in 'The Hazbeenz' goal and we looked to be 'coastin it' at this point!

However the 2nd half waz a different story with the home side startin' off 'on fire' with us on the backfoot!
A dubious 'ootside the box' penalty waz then awarded to them which they convorted to half the defecit and set us bitin' wor finger nails!
We simply couldn't get up to the end of the field where the Toon fans were housed and not one corner waz recorded by us in the whole second period!
'The Hazbeenz' had several chances to level things but thankfully Tim Krul in the Toon goal waz on top form and kept them at bay!
Wor thord recent French signin' Mbiwa then came on for a 'knackered' Sissoko 'who had run hiz socks off', to make HIS debut late on!
The final whistle waz greeted by the Toon fans az though we'd won the cup and we move FIVE ("Er! sorry"!) FOWER points clear of 'the abyss', havin' put Villa firmleee in it!

Toon team: Krul, Debuchy, Steve Taylor, Coloccini, Santon, Perch (Shola Ameobi 69) , Cabaye, Gouffran (Anita 74), Sissoko (Yanga-Mbiwa 79) Gutierrez, Cisse   

Attendance:30,334 (2,000 happy Toon fans!)



PS a word of mention to wor Jawman friends who are regular visitors to this site az they've just clocked up their THOOSANDTH HIT!---thanx for your support!

LATEST PREMYA LEEGUE TABLE (BOTTOM!)

Posted '3:15pm bells' Wednesday 30th January 2013

11 SMBs played 24/ points 29
12 The Jellied Eels Mob 23/27
13 The Canary Custards 23/26
14 Wacko Jacko Jivers 23/25
15 THE TOON 24/24
16 Sooothampton 23/23
17 Blue Wigs 24/20
The 'Abyss'!
18 Hazbeenz & Villians 24/20
19 The Biscuitmen 23/19
20 'Appy 'Arrys Ragmen 24/16  

THE HAZBEENZ & VILLIANS v THE TOON

Updated '9:20am bells' Tuesday 29th January 2013

Toneet iz probably the most important day of the season so far for NUFC, az we face a *'shell-shocked' Villa side in this 'battle to avoid the abyss' in Bormingham! (*'shell-shocked' because of their cup defeats to Bradfad City and Millwaall last week!)

'The Geordie Times' haz lornt that defender Massadio Haidara, one of wor new five French Connection signins this month, will NOT make hiz debut az waz previously thought?

'The Sissoko Kid' (Moussa Sissoko) WILL however step oot onto the Villa Park pitch in the number 7 shirt @ '7:45 bells' for his debut, but there iz ne mention of the other two signins last week, namely striker Yoan Gouffran or defender Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa in the startin' line up!?---we shall see!

It certainly iz 'the day of reckonin' for wor manager, so lets hope we can finally get wor forst away win of the season toneet at the EIGHTEENTH attempt!

We're heedin' off doon the 'A1' @ '12:30 bells'!---forst stop 'The Barton Arms' (qwaata of an hours waalk from the groond!) >>>>

For aall the latest squad numbers of wor 'French Connections' and other players, pleeeze gan to 'NUFC Squad Numbers' in the top 'tool-bar'

Full match report to follow 'sometime' tomorrow!

OTHER MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!

Posted '8:15pm bells' Monday 28th January 2013

Another excellent site which 'The Geordie Times' often visits iz a non leegue one by 'Steve B The Groundhopper' which gives info on hundreds of grounds he haz visited ower the years and can be foond @ www.stevebthegroundhopper.blogspot.co.uk