THE X X X FACTOR!***THE TOON RESORVES 5 THE PULLIS P*SS POTTS RESORVES 1

Posted '9:45am bells' Tuesday 23rd October 2012

@ a drizzzle drenched Whitley Park, Benton, the resorves ran oot 5-1 winners against The P*ss Potts of Stoke last neet.

The 'Xisco Kid' made a suprize comeback after  bein' absent for quite a while and did he shock the 200 or so hardy souls with a HAT-TRICK of quality!---(Oh! yes he did!)

The forst goal of the game however waz scored by James Tavernier who heeded in a Campbell cross beatin' their keeper ends up.

It waz then 'The X Factor Show' az Xisco scored hiz forst in the 38th minute with a fine shot from an Amalfitano cross.

Hiz 2nd came 10mins after the restart when Campbell supplied him with a pass from the goal line and he finished off neatly, givin' the 'P*ss Potts' keeper ne chance!

Xisco's hat-trick came at the mid point of the half when Inman crossed and again he made ne mistake to put us fower -nil up!

He waz then substituted to wild applause from 200 faithful present! (whey!--a few hand claps here and there---anyway!) and Abeid wrapped up wor scorin' when he fired infrom close range from a Marcus Maddison pass.

The anly 'blip' came just before the end when a horrendous defensive error let in Alabi who had the easy chance of slottin' the baall home for the visitors.

Attendance: 221 drizzle drenched diehards! 
(ne Stoke fans az far az we cud see!) 

SMBs 1 THE TOON 1

Updated '3:20pm bells' Monday 22nd October 2012

"DERBY DAY DIARY!"

THE TOON ATTACK THE SMB GOAL
IN THE FORST MINUTE!

The day started off @ a packed 'Three Bulls' in the Haymarket @ '9 bells' and then onward to 'The Newcastle Arms' @ '10 bells' where landlord Neil had opened the door bang on the hour mark (he waz telt by 'the dibble' that IF he dared open before this time then they'd 'do him'!)

Then it waz off to wor 'luxury' double decker busses parked on Barrack Road ootside The Milburn Stand, where they left @ 11:15 bells which waz qwaata of an hour before the stated departure time!?

Half an hour later and we were in the abyss, with the locals greetin us with two fingered gestures etc. (have they got nowt better to de?--like gan for a pre match drink!)

Anyway!--the busses parked up in their usual places, but away fans have now been relocated to the stand next to the swimmin' pool this season, and we were escorted to wor new place in the groond on the top tier of 'The Swimmin' Baths End'!
It waz 'high noon bells' by this time, some one and a half hours before kick off and the bar area waz packed with Toon fans byin' drinks from the kiosks.
Az usual I refused 'point blank' to drink any of the local brew az iz 'tradition' with me to abstain @ this place! (why shud aa give theeze tw*ts anymore of mee hard ornd dosh???)

Kick off time soon approached and az we took wor standin' places high up above the 'baths' the tension grew az the teams ran oot to the usual cr*p opera music (or wotever it iz?) played at full volume to try and drown the Toon fans oot! (it didnt work az many fans banged on the cr*ppy corrigated sheets at the back of the stand to applause from the Toon team who were wearin' their 'lime green high viz' strips'?

Within fower minutes of the start the away end erupted into a cauldron of noise az a Demba Ba shot fell to Yohan Cabaye and he placed hiz 'side footer' into the net in front of the travellin' 3,000 faithful, to silence the SMBs in the crowd!

We were on the front foot after this and looked likely to increase wor lead on several occassion and then the tornin' point of the game came when Cheik Tiote got himsel needlessly sent off in the 25th minute for showin' hiz studs against the SMBs Steven Fletcher when HE had aalready won a free kick!

We still tried to attack the SMB goal and were the better team for most of the game, but the advantage of havin' an extra player started payin' off for them in the second half of the second half when they had several corners in front of the 'Toon end'!
It shud be noted that 'Fab' Coloccini who waz substituted through injury in the 79th minutewaz ootstandin' and had a 'FAB' game!

We survived until the 85th minute and then horror upon horror!--Demba Ba (of aall people!) deflected a shot off wot looked like hiz heed and it went straight into wor goal past Tim Krul who had 'ne chance' of stoppin' it!

A nail bitin final few minutes then ensued but the ref, Martin Atkinson (who had a CR*P GAME!) finally blew for full time to mixed reactions from the Toon fans (some were just happy that we didnt lose it in the end ----BUT! we SHUD! have won it!)

We were then locked in for aboot an hour before bein' escorted back to the busses and az we left a little snotty nosed mackem urchin shouted "F**K OFF!" at the top of hiz voice through wor bus window.
One Toon fan replied: "We ARE tryin' to 'F**K OFF' from this place!---divvint worry son!!!"


THE MAGNIFICENT ARCHITECTURE OF SUND'LIND!
WE TOOK THIS 'SCENIC' PHOTO OF SOME
RAMSHACKLE PIGEON DUCKETS
(OR ARE THEY PEOPLES 'OUSES!?)
JUST 200 YARDS FROM THE SOS
ON WOR RETORN JORNEY! 
(THIS IZ AZ GOOD AZ IT GETS!)

We arrived back in 'The Newcastle Arms' nearly two hours after the final whistle where the bar waz packed with (shall we say!) rather inebriated fans who had watched it on the telly!

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini(Steven Taylor 79), Santon, Tiote, Cabaye, Gutierrez, Ben Arfa (Obertan 83), Ba, Shola Ameobi (Perch 38)

Attendance: 47,456 (3,000 Toon fans (estimated)


Derby fact file

Demba Ba's own goal makes him the mackems SECOND TOP goalscorer this season behind Steven Fletcher! 

Since 1966 The Toon have lost just TWO games oot of the last TWENTY THREE played in mackemland in leegue and cup and 'The Geordie Times' haz been to each and every one of them!

@ the SOS in TEN visits we have anly lost
ONCE!

TOON RESORVES v THE PULLIS P*SS POTTS RESORVES***TOONEET!

Posted '3:55pm bells' Monday 22nd October 2012

The resorves take on Stoke's equivelent @ Benton @ '7 bells' toneet!


Bring your brolly if yi gannin--coz it's gannih p*ss doon!

Match report to follow tomorrow!

SMBs v THE TOON***TOOODAY @ '1:30 BELLS'

Updated '7:10am bells' Sunday 21st October 2012


"TIL DEATH US DO PART!"

The most hated day in the futbaall calender iz upon us! and @ '11am bells' this mornin' we will start boardin' the 'Alf Garnett skool busses' to the SOS!
We will start off in 'The Three Bulls' az it iz open @ '9 bells' and move onto 'The Newcastle Arms' which cannit opens it's doors til an hour later! (on police orders!) before heedin' for Barrack Road ootside The Milburn Stand (where the busses leave from) 
Then it's onward at snails pace with a huge 'dibble' escort of motorbike ootriders, black marias and Northumbria force helicopters to 'guide us' to 'yee naa where' for wor annual 'day of hate' in this 147th derby match since season 1888-1889!

Rumour haz it that we will be 'locked in' til an hour after the end of the match, arrivin' back on Tyneside aroond aboot five thorty-ish!??
It's certain to be a very lang day!

Match report to follow on Monday---"Let's hope it's a 'good-un'!"





In the meeentime!--av 'dug up' the archive report from wor match @ joker park in 1970, which waz the last time yi cud 'pay @ the gate' to get in!  (they made them 'aall ticket' after this)
(see below!)

THE 'OTHER' TYNE/WEARY DERBY!*****TODAY @ '3 BELLS'!

Updated '7:30pm bells' Saturday 20th October 2012

Az a 'taster' for the BIG derby tomorrow, Northern Leegue sides Dunston UTS from Tyneside and Sund'lind RCA from wearyside, meet @ Federation Park, Dunston this afternoon and 'The Geordie Times' will be there to cheer on 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston, to a hopeful victory!
It's a fiver to get in if yoo fancy it (concessions for zimmerframites and sprogs!) and a crowd of 150 or so iz antisipated! (so get there soon if yi want to get in!)

Forst 'port o caall' the clubhoose!

Will post the result later!-----"Er!"--the wearysiders won 1-0 with a very! very! very! very! dodgy penalty!---well!--aa wud say that wud'nt aa!?" 

ST JAMES' PARK***IT'S A SIGN OF THE TIMES!***(THE GEORDIE TIMES!)

Photo taken by wor cheeef paparazzi fotogrofaa @ '4:35pm bells' Wednesday 17th October 2012! 

"ST JAMES' PARK SINCE 1880!"***
"AND AALWAYS WILL BE!"

LIFE BEGINS @ 40,000!

Posted '9:40pm bells' Monday 15th October 2012

Tooneeet!--- 'The Geordie Times' haz received it's FORTY THOOSANDTH 
page view and yet again we thank each and every one of yoo from the fower corners of the globe (and beyond!) for loggin' into this blog!

The top ten aall time page views are az follows:

1---United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales)---21,311
2---United States of America---6,435
3---Jawmany---838

"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

4---The Guinness Republic---820
5---Greece---688
6---Ukraine---618
7---Russia---438
8---Nigeria---280
9---Holland---267
10---Australia---245

NORTH EAST ENGLAND AVERAGE GATES (TOP 12)

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 14th October 2012 

In the run up to 'derby week' we thought we'd publish the average gates of the top north east clubs.

The Toon are of course the best supported by a lang way and have been so in the entire 21st century!

The top supported clubs in the north east are az follows:

1 THE TOON***50,559 (premya leegue)
2 SMBs***39,870 (premya leegue)
3 Smog Monsters***14,999 (championship)
4 The Monkey Hangers***4,081 (leegue 1)
5 Berwick Strangers***1,436 (scottish leegue 3)
6 Darlo***1,263 (northern leegue 1)
7 Bishops***697 (northern leegue 1)
8 The Heed***657 (conference)
9 Whitley Baywatchers***404 (northern leegue 1)
10 Guisboro***397 (northern leegue 1)
11 Dunston Bad Blue Boys***358 (northern leegue 1)
12 The Spartans of Blyth***343 (evo stick north premier leegue)

LATEST AWAY TRAVEL & TICKET NEWS!

Updated '2:30pm bells' Saturday 13th October 2012




"TIL DEATH US DO PART!"



Away bus travel bookins to the SMB game @ the SOS a week on Sunday are now bein' taken for those lucky enough to have a match ticket!
For the forst time ever a charge of five quid will be levied and fans must book their seats through the NUFC ticket office.

The 'luxury busses'? supplied by 'Alf' (see above!?) will leave Barrack Road ootside The Milburn Stand main entrance @ '11:00 bells' for the '1:30 bells' kick off!

Tickets for wor forthcomin' game against 'The Liverbirds' on Sunday 4th November  @ Anfield are on sale a @ a 'woppin' 48 quid for big kids! (the prices just gan up and up!), 36 quid for zimmerframites and 15 quid for sprogs under 17!
50 loyalty points are required.
Members sale from Monday 22nd (if there are any left!)



Tickets for Brugge away in Belgium on Thorsday 8th November are still on sale if yoo have 75 loyalty points---priced @ 33 quid---apply by next Sunday

HEEDBANGERS v CAMBRIDGE***LIVE TELLY THIS AFTERNOON!

Posted '2:50pm bells' Saturday 13th October 2012

If yoo are in desperate need of a 'futbaall fix' this afternooon because of wor inaction this weekend, then can we suggest a trip to that otha Tyneside team who play in black and white, namelee 'The Heedbangers of Gatesheed' who are in action @ The International Stadium @ '5:15 bells' against Cambridge United.

The game iz live on the 'Premier Sports Channel'

Admission, if yi fancy gannin, iz!----£14 for big kids, £9 for zimmerframeites and just 2 quid for sprogs
Footnote: the game ended 0-0!