Monday, 22 October 2012

TOON RESORVES v THE PULLIS P*SS POTTS RESORVES***TOONEET!

Posted '3:55pm bells' Monday 22nd October 2012

The resorves take on Stoke's equivelent @ Benton @ '7 bells' toneet!


Bring your brolly if yi gannin--coz it's gannih p*ss doon!

Match report to follow tomorrow!

Saturday, 20 October 2012

SMBs v THE TOON***TOOODAY @ '1:30 BELLS'

Updated '7:10am bells' Sunday 21st October 2012

"TIL DEATH US DO PART!"

The most hated day in the futbaall calender iz upon us! and @ '11am bells' this mornin' we will start boardin' the 'Alf Garnett skool busses' to the SOS!
We will start off in 'The Three Bulls' az it iz open @ '9 bells' and move onto 'The Newcastle Arms' which cannit opens it's doors til an hour later! (on police orders!) before heedin' for Barrack Road ootside The Milburn Stand (where the busses leave from) 
Then it's onward at snails pace with a huge 'dibble' escort of motorbike ootriders, black marias and Northumbria force helicopters to 'guide us' to 'yee naa where' for wor annual 'day of hate' in this 147th derby match since season 1888-1889!

Rumour haz it that we will be 'locked in' til an hour after the end of the match, arrivin' back on Tyneside aroond aboot five thorty-ish!??
It's certain to be a very lang day!

Match report to follow on Monday---"Let's hope it's a 'good-un'!"





In the meeentime!--av 'dug up' the archive report from wor match @ joker park in 1970, which waz the last time yi cud 'pay @ the gate' to get in!  (they made them 'aall ticket' after this)
(see below!)

THE 'OTHER' TYNE/WEARY DERBY!*****TODAY @ '3 BELLS'!

Updated '7:30pm bells' Saturday 20th October 2012

Az a 'taster' for the BIG derby tomorrow, Northern Leegue sides Dunston UTS from Tyneside and Sund'lind RCA from wearyside, meet @ Federation Park, Dunston this afternoon and 'The Geordie Times' will be there to cheer on 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston, to a hopeful victory!
It's a fiver to get in if yoo fancy it (concessions for zimmerframites and sprogs!) and a crowd of 150 or so iz antisipated! (so get there soon if yi want to get in!)

Forst 'port o caall' the clubhoose!

Will post the result later!-----"Er!"--the wearysiders won 1-0 with a very! very! very! very! dodgy penalty!---well!--aa wud say that wud'nt aa!?" 

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

ST JAMES' PARK***IT'S A SIGN OF THE TIMES!***(THE GEORDIE TIMES!)

Photo taken by wor cheeef paparazzi fotogrofaa @ '4:35pm bells' Wednesday 17th October 2012! 
"ST JAMES' PARK SINCE 1880!"***
"AND AALWAYS WILL BE!"

Monday, 15 October 2012

LIFE BEGINS @ 40,000!

Posted '9:40pm bells' Monday 15th October 2012

Tooneeet!--- 'The Geordie Times' haz received it's FORTY THOOSANDTH 
page view and yet again we thank each and every one of yoo from the fower corners of the globe (and beyond!) for loggin' into this blog!

The top ten aall time page views are az follows:

1---United Kingdom (England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales)---21,311
2---United States of America---6,435
3---Jawmany---838
"TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"
4---The Guinness Republic---820
5---Greece---688
6---Ukraine---618
7---Russia---438
8---Nigeria---280
9---Holland---267
10---Australia---245

Sunday, 14 October 2012

NORTH EAST ENGLAND AVERAGE GATES (TOP 12)

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 14th October 2012 

In the run up to 'derby week' we thought we'd publish the average gates of the top north east clubs.

The Toon are of course the best supported by a lang way and have been so in the entire 21st century!

The top supported clubs in the north east are az follows:

1 THE TOON***50,559 (premya leegue)
2 SMBs***39,870 (premya leegue)
3 Smog Monsters***14,999 (championship)
4 The Monkey Hangers***4,081 (leegue 1)
5 Berwick Strangers***1,436 (scottish leegue 3)
6 Darlo***1,263 (northern leegue 1)
7 Bishops***697 (northern leegue 1)
8 The Heed***657 (conference)
9 Whitley Baywatchers***404 (northern leegue 1)
10 Guisboro***397 (northern leegue 1)
11 Dunston Bad Blue Boys***358 (northern leegue 1)
12 The Spartans of Blyth***343 (evo stick north premier leegue)

LATEST AWAY TRAVEL & TICKET NEWS!

Updated '2:30pm bells' Saturday 13th October 2012



"TIL DEATH US DO PART!"


Away bus travel bookins to the SMB game @ the SOS a week on Sunday are now bein' taken for those lucky enough to have a match ticket!
For the forst time ever a charge of five quid will be levied and fans must book their seats through the NUFC ticket office.

The 'luxury busses'? supplied by 'Alf' (see above!?) will leave Barrack Road ootside The Milburn Stand main entrance @ '11:00 bells' for the '1:30 bells' kick off!

Tickets for wor forthcomin' game against 'The Liverbirds' on Sunday 4th November  @ Anfield are on sale a @ a 'woppin' 48 quid for big kids! (the prices just gan up and up!), 36 quid for zimmerframites and 15 quid for sprogs under 17!
50 loyalty points are required.
Members sale from Monday 22nd (if there are any left!)



Tickets for Brugge away in Belgium on Thorsday 8th November are still on sale if yoo have 75 loyalty points---priced @ 33 quid---apply by next Sunday

Saturday, 13 October 2012

HEEDBANGERS v CAMBRIDGE***LIVE TELLY THIS AFTERNOON!

Posted '2:50pm bells' Saturday 13th October 2012

If yoo are in desperate need of a 'futbaall fix' this afternooon because of wor inaction this weekend, then can we suggest a trip to that otha Tyneside team who play in black and white, namelee 'The Heedbangers of Gatesheed' who are in action @ The International Stadium @ '5:15 bells' against Cambridge United.

The game iz live on the 'Premier Sports Channel'

Admission, if yi fancy gannin, iz!----£14 for big kids, £9 for zimmerframeites and just 2 quid for sprogs
Footnote: the game ended 0-0!

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

ST JAMES' PARK FOR 132 YEARS!----AND AALWAYS WILL BE!

Posted '5:20pm bells' Wednesday 10th October 2012 
ST JAMES' PARK***1880-2012

The brilliant news haz nuw been conformed!----'Wonga' wor new sponsors will NOT rename the stadium 'The Bonga Wonga'!

It will stay 'ST JAMES' PARK' and az far az we are concerned it will aalways be by that name WHOEVER wor sponsors are in the future!

'Wonga' have come in for fierce criticism for bein' loan sharks!---but hang on a minute!---nebody iz holdin' a loaded revolver to anybodys heed to make them sign on the dotted line to tek oot a loan that they cannit afford to pay back!---are they???

'Wonga' are to invest in wor academy and have suggested that fans have a say in any new kit design, which makes sense az some of the strips we have had lately are horrendous, includin' wor new European 'high viz jacket coloured strip'!

'The Geordie Times' iz on the side of anybody who sees things from wor point of view!
"ST JAMES' PARK SINCE 1880!---and aalways will be!"

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

THE BONGA WONGA CONGA!?

Posted '5:20pm bells' Tuesday 9th October 2012

"THE TOON'S NEW 32,000,000 POOND SIGNIN'!"

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' through the grapevine that the finance lendin' company caalled 'WONGA' have signed a fower year deal with NUFC to be wor new sponsor for both the club shirt AND the namin' rights to St James' Park!--worth a reputed £8 million a season!

The mind boggled az to wot they might TRY and caall wor iconic stadium next, had they a mind to do so????
'THE BONGA WONGA' STADIUM perhaps???

And if we won the forst game under wor new name, we could have aallways done the!--- (WAIT FOR IT!!!)---'BONGA WONGA CONGA'!!! aroond the terraces to celebrate!!!---yi couldn't make it up!!!

They HAVE conformed, however!, that they intend to keep the St James' Park name, which can anly meeen good news! (IF it's TRUE???)

ST JAMES' PARK SINCE 1880
and aalways will be!


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