EUROPA LEEGUE LATEST!

Updated '4:05pm bells' Monday 13th August 2012

At the time of writin', there iz STILL! ne news az to wetha UEFA are to allow us to swap the home and away ties in the Europa Leegue 4th roond qualifier against Atromitos of Greece later this month!?
This iz despite news that the ties and dates wud be conformed by last Friday???

Az per usual it's US who suffer, az the langer we leave to book flights to Athens the more expensive it becomes!---the neva endin' money drainin' saga gans on and on!

'The Geordie Times' will post the news az sooon az we find oot!

CARDIFF CITY REDWINGS 4 THE TOON 1---- "DING! DING! BRIAN!---GET OUT THE F*****' WAY!"!

Posted '1:00pm bells' Sunday 12th August 2012

   Shola penalty

Wor last pre season friendly ended in a disastrous 4-1 defeat to Championship side Cardiff 'Redwings' in sooth Wales yesterday in the sunshine

There were anly two of us travellin' doon at the ungody hour of '5am bells' and mee companion for the day waz 'Adam from Palmersville'
The lang drive doon took six hours plus an extra half hour to find somewhere to park, az aall aroond the groond and up to half a mile away, waz for permit holders anly!

We bumped into 'Fawlty Towers' who waz doon to visit relatives in Cumbran fifteen miles away and az we were waalkin' up the road a gadgie came past on a bike and shooted, "Ding! Ding!" for us to get oot of the way! (he didn't have a bell!)

'Fawlty' didn't hear him, so aa said, "Brian!--get oot the way!" (his real name)
The gadgie on the bike then said in a broad Welsh accent, "Ding! Ding! Brian!---get out the F*****' way!",  az he rode past! (we were in stitches!)

We foond 'sanctuary' in the Canton Rugby Club which waz in sight and hocklin' distance of the stadium and we settled doon for much needed 'liquid refreshments', before heedin' for the tornstiles (not much 'hootch' for me az aa waz drivin' back!)

The most suprizin' thing waz the lack of protest from the home fans in the controversial decision to change their home colours from blue to red and quite a few were wearin' the new red shirts!? (mebbez they were protestin' with their feet az there were large gaps in the blue seats!)

A terrible start meant that we were three doon after just 26 minutes after some terrible defendin' by wor back five---(the same back five who will probably start against Spors in wor forst leegue game next Saturday!)

The 2nd half offered some hope when we were awarded a penalty soon after the restart which waz convorted by Shola Ameobi in front of the 1,000 or so Toon fans who had made the lang jorney doon.

However!-- wor 'hopes' were soon dashed az 'The Redwings' got a fourth to seal the win and give US 'red faces'!

We then faced the prospect of the lang drive yem and arrived back on Tyneside @ 'midneet bells'! (670 miles roond trip!)

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Coloccini (Williamson 46), Steven Taylor (Gosling 63), Santon, Tiote (Amalfitano 70), Obertan (Campbell 84), Ryan Taylor (Perch 28), Marveaux (Vuckic 46), Gutierrez, Shola Ameobi

Attendance: 9,682 (1,000 or so, lang sufferin' Toon fans!) 

CARDIFF CITY REDWINGS v THE TOON *********TODAY IN SOOTH WALES!

Posted '4:00am bells' Saturday 11th August 2012

"SPOT THE BLUEBIRD!?"

Wor final pre season forst team friendly takes place in Wales @ '3 bells' later on today and we will be leavin' in the orly hours to get there. (aboot '5 bells'!)

It's sure to be an emotional affair, az the home team, knaan for ower 100 years az 'The Bluebirds', because of their blue strip, will then become 'The Redwings', az their new oriental owners have decided to de away with tradition and change their colours to 'RED', which iz apparently a 'lucky colour' in the far east. 

Can yi imagine wor very aan 'Fat Controller' dein the same thing to us!?---It doesn't bear thinkin' aboot!!!

A compreeehensive match report will follow when we eventually get back!


Posted '6:00pm bells' Thorsday 9th August 2012

Leeds resorves 1 The Toon resorves 1

Yesterday the resorves drew 1-1 against Leeds resorves @ Thorpe Arch near Wetherby in anotha 'behind closed doors' game on Wednesday neet. ("er!"---'the mad-sad groundhoppers' have been here az well, by the way!---for a Junior game!)

The Toon's goalscorer waz Haris Vuckic who had aalso scored in Tuesday neets 'Toon X1' game in Hartlepool 

THE? MAGICAL?? MYSTERY??? TOUR????***IT'S AALL GREEK TO ME!?????

Updated '1:45pm bells' Friday 10th August 2012


"THE  MAGICAL  MYSTERY  TOUR
IZ  WAITING  TO  TAKE  YOOO  AWAY!"
"TO GREECE!"

Friday draw for the fourth qualifyin' roond of the Europa League haz saw us paired with Greek side ATROMITOS of Athens

The Toon were due to play the away leg forst but have requested to play the HOME leg forst---we await the ootcome!
The dates pencilled in are!---Wednesday 22nd or Thorsday 23rd August for the forst leg and Wednesday 29th August or Thorsday 30th August for the 2nd leg 

When 'The Toon' played their last competitive game in Europe against AZ Alkmaar of Holland in March 2007, this waz mee '99th game in a row' for European competitions. (this includes six games in the Anglo Italian Cup in 1992!) 
A'v waited FIVE LANG YEARS! to try and de mee '100th in a row' and now at last a'v got the chance!
So the draw waz a VERY (VERY!) special occasion for me!


'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' will of course be there and we can anly be thankful that a visa isn't required to get into Greece.

It cud have been worse!---az Russia and Izerbiajan nearly came oot of the hat!

MONKEY HANGERS 1 TOON X1 5***FULL TIME SCORE!

Updated '9:15pm bells' Wednesday 7th August 2012



PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING!!!
"DIVVINT GAN ANYWHERE NEAR HARTLEPOOL DOCKS
IF YOU LOOK ANYTHING LIKE PETER REID!!!"

Anothaa Toon X1 away friendly waz added to the list and we played 'The Monkey Hangers of Hartlepool' @ Victoria Park @ '7:30 bells' toneet!

Az this game waz arranged at very short notice, a'd said that aa would be available for work today and had to gan to Liverpool and Stockport. (couldn't wangle oot of it!)
Aa tried to swap it for a 'run' to Glasgow so aa cud get finished orlier, but it wasn't possible---so 'Liverpool/Stockport it waz!

Aa did the same 'run' yesterday and got finished @ '7:00pm bells'.
The same thing happened today, and unfortunateleee, with less than half an hour to get from the Team Valley in Gatesheed to Hartlepool, it waz an impossible task and aa reluctantly missed the game!

However!---wor rovin 'Geordie Times' reporter WAZ THERE and aa can tell yiz that a strong Toon X1 easily won 5-1, with wor goals comin' from Shola Ameobi, 'Marveaux the Magician' (2), Haris Vuckic and Gabriel Obertan just before the end!

Footnote: Anly Steven Taylor waz in the startin' line up from wor previous game in Holland @ Den Haag and this waz (in effect) wor 'shadow squad' who played. 

Attendance: 4,802 (2,503 Toon fans!---more than half the gate!)

A'm gutted aa missed the game, especially az we won 5-1, but aa'll 'just have to live with it!------"FOR THE REST OF MEE LIFE!"

PS: We will DEFINATLEEE be @ Cardiff on Saturday for the 'forst team's' final pre season friendly before the big Premya Leegue kick off against Spors a week later! 

DEN HAAG 0 THE TOON 0

Posted '4:05pm bells' Sunday 5th August 2012

(Ground number 289) Kyocera Stadion, The Hague, Holland

A borin' 0-0 draw in The Hague was the outcome of this non event friendly fixture.
However!--(and on the bright side!) we remain unbeaten in wor last five games on wor 'European Pre Season Tour'!

Wor flight from Toon Airport to Amsterdam waz uneventful (apart from Toon goalie Steve Harper bein'  onboard az well!) and on landin' we heeded straight for the train station to catch the train to The Hague (Den Haag)

The weathaa waz waam and sunny and we enjoyed several 'liquid refreshments' before heedin' for the groond which (or course!) waz miles oot the way next to a motorway on the outskirts of the city. ("Tax-eeeeee!!!")

Den Haag's fans notorious 'Millwaall of Holland' image waz NOT in evidence az we cautiously had the final pre match gargels in their supporters club next to the groond and the natives seemed friendly enough and the 'yellow n green' home tops mingled with the 'black n white' Toon tops!

Suprizingly few Toon fans made the trip to Holland and there were barely 300 diehards in the glass screened panelled away pen behind the goal!

The dark green seats of the Kyocera Stadion reminded me of Plymouth's groond and it waz aboot the same size az Home Park.

The game kicked off and unfortunatlee this iz where the bordom started az both teams couldn't produce the goods!

The anly highlight waz near the end when a a Mike Williamson heeder foond Shola Ameobi who stabbed the baall home anly for it to be ruled offside by the linesman on the far side from us!

Anotha one to forget---a'm afraid!

Toon team: Krul, Ryan Taylor (Perch 71), Colloccini, Steven Taylor (Williamson 64), Santon (Simpson 82), Tiote (Bigirimana 72), Obertan (Shola Ameobi 72), Vuckic (Gosling 64), Cisse, Ba (Amalfitano 82), Gutierrez

Attendance: 8,000? (wild guess!) (anly 300 or so Toon fans)

Aftaa the match it waz back to the city centre for a few more gargels before catchin' the train to a packed Amsterdam, where the drink flowed til the orly hours! 


THE HAGUE'S ANSWER TO
THE LONDON OLYMPIC FLAME!

It waz then onto Schiphol Airport again to catch wor flight yem at 8:10 this mornin', but not before grabbin' some much needed kip on the airport loungers "ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!" 

289 kyocera stadion the hague holland

(Ground number 289)

Date of First Visit: 4^th August 2013

Kyocera Stadion, The Hague, Holland

Den Haag 0

Newcastle United 0

Friendly Fixture

Attendance: 7,120 (300 Toon fans)

"MILLWAALL WHERE ARE YOU!?"

 

A borin’ 0-0 draw in The Hague was the result of this ‘non event’ friendly fixture!

However!---(and on the bright side!) we remain unbeaten in wor last five games on wor ‘European Pre Season Tour’!

Wor flight from Toon Airport to Amsterdam waz uneventful (apart from the fact that Toon goalie Steve Harper waz onboard az well!) and on landin’ we heeded straight for the train station to catch the train to The Hague (Den Haag)

The wethaa waz waam and sunny and we enjoyed several ‘liquid refreshments’ befor heedin’ for the ground, which (or course!), miles oot the way next to a motorway on the ootskirts of the city (“TAX-EEEEEE!”)

Den Haag’s notorious ‘Millwaall of Holland’ hooligan fans were NOT in evidence az we cautiously had the final pre match ‘gargels’ in their supporters club next to the ground and the ‘natives’ seemed friendly enough, az their ‘yellow n green home tops’ mingled with the ‘black n white Toon tops’ without any problems!

Suprizingly few Toon fans had made the relatively short trip to Holland and there were barely 300 diehards in the glass screen panelled away pen behind the goal!

The dark green seats of the Kyocera Stadion reminded me of Plymouth’s ground and it waz aboot the same size az Home Park.

The game kicked off and unfortunateleee this iz where the boredom started az both teams couldn’t produce the goods!

The ‘anly highlight’ waz near the end when a Mike Williamson heeder foond Shola Ameobi  who stabbed the baall home, anly for it to be ruled offside by the linesman on the far side from us!

Anothaa one to forget---a’m afraid!

After the match it waz back to the city centre for a few more ‘gargels’ before catchin’ the train to a packed Amsterdam, where the drink flowed til the orly hours!

We hadn’t booked an owerneet stay coz wor flight waz orly the next mornin’ and so (az yi de!) we stopped ‘on the hoy’ til ‘4 am bells’!<(when most of the bars closed!)

It waz then onward to Schipol Airport again to catch wor flight yem @ ‘8:10 bells’, but not before catchin’ up on some much needed kip on the airport loungers!

“ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz!!!!!!!”

DEN HAAG v THE TOON****TODAY IN HOLLAND!

Updated '5:20am bells' Saturday 4th August 2012

This afternoon @ '5:00 bells' ('4:00 bells' in Geordieland)  'The Toon' take on 'The Millwaall of Holland' in the shape of Den Haag in The Hague

Unfortunatleee there iz ne live telly for this game (az far az we naa!?)

Tickets are on sale from the 'away zone' @ Den Haag (entrance 22-24) priced @ 14 euros

We fly oot from Toon Airport in less than fower hours time to Amsterdam and are stoppin' 'on the hoy' aall day and aall neet, before flyin' back orly on Sunday mornin'! (who needs a hotel when yi can drink aall neet!?)

But be warned!----if yer gannin, divvint invade the pitch az it will cost yoo (deep breath!) a FIFTEEN THOOSAND EURO FINE!!!

Az per usual---match (and 'gargel'!) report to follow much later sometime on Sunday when we get back! ("watch this space!")

THE HEEDBANGERS 1 THE TOON RESORVES 4

Updated '11:00am bells Thorsday 2nd August 2012


Connor Newton (far post) heeds home
against 'The Heed' (in yellow) for The Toon's 3rd goal
("Er!"---sorry aboot the grainy image!)

A strong Toon X1 ran oot 4-1 winners @ Gatesheed Stadium last neet, but it wasn't aall plain sailin' for the 'black n whites' az 'The Heed' put up a good show in front of aroond aboot 1,000  spectators--half of them Toon fans.

The forst goal came in the 6th minute when Mehdi Abeid fired a brilliant effort home from 25 yards to give former Toon keeper Adam Bartlett ne chance az the baall hit the back of the net.

Then!--new boy Romain Amafitano<(hope a'v spelt that reet?) doubled wor lead in the 23rd minute when he poked the baall into the net from inside the Gatesheed box.

'The Heedbangers' then hit back when Micky Cummins hit a great volley past Elliot in 'The Toon' goal just 3 minutes later!
Half time---2-1 to The Toon.

More chances for 'The Heed' nearly levelled the score in the second period, but a corner by Marcus Maddison settled things in the 73rd minute, when his accurate cross foond Connor Newton's heed and he heeded it past 'The Heed' keeper to give us a 3-1 heed ("er!"--sorry!--that shud be 3-1 LEAD!)

Finalleee!---and just one minute later, Maddison lobbed a fantastic effort ower the home sides defence to put 'the black n whites' 4-1 up and that waz the final score, aalthough to be fair to 'The Heedbangers' a fower-one defeat waz a bit harsh on them!

Toon team: Elliot, Richardson, Dummett, Bigiriama, Tavernier, Good<(makin' his debut) (Riley 78), Amalfitano (Nicholson 46), Newton (Knight 78), Hooper (Maddison 46), Abeid (Henderson 83), Inman

Attendance: 1,274 (half 'Toon' and half 'Heed'!)

Chants of the day: "Gatesheed's a sh*t-hole, aa wonna go home!" (from Toon fans)
"Wot are you on aboot?---Half of you live in Gatesheed anyway!" (reply from Heed fans!) 




OLYMPIC GAMES FUTBAALL
***BRAZIL 3 NEW ZEALAND 1

Before this @ '2:30 bells' we took in some Olympic futbaall @ St James', where we saw Brazil beat New Zealand 3-0 in a very one sided game in front of a 'selloot' 24,500 crowd??? (St James'z capacity iz ower 52,000 (work that one oot!???)

Most of the crowd supported the Brazilians, but there were quite a few Geordies wearin' yellow Brazil tops and wavin' their flags (wots that aall aboot!???)

IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHIN' BRAZIL!

Posted '11:30am bells' Wednesday 1st August 2012

"BRAZIL ARE HERE THIS AFTERNOOON!"

This afternooon @ '2:30 bells' iz the forst part of a 'Geordie Times' double heeder of matches, when Brazil take on New Zealand in the Olympic futbaall @ St James' Park and then we're off on a two mile pub crawl across the Tyne Bridge to Gatesheed Stadium for the '7:30 bells' friendly match tooneet between Gatesheed and The Toon resorves!

New boys Romain Amalfitano and Gail Bigirimana will both play, while wor latest signin' Curtis Good iz in the squad

There were anly 3,000 tickets left for the Brazil game on Monday, so it's possible that it's a selloot!  

Admission to Gatesheed iz a tenner for grown up kids and a bit less for sprogs and zimmerframeites!

Match reports on both games to follow much later!