Monday, 30 July 2012

288 estadio algarve faro portugal


(Ground number 288)

Date of First Visit: 27th July 2012

Estadio Algarve, Faro, Portugal

Olympiakos  1 

Newcastle United 1 (Steven Taylor)

Drew 4-4 on penalties!?

Algarve Cup

Attendance: 500 to 4,000 (take your pick!) (400 Toon fans) (7 Olympiakos fans!)

 

“FAR(O)! FAR(O)! AWAY!”


"FOR HE'S A 'BROLLY' GOOD FELLOW!"

A non descript match against the ‘appropriately’ named Olymiakos <(az this waz the same neet az the openin’ ceremony of the Olympic Games in London!)<(thank god we missed that!) ended aall square afta a penalty shoot out in front of barely 1,000 spectators in this 30,000 capacity stadium which waz in the middle of ne where and EIGHT miles from Faro where we were stayin’ and where the ground waz 'supposed' to be! (It waz aalso used for European championships)


15 MINUTES BEFORE KICK OFF!
"IZ THERE ANYBODY THERE!?"

Before the match at the tornstiles, aall bags were searched and the security gadgie on the gate tried to confiscate ‘Sarnie Steve’s Morrisons carrier bag full of sarnies and he waz forced to eat them ootside the ground before they would let him in!

It waz a sun drenched day and The Toon had a followin’ of aroond aboot 400, many of whom were holidaymakers who just happened to be in The Algarve for their summer break!

In complete contrast aa counted a total of SEVEN Olympiakos fans just alang from us!



Like aa say, the game waz non descript with Steven Taylor scorin’ wor anly goal in open play when hiz deflected shot from the edge of the box beat Roy Carrol in the Greeks goal

The anly otha ‘highlight’? of the game came when Modesto waz ‘red carded’ in the 73rd minute for a bad tackle on Amalfitano and they were reduced to ten men!

This seemed to fire them up however and (inevitably!) just five minutes later Olympiakos equalised through Mitroglu who wellied home from 20 yards oot!

A penalty shoot out waz then the order of the day (just when we wanted to gan for a ‘gargel’!) and when Cisse stepped up to take wor forst one, he inexplicably blasted hiz shot ower the bar into the 5,000 empty seats behind that goal!

However! That waz wor anly miss oot of five and with Olympiakos aalso missin’ one, it ended ‘fowers each’ and a stalemate! (the forst time a’v ever seen a draw in a penalty shoot out!?)

My original guess of a crowd of aroond 4,000 waz wildly ridiculed by the rest of the ‘mad-saddos’, who accused me of havin’ too much to drink! (Whey!---we had been drinkin’ aall day!---like!) and their estimate waz under a thoosand!

It waz then a hectic drive back to Faro in a taxi driven by a woman who thought she waz Lewis Hamilton az she took the hairpin bends at 90mph! (The ‘Caped Crusader’ reckons it waz 92.5!) and she went through at least fower traffic lights ‘on red’!---but we did get back to Faro for ‘midneet bells’ in ‘one piece’ for a few ‘liquids’, before heedin’ back to the Hotel Santa Maria for some much needed ‘kip’!  “ZZZZZzzzzz!!!!!”

DAY TWO***Estadio Algarve!---again!
Dateline: 28th July 2012

Sporting Braga  1

Newcastle United  2 (Ba, Ryan Taylor)
 
Attendance: 500 (400 Toon fans) (40 or so Braga fans) (2 Blackborn fans?) (plus a few locals!)

 

“RYAN TAYLOR OWER THE WAALL!”

 

"RYAN TAYLOR GOAL!"


Again it waz back to The Algarve ‘in the middle of newhere stadium’ for the last game of the tournament, where ‘Sarnie Steve’ had made contingency plans and had hiz doorstep sarnie clutched firmly in hiz teeth az we got searched once again az we entered the stadium!< (“gottle of gear” style!)

The security gadgie just looked at him dumbfounded az Steve waalked past, (‘sarnie in gob style’!)

(On the mornin’ of the game aa suggested that he hid hiz sarnies under hiz beanie hat to get in, but! the carrier bag waz too big and he had to abandon this method of smugglin’ hiz scran in!)

Anyway!---Enough of that!---There were aboot the same number of spectators in the stands az the day before and included at least two from Blackborn Rovers!?

AND!---just like the forst game the previous day!) the openin’ 45 minutes waz ‘one to forget’ az well, az the half petered oot in front of the 29,000 empty seats!



It livened up in the 2nd half, however! When ‘Marveaux the Magician’ waz upended in the box, resultin’ in a spot kick in the 63rd minute, which Demba ba took. But he put hiz shot to the right of the keeper who parried the baall oot back to Ba’s feet and he sidefooted it into the back of the Braga net to put us in front!

The ‘inevitable’ equaliser came just 3 minutes later when a shot from Amorim caught Coloccini’s leg and the baall went past the stranded Steve Harper in The Toon goal!

Then! Just az though we were lookin’ likely to endure a penalty shoot out for the 2nd game and day in a row, up stepped wor ‘ower the waall’ specialist Ryan Taylor, to send hiz free kick from 25 yards oot (“er!”) ‘ower the waall’ into the back of the net in the 73rd minute to send the 400 ‘sun kissed saddos’ wild with delight!

Anothaa ‘cup’ waz in the cabinet? (to add to the one we won in Deportivo a while back!) and ‘Captain Coloccini’ held the glitterin’ trophy aloft for aall to see!

It actually looked like a very smaall umbrella, but waz in fact supposed to be ‘modelled’ on a local bridge! and so it waz ‘indeed’ a ‘brolly good’ show<(sic!) from the ‘black n whites’ az we heeded back to Faro centre to celebrate wor famous? victory!

  

  

Thursday, 26 July 2012

ALGARVE UPDATE!

Posted '9:45pm bells' Thorsday 26th July 2012

'The Geordie Times' entourage will be flyin' off to sunny Portugal tomorrow mornin' from 'Toon Airport' for the 'Algarve Tournament', where we will play Olympiakos of Greece on Friday neet and Braga of Portugal on Saturday neet in Faro

Match reports will follow on theeze games when we eventualleeee get back! (nuw where did aa put mee sun tan lotion---like???)

OLYMPIC FUTBAALL @ ST JAMES' PARK

Posted 10:00pm 'bells' Thorsday 26th July 2012
THE MILBURN STAND---OLYMPIC RINGS AND AALL!


The Olympic futbaall tournament @ St James Park iz now upon us, and today @ 2:30 bells the forst game took place between the men of Mexico and Sooth Korea (0-0 full time!)---Then @ 5:30 bells we had the 'mooth waaterin' prospect' of seein' Gabon play Switzerland! (1-1 full time!)
Tickets were (not suprizingleee!) still on sale at between twenty and fifty quid for grown up kids and 'pay your age' for the youngins!

Security to get in waz just like 'Toon Airport' and fans were advised to get there at least AN HOUR? before the match starts, IF! yi wanted to see the kick off! 
SWITZERLAND FANS IN 'THE STRAWBERRY'
AFTA THEIR MATCH WITH GABON!

Az aa waz in Glasgow for most of the day (work! NOT! the Olympic futbaall @ Hampden!) and didn't get back til  fower bells this afternoon---aa gave it 'a miss'---like!---BUT! still made 'The Straa'berry for this 'exclusive'  photo above!

 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' 'jet off' to 'The Algarve' orly tomorrow where The Toon are playin' the appropriately named OLYMPIAKOS of Greece on Friday neet in Faro and Braga on Saturday!

More to follow on aall this much! much! later!

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

LATEST RESULTS FROM THE RESORVES AND JUNIORS***BAIRNS MAKE FINAL!

Updated '10:10pm bells' Wednesday 25th July 2012
TOON UNDER 17s PUT ON 'A SHOW' HERE!

The resorves 'sneaked' another behind closed door friendly 'in', on Monday, when they beat Ashington 5-1 at Darsley Park, Benton.
The Toons goalscoreres were Brad Inman (2), JJ Hooper, Marcus Maddison and Micheal Richardson.

Meeenwhile!--ower in Northern Ireland 'The Toons U17s' put on 'a show' to beat Pachuca of Mexico 6-0 @ The Ballymena Showgrounds, with Adam Campbell gettin' two of wor goals.
Alex Gilliead, Ronaldo Aarons, Greg Olley and Ryan McKinnon aalso got on the scoresheet!

Then!---yesterday!--wor U17s beat CSKA Moscow 3-1 in front of a 300 crowd at Ballymoney, with wor goals comin' from Adam Campbell (2) and Liam Smith and we progressed to 'the semis' of the Milk Cup, where, toneet at the same venue we beat  "Ne Where Near Bolton", Wanderers U17s  2-0 to reach the Milk Cup final! Adam Campbell and Ronaldo Aaarons were again on target and we will meet Desportivo of Brazil!

The match takes place tomorrow neet in Ballymena and yoo can rest assured that 'The Geordie Times' will bring yoo the result az soon az we find oot! (az per usual watch this space!)  

Saturday, 21 July 2012

THE TOON 1 FENERBAHCE 1---'MAD-SAD TELLYHOPPERS' MATCH REPORT!

Posted '10:30pm bells' Saturday 21st July 2012
"MAD-SAD 'TELLYHOPPERS' RULE OK!"


'The Companions Club' on Leazes Park Road waz the location for 'The mad-sad tellyhoppers' this time ('The Porcy' for last game!) and aroond aboot thorty saddos were present az the game kicked off!


The crowd at the game which looked aroond aboot 2,000, waz made up mostly of Torkish immigrants and we couldn't see any Toon fans from wor vantage point near to the telly in the lounge!? (aalthough we knew that at least FOWER NUFC mad-saddos were there!) 


The forst half ended goaless with 'The Toon' havin' the better of the play but we were unable to break doon the Fenerbahce defence.
The second period waz much the same until the deadlock waz broken in the 76th minute by 'super-sub' Mehdi Abeid--and wor number 39 took hiz goal cooly by slottin' the baall home from inside the box and this looked like winnin the game for 'The Toon'---but! reet at 'the death in the 90th minute the Torks equalised through Baroni who's shot from the edge of the box 'shud' have been saved by Elliot in 'The Toon' goal (but wasn't!) and soon after the ref blew for full time!

Attendance: 2,000 estimated (plus at least 4 Toon fans!)
Companions Club attendance: 30 'mad-sad tellyhoppers' (plus the barman caalled Joe who watched the game in between pullin' pints for the thorsy customers!) so!--includin' him it's 31! 

Special mention must gan to the fower mentioned 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers', who have been 'slumin it' in Jawmany/Austria for the last TEN DAYS, to de the three games on the tour!
Namelee! 'The Caped Crusader'---'Sarnie Steve'---'Glennn from Ashington' and 'Biffa the Bear'!
(the one from Whitley Bay--NOT! 'The Beano'!)

Biffa's 'pirate' Toon website www.nufc.com , even gave me an 'inevitable' mention in his match report for wor game against Chemnitzer, so it's anly fair that aa repay him the compliment!?
"WELCOME TO THE DIVES OF WHITLEY BAY!"

Friday, 20 July 2012

JOIN YOUR COMPANIONS IN 'THE COMPANIONS'!*** THE TOON v FENERBAHCE***LIVE!***THIS EVENIN'!

Updated '2:00pm bells' Saturday 21st July 2012

This evenin's friendly game against Fenerbahce of Torkey in Austria iz live on ESPN and 'The Companions Club' on Leazes Park Road, which iz within' eazy 'hocklin' distance' of St James' Park, behind the East Stand. (next road doon from St James' Street)
The club iz openin' especially to show the game @ 'six bells' ('6:30 bells' kick off)

Again!--very late confirmation of this game (when we were actually in Jawmany last week for the Chemnitzer game!) and financial considerations (ie: we contacted wor financial adviser---who telt us that we were skint!)--- Plus the fact that we're savin' up aall wor 'penneeez' in wor 'Geordie Times piggy bank' to gan to 'The Algarve Tournament' next week and Holland the week after!, meeenz that we reluctantlee will not be at the game 'live' (£500 retorn by air, last we hord!) (plus! 'doss hoose dosh' and 'booze budget'!)

But! 'The mad-sad tellyhoppers' will be in 'The Companions' in force! ("Er!"---aboot eight of us!) So why not join us for some 'tonsil ticklin' @ 'six bells' this evenin'?----aall welcome! (includin' Martians!)
"TAKE ME TO 'THE COMPANIONS'!"
"WHEY AYE MAAN!"

PS: The match iz aalso been shown in 'The Three Bulls Knackers'---'The Porcy'---and 'The Union Rooms'! (az far az we naa!---like!)

'Mad-sad tellyhoppers' match report to follow later toneet! 


Monday, 16 July 2012

THE TOON 1 v MONACO 0 (tellyhoppers report!)

Posted '10:40pm bells' Monday 16th July 2012
"TELLYHOPPERS RULE OK!"

It's a lang! lang! time since aa last watched 'The Toon' on the telly (Indonesia  a few years back aa think??) but we had a grandstand view from the bar stoolz of 'The Porcy Arms' in the Haymarket which were handily placed in front of the 'big screenz',  where a Demba Ba heeder sealed Monaco's fate to send 'The Toon' diehards into raptures az they sat on the seats of the bar (one 'Jock' kidda waz 'flat oot' for the whole game!) (whey!---ten minutes actually!!!)

The 'diehards in question' were nameleeee---'Malla Weaze Keys Clayton'---'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' ("yee haaa-!") --'Dava the Raver' and of course 'Fink the mad-sad tellyhopper'! <(haz it reeely come to this!)

Anyway!---at least we won this time (unlike Chemnitzer!) and it waz a lang FIFTEEN MINUTE jorney yem back on the bus after several extra 'liquid refreshments' in 'The Straa'berry' next to 'St James'!
"ONE OF THE 'BIG SCREENZ' IN 'THE PORCY!'
Attendance: 900 (30 mad-sad groundhoppers!)
Percy Arms attendance: 25 tellyhoppers!

THE TOON v MONACO in BAVARIA


Posted '3:55pm bells' Monday 16th July 2012
TSV LANDSBERG

Unfortunatelee and unlike  the game against Chemitzer which we attended, (see match report below) we cannit be at the game toneet in Landsberg, az it waz such short notice to book flights and we didn't naa wetha this game would be behind closed doors anyway, or not played at aall, az waz rumoured last week! 
So we didn't take any chances, az we have done previously (see Sampdoria match report in the archive section!) and flew back  on Saturday after the Chemnitzer game.

However!--there will be at least FOWER 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' at the game!----nameleee!---The Caped Crusader---The Bear---Sarnie Steve and Glennn from Ashington!

The game iz live on ESPN @ '6:00 bells' and we will reluctantly have to watch it at some drinkin' establishment somewhere on Tyneside (divvint naa where yet!)

'Liquid lubrication match report' to follow later! (if we can find one showin' the game!?)

Sunday, 15 July 2012

NUFC SQUAD NUMBERS 2012-2013

Posted 9:45am bells' Sunday 15th July 2012

For a list of the latest and unofficial 'Geordie Times' Toon squad numbers for the comin' season, click onto 'NUFC SQUAD NUMBERS 2012-2013' @ the top o' the page 

Saturday, 14 July 2012

CHEMNITZER 1 (ANTON FINK)< (er! definatleee NOT me!) THE TOON 0

Posted '8:15pm bells' Saturday 14th July 2012

(Ground number 287)

'NOT GUILTY' AZ CHARGED!

In total it took me and 'Big Al' (NOT! the sheet metal workers son!) a total of TWENTY SIX hours to de the roond trip to east Jawmany---via Glasgow-Berlin-Dresden and Chemnitz and we've just arrived back at Saturday teatime after gettin' oot of wor Dresden hotel beds at five this mornin' to catch the train to Berlin and then the flight back to Glasgow! (aall flights to Newcastle were fully booked, az we'd left it so late to book, in case the game didn't take place!)

Because of the uncertainty of just who we could  be playin' later this week, we just booked a 'three day job' for the one match in this former communist country from behind the 'iron curtain'

There will be a full 'Geordie Times mad-sad groundhoppers' match/lack of pubs/rain report later this week, (it f*****' p*st doon most of the time!) but in the meantime here's the full 'horror story' of the match. (in more ways than one for me!)

New signin' Romain Amalfitano made hiz debut for The Toon who sported a slightly different black n  white kit from last season and wor otha debutant Geal Bigirimana came on az a sub at the mid point of the 2nd half 

A healthy lookin' crowd estimated by us az aroond the  six thoosand mark were boosted by aboot 150 Toon fans in the visitors section and another 50 or so in the main stand includin' many of the 'NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers!'

There'd been heavy rain since we'd got there, but it had faired up aboot an hour before kick off.
Things didn't start off well and Chemnitzers centre forward who waz caalled 'Fink' (believe it or not!)---scored in the 12th minute when he rifled in an effort past Elliot in The Toon goal.

'Glennn from Ashinghton' who waz sittin' next to me, said: "Shame on you!" az he shook hiz heed in disgust!---but! I waz "NOT GUILTY  M'LORD" az I was sittin' in row 2 of the main stand, miles from the action! (So divvint blame me---blame mee namesake!)


Anyway!---it waz a very forgettable game (apart from 'yee naa wot!') and despite SIX 2nd half substitutions, includin' new boy Bigirimana, Shola Ameobi and Demba Ba, we couldn't find a way through the thord division Jawman sides defence and we wandered off afta the final whistle, havin' lost to a 'Fink' goal, wonderin' just why we'd bothered!
(Aa waz then bombarded by HATE text messages from irate Toon fans back home, demandin' explanations!) ("HELP!") 
It's not 'Friday the 13th'---iz it????

Toon team: Elliot, Tavernier (Simpson 66), R Taylor (Santon 66), Williamson, Perch, Gosling, Abeid (Bigirimana 66), Amalfitano, Sammy Ameobi (Ba 74), Vuckic (Shola Ameobi 66), Obertan (Gutierrez 74)

Attendance: 6,700 (200 or so Toon fans)

ARCHIVE GROUNDS MATCH REPORT LIST