"IT'S MY TRAIN SET AND I'LL DO WHAT I F*****' LIKE!"
(see below!)
This website iz dedecated to the Newcastle United groundhoppers who follow the fortunes of the team aroond the world (and beyond!) The ground totals include competitive and friendly forst team, resorve team, junior team and Newcastle United X1 games that 'the mad-sad groundhopper' has attended, aall for Newcastle United games only, in the last SEVEN decades*** cheers!***'Fink' (the mad-sad groundhopper!)***last count 379 (380 inc Motspur Park outside)
Friday, 17 February 2012
A 'CHILLING' MESSAGE FROM 'THE FAT CONTROLLER'!
Posted just before 'high noon bells' Friday 17th February 2012
"IT'S MY TRAIN SET AND I'LL DO WHAT I F*****' LIKE!"
(see below!)
"IT'S MY TRAIN SET AND I'LL DO WHAT I F*****' LIKE!"
(see below!)
Thursday, 16 February 2012
ST JAMES' DESECRATION!---16th FEBRUARY 2012
ST JAMES' PARK HAZ JUST BEEN DESECRATED TODAY!!!
THERE'S NOTHIN' MORE TO SAY REALLY!!!---IZ THERE???
THERE'S NOTHIN' MORE TO SAY REALLY!!!---IZ THERE???
MORE BAD NEWS FOR NUFC GROUNDHOPPERS!--------WACKO JACKO LOCKOOT!
Posted '4:10pm bells' Thorsday 16th February 2012
Wor forthcomin' resorve game against Fulham resorves @ Motspur Park, London, which waz due to be open to the public iz now bein' played behind closed doors on April 3rd @ the same venue!
We had intended to de 'this one', az it iz a 'proper groond' with stands and terracin' and we will now have to put 'the feelers oot' to try and get in past security!
The away game against Liverpool resorve will definateleee have to be 'put on ice', az the day before it's due to be played, we face 'The Arse' in London for a Monday neet forst team fixture and wor 'forced' owerneet stay there, puts 'the scuppers' on us gettin' to Morseyside on time for the '2 bells' start. (this is aalso behind closed doors!)
We 'can but try' to get in NEXT season alang with Everton's trainin' groond, which we didn't make orlier this week! (aalso another lockoot---would yoo believe!)
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| "WE COULD AALWAYS CLIMB THE FENCE!" |
We had intended to de 'this one', az it iz a 'proper groond' with stands and terracin' and we will now have to put 'the feelers oot' to try and get in past security!
The away game against Liverpool resorve will definateleee have to be 'put on ice', az the day before it's due to be played, we face 'The Arse' in London for a Monday neet forst team fixture and wor 'forced' owerneet stay there, puts 'the scuppers' on us gettin' to Morseyside on time for the '2 bells' start. (this is aalso behind closed doors!)
We 'can but try' to get in NEXT season alang with Everton's trainin' groond, which we didn't make orlier this week! (aalso another lockoot---would yoo believe!)
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
HIGH NOON DERBY SHOOTOUT!---A COMPLETE SELLOOT TO CLUB MEMBERS!
Posted 'high noon bells' Wednesday 15th February 2012
It haz been revealed that for the forst time ever, a game haz been sold oot to club members only, with no tickets available on general sale to the public for the forthcomin' derby match @ St James' Park.
46,000 Toon fans have club memberships (which includes season ticket holders) and they have snapped up every available ticket for wor high noon shootout against the SMB's at the beginin' of next month. (Members could buy two tickets each for the game)
Wor game against 'The Liverbirds' on April Fools Day iz aalso expected to be a 'members only' selloot with the retorn of 'Andy Pandy' and 'Bell-end the Poison Dwarf' much antisipated!
It haz been revealed that for the forst time ever, a game haz been sold oot to club members only, with no tickets available on general sale to the public for the forthcomin' derby match @ St James' Park.
46,000 Toon fans have club memberships (which includes season ticket holders) and they have snapped up every available ticket for wor high noon shootout against the SMB's at the beginin' of next month. (Members could buy two tickets each for the game)
Wor game against 'The Liverbirds' on April Fools Day iz aalso expected to be a 'members only' selloot with the retorn of 'Andy Pandy' and 'Bell-end the Poison Dwarf' much antisipated!
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
THE TOFFEE NOSES RESORVES 6 THE TOON RESORVES 3 !
Updated '8:15pm bells Tuesday 14th February 2012
Secret Squirrel informs us that The Toons second string lost 6-3 behind closed door @ Evertons trainin' groond this afternoon.
It was 3-3 at one stage but the home side hit three more before the end to knock us for six for a second successive away game (Man U resorves beat us 6-0 last month!)
The Toons goals were scored by Dan Taylor, Phil Airey and Ryan McGorrigan (just az well we wernt there--like!) (will try and get in next season though!)
Secret Squirrel informs us that The Toons second string lost 6-3 behind closed door @ Evertons trainin' groond this afternoon.
It was 3-3 at one stage but the home side hit three more before the end to knock us for six for a second successive away game (Man U resorves beat us 6-0 last month!)
The Toons goals were scored by Dan Taylor, Phil Airey and Ryan McGorrigan (just az well we wernt there--like!) (will try and get in next season though!)
SECRET SQUIRREL IZ ALIVE AND KICKIN'!
Posted '5:45am bells' Tuesday 14th February 2012
Today @ 1:00 bells this afternoon 'The Toons' second string take on 'The Toffee Noses' of Everton @ their Finch Farm trainin complex @ Halewood near Liverpool behind 'closed doors'.
Because this fixture could have been caalled off at the last minute because of a frozen pitch and because it iz very difficult to get past security for this game (apparently they divvint even let in close family to watch their kids/bruuvas/etc!) aa decided not to risk it and I am at work instead!
Az it's torned oot aa probably could have got in through a secret contact, but this wasn't certain, so 'work it iz'!
When the game kicks off aa'll be at a bakery not a stones throw from West Brom's groond collectin' a lorry load of bread to bring back to Gatesheed!
Just why clubs like Everton are so secretive and paranoid aboot barrin' fans and not even lettin' in family members coz they are terrified of a bigger club 'pinchin' one of their resorve players, iz beyond me!
Footbaall gets dafter and dafter az the years gan by!
Will just have to try and get in next time we play them!
However!---'The Geordie Times' DOES have a secret reporter at the gane (see photo above!)
Result to follow (when aa get back from West Brom later tooneet!)
Because this fixture could have been caalled off at the last minute because of a frozen pitch and because it iz very difficult to get past security for this game (apparently they divvint even let in close family to watch their kids/bruuvas/etc!) aa decided not to risk it and I am at work instead!
Az it's torned oot aa probably could have got in through a secret contact, but this wasn't certain, so 'work it iz'!
When the game kicks off aa'll be at a bakery not a stones throw from West Brom's groond collectin' a lorry load of bread to bring back to Gatesheed!
Just why clubs like Everton are so secretive and paranoid aboot barrin' fans and not even lettin' in family members coz they are terrified of a bigger club 'pinchin' one of their resorve players, iz beyond me!
Footbaall gets dafter and dafter az the years gan by!
Will just have to try and get in next time we play them!
However!---'The Geordie Times' DOES have a secret reporter at the gane (see photo above!)
Result to follow (when aa get back from West Brom later tooneet!)
Sunday, 12 February 2012
THE COCK A DOODLE DOOS 5 THE TOON 0
Posted '7:20 pm bells' Sunday 12th February 2012
BLACK & WHITE CATASTROPHE!
The day had started off aall reet az the train crossed 'The King Edward Bridge', with the 'customary' 'openin of the cans' halfway ower The Tyne to bring us 'good fortune'?----And three hours later we arrived @ 'Kings Cross' in good time for openin' time @ 'McGlynns' bar, not too far from the station and there to 'greet us' at the front door of the bar waz a black 'n' white cat which 'meeowed' az we waalked into the bar!----Another good omen or wot???
After a few 'liquid refreshments' it was time to say goodbye to wor 'lucky' black 'n' white moggy and heed for 'Seven Sisters' in Tottenham and onto 'The Irish Club' just up the road from the train station
There are not many waaterin holes left in this part of 'Landan', mainly due to the fact that many are boarded up or were bornt doon in the riots last summer!
This meant that 'The Irish' was busier than ever and before lang the queues for the bar were thorty yards lang! (ne exaggeration!)
Anyway!--- it was soon time to heed for the tornstiles and the 2,000 or so Toon fans were in 'singin mode' az the game kicked off!
To cut a very lang story short a CATastophic performance @ White Hart Lane foond us 4-0 doon after just half an hour after some horrendous defendin' by 'the aall blacks' defence! (we played in aall black again, just like wor last disasterous visit to 'the smoke' at Fulham last month!) (a 5-2 defeat!)
Goals from Ekotto, Saha (2) and Kranjcar sent us reeeelin' and a cricket score looked on the cards at one stage in 'norf Landan'!
When Spors hit their FOURTH goal aa wished that the nightmare would end and that the ref would blow for full time and that we could aall gan yem!
We somehow managed to get to the break withoot anymore goals against us and 'Happy Harrys Hotspurs' added a fifth midway through the second period when Abebayor struck at the far end from us!
This (thankfully!) was the last of the scorin' and aa was GLAD to get away with 'just'? a 5-0 defeat in 'norf Landan'!
The 'McGlynns' black 'n' white cat proved to be anything BUT! a lucky mascot for us and when aa see that 'scroggy moggy' again on wor next visit doon here, AA'LL F*****' STRANGLE IT!--ne problem!
Another one to forget on another 'capital CATastrophe', ("it waz aall the cats fault!") which meens we have conceded a grand total of TEN GOALS on wor last two visits to 'the smoke'!
Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Santon, Obertan (Ferguson 46), Guthrie (Lovenkrands 86), Perch, Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Gosling 68)
Attendance: 36,176 (2,000 cataclysmically shell shocked Toon fans!)
BLACK & WHITE CATASTROPHE!
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| ^ WANTED! ^---^DEAD OR ALIVE! ^ |
The day had started off aall reet az the train crossed 'The King Edward Bridge', with the 'customary' 'openin of the cans' halfway ower The Tyne to bring us 'good fortune'?----And three hours later we arrived @ 'Kings Cross' in good time for openin' time @ 'McGlynns' bar, not too far from the station and there to 'greet us' at the front door of the bar waz a black 'n' white cat which 'meeowed' az we waalked into the bar!----Another good omen or wot???
After a few 'liquid refreshments' it was time to say goodbye to wor 'lucky' black 'n' white moggy and heed for 'Seven Sisters' in Tottenham and onto 'The Irish Club' just up the road from the train station
There are not many waaterin holes left in this part of 'Landan', mainly due to the fact that many are boarded up or were bornt doon in the riots last summer!
This meant that 'The Irish' was busier than ever and before lang the queues for the bar were thorty yards lang! (ne exaggeration!)
Anyway!--- it was soon time to heed for the tornstiles and the 2,000 or so Toon fans were in 'singin mode' az the game kicked off!
To cut a very lang story short a CATastophic performance @ White Hart Lane foond us 4-0 doon after just half an hour after some horrendous defendin' by 'the aall blacks' defence! (we played in aall black again, just like wor last disasterous visit to 'the smoke' at Fulham last month!) (a 5-2 defeat!)
Goals from Ekotto, Saha (2) and Kranjcar sent us reeeelin' and a cricket score looked on the cards at one stage in 'norf Landan'!
When Spors hit their FOURTH goal aa wished that the nightmare would end and that the ref would blow for full time and that we could aall gan yem!
We somehow managed to get to the break withoot anymore goals against us and 'Happy Harrys Hotspurs' added a fifth midway through the second period when Abebayor struck at the far end from us!
This (thankfully!) was the last of the scorin' and aa was GLAD to get away with 'just'? a 5-0 defeat in 'norf Landan'!
The 'McGlynns' black 'n' white cat proved to be anything BUT! a lucky mascot for us and when aa see that 'scroggy moggy' again on wor next visit doon here, AA'LL F*****' STRANGLE IT!--ne problem!
Another one to forget on another 'capital CATastrophe', ("it waz aall the cats fault!") which meens we have conceded a grand total of TEN GOALS on wor last two visits to 'the smoke'!
Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Williamson, Coloccini, Santon, Obertan (Ferguson 46), Guthrie (Lovenkrands 86), Perch, Gutierrez, Ba, Cisse (Gosling 68)
Attendance: 36,176 (2,000 cataclysmically shell shocked Toon fans!)
Friday, 10 February 2012
HAPPY HARRY'S HOTSPURS v THE TOON---TOMORROW!
Updated '6:50am bells' Saturday 11th February 2012
This afternoon @ 5:30 bells' we take on Spors @ White Hart Lane in 'norf Landan'.
Speculation that this could be Happy Harry's last game in charge of 'The Cock a Doodle Doos' before he moves on to pastures new @ Wembley is rife!
Yohan Cabaye iz still suspended and CheickTiote iz still in Africa where he will play in that continents cup final on Sunday and we aall 'wish him well' in hiz quest for a winners medal!
We are on the '8 bells' train this mornin' to Kings Cross, where plenty of liquid lubrication will be consumed on the downward jorney!
However! ---I have to tell yooo that 'The British Transport Dibbles' have put a 'spanner in the works' and declared that aall trains back to 'The Toon' toneet after the match will be 'DRY', with ne alcoholic beverages allowed.
Luckileee for us, we are not comin' yem til Sunday mornin' and we can tell yoo that these trains are definateleee 'NOT DRY'
A full match (and "Landan" pub crawl) report therefore will not be on line til at least Sunday neet!
Remember wor motto: "The Geordie Times will bring yoo the latest news 'late' and second hand, forst!"
In otha news---Dunston's FA Vase 5th roond tie against Bethnal Green today haz been caalled off because of a dodgy pitch and this game will now be played on Saturday week, when The Toon have a blank weekend!----So guess where we'll be that day??? (on that day in the mornin' wor Juniors will be playin' the SMB Juniors @ The Academy of SSsshhh! "yee naa wot?" @ '11 bells', which meens a 'double header' iz on the cards that day, az 'The Geordie Times' haz neva been to that groond before!)
Whitley Bay, meanwhile, are waitin' with baited breath to see if their FA Vase tie against West Auckland can gan aheed today?
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| 'HAPPY HARRY'---SEEN HERE IN ONE OF HIS MORE JOVIAL MOODS! |
This afternoon @ 5:30 bells' we take on Spors @ White Hart Lane in 'norf Landan'.
Speculation that this could be Happy Harry's last game in charge of 'The Cock a Doodle Doos' before he moves on to pastures new @ Wembley is rife!
Yohan Cabaye iz still suspended and CheickTiote iz still in Africa where he will play in that continents cup final on Sunday and we aall 'wish him well' in hiz quest for a winners medal!
We are on the '8 bells' train this mornin' to Kings Cross, where plenty of liquid lubrication will be consumed on the downward jorney!
However! ---I have to tell yooo that 'The British Transport Dibbles' have put a 'spanner in the works' and declared that aall trains back to 'The Toon' toneet after the match will be 'DRY', with ne alcoholic beverages allowed.
Luckileee for us, we are not comin' yem til Sunday mornin' and we can tell yoo that these trains are definateleee 'NOT DRY'
A full match (and "Landan" pub crawl) report therefore will not be on line til at least Sunday neet!
Remember wor motto: "The Geordie Times will bring yoo the latest news 'late' and second hand, forst!"
In otha news---Dunston's FA Vase 5th roond tie against Bethnal Green today haz been caalled off because of a dodgy pitch and this game will now be played on Saturday week, when The Toon have a blank weekend!----So guess where we'll be that day??? (on that day in the mornin' wor Juniors will be playin' the SMB Juniors @ The Academy of SSsshhh! "yee naa wot?" @ '11 bells', which meens a 'double header' iz on the cards that day, az 'The Geordie Times' haz neva been to that groond before!)
Whitley Bay, meanwhile, are waitin' with baited breath to see if their FA Vase tie against West Auckland can gan aheed today?
Thursday, 9 February 2012
THE TOON U18's 2 QPR U18's 1---FA YOUTH CUP---RESULT!
Updated '11:15pm bells' Thorsday 9th February 2012
@ '7 bells' tooneet 'The Toons' youngins took on The 'Steptoe' Rag and Bone youngins from Shepherds Bush in the 5th roond of the FA Yooth Cup @ St James' Park.
The Toon won 2-1 after extra time in freezin' fog which enveloped the groond.
The visitors took the lead in the 25th minute when Ben Brown struck a shot at The Gallowgate End against the run of play.
It took until 7 mins before full time to bring the scores level when an Adam Campbell penalty was convorted to send the game into extra time (just wot we DIDN'T want in the freezin' conditions!)
The winner came in the 98th minute when JJ Hooper heeded home at The Leazes End to book us a place in the qwaata finals against Blackborn @ St James' Park
Attendance: 1,118 freeezin' cold punters!
@ '7 bells' tooneet 'The Toons' youngins took on The 'Steptoe' Rag and Bone youngins from Shepherds Bush in the 5th roond of the FA Yooth Cup @ St James' Park.
The Toon won 2-1 after extra time in freezin' fog which enveloped the groond.
The visitors took the lead in the 25th minute when Ben Brown struck a shot at The Gallowgate End against the run of play.
It took until 7 mins before full time to bring the scores level when an Adam Campbell penalty was convorted to send the game into extra time (just wot we DIDN'T want in the freezin' conditions!)
The winner came in the 98th minute when JJ Hooper heeded home at The Leazes End to book us a place in the qwaata finals against Blackborn @ St James' Park
Attendance: 1,118 freeezin' cold punters!
STOP PRESS!---STOP PRESS!---'I BEG YOUR PARDEW' RULES HIMSEL OOT FOR THE ENGLAND MANAGERS JOB
Posted '10:00am bells' Thorsday 9th February 2012
The Geordie Times haz just lorned through one of wor many 'exclusive' sources (The BBC NEWS CHANNEL!) that Toon manager 'I Beg Your PARDEW' haz ruled himsel oot of the runnin' for the England managers job! and iz quoted az sayin:
"It's not for me!---Not even in the frame as far as I'm concerned!---I want to make that very clear!---I'm in a really good project at Newcastle United!"
This iz great news for Toon fans az he iz dein' a great job for us and it leaves the way open for 'Appy 'Arry, who waz foond not guilty of fraud, to take ower the reigns @ Wembley!
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| 'I Beg Your PARDEW'---NOT! gannin anywhere! |
The Geordie Times haz just lorned through one of wor many 'exclusive' sources (The BBC NEWS CHANNEL!) that Toon manager 'I Beg Your PARDEW' haz ruled himsel oot of the runnin' for the England managers job! and iz quoted az sayin:
"It's not for me!---Not even in the frame as far as I'm concerned!---I want to make that very clear!---I'm in a really good project at Newcastle United!"
This iz great news for Toon fans az he iz dein' a great job for us and it leaves the way open for 'Appy 'Arry, who waz foond not guilty of fraud, to take ower the reigns @ Wembley!
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