THE TOON RESORVES v BEDLINGTON TERRIERS---TONEET @ '7:30 bells'

Posted '2:50 pm bells' Tuesday 31st January 2012


"WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!?"


Toneet @ Blue Flames, Benton (aka Whitley Park) the resorves take on the Terriers of Bedlington in the semis of The Northumberland Senior Cup. 

In the resorves last game we were hammered 6-0 by Man U's second string @ Altrincham last week, so lets hope we can boonce back toneet and claim a place in the final, which will be played @ St James' Park.
Season ticket holders have to pay for this one and a low crowd iz expected. (wor guess iz a sub 400 attendance!)

Match report to follow eetha later toneet or in the mornin'!?

"10,000 THANK YOOZ TO AALL WOR OWERSEAS REEEDERS !"

Posted '7:30 pm bells' Monday 30th January 2012

"TO THE SEVEN CONTINENTS ON THE PLANET
10,000 THANK YOOOOZ FROM 'THE GEORDIE TIMES'!"

Yet another 'Geordie Times' 'landmark'? haz been passed, az today @ '7:30 pm bells' preciseleee we have just received wor TEN
THOOOSANDTH pageview from owerseas! (and beyond!)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Below we include the countries and territories that have made this possible---aall 112 of them in the order that they visited us!---A special thank yoo to yoo aall! 

001 United States of America
002 Canada
003 Japan
004 Bulgaria
005 Columbia
006 Brazil
007 Republic of Ireland
008 Denmark
009 Hong Kong
010 France
011 Jawmany (Germany)
012 Russia
013 Burundi
014 Kenya
015 Lithuania
016 China
017 Iraq
018 Egypt
019 India
020 Romania
021 Malta
022 Slovenia
023 Holland
024 New Zealand
025 Australia
026 Spain
027 Greece
028 Belgium
029 Ukraine
030 Luxembourg
031 Sooth Korea
032 Poland
033 Italy
034 Serbia
035 Malaysia
036 Macedonia (FYROM)
037 Hungary
038 Mexico
039 Switzerland
040 Torkey
041 Croatia
042 Norway
043 Equador
044 Czech Republic
045 Portugal
046 Austria
047 Latvia
048 Kyrgystan
049 Azerbaijan
050 Estonia
051 Israel
052 Argentina
053 United Arab Emirates
054 Chile
055 Sweden
056 Finland
057 Tunisia
058 Saudi Arabia
059 Sooth Africa
060 Peru
061 Indonesia
062 Thailand
063 Iran
064 Iceland
065 Pakistan
066 Slovakia
067 Singapore
068 Albania
069 Uruguay
070 Vietnam
071 Bosnia and Herzegovina
072 Nigeria
073 Georgia
074 Philippines
075 Lebanon
076 Isle of Man
077 Belarus
078 Moldova
079 Yemen
080 Taiwan
081 Aruba
082 Venezuala
083 Guatemala
084 Ghana
085 Mauritius
086 Cyprus
087 Zambia
088 Brunei
089 Kuwait
090 Liberia
091 Gibralter
092 Morocco
093 Sierra Leone
094 Jersey
095 Bahrain
096 Trinidad and Tobago
097 Tanzania
098 Algeria
099 Gambia
100 Bhutan
101 Jamaica
102 Maldives
103 Malawi
104 Monaco
105 Guernsey
106 Bahamas
107 Costa Rica
108 Jordan
109 Vanuatu
110 Oman
111 Syria
112 Cayman Islands

Plus Mars!>>>>>>>>


Once again!--TEN THOOOSAND thank yoooz for your support!

A 'LOVE'/'HATE' AFFAIR!---57 YEARS AND COONTIN'!

Posted '2:30 pm bells' Monday 30th January 2012

"THE CUP THAT DOESN'T CHEER!"

Now that we've recovered from wor 725 mile plus roond trip to Sussex we must wonder just wot it's like inside the new Wembley Stadium az we havvent been there now since 2000 when we lost to Chelski in an FA Cup semi final.

It's not even the end of January and yet again we face the prospect of yet another trophyless season, with the anly thing to look forward te,  a crack at the thord rate Europa League and visits to places like Latvia, Estonia and Sloveeenia on Thorsday neets! (shud we qualify?)

It iz now 57 years since we last won a major domestic trophy (the FA Cup in 1955!) and wor now seemingly 'hate affair' with the trophy we once 'loved' and won three times in 'the fifties', just gans on and on and ON!

After yet another defeat in the competition to yet another lower league side!, we must regroup once more for the 'mooth waaterin' prospect of yet another visit to darkest Blackborn on Wednesday neet (wor 2nd visit this season---we lost there in the LEAGUE CUP!)

But hang on a minute!!!----Aa nearly forgot!!!-----The resorves play Bedlington Terriers in the Northumberland Senior Cup @ Benton tomorrow neet in a semi final tie! so some silverware cud be headin' wor way after aall! (so it's not aall doom and gloom after aall!------iz it??????)

'THE MIDDLE OF NE WHERE' ALBION 1 ------------THE TOON 0 !

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 29th January 2012

Forst of aall, apologeeez for the late postin of this match report az we didn't get back til qwaata to four this mornin'!


A Mike Williamson own goal settled this 'Farce in Falmer' late yesterday afternoon to knock 'The Toon' oot of the FA Cup in wot waz yet another shockin' FA Cup exit for 'the aall blacks' (we wore wor change strip!)

The drive doon took us six and a half hours and we parked up at Lewes train station which iz the nearest 'boozer friendly' place to the groond---which of course iz built in the middle of ne where, next to a village caalled Falmer (which we thought was 'pub-less'!)

After a few 'liquid refreshments' in the three drinkin dens up the hill from the station, we heeded to the train station to catch 'the cattle truck' to Falmer which iz fower miles distant.
There waz aboot a 50-50 mix of both Brighton and Toon fans az the train set off on wot we were telt was a seven minute jorney to the groond. ("Er!"---TEN minutes actually!)

On close up inspection aa was very impressed with 'The Seagulls' new 'nest' az it wasn't the 'tinny shed' aa expected for a club of their stature.
The rather nice brickwork ootside the stadium looked az though it had cost 'a few bob' to build.

"NICE BRICKWORK!---PITY ABOOT THE LOCATION!"

Once inside, wide padded seats greeted us and it reminded me of The Emirates seats at 'The Arse', the anly difference bein' that these were blue instead of red. (much more to follow on the stadium later!).

Anyway!--- the teams ran oot to a packed crowd and aa couldn't see an empty seat anywhere, so the "empty seats" 'chant' couldn't be used today by the Toon faithful!

It was a dour forst half and we just couldn' t get wor act together with 'Captain Shola' leadin' the line up from with Leon Best just behind.
Brighton were even worse and a can't recaall one shot on target from them in the forst period which not suprizingly ended goal-less!

The second half wasn't much better with wor 'toothless' strikeforce unable to break doon the home sides defence az we kicked towards wor fans in The Sooth Stand.
The anly goal came in the 75th minute when Danny Simpson pulled oot of a tackle to let Will Buckley race through to the box and hiz shot deflected off the unfortunate Mike Williamson and into the net to knock us oot of the cup at an orly stage yet again!
Oh! how we need the two 'Dembas' to fill wor strikers roles (Ba and Cisse)

We didn't get yem til qwaata to four this mornin', like aa say!---(a 725 mile roond trip!) but that's another story for the 'disaster days' groundhoppin' list! (now 283 groonds---and coontin'!)

Toon team: Krul, Simpson, Santon (Ferguson83), Cabaye, Williamson, Perch, Guthrie (Gosling 83), Ben Arfa (Ryan Taylor 83), Shola Ameobi, Gutierrez, Best
Attendance: 21,558 (2,500 disillooosioned Toon fans!)

PS: some of the lads did manage to 'sniff oot' ONE 'drinkin den' not too far from the groond---so it's actually a 'one boozer groond'!


The FA Cup draw iz on at '3:30 bells' this afternoon---but who f*****' cares now!?

PPS: Wots the bettin' that the headline in 'The Ronny Gill' on Monday iz!: (for the thoosandth time!)
------"WE LET THE FANS DOWN!---WE'RE SORRY!"

"FULL 'mad-sad groundhoppers' 'FA Cup disaster!' report to follow later on in the week!"

BRIGHTON, HOVE (& FALMER!) ALBION v THE TOON

Posted '6:00 am bells' Saturday 28th January 2012

VIEW FROM THE AWAY END

Today we travel to the seaside (not!) for wor much antisipated visit to The Amex Stadium in Falmer which iz ne where near Brighton (or Hove!) and miles from the sea!
The groond apparently iz in the middle of ne where and iz 'pub-less' so we believe!? (we'll soon find oot!)
The plan iz to drive to Lewes and park the 'jam jar' next to the station and catch the train to Falmer which iz seven miles away. (there's ne parkin' at the groond unless yoo have a permit!) (and of course---we divvint!)

A capacity crowd of ower 20,000 iz anntisipated for this FA Cup tie @ '5:15 bells' and The Toon will have 2,500 in The South Stand (cud have been more of course but we ('disgracefully') 'knocked them back' for an extra 800 tickets that they offered us?)

We're settin' off in half an hours time for the 350 mile drive and of course a compeeehensive match and groundhoppers report will follow much later on Sunday---when we eventually get back!

NEW GROOND FOR NEW 'NUFC GROUNDHOPPERS'---LAST NEET!

Updated '9:00 pm bells' Friday 27th January 2012

The Toon resorves played Man U resorves @ Moss Lane, Altrincham last neet @ '7 bells' in the Premya Resorve Leegue North and I have to tell yoo that we lost 6-0 in this Altrincham Annihilation ! (not much more to say!---iz there?)

'The mad-sad groundhoppers' wernt there (thank god!) az we have done this groond some time ago, so we didn't need to gan back! (we're just 'part-time resorve hoppers'!)

We of course sent wor faithful 'Stop the Carrier Pigeon' reporter to this game (at great expense!-----two packets of 'Trill' bord seed!) and he got back this mornin' with the bad news

  

Remember wor motto:
"We'll bring yoo the news, second hand, forst!"

"COME IN NUMBER 18!"---"COME IN NUMBER 9!"

Posted '9:30 am bells' Thorsday 26th January 2012

"FROM AFRICA TO EWOOD!?"

"Sensational news from Africa!"----Senegal, one of the favorites to win the African Nations Cup were knocked oot of the competition by minnows Equitorial Guinea, when they lost 2-1 last neet,
which meens that number 18 Demba Cisse and number 9 Demba Ba on the above Senegal team photo, will be flyin' back to Tyneside MUCH ORLIER than expected and could even be selected to play against Blackborn away next Wednesday neet @ Ewood Park!?

We certainleee need them after 'The Catastrophe @ The Cottage' last Saturday! (see below!)

LOYAL TOON FANS LET DOON YET AGAIN!!!

Updated:'high noon bells' Wednesday 25th January 2012

"CAN WE HAVE SOME MORE OF THEEEZE?---PLEEEEEZE!"

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' that NUFC DIDN'T take wor full allocation of tickets offered for Saturdays forthcomin' FA Cup tie away to Brighton, which sold oot within two days of gannin on sale last Thorsday.

This follows on from the decision to take wor minimum allocations of less than 2,000 for Man U, Man C and Norwich! (because we can't be bothered with the hassle of sellin' them, as the home club keeps aall the 'bit'!)

The followin' statement comes from the official website of Brighton. www.seagulls.co.uk
"Newcastle have not accepted their full allocation for Saturdays fourth round FA Cup tie, so the club is pleased to announce that an extra 5 per cent of tickets will be available to Albion supporters for this game". 

We've taken an allocation of 2,500 and were offered 800 more, BUT WE TORNED THEM DOON!!!!????
We've said it aall before!----it's a total disgrace! and many fans have been been let doon and left disappointed YET AGAIN!----

We had 4,000 fans @ Fulham last Saturday divvint forget! (Fulham sell the whole of The Putney End to away fans with ne extra charge for non sales, so we could buy as many as we wanted!)

"GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!--NUFC!!!"---

THE GEORDIE TIMES pageviews in the last month---include:

England---Scotland---USA---Venezuela---Russia---Canada---Austria---Australia---Ukraine---Wales---Holland---Northern Ireland---Republic of Ireland---Greece---Singapore---France---Norway and the Cayman Islands---

"HELLO TO YOO AALL!" 

AMEX STADIUM------NEW LEAGUE GROOND!------100 HOURS TO GAN!!! (AND COONTIN'!)

Posted: '1:15 pm bells' Tuesday 24rd January 2012

"BEWARE!---WOR LASS'S ROLLIN' PIN!" 

Now the dust haz settled and we've dusted worselz doon afta wor second half  'horror show' @ Craven Cottage, it's time to 'move on' and regroup for 'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' next forst team match @ Brighton in the FA Cup 4th roond on Saturday tea/beer! time which of course iz at a "NEW GROOND!"

The six month old American Express (Amex) Stadium in Falmer iz ne where near Brighton of course and if you gan by train, you, (apparently!) have to queue for at least an hour afta the match to get back to Brighton!

Because of yet another crazy kick off time of '5:15 bells' to satisfy the 'couch potatos' and 'pub plonkies', we cannit get back to 'The Toon' by rail az we would miss the last train from Kings Cross (London) back yem---SO!----we're reluctantlee travellin' doon in 'Norman the Cowboy Plumbers' 'Merc' and are plannin' to leave @ '7 bells' on Saturday mornin'! 

("Er!"---It's the Chinese new year parade on Sunday and wor lass haz booked a table at a restaurant in China Toon (next to St James') and I'm unda strict instructions to get back in time and NOT stay owerneet in 'The Smoke'!) (she's threatened me with hor rollin pin if a divvint make it!)

'The Cowboy Plumber' iz drivin' doon and the 'NOT so little old ME', who drew 'the short straw', iz drivin' back, which meens the latter cannit have much to drink! ("BOO! HOOO!")---
BUT! sacrafices HAVE to be made some times in the pursuit of 'tickin' a rare new league groond off the list! (and keepin' wor lass happy!)

NOT! an artists impression
of me and wor lass!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)