THE TOON 3. PSV 0 *** CHAMPIONS LEEGUE GROUPB STAGE GAME 7

 Posted '1:21pm bells' Thorzday 22nd January 2026

"WRITE ⬆️ THE NEXT HEADLINE!" ⬇️

If ever a team deserves the nickname Jekyll and Hyde, then surely it’s NUFC!

While most of wor away performances have been abysmal, wor home home iz exactly the opposite!

4 goalless draws away from home and just 10 goals scored in the Prem Leegue so far this season, yet in wor last 4 home games alone, we have scored the same number of goals!

It woz a miserable rainy winters day on Tyneside, but the game against the current Dutch champions and runaway leaders woz anything but!

The goal sequences were az follows! 

8th minute: We started off well az we attacked the Leazes goal in the forst half --and unusually we played in wor normal black n white striped shirts, but with white shorts and white sock, instead of black and black?

Anyway!---A Bruno pass to Joelinton from a PSV defensive erraa finds an unmarked Yoane Wissa --and he darts doon the field to lift the baall ower the PSV keeper Perisic, to score hiz forst ever goal in The Champions Leegue! 1-0 to us! (To say that Perisic looked az 'sic az a pig, would be the understatement of the year!) (sic!) (There woz a quick VAR check for offside, but the goal stood!)

30th minute: A terrible misstayk by a PSV defender lets in Wissa, who win the baall on the edge of the box and passes to Anthony Gordon!---With the goal gapping coz ther keeper woz oot of position, Gordon hitz a shot into the empty net!---A goal which your great granny could have scored!---Or even ME!— 2-0 to us! (Gordon's goal meenz that he haz now matched Alan Shearer's 6 goals he scored in the Champions Leegue in the same season!)

Club captain Bruno sustains an ankle injury in the 3rd minute of forst half stoppage time and gives the captains armband to Kiaran Trippier, az he hobbles off the pitch, to be replaced by Lewis Miley!

2nd HALF

65th minute: Harvey Barnes capitalises on another PSV missstayk (a weak heeder from PSV captain Schouten) and he races into the Gallowgate End box to fire past Perisic in their goal to seal the victory and 3 precious points!

In a nice touch, Trippier iz replaced by Joe Willock and gives the captains armband to 19 year old Lewis Miley, to become the youngest Champions Leegue captaion in history!

The win lifts us up to 7th in the Champions Leegue table, which iz an automatic qualification place for the knockoot stage, with one game to gan in Paris next week against current Champions Leegue winners PSG!---With NUFC on 13 points--the same az PSG and 6 (SIX!) othaa clubs, its aall to play for in the French capital! The worst case scenario iz that NUFC WILL definitely qualify for the 2 legged play offs next month if we miss oot on automatic qualification for the knockoot stage! 

Not anly that, but we will be seeded, in the play offs, with the 2nd leg at home! ⬇️

PSV, meeenwhile, slip to 22nd place!

To put the win into context, PSV were on a 20 game unbeaten AWAY run in aall competitions, includin a 4-1 win at Anfeeeld v Livaapoool! 

Attendance: 52,076 (Includin 2,750 very noisy PSV fans at the start, --who were very quiet at the end!)

*WRITE THE NEXT HEADLINE*, the 'Wor Flags' banner said in the Gallowgate End!----We certainly did that last neet!

   

THE TOON V PSV EINDHOVEN +++ CHAMPIONS LEEGUE GROUP STAGE GAME 7

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Wedinzday 21st January 2026

PSV TRAINED AT SJP LAST NEET, UNDER THE GLOW OF THE FLOODLIGHTS, WHICH LIT UP THE TYNESIDE NIGHT SKY! 

(PHOTO TAKEN FROM GEORDIE TIMES HQ)

Nee sooner iz one game finished then we move onto the next one 3 or 4 days later! This time PSV Eindhoven of Holland at SJP in The Champions Leegue!

This haz been wor exausting schedule since the last International break in Novembaa, az we have played 2 games a week continuously since then!

Possible games totals number 28 in 98 days from Novembaa 22nd til the end of February, givin' us an average of a game every 3.5 days!

The possible extra games come next month IF we are involved in The Champions Leegue play offs: ⬇️

Tuezday 17th or Wedinzday18th February (Champions Leegue play off 1st leg)

Tuezday 24th or Wedinzday 25th February (Champions Leegue play off 2nd leg)

NUFCs squad iz simply too thin to compete in 4 competitions and unless we sign some more players in the transfer window, we fear wor season will unravel!

7 players are currently crocked, namely, Tino Livramento, Dan Burn, Wil Osula, Emil Krafth, Jacob Murphy, Fab Schar and Jamaal Lascelles!

PSV are current Dutch champions and current leegue leaders and a win against them could possibly move us up to the top 8 automatic qualifiyers!---('8 bells!)

If we fail that, then the play offs will add 2 extra games next month---Which iz more than likely! *We are currently 13th after last neets games! ⬇️

Wor 8th and last group game iz against current Champions Leegue holders PSG in Paris next Wedinzday, who lost 2-1 at Sporting Lisbon last neet ---and are just 3 points aheed of NUFC in 5th place!---So its aall to play for if we beat PSV who sit in 21st place oot of 36

Top 8 qualify automatically

9 to 16 gan into the play offs with the away leg 1st and home advantage in the 2nd leg!

17 to 24 gan into the play offs with their home game 1st and 2nd leg away

25 to 36 are eliminated aaltogether!

Not sure just how many PSV fans will be at the game, but normally they travel in large numbers!

"HOWAY THE LADS!"

WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ 0. THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted from ‘1:44pm bells 🔔 on the train(s) back, Munday 19th January 2026

🎵 YOU PUT YOUR LEFT FOOT IN—YOU PUT YOUR RIGHT FOOT OUT—YOU PASS THE BALL SIDEWAYS—AN’  SAY, “WOTS IT ALL ABOUT?” 🎵 🦀 

NUFC IN WOR AALL DARK BLUE CHANGE STRIP

“THE BIG SLEEP!” 😴 

Yet another borin’ 0-0 draw away from home (wor 4th this season!) against a Wolves team ⚓️ anchored to the basement place in the Premyaa Leegue table, who surely will be relegated before the end of March!

We had virtually nee idea how to get near their goal az we made ‘crab 🦀 like’ sideways passes and backwards passes throughoot the forst half— and nee shits (sorry!) SHOTS on target, despite havin an amazing 94% pass rate! The highest in Premyaa Leegue history, withoot havin a direct shot on goal!(according to to Opta stats!) ⬇️

Nick Waltemade did have a heeder from a Trippier free kick, which shaved the crossbar and Sven Botman failed to hit the target from a yard oot, but they were the ‘highlights’? of the forst period! 

The second half woz nee better and it took til the 83rd minute for us to have a direct shot at their goalie!

Aall wor 3 summer signings who cost £180 million between them and who made appearances at different points of the game, were totally anonymous! (Waltemade, Wissa and Elanga!)

Just to sum up wor borin’ crab 🦀 like, sideways, backwards, forwards, backwards passes—-We had a free kick near the halfway line! Trippier took it and passed the baall BACKWARDS towards wor goal, instead of forwards to an attacker! 🙈

Both teams were piss poor, az woz the piss poor ref—and it pissed doon the whole game!—-Aye that’s reet, the 3,000 Toon Travellers were totally ‘pissed off’ az well!

Attendance: 29,751 (The 3,000 Toon fans got soaked to the skin when they left the groond to heed for their coaches and the train station!)

Like aa say, it woz ‘pissin doon’ and these Wolves fans in the corner with nee roof ower their heeds,  looked ridiculous in their ‘Ku Klux Klan’ style rain macs, which they would have been given az they went through the tornstiles! ⬇️

*PUB CRAWL REPORT FROM STAFFORD  7 and MACHESTER 1

 (Pubs in Wolverhampton don’t let away fans in, so we stopped in Stafford 15 minutes away by train! 🚂)

1

2

 

3 ⬆️⬇️

4

5

6

7 ⬆️⬇️

In Manchester on the way back⬇️

8

WOLVERHAMPTON WANABEEZ V THE TOON *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘high noon bells’ Saturday 17th January 2026

Wor 5th game of the month iz comin up against bottom club Wolves, but this time its an away game at their place on Sunday for live telly ‘2:00 bells 🔔’,  live on Sky Sports

3 points should be the order of the day to keep wor Champions Leegue hopes up for next season, while next Wedinzday we play PSV Eindhoven at SJP in THIS seasons Champions Leegue!— It’s aall go!

Dan Burn and Wil Osula are nearing  a retorn to the fray, while Jacob Murphy will miss oot with a hamstring problem!

Tino Livramento and Fab Schar are expected to be oot til March and April respectively!

APPLY BUT DON’T BUY!

In other news, 1,500 Toon fans failed to buy tickets for the Man City away leg in the Leegue Cup, despite bein successful in the ticket sales, which went on sale the day BEFORE wor 2-0 defeat on Tuezday! (Sales to fans with 23 loyalty points closed on Friday!)

In other words, IF we had won 2-0 they would have snapped them up!

ie: “I’m not gannin coz I don’t ‘Fink’ we have any chance of reaching the Wembley final now!”

The NUFC ticket system iz flawed and these ‘chancer fans’ should be banned from the next ticket sales in wor opinion!—(Why oh why didn’t the ticket office put them on sale LAST week and make the deadline for applying on Munday!)

4,750 tickets have so far been sold to the ‘diehards’! (Allocation 6,250)

The rule should be: If you apply and are successful, your money WILL be taken from your bank account and the ticket e mailed to you! 

That would stop the ‘apply don’t buy’ fans—-full stop! ⚫️

The Villa FA Cup away game haz been moved to a 5:45 bells’ 🔔 on Saturday 14th February and we have been allocated 6,500 ticket for that one!— It’s live on the BBC

A match (and booze!) report on the Wolves game will be online sometime on Munday!

“Az per usual, watch this space!”

NEW NUFC TRAININ’ GROOND PLAN!

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 🔔 bells’ Friday 16th January 2026

“GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!”

Here’s a plan of the layoot of wor proposed new ‘state of the art’ trainin’ groond at Woolsington Hall, near Toon airport!

Work iz proposed to start sometime this year and will take 2 years to complete and will cost £200million!

THE TOON 0. THE BLUE MOONIES 2 *** LEAGUE CUP SEMI FINAL 1st LEG

 Posted ‘2:00pm bells 🔔’ Wedinzday 14th January 2026

GANNIN ALANG WEMBLEY WAY***WE NEED A MIRACLE THIS TIME!

“REGRESSION NOT PROGRESSION!”

This woz a reality check for NUFC!

We are still miles behind Man City and The Arse in the pecking order and seem to have taken a backward step since last season!

Anothaa proven striker iz needed in the January transfor window===but will we sign one?

Last season we would probably have got a draw at least and a chance in the 2nd leg—But now we face an uphill (or shud that be a MOUNTAINOUS ⛰️ task?) to reach the final!

We shud have been 1-0 up orly on, az we attacked the Leazes goal when Yoane Wissa woz put clean throughby Jacob Murphy, but with just their goalie to beat he missed the goal aaltogether and skyed hiz shot ower the bar, which ended up in the middle section of the stand! (A certain player who went on strike, with 4 letters in hiz surname, would surely have scored)

Not much else happened in the forst period and the sides went in nil-nil at the break!

Again, in the orly stages of the second half, a Wissa heeder woz goalbound, but Trafford in the Citih goal somehow got hiz hand to it to deny wor number 9!

The baall fell to Bruno who rattled the left hand Gallowgate post, but rebounded to safety!

Soon after this things torned for the worse when they opened the scorin by opening wor defence, when their new signin from Bournemoooth, Semenyo slid the baall into the net to put The Blue Moonies 1-0 up! (Last season he would have been cup tied, but thiz iz Man Citih rules of course!)

We thought he’d doubled their lead soon after, but after a very lang VAR decision it woz chalked off!??

Nine minutes stoppage time woz added (7 for the VAR verdict!) and Waltermade attempted a diving heeder from  cross but he just missed and the baall went oot of play!

Sandro Tonali aalso went close, but hiz shot went just to the right of the goal!

Az the minutes ticked doon and with a 1-0 defeat, we still had a slim chance in the 2nd leg 🦵⬅️ but we shot worselz in the foot 🦶 ⬅️ when in the dying throws of the game (98th minute!) Cherki hit a close range shot past The Pope in The Toon goal to put them 2-0 up and make the retorn tie a dead 💀 rubber ✏️ 

It will be very interesting to see just how many tickets we sell for The Ethiad orly next month! Man Citih anly sold 3,000 of their allocation of 5,000 tickets last neet! (The 2,000 unsold tickets were sold to Toon fans)

Attendance: 51,392

*This woz NUFC's 200th competitive game since the end of Covid restrictions and aalso The Geordie Times 200th consective game attended since then in the UK and Europe!

*In the 4 home games we have played in 9 days in January, ower 200,000 fans have passed through the SJP tornstiles!--Not bad for the period after the Xmas break!

'Cry for the Palace' attendance: 51,979 (1,000 away fans)

Leeedz attendance: 52, 176 (3,200 away fans--maximum alloction)

Bournemoooth attendance: 51,563 (700 away fans)

Man Citih attendance: 51,392 (3,000 away fans--allocation 5,000) 

Total: 207,110 (7,900 away fans)

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONS *** LEEGUE CUP SEMI FINAL 1st LEG

Posted 'high noon bells' 🔔 Tuezday 13th January 2026

AND TODAY’S REFEREE— IZ! ⬆️

NUFC play wor 4th home game in 9 days tooneet when we take on Man Citih in an '8 bells' kick off!

We've won the previous 3 (just!) but this one will be the toughest of aall!

Win by even the odd goal and we've got a chance in the 2nd leg at the beginnin of February!  A draw wouldnt be a disaster eethaa, but a defeat would make it very (very!) difficult at The Ethiad Stadium!

We have actually beaten them 2-1 in ‘The Prem’ at SJP in Novembaa, with 2 goals from Harvey Barnes!

A brace from him tooneet would be very welcome, to say the least! 🙏🏻 

Nee one thought that we would beat The Arse ower 2 legs last season, but of course we did to make the final az underdogs and beat The Liverbirds to win the Leegue Cup at Wembley!

It doesnt help or make any sense that the referee iz Chris Kavanagh, who woz born in MANCHESTER and claims to support non leegue Droylsdon, (who play just 2 miles from The Ethiad!)---Howz that fair?😭

It would be like Northumberland born referee Micheal Oliver claimin to support Heaton Stannington (just 2 miles from SJP) and refereein the 2nd leg in Manchester!--It just wouldn't happen!—-so how can a Manc referee be in charge of a game against us, involvin a Manchester club?

Of course we had a Manc born referee when we played Man U on Boxin Day, at ‘The Theatre of Muppets’, none other than  Anthony Taylor who claims to support Altincham, in greater Manchester!

Anyway!---back to the game!---We 'Fink' Steady Eddie will play hiz strongest team possible, while The Blue Moons might rest a few of their stars, az The Premyaa Leegue iz their main target!

We will soon find oot if the Wembley dream ‘iz on’ come '10:00 bells 🔔 tooneet! The game iz live on ITV1 and Sky Sports!

The Blue Moonies were allocated nearly 5,000 tickets, but have retorned an unspecified number?

Az per usual "Watch this space on Wedinzday!" to find oot the score!

FA CUP DRAW *** COME IN NUMBER TWENTY FOUR!

 Posted ‘6:00 pm 🛎️ bells’ Munday 12th January 2026

Updated ‘6:46pm bells 🔔’ ⬇️

ITS VILLA AWAY! ⬆️

The draw for the 4th roond of the FA Cup takes place in less than an hours time!

We can only hope for a home draw against a lesser team— but NOT 6th tier Macclesfeeeld pleeeze, az my heart might not be able to take it! (If we de get them. then the BBC will probably dig John Motson up still wearin hiz sheepskin coat, to commentate on the game! (IF yih naa---yih naa!?) ⬇️

Of the 32 other teams left in the competition, anly Salford (Who don’t play Swindon til Tuezday week) are the sole team left, who’s groond ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ have never been tee!

And in case you are wondering, YES! we have been to Macclesfeeeld before, to watch NUFC U21s v Macclesfeeeld in the EFL Trophy in front of 525 hardy souls in 2019, includin 74 Toonhoppers in the away end! (plus several others in the home sections) (Lost 2-1!)

Az well az Macclesfeeeld, we really divvint want to be gannin to the SOS, 12 miles south east of the Tyne on a different river!

The draw iz live on TNT Sports and we will of course let yiz naa just where we will be gannin? and who we will play?  (NUFC are baall number 24) ⬇️

UPDATED ‘6:46pm bell🔔s’  ⬇️

*ITS VILLA AWAY!

THE TOON 3. THE CHERRY PICKERS 3 AET. NUFC WON 7-6 ON PENALTIES! *** FA CUP 3rd ROOND

 Posted from ‘high noon 🕛 🔔 bells’ Sunday 11th January 2026

HERO OF THE DAY—AARON RAMSDALE WHO SAVED 3 PENALTIES IN THE SHOOTOUT!

“ ITS NEVER OVER TIL ITS OVER AT NUFC!”.                        

🤪🙈🤪🙈🤪🙈🤪👍🏁🏆🥇

Followin on from the epic 4-3 win v Leeedz on Wedinzday, we surely couldnt have another nail-biter 3 days later!---Could we?

The sequence of events woz az follows:

Forst half!

Yoane Wissa shoots from inside the box from a Waltermade pass, saved by Petrovic!---Thats aboot it from the openin 45 minutes, where misstayk after mistakke woz made by both teams az they consistantly gave the baall away! 

Second half!

Aaron Ramsdale makes a great save to keep Bournemoooth oot!

Nick Waltermade threads a brilliant baall through to Harvey Barnes and he hits a sweet right footed shot past Petrovic at The Gallowgate End 1-0 to us!🤪

Sven Botman heeds the baall off bar from a Lewis Hall corner kick, but it boonces onto the groond and to safety

Bournemoooth equalise through a tap in from Scott who woz unmarked near the goal line! 1-1 🙈

Brooks puts The Cherry Pickers aheed with a  shot from edge of box!  2-1 to them! 🙈

We're enter the 5th minute of stoppage time at the end of the game and aall looks lost, but thiz IZ NUFC!   Sandro Tonali runs into the box and iz poleaxed by Petrovic and the ref points straight to the spot!

Anthony Gordon takes the penalty andput hiz shot to the left of Petrovic, who dives reet way but cannit stop the baall enterin the net 2-2 and 30 minutes extra time!🤪

2 minutes before the end of extra time Anthony Gordon crosses the baall and Harvey Barnes sends a brilliant heeder into the corner of the goal to win the game for NUFC!🤪

But hang on a minute!---We somehow manage to shoot worselz in the foot when Tavernier squezes a toe poke past Ramsdale and Botman in the 122nd minute to level things again and send the game into a penalty shootout!🙈

Penalty shootout:

NUFC take the forst one at The Leazes End and Anthony Gordon scores 1-0 to us!🤪

Tavernier scores form them 1-1🙈

Waltermade hits the bar with hiz effort  1-1🙈

Evanislson' shot saved by Ramsdale 1-1🤪

Bruno's weak shot iz saved by Petrovic 1-1🙈

Cook scores 2-1 to them!🙈

Tonali scores 2-2🤪

Jiminez shot saved by Ramsdale 2-2🤪

Joelinton scores 3-2 to us🤪

Senesi scores 3-3🙈

Hall scores 4-3 to us🤪

Hill scores 4-4🙈

Miley scores 5-4 to us 🤪

Truffert scores 5-5🙈

Barnes scores 6-5 to us🤪

Smith scores 6-6🙈

Thiaw scores 7-6 to us🤪

Diakite's shot iz saved by Ramsdale to win the match for NUFC 7-6!!!

🤪👍🏁🏆🥇

PITCH CELEBRATIONS AFTER THE PENALTY SHOOTOUT WIN!

Its nearly 3 hours since the game started, but we are in the 4th roond in more dramatic cercumstances!

Like we say!--Thiz IZ NUFC ---Wot the hell did yoo expect!?

Attendance: 51,563 (Just 700 Cherry 🍒 Pickers)

*

ANOTHER TRIBUTE TO KING KEVIN KEEGAN WHO HAZ BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER!— “GET WELL SOON KEV!”

THE TOON V THE CHERRY 🍒 PICKERS *** FA CUP 3rd ROOND

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Saturday 10th January 2026

ELATED TOON FANS LEAVE SJP ON WEDINZDAY AFTER WORK CRAZY 4-3 WIN V LEEEDZ!

NUFC play the 3rd of wor 4 home games in a row against Bournemoooth in the FA Cup at ‘3:00 🛎️ bells’ (Nee live telly for a change—unless yih got a dodgy fire 🔥 stick 🦯!

Fab Schar twisted hiz ankle against Leeedz on Wedinzday and iz expected to be oot for quite a while!

He iz added to the crocked list of Dan Burn, Jamaal Lascelles, Will Osula, Emil Krafth and last be not least, Anthony Elanga!

Playin 9 games in 1 month iz not ideal, but this iz the forst time ever that we have been involved in 4 different competitions in the month of January! (Premyaa Leegue, FA Cup, Leegue Cup and Champions Leegue!)

In the last 12 home games, we have won 10 and drawn 2 and are aiming for wor 11th win in that sequence!

There must be a winner today and if the scores are level at full time, 30 minutes extra time will be played, with a dreaded penalty shootout to follow if it’s still aall square!

A Geordie Times match report will be online sometime tomorrow az per usual!