|"I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT!"|
Monday, 9 July 2012
001 ST JAMES' PARK---SAMPDORIA 2007
DATELINE: 5th AUGUST 2007
ST JAMES’ PARK,
ATTENDANCE: 23,078 (100 Sampdoria fans)
YI COULD MAKE THIS UP!!!!!” ABSOLOOTLEEE
Just five hours from getting’ back from the away friendly at Hull, it was time to get up again and heed for the airport for The Toon’s next game against Sampdoria in Newcastle, via Amsterdam!
Before yi think that a’v gone completeleee ‘off it’---lerriz explain!
At wor last home game of the previous season, ‘Biffa the Bear’ (the one from
, not! ‘The Beano’) had
telt iz that The Toon had been invited to play in the Amsterdam Tournament in
August, but that it had’nt been
‘cast in stone’ yet! Whitley
He said that he’d ‘took a chance’ and aalready booked up, so that was good enough for me!, especially when aa foond oot later that Sky telly were runnin’ adverts sayin’ that they were coverin’ it and that The Toon were one of the participatin’ teams.
As the tournament was ower three days aa asked wor lass if she fancied gannin and she said: “AYE!”
AND SO! (as yi de!) aa went straight onto the KLM website to book two cheap seats to ‘The Seedy City’.
Wor lass’s son Craig then decided that he fancied gannin as well and so aa booked anotha couple of seats for him and his fiancée Vicky. (---so far so good!)
Me and wor lass then went on a short break to Ibiza and when we got back Craig telt us some devastatin’ news!------NO!---not that anybody had taken seriously ill or died!, but much worse than that!-----The Toon had ‘pulled the plug’ and WERE’NT playin’ in the Amsterdam Tournament after aall!
Aa was absolootleee devastated!---Aa meeen!----if they wee’nt gannin to
then where the f*** were they gannin??? Amsterdam
Aa hung on for a few weeks before aa booked the hotel, just in case The Toon were playin’ somewhere else when we were in
The above mentioned away friendly against
was arranged for the
forst of August. We were flyin’ on the second so aa’d got away with that one! Hull
HOWEVER!----the next friendly was at home to Sampdoria the followin’ Sunday at ‘three bells’----the day we were due to fly back!
A quick look at the flight schedule conformed mee worst fears as the plane from
due to land at at half time! Toon
And the fact that it sometimes teks ages to get through customs and a replacement bus sorvice for the Metro was on for that weekend, (just to hoy a spanner in the works!) meant that aa would miss the whole match unless! aa changed mee flight time!
A (very!) quick discussion with wor lass then followed and it was decided that aa would just book meesel on an orlier flight and leave hor to catch the original flight back with Craig and Vicky!
It cost iz eighty quid extra to book a seat on the ‘ten to nine bells’ flight—but of course it meant that aa would’nt miss the match after aall! (a smaall? price to pay to see The Toon!???)
And so!---here we foond worsels at
in the orly hours of thorsday mornin’ with fower
and ne matches to gan te! Amsterdam
To mek matters worse, we could’nt find any hotels in the centre of ‘The Seedy City’ for less than a hundred quid a neet!
and in any case they were aall full anyway!
We had ne option but to find a hotel near to the airport and ended up on the ootskirts of a toon caalled Hoofdorf which was some twenty miles from the city centre!
The hotel was in the middle of an industrial estate just to add to the ‘shambles’!
We decided to sample the delights of Hoofdorf for the forst day of the three, and heed for
for the remainin’ two. Amsterdam
The hotel receptionist telt wih that it was a fifteen minute waalk to the toon centre and as it was a nice sunny day, ‘off we set’!
Some FORTY! minutes later we arrived in the toon centre for the afternoon ‘session’ and a bit ‘mosey’ aroond the shops. (they must be (very!) fast waalkers aroond these parts!)
The shops were quite busy and we foond a café bar in the centre and plonked worsels on the seats ootside for some ‘Desperate Dan’ and a few ‘liquids’.
The village idiot, who in this case was a ‘scraggily haired’ road sweeper with a wheelie bin attached to the front of his bike, (would you believe?) was wearin’ a pair of ‘Elton John style’ sunglasses which had the number ‘2000’ attached to the front, with the middle two ‘00’s’ actin’ as the eye lenses!
He was taalkin’ away to himself as he swept the path and was totally oblivious to anyone starin’ at him as he peddled aroond in circles lookin’ aimlessly for some rubbish to sweep up!
It was soon time to ‘move on’ and after a couple more ‘liquid lubrication stops’ we heeded back on the ‘marathon trek’ back to the hotel for a ‘wash n brush up’ before the evenin’ session.
“WELCOME TO GHOSTOWNDORF!”
We decided to tek a taxi back to Hoofdorf as we’d done enough waalkin’ for a week! and when aa asked one of the locals in the hotel bar just what the nightlife was like in Hoofdorf he just laughed! (we soon foond oot why!)
We asked wor taxi driver, who went by the name of Jeffrey to tek us to the ‘nightlife’! and he dropped us off ootside a bar in a deserted street?
We had a few ‘gargels’ and decided to move on to the next ‘drinkin den’----the anly problem was!----we could’nt find any others open!
Eventually after wanderin’ the empty streets for twenty minutes we foond (what torned oot to be!) the anly otha booza open in the whole of Hoofdorf toon centre! (now renamed ‘Ghostowndorf’!)
An ‘enforced’ stay then ensued (aa meeen---where else was there to gan?) before we heeded back to the forst ‘waaterin hole’ for ‘last orders’
We were a bit p****d off by now and tried to find a taxi to tek us back to the hotel, but!----there was’nt a one to be seen!
Luckily ‘Jeffrey’ had given Craig a card with his number on so we gave him ‘a bell’ to pick us up.
We went back to the hotel where, ironically, the Amsterdam Tournament was live on the telly. (the soul reason we had come here!)
“THE WRANG TRAIN! AT THE WRANG TIME!”
Next day it was off to Amsterdam itself on the train to sample the delights of Dam Square and ‘The Red Light District’, which was a real ‘eye opener’ for Vicky, the anly one of us who had’nt been here before!.
’ is a very expensive
place with prices aroond aboot double of that back home and several hours later
(and several euros lighter!) we heeded back to the train station for the ‘ten
bells’ train back to the airport. Seedy
From there we were to catch the free shuttle bus back to the hotel and the last one was at ‘qwaata past eleven bells’.
However!---after half an hour into the journey we realized that there was sommik wrang as the journey time was anly twenty minutes. The train then stopped at ‘Den Haag’ (
) and aa realized that we had got on
train at the wrang time! The Hague
By the time we’d got back to the airport (via Amsterdam once again!) we’d missed the last shuttle bus back to the hotel and had to folk oot the equivalent of thirty quid for a taxi to get us back! (What else could gan wrang???------reeed on!)
“THE WRANG BOAT! AT THE WRANG TIME!”
Day three of the ‘Sampdoria sortie’ was soon underway and we decided to kill some time by tekin’ a cruse aroond the canals after we’d had ‘luncheon’ near to Dam Square.
And at 60 euros (£40) for fower omelet and chips and two roonds of drinks, it was’nt cheap!
It was then time to gan on wor ‘canal croooze’ (“er!” via the ‘sex museum’!) The boat was full on wor departure and a tape recordin’ telt us (in fower languages!) that there were ower a thousand bridges in
and aboot five hundred kilometers of canals! (now that’s anotha bit of useless
information that aa naa!) Amsterdam
After aboot half an hour we rounded a bend on one of the main canals to be confronted with hundreds of boats playin’ very loud music and they were packed to the rafters with people in pink garlands and shirts dancin’ to the rhythm of the beat.
They aall had messages on their shirts which said sommik like, ‘AMSTERDAM GAAYE PRID WEIKEND’, and aa used mee vast knowledge of international languages (fluid Geordie and broken English!) to decipher that it actually said, ‘AMSTERDAM GAY PRIDE WEEKEND’!!!
Then it suddenly hirr-iz!---this was the reel reason that we could’nt get any hotel places in the centre of ‘The Seedy City’, as aall the, “I’m Freeee!”- ‘Gay Gordons’ and ‘Butch Bimbos’ had booked them, in what was the biggest ‘Gay Day’ in mainland Europe!
After we got off the boat we wandered the streets which was packed with them, in their leather jeans, chains, kinky leather boots and ‘Austrian style’ (very!) tight leather shorts, that left little to the imagination!----ie:----IT was time to make A SHARP exit!
We made for the other side of the train station where it was a lot quieter and ‘leather free!’ and we finished off the evenin’ session there, before heedin’ back to the airport once again (this time on the reet! train!) and then onto wor hotel.
It had certainly been an eventful weekend so far!
Aa, of course had to get up orly the next mornin’ (Sunday) to catch the ‘ten to nine bells’ flight back to Toon Airport for the Sampdoria match and aa said mee ‘goodbyes’ to wor lass at ‘qwaata to five bells’ and caught the forst shuttle bus to Schipol.
“PANIC STATIONS! (for a split second!)
When aa got to the airport terminal mee ‘tellin’ bone’ rang and it was a text message reportedly from KLM Airlines. It said: ‘Due to industrial action all flight will be severely disrupted!”
For a split second aa went into ‘panic station mode!’
But mee suspicions were raised when aa realized that a’d neva gave them mee mobile number in the first place? (ie: “aa smelt a rat!”)
A quick check to just who had sent it revealed that mee mate Davy had been tryin’ to wind me up!---panic ower!
The flight was bang on time and aa arrived back in the Toon at precisely ‘ten bells’ (five hours to kick off!---wots the panic???)
Forst stop was ‘The Three Bulls Knackers’ where Alan the manager was unboltin’ the doors (very good timin’!) and (as yi’d expect!) aa ordered a ‘Billy Bunter Brekky’, washed doon with a pint of ‘extra caad Smiths’!-----aa was nuw ready for ‘the off’! (so to speak!)
A few more liquids with ‘Grumpy Stumpy’, ‘
Plumber’ and the rest of the crew in ‘The Newcastle Arms’ and ‘The Labour Club’
and it was time to gan to the match! Norman
The groond was less than half full as the game kicked off with ‘Level 7’ completely empty.
Sampdoria had brung aroond a hundred fans who were situated in the lower tier of ‘The Leazes’ and they were makin’ quite a racket, considerin’ their smaall numbers.
Both Alan Smith and Mark Vaduka who were both makin’ their debuts and went close at The Leazes End in the forst half.
The second period produced two goals from Smith, the forst one was disallowed for offside in the 51st minute, (it was’nt!) but ‘justice was done’ 20 mins later when he heeded in at close range from a Geremi corner.
“AA’LLS WELL THAT ENDS WELL!”
Considerin’ that this was the forst time a’d flew to a HOME game (aa live aboot two miles from the groond!) and a’d actually been ‘on the hoy’ at
airport at ‘six bells’, some NINE hours before kick off! (normally it’s three
hours!) aa was a little bit ineebreeated! to say the least! Amsterdam
Wor lass’s flight was bang on time and me ‘din dins’ was waitin’ for iz as aa staggered in the hoose sometime later!
An eventful weekend???---your not f*****’ kiddin’!
©Fink™ (the mad-sad groundhopper!)
ARCHIVE GROUNDS MATCH REPORT LIST
- 001 st james park (1964) Newcastle v coventry (1)
- 001 st james park 2007 v sampdoria (1)
- 001 st james park 2014 v Liverpool (1)
- 002 joker park blunderland 1967 (1)
- 002 joker park revisited 1970 (1)
- 003 anfield liverpool (1)
- 004 highbury arsenal (1)
- 005 molinuex wolves (1)
- 006 loftus road qpr (1)
- 006 revisited loftus road qpr (1)
- 007 maine road manchester city (1)
- 008 the dell southampton (1)
- 009 upton park last ever visit 2015 (1)
- 009 upton park west ham (1)
- 011 highfield road coventry (1)
- 012 redheugh park gateshead (1)
- 013 city ground Nottingham forest (1)
- 014 selhurst park crystal palace (1)
- 017 filbert street Leicester 1992 (1)
- 018 Victoria ground stoke (1)
- 021 edgar street hereford (1)
- 022 bramall lane sheffield (1)
- 023 baseball ground derby (1)
- 026 white hart lane tottenham (1)
- 028 old show ground scunthorpe (1)
- 030 hillsborough sheffield (v burnley) (1)
- 034 turf moor burnley (1)
- 040 boothferry park hull (2)
- 044 shielfield park berwick (1)
- 045 the den millwall (1)
- 050 craven cottage fulham (1)
- 053 boundary park oldham (1)
- 055 home park plymouth 2010 (1)
- 058 carrow road Norwich (revisited 2017) (1)
- 059 revisited oakwell Barnsley 2016 (1)
- 061 (revisited 2007) Victoria ground (now 'park') hartlepool (1)
- 069 palmerston park queen of the south (1)
- 070 easter road hibernian (1)
- 073 vicarage road watford (1)
- 078 ferens park durham (1)
- 086 dens park dundee (1)
- 090 dean court bournemouth (1)
- 091 elm park reading (1)
- 091 elm park reading revisited (1)
- 097 ashton gate revisited Bristol city (1)
- 100 prenton park tranmere (1)
- 100 pub crawl challenge (1)
- 102 roots hall southend (1)
- 105 revisited bootham crescent york (1)
- 106 belle vue doncaster (1)
- 108 griffin park revisited 2017 (1)
- 109 porta elisa luccese italy (1)
- 110 stadio san nicola bari italy (1)
- 136 bucks head telford (1)
- 158 olympic/respublikansky stadium kiev (1)
- 166 nou camp barcelona (1)
- 170 (revisited) dalymount park Dublin 2016 (1)
- 177 rockcliffe park middlesbrough (1)
- 187 belle vue park consett (1)
- 187 belle vue park consett last ever visit 2013 (1)
- 199 new broomfield park (1)
- 215 killingworth young persons centre (walker central) (1)
- 223 raydale park gretna (1)
- 233 moss lane Altrincham (man u res) (1)
- 247 raizor stadium la coruna 2010 (1)
- 250 kingsley park ryton (nufc academy) (1)
- 251 revisited jjb stadium wigan (1)
- 255 whaddon road cheltenham (1)
- 266 keepmoat stadium doncaster (1)
- 267 ricoh arena coventry (1)
- 268 welfare ground hetton le hole (v s/land res) (1)
- 269 church road north Ferriby (v hull res) (1)
- 270 tallaght stadium dublin (1)
- 271 woodhorn lane ashington (1)
- 272 cardiff city stadium cardiff (1)
- 273: don valley stadium (1)
- 274 liberty stadium swansea (1)
- 275 crown ground accrington (1)
- 276 champions hill stadium dulwich hamlet (1)
- 277 great barr west brom (1)
- 278 leighsports village stadium blackburn (1)
- 279 shirecliffe sheffield (1)
- 280 veld 7 almere (1)
- 281 b2 net stadium chesterfield (1)
- 282 parc y scarlets llanelli (1)
- 283 amex stadium brighton (1)
- 284a and 284b academy of sshh (yee naa wot) cleadon (1)
- 285 NOT motspur park london (1)
- 285a and 285b middlewood sheffield (1)
- 286 brockhall academy blackburn (1)
- 287 gellert stadium chemnitz germany (1)
- 288 estadio algarve faro portugal (1)
- 289 kyocera stadion den haag the hague holland (1)
- 290 municipal stadium of peristeri (1)
- 291 estadio dos barreiros maritimo madeira (1)
- 292 bulls croos training complex spurs reserves (1)
- 293 jan breydel stadion brugge belgium (1)
- 294 underhill barnet london (1)
- 295 stade chaban delmas bordeaux (1)
- 296 silverlake stadium eastleigh (v southampton res) (1)
- 297 metalist stadium karkiv (1)
- 298 luzhniki stadium Moscow (v anzi) (1)
- 299 clayton wood stoke (1)
- 300 estadio da luz benfica (1)
- 301 fir park motherwell (1)
- 302 rugby park kilmarnock (1)
- 303 st Mirren park st mirren (1)
- 304 globe arena morecambe (1)
- 305 Pirelli stadium burton (1)
- 305 revisited perelli stadium burton (1)
- 306 belle vue stadium consett (1)
- 307 NOT! woodside park bishop's stortford (1)
- 307a and 307b aon training complex carrington (1)
- 308 veltins arena gelsenkirchen germany (1)
- 309 priesfield stadium gillingham (1)
- 310 meadow park borehamwood (1)
- 311 grounsell park heaton stannington (1)
- 312 platt lane academy man city (1)
- 313 bigges main wallsend (1)
- 314 the new den millwall (1)
- 315 lostock bolton u18s (1)
- 316 oakwood training centre derby (1)
- 317 city football academy complex (pitch 8) manchester city (1)
- 318 new manor ground ilkeston (1)
- 319 broadfield stadium crawley (v brighton U21s) (1)
- 320 horsfall stadium bradford pa (1)
- 321 Victoria road dagenham (west ham) (1)
- 322 new york stadium rotherham (1)
- 323 roundwood pavilion Rotherham u23s (1)
- 324 kassam stadium oxford (1)
- 325 turnbull ground whitby (v celtic u23s) (1)
- 326 opel arena mainz germany (1)
- 327 st georges park nr burton (v stoke u23s) (1)
- 328 heritage parkbishop auckland(v mboro u23s (1)
- 329 weston homes stadium colchester (1)
- 330 London stadium west ham (1)
- 331 edgeley park stockport (v burnley) (1)
- 332 bracken moor lane stocksbridge (v sheff u u23s) (1)
- 333 adams park Wycombe (reading u23s) (1)
- 334 holker street barrow (1)
- 335 Richmond park st pats ath (1)
- 336 trungle parc mousehole (1)
- 337 estadio dragoa porto (1)
- airdrie (1)
- atrtomitos (1)
- Blaydon Races song (1)
- geordie glossary of terms 'a' to 'z' (1)
- greece (1)
- ground zero elland road leeds (1)
- olympic stadium (1)
- sheffield (1)
- the geordie times (an explanation) (1)
- the geordie times online (1)
- the toon 1 thetoffees 2 (1)
- the toon v bolton (1)