THE COLONEL ISN'T DEED!
Three of us travelled doon in 'The Batmobile' namly, me, The Bear' and 'The Caped Crusader' who was the chauffeur and we arrived in good time for a few 'gargels' in The Plough Motel which is one of the very few bars within strikin' distance of the groond.
The 'liquid lubrications' were canny cheeep but the doonside was that they were in F*****' PLASTIC POTS! which iz very appropriate az Stoke are naan az 'The Potters' ('The Plastic Potters' perhaps?)
|"NE PROPA GLASSES IN HERE!" ^|
Then a miracle happened!---NO!---they didn't start sorvin' the beer oot of 'propa glasses'!---the miracle was that 'The Colonel' then waalked through the door!
'The Colonel', you see, is 'the spit' of 'Gadaffi' and he hails from Bracknall in Berkshire and NOT! Tripoli!
"They killed one of my 'doubles'!" he said az he sat doon to disbelivin' stares from the Stoke fans present!---addin' that he'd managed to escape on one of his camels through the Sahara Desert!
Anyway!---after a canny few 'plastic pintas' it was time for the 'route march' to the groond which iz a good twenty five minutes away at fast waalkin pace!
And did you naa that there isn't ONE other boozer on the entire route!, (aall uphill!) via the flyover ower the 'A500' duel carraigeway, through some derelict buildin's, alang a weed strewn path, and then up a flight of stairs, ower a canal and then ower another flyover, before eventually reachin' the away tornstiles!---"pant! pant! pant!" (meks you glad we are blessed with a groond in the city centre--doesn't it?)
Wearin' wor 'Aall Blacks' change strip, we took the lead in the 12th minute when Gabriel Obertan crossed for Demba Ba to heed home at the Boothen End (the far end from us)
We doubled wor lead some 5mins before the interval when Ba then got his 2nd with a shot from close in, to send the 1,500 or so Toon fans wild!
"A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE!"
As we had a two goal cushion we played Stoke at their own 'lang throw in game' when Ryan Taylor asked the baall boys for a towel before launchin 'Delap' type throw ins, much to the annoyance of Pullis's Potters! and delight of The Toon management!---BRILLIANT TACTICS!
Stoke pulled one back with a dodgy lookin' penalty after 'Beanpole Crouch' went doon like 'a sack of taaties' in the box after an innocuous challenge from Ba.
The points were sealed however within a few minutes when a similar situation happened in wor box and Demba Ba comleted his 'Hat-Trick and Treat' by hammerin' the baall home in front of the delerious Toon fans, includin' 'The Colonel'
|SOMEWHERE AT THE BACK OF THE AWAY END!|
Steven Taylor, incidentleee wore a protective PLASTIC mask---very appropriate for this 'hallo'ween' encoonter!
This win teks us up to the 'dizzy heights' of THORD PLACE! above Chelsea and just ONE POINT behind 2nd placed Man U.
Shud we beat Everton in the orly '12:45 bells' Saturday kick off ,we will actually gan up to SECOND PLACE for two hours at least! (Man U play the SMB's at '3 bells'!)
Attendance: 26,564 (1,500 Toon fans)
PS In less than one hours time, The Toons 2nd string are playin' @ Robin Park, Wigan against Wigan resorves---a groond we've been te before!
However!--At least THREE 'mad-sad groundhoppers' will be there to represent us!----Dave from York, Alex of St George and Glennn from Ashington!--------match report to follow