THE TOON 0. THE BLUE MOONIES 2 *** LEAGUE CUP SEMI FINAL 1st LEG

 Posted ‘2:00pm bells 🔔’ Wedinzday 14th January 2026

GANNIN ALANG WEMBLEY WAY***WE NEED A MIRACLE THIS TIME!

“REGRESSION NOT PROGRESSION!”

This woz a reality check for NUFC!

We are still miles behind Man City and The Arse in the pecking order and seem to have taken a backward step since last season!

Anothaa proven striker iz needed in the January transfor window===but will we sign one?

Last season we would probably have got a draw at least and a chance in the 2nd leg—But now we face an uphill (or shud that be a MOUNTAINOUS ⛰️ task?) to reach the final!

We shud have been 1-0 up orly on, az we attacked the Leazes goal when Yoane Wissa woz put clean throughby Jacob Murphy, but with just their goalie to beat he missed the goal aaltogether and skyed hiz shot ower the bar, which ended up in the middle section of the stand! (A certain player who went on strike, with 4 letters in hiz surname, would surely have scored)

Not much else happened in the forst period and the sides went in nil-nil at the break!

Again, in the orly stages of the second half, a Wissa heeder woz goalbound, but Trafford in the Citih goal somehow got hiz hand to it to deny wor number 9!

The baall fell to Bruno who rattled the left hand Gallowgate post, but rebounded to safety!

Soon after this things torned for the worse when they opened the scorin by opening wor defence, when their new signin from Bournemoooth, Semenyo slid the baall into the net to put The Blue Moonies 1-0 up! (Last season he would have been cup tied, but thiz iz Man Citih rules of course!)

We thought he’d doubled their lead soon after, but after a very lang VAR decision it woz chalked off!??

Nine minutes stoppage time woz added (7 for the VAR verdict!) and Waltermade attempted a diving heeder from  cross but he just missed and the baall went oot of play!

Sandro Tonali aalso went close, but hiz shot went just to the right of the goal!

Az the minutes ticked doon and with a 1-0 defeat, we still had a slim chance in the 2nd leg 🦵⬅️ but we shot worselz in the foot 🦶 ⬅️ when in the dying throws of the game (98th minute!) Cherki hit a close range shot past The Pope in The Toon goal to put them 2-0 up and make the retorn tie a dead 💀 rubber ✏️ 

It will be very interesting to see just how many tickets we sell for The Ethiad orly next month! Man Citih anly sold 3,000 of their allocation of 5,000 tickets last neet! (The 2,000 unsold tickets were sold to Toon fans)

Attendance: 51,392

*This woz NUFC's 200th competitive game since the end of Covid restrictions and aalso The Geordie Times 200th consective game attended since then in the UK and Europe!

*In the 4 home games we have played in 9 days in January, ower 200,000 fans have passed through the SJP tornstiles!--Not bad for the period after the Xmas break!

'Cry for the Palace' attendance: 51,979 (1,000 away fans)

Leeedz attendance: 52, 176 (3,200 away fans--maximum alloction)

Bournemoooth attendance: 51,563 (700 away fans)

Man Citih attendance: 51,392 (3,000 away fans--allocation 5,000) 

Total: 207,110 (7,900 away fans)

THE TOON v THE BLUE MOONS *** LEEGUE CUP SEMI FINAL 1st LEG

Posted 'high noon bells' 🔔 Tuezday 13th January 2026

AND TODAY’S REFEREE— IZ! ⬆️

NUFC play wor 4th home game in 9 days tooneet when we take on Man Citih in an '8 bells' kick off!

We've won the previous 3 (just!) but this one will be the toughest of aall!

Win by even the odd goal and we've got a chance in the 2nd leg at the beginnin of February!  A draw wouldnt be a disaster eethaa, but a defeat would make it very (very!) difficult at The Ethiad Stadium!

We have actually beaten them 2-1 in ‘The Prem’ at SJP in Novembaa, with 2 goals from Harvey Barnes!

A brace from him tooneet would be very welcome, to say the least! 🙏🏻 

Nee one thought that we would beat The Arse ower 2 legs last season, but of course we did to make the final az underdogs and beat The Liverbirds to win the Leegue Cup at Wembley!

It doesnt help or make any sense that the referee iz Chris Kavanagh, who woz born in MANCHESTER and claims to support non leegue Droylsdon, (who play just 2 miles from The Ethiad!)---Howz that fair?😭

It would be like Northumberland born referee Micheal Oliver claimin to support Heaton Stannington (just 2 miles from SJP) and refereein the 2nd leg in Manchester!--It just wouldn't happen!—-so how can a Manc referee be in charge of a game against us, involvin a Manchester club?

Of course we had a Manc born referee when we played Man U on Boxin Day, at ‘The Theatre of Muppets’, none other than  Anthony Taylor who claims to support Altincham, in greater Manchester!

Anyway!---back to the game!---We 'Fink' Steady Eddie will play hiz strongest team possible, while The Blue Moons might rest a few of their stars, az The Premyaa Leegue iz their main target!

We will soon find oot if the Wembley dream ‘iz on’ come '10:00 bells 🔔 tooneet! The game iz live on ITV1 and Sky Sports!

The Blue Moonies were allocated nearly 5,000 tickets, but have retorned an unspecified number?

Az per usual "Watch this space on Wedinzday!" to find oot the score!

FA CUP DRAW *** COME IN NUMBER TWENTY FOUR!

 Posted ‘6:00 pm 🛎️ bells’ Munday 12th January 2026

Updated ‘6:46pm bells 🔔’ ⬇️

ITS VILLA AWAY! ⬆️

The draw for the 4th roond of the FA Cup takes place in less than an hours time!

We can only hope for a home draw against a lesser team— but NOT 6th tier Macclesfeeeld pleeeze, az my heart might not be able to take it! (If we de get them. then the BBC will probably dig John Motson up still wearin hiz sheepskin coat, to commentate on the game! (IF yih naa---yih naa!?) ⬇️

Of the 32 other teams left in the competition, anly Salford (Who don’t play Swindon til Tuezday week) are the sole team left, who’s groond ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ have never been tee!

And in case you are wondering, YES! we have been to Macclesfeeeld before, to watch NUFC U21s v Macclesfeeeld in the EFL Trophy in front of 525 hardy souls in 2019, includin 74 Toonhoppers in the away end! (plus several others in the home sections) (Lost 2-1!)

Az well az Macclesfeeeld, we really divvint want to be gannin to the SOS, 12 miles south east of the Tyne on a different river!

The draw iz live on TNT Sports and we will of course let yiz naa just where we will be gannin? and who we will play?  (NUFC are baall number 24) ⬇️

UPDATED ‘6:46pm bell🔔s’  ⬇️

*ITS VILLA AWAY!

THE TOON 3. THE CHERRY PICKERS 3 AET. NUFC WON 7-6 ON PENALTIES! *** FA CUP 3rd ROOND

 Posted from ‘high noon 🕛 🔔 bells’ Sunday 11th January 2026

HERO OF THE DAY—AARON RAMSDALE WHO SAVED 3 PENALTIES IN THE SHOOTOUT!

“ ITS NEVER OVER TIL ITS OVER AT NUFC!”.                        

🤪🙈🤪🙈🤪🙈🤪👍🏁🏆🥇

Followin on from the epic 4-3 win v Leeedz on Wedinzday, we surely couldnt have another nail-biter 3 days later!---Could we?

The sequence of events woz az follows:

Forst half!

Yoane Wissa shoots from inside the box from a Waltermade pass, saved by Petrovic!---Thats aboot it from the openin 45 minutes, where misstayk after mistakke woz made by both teams az they consistantly gave the baall away! 

Second half!

Aaron Ramsdale makes a great save to keep Bournemoooth oot!

Nick Waltermade threads a brilliant baall through to Harvey Barnes and he hits a sweet right footed shot past Petrovic at The Gallowgate End 1-0 to us!🤪

Sven Botman heeds the baall off bar from a Lewis Hall corner kick, but it boonces onto the groond and to safety

Bournemoooth equalise through a tap in from Scott who woz unmarked near the goal line! 1-1 🙈

Brooks puts The Cherry Pickers aheed with a  shot from edge of box!  2-1 to them! 🙈

We're enter the 5th minute of stoppage time at the end of the game and aall looks lost, but thiz IZ NUFC!   Sandro Tonali runs into the box and iz poleaxed by Petrovic and the ref points straight to the spot!

Anthony Gordon takes the penalty andput hiz shot to the left of Petrovic, who dives reet way but cannit stop the baall enterin the net 2-2 and 30 minutes extra time!🤪

2 minutes before the end of extra time Anthony Gordon crosses the baall and Harvey Barnes sends a brilliant heeder into the corner of the goal to win the game for NUFC!🤪

But hang on a minute!---We somehow manage to shoot worselz in the foot when Tavernier squezes a toe poke past Ramsdale and Botman in the 122nd minute to level things again and send the game into a penalty shootout!🙈

Penalty shootout:

NUFC take the forst one at The Leazes End and Anthony Gordon scores 1-0 to us!🤪

Tavernier scores form them 1-1🙈

Waltermade hits the bar with hiz effort  1-1🙈

Evanislson' shot saved by Ramsdale 1-1🤪

Bruno's weak shot iz saved by Petrovic 1-1🙈

Cook scores 2-1 to them!🙈

Tonali scores 2-2🤪

Jiminez shot saved by Ramsdale 2-2🤪

Joelinton scores 3-2 to us🤪

Senesi scores 3-3🙈

Hall scores 4-3 to us🤪

Hill scores 4-4🙈

Miley scores 5-4 to us 🤪

Truffert scores 5-5🙈

Barnes scores 6-5 to us🤪

Smith scores 6-6🙈

Thiaw scores 7-6 to us🤪

Diakite's shot iz saved by Ramsdale to win the match for NUFC 7-6!!!

🤪👍🏁🏆🥇

PITCH CELEBRATIONS AFTER THE PENALTY SHOOTOUT WIN!

Its nearly 3 hours since the game started, but we are in the 4th roond in more dramatic cercumstances!

Like we say!--Thiz IZ NUFC ---Wot the hell did yoo expect!?

Attendance: 51,563 (Just 700 Cherry 🍒 Pickers)

*

ANOTHER TRIBUTE TO KING KEVIN KEEGAN WHO HAZ BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER!— “GET WELL SOON KEV!”

THE TOON V THE CHERRY 🍒 PICKERS *** FA CUP 3rd ROOND

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Saturday 10th January 2026

ELATED TOON FANS LEAVE SJP ON WEDINZDAY AFTER WORK CRAZY 4-3 WIN V LEEEDZ!

NUFC play the 3rd of wor 4 home games in a row against Bournemoooth in the FA Cup at ‘3:00 🛎️ bells’ (Nee live telly for a change—unless yih got a dodgy fire 🔥 stick 🦯!

Fab Schar twisted hiz ankle against Leeedz on Wedinzday and iz expected to be oot for quite a while!

He iz added to the crocked list of Dan Burn, Jamaal Lascelles, Will Osula, Emil Krafth and last be not least, Anthony Elanga!

Playin 9 games in 1 month iz not ideal, but this iz the forst time ever that we have been involved in 4 different competitions in the month of January! (Premyaa Leegue, FA Cup, Leegue Cup and Champions Leegue!)

In the last 12 home games, we have won 10 and drawn 2 and are aiming for wor 11th win in that sequence!

There must be a winner today and if the scores are level at full time, 30 minutes extra time will be played, with a dreaded penalty shootout to follow if it’s still aall square!

A Geordie Times match report will be online sometime tomorrow az per usual! 

THE TOON 4 LEEEDZ 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted 'qwaataa past ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Thorzday 8th January 2025

“BARNES-STORMING!”

The greatest ever comeback in Premyaa Leegue history happened last neet at SJP, when The Toon had to come from behind THREE times to clinch an unbelievable 102nd minute winner from Harvey Barnes, which literally sent the crowd (and me!) into meltdoon!

A combination of good fortune, errors, bad refereeing, worldly goals, agony and extacy, were the order of the day!

The sequence of events were az follows (very deep breath!)

Pre kick off: An announcement ower the tannoy told us what most of us aalready knew that King Kevin Keegan woz bein treated for cancer!

THE SJP BIG SCREEN 

This brought a crowd response of very loud applause and the “There’s only one Kevin Keegan”, wonderland song, which woz sung repeatedly throughoot the match!

The goals, woodwork hits and penalty incidents etc:

32nd minute: Malik Thaiw slips and lets Leeedz through wor defence and Calvert-Lewin passes to Aaronson who hits a right footed shot past The Pope in The Toon goal from ootside the box at The Leazes End, to put them 1-0 up!

36th minute: Leeedz lead anly lasted 4 minutes when Waltemade flicks the baall to Harvey Barnes who hits a sweet left footer past Perri in the visitors goal at The Gallowgate End! 1-1

39th minute: From close range Lewis Miley hits the right hand post with a left footed shot, but the baall boonces to safety!

45 plus 2 minutes: NUFCs Malik Thaiw iz deemed to have handled the baall in the box and the ref points straight to the spot!

After a VAR check and much arguing aboot the decision from the Toon player the spot kick iz eventually taken by Calvert Lewin, who hits hiz shot into the centre of the goal!  2-1 to them! 

45 plus 6 minutes: Joelinton gans doon in the box, after a foul by a Leeedz defender,  but the ref says its simulation, az Joe gans 'off it' and iz booked for dissent! 

Az the ref blows for the end of the half the crowd gan mad ower the 2 penalty incidents and the officials are loudly booood az they walk of the pitch!  HT 2-1 to the referee!

54th minute: We're level again when Joelinton heeds the baall into the net at The Leazes End, from an excellent Bruno pass! 2-2

67th minute: This time its Leeedz who hit the frame of the goal with a heeder by Justin which hits the bar, after Toon goalie 'The Pope' completely misjudges a cross!

71st minute: Fab Schar suffers a very bad ankle injury near the touchline on the East Stand side of the pitch --and after a very lang delay, iz stretchered off!

79th minute: Leeedz retake the lead for the 3rd time when sub Yoane Wissa misjudges a pass and lets Aaronson in to hit a shot from the edge of the box, which gans in off the far post! 3-2  to them!

90th minute: The 4th official puts up TEN minutes of stoppage time due mainly to the injury to Schar!

90 plus 1 minute: Leeedz concede a penalty when Lewis Miley stops the baall gannin oot of play near the corner flag and hiz cross iz handled by Aaronson, who iz deemed to be just inside the box!

Bruno convorts the penalty with a right footed shot into the right hand side of the goal! 3-3!

90 plus TWELVE minutes: An absolutleee incredible end to the game az Harvey Barnes turns in the box to send a shot into the left hand corner of the goal, with Perri unable to stop it!--The latest EVER goal in a Premyaa Leegue match! 4-3 to us!

MELTDOON TIME!

Storm Goretti iz aboot to hit the UK today--but BARNES-STORM woz forst!

90 plus 14 minutes: 2 minutes after the winnin goal the ref finally blows the whistle to end the game!

MORE MELTDOON TIME!

A game that none of those present will ever forget!

Attendance: 52,176 disbelievin fans, includin the 3,000 Tykes high up in The Leazes gods!

*The 3rd Premyaa Leegue win in a row lifts us up to 6th place in the table and just 2 points off The Liverbirds in 4th place! (We were 14th 2 weeks ago!)

*

THE TOON v LEEEDZ *** TOONEET

 Posted 'high noon bells' Wedinzday 7th January 2026

"ANYONE FOR CRICKET🏏 !?"

We gan again tooneet when we face the Tykes from Yorkshire in a '8:15 bells 🔔’ kick off for live telly! (It's on Sky Sports CRICKET beleeeve it or not? (Hence the top heedline!) (Wor game at Bornleee woz on Sky Sports TENNIS!)

NUFC are unbeaten in wor last 11 home games (9 wins, 2 draws) and another win would gan doon nicely!---Thank yoo very much!

Thiz iz the 2nd of 4 consecutive home games in 9 days az we heed into the 2nd week of January, with an FA Cup 3rd roond tie v Bournmoooth on Saturday and then a Leegue Cup semi final tie v Man Citih next Tuezday!

Leeedz away record this season iz even worse than worz, with just one solitary win at Wolves, who just happen to be wor next away opponents, sandwiched between 6 home games! (They are 16th with 22 points—7 behind us in 9th place)

In total we have played them 101 times, winning 40, drawing 22 and losing 39 times, so it’s neck and neck!

The injury list doezint look any better, with (deep breath!) Dan Burn, Anthony Elanga, Will Osula, Jamaal Lascelles and Emil Krafth still 'cattle trucked'!  While Jacob Murphy haz a hamstring injury and is doubtful!

Later in the month we play 2 Champions Leegue games v PSV at SJP and PSG in Paris, az well az Villa at SJP and The Liverbirds at Anfeeeld in the Premyaa Leegue!----'Hectic' iz the word!

A full Geordie Times match report on the Leeedz game will appear here sometime on Thorzday!  Az per usual, 👽 "Watch this space!" 🪐 

THE LEEGUE CUP WINNERS 2. THE FA CUP WINNERS 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted ‘qwaataa past high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Munday 5th January 2026 

“SUBDUED!”

This woz one of those games yoo will forget aboot in a couple of weeks and woz 2nd last on MOTD!

The timeline of events woz az follows! 

2nd minute: Yohane Wissa iz put clean through but hiz shot woz saved by the Pallis goalie Henderson! (Leazes End)

19th minute: Wissa iz clean through again, but this time he unselfishly passes to an unmarked Anthony Gordon who sidefoots the baall into the net!

After a lengthy VAR check the goal iz ruled fractionally offside!

43rd minute: Another goal iz chalked off, this time it’s Joelinton who fires a great shot passed Henderson, but he iz well offside!

HT 0-0  A subdued 1st half, on and off the pitch az yoo could sometimes hear the players shouting!

After a lethargic start to the 2nd half, NUFC finally make the breakthrough when a set piece finds Lewis Miley inside the box. The 19year old connects with the baall which bounces nicely for Bruno to heed home from close range at The Gallowgate End!

1-0 to us!

78th minute: We double wor lead when a mad scramble in the box finds the toe of Malik Thiaw, who fires 🔥 in from a yard oot!

2-0 to us!

86th minute: Harvey Barnes races through the Pallis defence and hiz cross finds Joe Willock who somehow manages to miss the goal altogether, az hiz shot gan just wide!

FT 2-0 to us!

This woz wor 9th win in 11 home games, with the other 2 draws!

We move up to 9th in the table and just 2 points behind Chelseee in 5th place----with the possibility of  another 3 points v Leeedz at SJP on Wedinzday neet!

Leeedz iz the  2nd of wor 9 games in January, which will define wor season! (Az Steady Eddie woz quoted az sayin!)

Attendance: 51,979 (Not quite a full hoose az Pallis anly brought 1,000 fans with huge gaps in the away section! ⬇️

*

THE TOON V THE PALLISS *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Saturday 3rd January 2026

NUFC gan into the new year with 4 consecutive home games in 9 days, in 3 different competitions!— In total we have a crazy NINE games aall told in January, includin 2 Champions Leegue games v PSV (home) and PSG (away)

Forst up iz a Premyaa Leegue game v Cry😭stil Palliss at ‘3:00 🔔s’ tomorrow!

We are unbeaten in the last 10 home games, winnin 8 and drawin 2 —and 3 points would bring us within striking distance of the top 5 places!

It’s still aall to play for despite bein doon in 13th place in the table, az we type, after yesterday’s results! (Aall draws in the 4 games played, meanin that 8 teams have dropped 2 points each!)

Not sure of the team starting line up— All will be reveeeld tomorrow!

Match report on Munday

APU “Watch this space!”

THE BORNLEEE HILLBILLIES 1. THE TOON 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026⬇️

 Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ New Year’s day 2026

“MARTIN DUBRAVKA, HE’S ONE OF OUR OWN!”

It took a grand total of 66 seconds for NUFC to open the scorin at Turf Moor, when Anthony Gordon ran doon the wing and after outwitting a Bornleee defender sent a cross in and Joelinton woz on hand to stick hiz foot oot and divert the baall into the the far corner of the net, to give former Toon keeper Martin Dubravka ‘nee chance’ to put us 1-0 up! (The earliest Prem goal that Bornleee have conceded!— according to the BBC!)

It didn’t take lang to double wor lead, when a scramble in the box fell to Yoane Wissa, who’s forst shot ricocheted off a Hillbillies defender and back to wor number 9!

And he made nee misstayk with hiz second shot az it went ower the goal line to put us 2-0 aheed—and coastin’— Whey thiz IZ NUFC and we took the foot off the gas and let Bornleee back into the game, and they missed chances!

However!— the inevitable then happened, when they pulled one back when Laurent hit a volley from inside the box, to beat The Pope in the Toon goal in the 23rd minute! 

The nerves were jangling and then Fab Schar cleared a shot off the line, to huge relief from the Toon Travellers!  HT 2-1 to us!

The half time trek to the ‘tool-shed’ for a ‘gypsys kiss’, woz chaotic to say the least! It took 20 minutes to fight through the absolutely rammed away concourse to get there and back to mee seat!—So lang in fact that as missed the kick off in the 2nd half!—One ‘tool-shed’ for 2,300 travellin fans!—Total shit! 💩(excuse the pun!) ⬇️

The sign on the waall points the way to the ‘tool-shed’. It didn’t say that it would take me 20 minutes to get there and back!

The second half woz nee better with the home side gannin close a few times, but thanx to The Pope, he denied them an equaliser!

The one effort he could dee nowt aboot, woz the one that hit the bar from a heeder by Laurent, but thankfully it rebounded to safety!

We had chances az well, notably when Malick Thiaw had a goalbound effort cleared off the line—and then inexplicably an unmarked Jacob Murphy somehow skied the baall from close range az we tore wor hair oot from the roots in frustration!

However, wor ‘hero of the day’ torned oot to be wor ex keeper Martin Dubravka, who raced oot of hiz box to clear a loose baall—but a mix up with one of hiz defenders let in Bruno, who coolly lobbed the baall into the gapping unmanned goal, deep into stoppage time, to send the 2,300 away fans behind that goal, into raptures!  ⬇️

TOON FANS AND PLAYERS CELEBRATE BRUNO’S GOAL TO SEAL THE VICTORY!

This prompted the Toon fans to cruelly sing: “Martin Dubravka, he’s one of  our own!”. 

FT 3-1 to us!

Attendance: 21,020 (2,300 Toon fans!)

*The pre and post match ‘gargels’ took place in Bornleee toon centre!⬇️🍺🍺🍺⬇️ 3 BOOZERS ⬇️

WE’RE NOT SAYIN THAT THE HILLBILLIES OF BORNLEEE ARE NOT INTELLIGENT, BUT THESE NOTICES WERE ON THE WAALL OF THE BOOZER BELOW!

⬇️

                                        🠟

2 adjoining streets in the centre of Bornleee⬇️ “Howe-way the lads!”

“MARMALADE SARNIES AND AALL THAT!”

A hotel room somewhere in Bornleee!

One of wor number who shall remain nameless caalled ‘Sarnie Steve’ came well prepared!

 In hiz owerneet case, az well az a change of clothes etc, he had orange juice, a bottle of Worcester sauce, a bowl for hiz rice crispies, milk and marmalade sarnies  for his brekkies in the mornin, az it woz ‘room only’ at the hotel we were in next to the M65 Lancashire motorway and nee nearby eateries!

Paddington bear hazzint got a look in! 🐻