NUFC NEW SHIRT SPONSOR REVEEELED!

 PPosted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔 Thorzday 4th Joon 2026

“GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!”

Above iz wor new shirt sponsor for the forthcoming season!

Divvint forget?***Yi read it forst in The Geordie Times and neewhere else!

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE?⬇️

NUFC NEW SHIRT SPONSOR TO BE REVEEELED TOMORROW IN THE GEORDIE TIMES!

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Wedinzday 3rd Joon 2026

“GEORDIE TIMES EXCLUUUSIVE!”

NUFCs new shirt sponsor will be reveeeled tomorrow at ‘High noon 🕛 bells’! 🔔 

The SELA contract haz run its course and the sweetener iz that a lucrative new sponsor takes ower very very soon!

Make sure yoo log in tomorrow at the appointed time to find oot just who it iz!

SPECIAL K. A TOON LEGEND!

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Tuezday 2nd Joon 2026

The news that former player and legendary manager Kevin Keegan haz stage 4 stomach cancer haz reached us!

This iz very sad news indeed and we wish Kevin ‘aall the very best’ in hiz treatment, which, he sez, “Is going well!”

The futbaall we played under hiz management woz breathtakin’ and NUFC were caalled ‘The Entertainers’ when he woz in charge!

He will not be forgotten by us who saw him play and manage wor great club!

We are aall ‘with you’ Kevin in this difficult time! 🙏🏻 

🎶SING YOUR HEARTS 💕 OOT FOR THE LADS!🎵

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔Sunday 31st May 2026 

“IT’S THERE IN BLACK N WHITE!”!” (Black section at the back of The Leazes End, the away enclosure—White section the retorn of the NUFC signin corner!)

News reaches us through ‘The Geordie Times’ ‘fly by night’ faithful reporter, ‘Secret Pigeon’ (3 days late!) that there iz to be the retorn of a 1,741 singin’ section, reet next to the away fans, in Level 7 of The Leazes/Milburn Stand corner next season, after an absence of 15 years, when The Fat Controller (Ashley) woz wor owner!

“THE LEAZES END SINGIN’ SECTION IZ TO RETORN NEXT SEASON — COO! COO!”

It woz disbanded because he woz upset that they kept caallin him “A fat Cockney bastard!”  (He woz born in the west Midlands, by the way!)

There’s nee two ways aboot it!— To have a Toon safe standin’ singin section reet next to the away fans, will definitely improve the atmosphere on match days, which haz been ‘flat’ recently!

Aall we need now iz some half decent players on the pitch, which will help enormously of course!

GORDON GANS TO THE CATA-LANS!

 Posted ‘high noon bells’ 🔔 Saturday 30th May 2026

Anthony Gordon haz signed for Barcelona for nearly £70 million!—He haz signed a 5 year deal, az hiz new shirt indicates!

We at The Geordie Times Fink that this iz a very good deal indeed!

Meanwhile Kieran Trippier iz off to Wolves on a free transfor!— This iz a very astute signin for them!

Hopefully the money we have got for Gordon will be spent wisely this time, unlike last pre season’s disastrous signings!

We live in hope! 🙏🏻 

MURRAY-MINT! NEW GROOND!—NEW GROOND!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Thorzday 14th May 2026  Updated Thorzday 28th May

🔥 “LIFES A GAS!” 🔥 

NUFC WILL be playin at Murrayfield in Scotland v Everton on Wedinzday 12th August az we predicted below! (5:15 🔔s)

A new groond for The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers! 🤪👍🏁 🏟️ 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 ⬇️

Unfortunately the ticket prices are ridiculous and nee concessions for zimmerframeites (oldies!) ⬇️

Posted 2 weeks ago ⬇️

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' may have a new groond to add to the never endin list, az Murrayfield Rugby Groond in Edinburgh haz been mooted for a pre season friendly between The Toon and The Toffee Noses of Everton, sometime in August!

Thiz ISNT 'cast in stone' at the minute, but we can anly hope that its true and that we get to play in this iconic Scottish 67,000 plus seater stadium!--- This would be 'MINT'!

A friendly in Spain haz been mentioned az well, v Valencia perhaps? az wor pre season trainin camp iz just alang the coast from there!

A home friendly v AS Roma iz aalso said to be in the pipeline, before next season starts in late August, due to the World Cup in the Americas!

The Geordie Times will of course post the news az it happens---or 2 days late in wor case!

THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE 2 THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted from ‘high noon 🕛 bells’ 🔔 onwards, Tuezday 26th May 2026   (PS: This should have went online at 'high noon', but I forgot to press the 'post' button!) 🙈

“THE NUMBERS GAME!”

Az there were nee trains between Darlo and York, replaced by the dreaded road transport busses, we decided to drive to York and then catch the train to King’s Cross in London for wor last game of football season at Craven Cottage!

Az parkin next to York station iz difficult, we booked with ‘Just Park’ where you book a space on somebody’s drive for £9 a day!— And so, that’s what we did!

It woz a driveway a 10 minute walk from the station at 36 St Pauls Mews according to Google maps!

We got there at 8:30am bells 🔔 and there woz a car on the drive we had booked?  Aa brayed in the front door of the hoose for a good 5 minutes, but there woz nee answer?   Jimmy, who had booked the space woz aalready in London, havin travelled doon the day before! 

We rang him and he told us it woz hoose number 7, NOT number 36, which woz on the Google map he had sent me, but  the map showed a random number for the postcode, NOT the actual number 7! (Didnt naa that of course!)

We drove to number 7 and thankfully, the drive woz empty and we dumped mee canny tranny and heeded for the station to catch the 9:30 🕤🔔s' train!

(Can you imagine the scenario if the drive of number 36 HAD been empty and I’d parked mee tranny there!— The bloke comes home in hiz car and sees a blue transit van on hiz driveway!— He wouldn’t be too happy, would he!?— The mind boggles!)

Anyway!—-enough of that!

We caught the train to London and then onwards on the tube to Pudsey (Sorry, Putney,) (cheers to Jimmy for spotting mee dillibrit misstayk🖕) which iz on the opposite side of the river Thames to Fulim’s groond, for some liquid lubrications!  It woz boiling hot, with the temperature aboot 30 degrees!

After visiting 3 boozers it woz time to heed for the match and that’s when the really bad news started!

The Toon players didn’t look interested and of course some of them were heedin for The World Cup in America a few days later AND SO they wouldn’t want to get injured in a game with nothin ridin on it az we couldn’t get a European place OR be relegated of course!

We simply couldn’t get ‘oot of the blocks, with misplaced passes and lost possession!

It woz awful to watch and sure enough Fulim took the lead in the 20th minute when Kevin hit a free kick off from just ootside box, which hit the crossbar. THe baall rebounded to |Diop, who had the simple task of heedin the baall into an empty net! 1-0 to them!

It woz SO hot that 2 waterbreaks were taken in the first half, az the ‘current bun’ ☀️ shone brightly in the clear blue sky!

We simply couldnt get shots on target az we sauntered through the half!

HT 1-0 to them!

We attacked the end where the 2,700 or so Toon fans were housed, in the 2nd period, but it made not one iota of difference, where shots on goal were a novelty az far az we were conserned!

LAZIN ON A SUNNY AFTERNOOON--WELL THE TOON PLAYERS CERTAINLY DID!

VIEW FROM ROW HH, SEAT 97, WHICH HAD NEE NUMBER ON THE SEAT! ⬇️

Sure enough in the 80th minute The Cottage Pie Mob doubled their lead when Cairney hit a piledriver shot from distance, which had The Pope in the NUFC goal well beaten and unable to get anywhere near it!

2-0 to them!

The temperature had risen and mee mobile ‘telling bone’ 📱 said it woz now 33 degrees!—An unprecedented 3 waterbreaks were taken in this half, because of this!

There woz nee way back after their 2nd goal and after 5 minutes of stoppage time the ref blew to end wor 58 games season and to end wor agony! 

Wor away scoring record this season in the Premyaa Leegue iz abysmal— scorin just 17 goals in 19 games— that’s less than a goal a game on average!

We finished 12th in the table! Thank God this crap season iz ower!

Just how Eddie Howe can survive this, iz anybodys guess!---There's one thing for certain, the PIF will not be happy with a place in the bottom half of the Premyaa Leegue table!

Something haz got to change, or else we will be in a relegation battle next season, playin' like that!

News that the team doon the road had qualified for Europe, just made the situation even more unbearable!---Who would be a Toon fan!?

Roll on next season— but not until we’ve had a good rest to recover!

Attendance: 27,442 (2,701 very despondant Toon fans!)

THE CRAVEN COTTAGE

IF YOU'RE WONDERIN' WHY WE CAALL THEM 'THE COTTAGE PIE BRIGADE', 

WELL HERE'S THE ANSWER!

Pub crawl pix 4 new ones visited

Bringing the total for season 2025-2026 to record breaking 167 different drinkin dens!

This total will probably never be beaten!

IT SHUD BE NOTED THAT IN THE LAST DRINKIN DEN ⮝ AH JUST HAD A PINT OF WAATAA AND ICE, AZ AH HAD TO DRIVE YEM FROM YORK lATER ON---IN THE PREVIOUS 166 WAATERIN HOLES, AH DRANK PINTS OF BEER OR CIDER!

FULIM MATCH REPORT DELAY!

 Posted 12:17pm 🛎️ bells’ Munday 25th May 2026

“SPOT THE COTTAGE!?”

A match report on wor disastrous end of season game v The Cottage Pie Mob will not appear here til tomorrow at ‘high noon bells 🔔’

Sorry for the delay, but this IZ The Geordie Times after aall!

THE COTTAGE PIE 🥧 BRIGADE V THE TOON *** SUNDAY AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘high noon bells 🔔’ Saturday 23rd May 2026

THE NUFC MAD- SAD GROUNDHOPPERS 1st VISIT TO CRAVEN COTTAGE WOZ 48 YEARS AGO IN 1978   

A 3-1 WIN IN FRONT OF JUST 8,575, WHICH INCLUDED ABOOT 2,000 TOON FANS! (WOR GOALS WERE SCORED BY ALAN SHOULDER, JOHN CONNOLLY AND PETER WITHE!)

Wor last game of a very exhausting 58 game season in the UK, France, Belgium, Jawmany, Spain and Azerbaijan, comes to a close at Craven Cottage (Hence The Cottage Pie Brigade!) when we take on Fulim! (And The Geordie Times haz been to each and every one of them, with match and boozer reports!)

NUFC have an allocation of 2,701 tickets in The Putney End (see map and groond photo below)⬇️

THE GEORDIE TIMES ENTOURAGE WILL BE IN BLOCK P5, ROW HH

Just wot the line up will be iz anybodys guess?  But Lewis Miley, Joelinton, Emil Krafth, Fab Schar and Tino Livramento are definitely oot!

The highest The Toon can finish iz 9th top, which, despite wot fans are sayin, iz NOT good enough to qualify for a European place!—Not even The UEFA Conference Leegue, where teams like Lincoln Red Imps of Gibralter and New Saints of The Welsh Leegue qualified for the knockoot stage this season!  Considering that the team from Gibralter average 100 for home games and New Saints arnt much better with 300 to 400 average gates!

This iz less than wot non leegue teams from Tyneside, like Blue Star, Heaton Stan or Dunston, normally get, for comparison!

Nee wonder Palace have made the final of thisMickey Mouse competition!— For with crowds? like that, it reely iz ‘Mickey Mouse’!

There are nee 🚂 train between Darlo and York on Sunday, with the dreaded replacement busses between those points!

SO! We are drivin to York to avoid the chaos and then get the train from York to King’s Cross and back!-  Not wot we wanted for the last game of the season!🥶

NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS POSSIBLE NEW GROOND *** MESTALLA, VALENCIA

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 🛎️ bells’Thorzday 21st August 2026

The Geordie Times haz it on good authority that a pre season game in Spain against Valencia at their iconic Mestalla Stadium haz been arranged for Tuezday August 11th!

This makes sense az NUFCs pre season trainin camp iz just doon the coast road in La Manga! (We have inside information!🤫)⬇️

“THE TOON HAVE ARRANGED A PRE SEASON FRIENDLY MATCH IN VALENCIA!” COO! COO!”

REMEMBER! You read this news in The Geordie Times forst!

If we’re wrang, then blame the gadgie at the training groond for spreading false news! (Az Donald Trump would say!)

Updated 4:03pm 🔔s’

PS: We have since hord that the friendly v Everton at Murrayfield Stadium in Edinburgh could take place a day later on Wedinzday 12th August!

So one of those dates must be wrang, az we surely wouldn’t play 2 friendlies in 2 days in different countries!—

Read into this az you will????🤔