LEEEDZ 4. THE TOON 1 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted. ‘2:18pm 🛎️ bells Tuezday 15th Septembaa 2026

“A BOB GELDOF MOMENT!”⬆️

TOON IN DARK BLUE STRIP

Last neet woz a reality check for certain az NUFC put in a forst half performance that absolutely 💩 for want of a better emoji!

We were SO disjointed and disorganised, while Leeedz were on fire! 🔥 

Lost possession , misplaced passes and completely outpaced by a dominant Leeedz side, produced wor worst 45 minutes for a very lang time and we were lucky to be just 3-0 doon az the holes in wor midfield and defence let the home sides run riot!— While wor powder puff attack produced nee shot on target in the forst period!

We dreaded the 2nd half az a cricket score woz on the cards, but thankfully they anly added one more, while we got a consulation goal in the 90th minute through sub Toure!

(4 shots on target this half includin the goal)

Of course the Leeedz fans ‘stuck the knife 🔪 in! “All that money are you’re fcuckin 💩!” they gleefully sang az the pointed towards us!

How right they were,unfortunately!

It woz just like watchin ‘Bruceball’ aall ower again, 5 years after he departed!

And heed coach Matty Jaissle’s 5 game unbeaten run had well and truly come to an end!

Attendance: 36,693 (2,960 thourilleee p*ssed off Toon fans)

AND wor next away game iz on a Munday neet az well, at winless Coventry! (So far!)

Wor misery wozzint ower however!

We’d parked the ‘canny tranny’ in a car park not far from the groond, where the cars were parked bumper to bumper!

A 4 by 4 in front us blocked wor way az the owner still hadn’t come back some 45 minutes after the game had ended!

We managed to get oot eventually az the car next to us departed! It woz a very tight squeeze, but we were oot!

‘Sarnie Steve’ said we should turn left at the end of the road, away from the city centre to avoid the inevitable traffic jam!

However the road woz bumper to bumper the other way az well and it took a further 30 minutes to get to the M62!  

We were flyin—but wait! — a sign said the M1 was closed between junction 46 to 48 and that the A1M woz aalso shut near Selby Fork—We opted for the M1

It took another 30 minutes to get through the jam and diversion on the Leeedz ring road and we joined the A1M at Wetherby—and we were flyin again!—But wait!

We had to drop ‘Jimmy the Riddler’ off at Houghton le Shit-hole on the way back BUT the Durham junction woz closed, so we had to drive on to Chester-le-Street and double back— an extra 20 minutes and 10 miles added to the jorney!

The final straw woz that The Redheugh Bridge roondaboot woz closed on the south side of the Tyne, so yet another diversion aroond Gatesheed toon centre, before we finally arrived at Geordie Times HQ, at ‘2am 🔔 bells’ some 4 hours and a bit after the match had ended!

A 90 miles jorney that actually clocked up 120 miles, which should have taken half the time!

It just wozzint wor day!—WOZ IT!🥶

THE PUB CRAWL consisted of 2 drinkin dens inside the groond. One in the fan park where booze woz dispensed from vending machines!—⬇️ 3 oot of 6 didn’t work!

And the other woz Howard’s Bar!⬇️

LEEEDZ V THE TOON *** TOONEET!

 Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Munday 14th Septembaa 2026

THE LAST TIME WE WERE THERE! A 0-0 DRAW LAST SEASON

We heed for west Yorkshire in a couple of hours, for wor Premyaa Leegue game v Leeedz at Elland Road, which iz an ‘8 🛎️s’ kick off! (Sky telly 📺!)

6 or 7? 🤔(not sure how many) of us are travelling doon in mee 9 seater canny tranny, az we cannit get back by 🚂 

NUFC are unbeaten in wor last 3 visits here and hopefully we can extend that tooneet! 

We expect, more or less the startin line up we had in the 2-2 draw against Bournemoooth at SJP at the beginning of the month!

We are undefeated in 5 Leegue and cup games so far this season! (Lang may it continue! 🙏🏻)

A full Geordie Times match and booze report will appear here sometime tomorrow!

Az per usual: “Watch this space!”

THE MORPETH HIGHWAYMEN 0. THE DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS 1 *** FA TROPHY

    Posted ‘3:33pm bells’ 🛎️ Sunday 13th Septembaa 2026

“DUNSTON BAD BLUE BOYS ROB THE HIGHWAYMEN!”                                            😵‍💫🔫🥶

With The Toon not playin Leedz til  Munday, aa had a blank weekend to fill in—and wot better way to start it, with a X14 bus trip from The Haymarket in The Toon to Morpeth for the Morpeth v Dunston cup tie at Craik Park!

It woz time for some much needed liquid lubrications when the bus arrived, so aa heeded for the bizarrely named ‘Electrical Wizard’ for the first ‘gargels’!

It woz then onward to ‘The Tap and Spile’ in Manchester Street, where aa met up with Dunston diehards Davy the Silver Fox and hiz sidekick Barbara!

“TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED!”

And then an unexpected twist!— A lad who I naa very well (unfortunately!) caalled Russ, who iz a massive Toon fan like me, walked through the door!— He’s not from Morpeth and not a fan of eethaa club, so hiz sudden appearance woz totally bizarre az he’s from Heaton in the east end of The Toon!

Morpeth iz 15 miles north of there!

Why woz he here? Woz he stalking me, or wot?⬇️

Anyway, it turned oot that he woz meeting a mate from Morpeth and woz gannin to the match az well!

After a few ‘tonsil ticklers’ there, it woz time to heed for the groond, which iz aboot 2 miles away in the middle of neewhere!

So a taxi woz booked to take us there—- and back, after the match!  A couple more ‘lubrications’ in the Morpeth clubhoose and it woz time to heed for the ‘3 🛎️s start!

A’d been here a few times before to watch NUFC reserves and Dunston, so it wozzint a new groond for us groundhoppers!

Morpeth wore black and yellow stripes, while Dunston wore their aall blue strip!

There woz a canny crowd of aboot *600-700  and a fair few from Dunston, including’The Dunston Ultras’ who are aged between 12 and 17. Hence— The Bad BLUE Boys’!🥶⬇️

‘The boys in blue’ started off the much better team az they attacked the right hand goal!

The huge fir tree opposite us in a forest were swayin in the wind— The Morpeth Mexican wave, perhaps!? ⬇️

It woz nearly half time and still nil-nil, so aa decided to heed back for the clubhouse to beat the queues at the bar —and of course Dunston scored in stoppage time, meanin I missed it!—typical!

An own goal az it turned oot by an unfortunate Morpeth defender, from a Ramsey cross!

To be honest it wozzint a very good game, which woz spoiled by the wind, but Dunston managed to haad on in the 2nd half til the final whistle, to progress to the next roond of the FA Trophy!

“WE WOZ HERE!-THE PROOF!”⬆️⬇️

* The crowd woz later given at 371. Looked at least twice az many?

NUFC FESTIVE FIX! 🌲

 Posted ‘5:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Friday  11th Septembaa  

We are not even halfway through Septembaa and aalready the Xmas and New Year telly fixture dates have been confirmed! Aall on Sky telly!⬇️

It’s just a pity that they cannit release the dates for wor fixture changes in Novembaa and orly Decembaa az well, so we can book trains and hotels etc!???🤔

Az NUFC have a blank weekend, coz we divvint play at Leeedz til Munday neet, ‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ are off to Morpeth in deepest Northumberland to see them play Dunston in The FA Trophy tomorrow to get wor fix ‘fix’! (If you see wot we meeen?

A match and Morpeth boozer report will appear here, probably on Sunday!

Ground 314 revisited. the new den, millwall

 Ground 314 (revisited)

1st Visit for a 1st team game

Date of Visit: 8th September 2026

The New Den, New Cross, London

Millwall 0

Newcastle United 1 (Joe Willock)

League Cup 3rd round

Attendance:14,698 (2,072 Toon fans, plus Arlo ‘The Football Dog’)⬇️

“WHERE THERE’S A WILL, THERE’S A WAY PAST ‘THE ‘WALL’!”

This woz in fact mee 2nd visit to The New Den, az a’d been here 12 years ago to watch NUFC U18s beat Millwaall U18s 3-1 in a Youth Cup game!

I had to leave before the end az wor 1st team were at Arsenal in an evening kick off, so to make the start we had to leave early!

So this would be the forst time that I would be able to see wor forst team here, for the full 90 minutes plus stoppage time ( and (God forsake!) penalties to decide the winner!

And to be honest, penalties looked nailed on az we huffed and puffed wor way through the game, playin in wor horrible lilac pink 3rd kit!

The forst half woz dreadful az we couldn’t break doon a Championship team who had 11 players oot through injury! (We had a very strong line up az well!)

I can remember just one shot on target and 2 corners by Jacob Murphy that looped ower the goal and oot for a goal kick!

The Millwaall fans are a different animal these days and are nee where az intimidating az they were when I visited The old Den back in 1978!

The lions are more like pussy cats these days—a far cry from 48 years ago!

But! they were loud at times, which made it a canny atmosphere, despite the .6,000 empty seats in the home sections!

We kicked towards ‘wor end’ in the 2nd period, but it made not a haypith of difference az the home side defended well!

And then the main moments of the game! Millwaall’s Arconte ran through on the right wing and cut in to send a ferocious shot against the near post, with Toon goalie Hornicek clipping the baall az it came off the post!

Luckily for us it rebounded to safety and straight away we were on the attack doon the left wing, where Pardo threaded a baall to Lewis Hall who swung in a cross to Joe Willock,who woz waitin near the far post and he flicked the baall with hiz left foot, to leave former Gatesheed keeper Marshall stranded, az it hit the back of the net in the 82nd minute!  This sent the 2,000 plus Toon fans behind that goal into meltdoon! 

Millwaall then flung every outfield player forward to try and find an equaliser, but thankfully it never came and after 5 minutes stoppage time the ref blew to end the game!

Definitely NOT one for the archives, but it keeps us unbeaten in the forst 5 games of the season!

The draw for the last 16 takes place on Wedinzday 16th Septembaa!

Pub crawl pix!⬇️ 6 in total!

🤪👍🏁🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺⬇️

ST PANCRAS

LONDON BRIDGE

⬆️⬇️

UNFORTUNATELY THERE WERE SMB CRESTS DISPLAYED IN THIS MICRO PUB—WE DRANK UP AND LEFT ASAP!  LONDON BRIDGE (Avoid at all costs!)

THIS TURNED OOT TO BE A GAY BAR! LONDON BRIDGE

LAST BOOZER BEFORE THE MATCH IN LONDON BRIDGE

CROYDON

TRAVELODGE BAR IN HOTEL IN CROYDON

“WE WOZ THERE!—-THE PROOF!”⬇️

AALL THOSE YEARS AGO! MILLWAALL AWAY 1978

 Posted 4:59pm bells' Munday 7th Septembaa 2026

Ben Drennen scores from the penalty spot to put wor youth team 3-0 up 

at The New Den in 2014 (ground number 314)

48 years ago we heeded for New Cross in south London, when NUFC played Millwaall at the old Den!---🠟

And here we are aall these years later, gannin to the New Den to watch wor forst team for the forst time tomorrow neet!

NUFC have been allocated just ower 2,000 tickets

'The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers' HAVE been to The New Den before--to watch wor youth team play Millwaall's youth team in 2014-- before wor forst team game at Arsenal later on that day! (Wor youth team won 3-1 but unfortunatly we had to leave before the end to get to the Arsenal game for kick off time (We didnt! and missed the forst couple of minutes!)---ground '314 The New Den' in the archive section! 

"WE WOZ THERE!---THE PROOF!"

A match report from the 1978 game iz below this article! 

"Where's Jack the Ripper?' (ground 045)

Footnote: A match and boozer report on tomorrow neets game will appear here sometime on Wedinzday

045 the den millwall

(GROUND NUMBER 45)
Date of First Visit: 19th AUGUST 1978
THE DEN, NEW CROSS, LONDON

MILLWALL 2
NEWCASTLE UNITED 1 (David Barton)

(OLD) DIVISION TWO
ATTENDANCE: 12,105 (2,000 Toon fans) (plus 3 daft c***s in the Millwaall end!)




"WHERE'S JACK THE RIPPER?"

Somewhere doon 'Cold Blow Lane'!

This was Newcastle's forst game back in the aad Second Division since 1965 after relegation from the top flight in May, and a more intimidatin' place tih gan for wor return tih 'the abyss' is hard to imagine!.
 
Both Millwaall and the Toon had hard core hooligans (Millwaall still dee of course!) and the reputation of both sets of fans was notorious tih say the least!. Aall the taalk at the time was aboot what would happen when the rival fans met. The Toon fans had aalready caused mayhem in the Berwick Rangers 'friendly'? the week before (a trial run perhaps?) and the Millwaall radgies notoriety spoke for itself.

The Newcastle fans were really 'up for it', as the Friday midneet train tih Kings Cross departed from the 'Central', and one fan full of drink, who was shootin' his mouth off, made it clear just what he was gannih dee tih 'The 'F' Troop' and 'Harry The Dog' in particular (One of the Millwaall gangs and their leader!) .

By the time wi'd reached 'The Smoke', he'd just aboot sobered up, after sleepin' aall the way doon, but had completely changed his tune by nuw, when the realisation of what he was lettin' himself in for, finally dawned on him, and he was shakin' like a leaf! as the train pulled into Kings Cross. (This was at five in the mornin'!)

By midday he'd completely lost his bottle!, and decided not tih gan tih the match after aall, and telt everybody that 'as it was a hot sunny day', he was gannin 'on the drink' instead!.

Aboot an hour later, a dozen more fans decided it was safer tih get a 'sun tan' in Piccadilly than a 'tannin' in New Cross, (where Millwaall play) and said that THEY were'nt gannin' tih the match either!.

Ah could'nt believe it!, ah mean, what's the f*****' point of gannin aal the way tih London and not gan tih the match!?. ("bloody 'yellow bellied 'turncoats'"!)

This left meesel, Geoff from Nottingham and another fan, (who's name ah can't remember) tih mek wih own way tih The Den!. Wih did'nt have a clue how tih get there, so wih flagged a 'black cab' doon and telt the driver where we were gannin.
As soon as wih mentioned the 'M' word, he was off like a shot!. After several more fruitless attempts at gettin' a taxi tih gan there, ah asked a cabbie the 'deadly question'!: "Why the hell will neebody tek us
tih Millwaall"?.

He just looked at iz in amazement (as though he'd been asked tih gan tih Beirut!) and said in a thick Cockney accent, MILLWAWLL!?---yoo've gotta be jowkin' mayte!--- aa dawnt want ma f******mawtaah wrecked!"
(Translation: "MILLWALL!? ---you've got to be joking mate!, I don't want my f****** motor wrecked!")

Time was gettin' on, and there was nowt else for it but tih try and find wor way on the tube. Tih cut a lang story short, wih got completely lost!, and did'nt get tih New Cross Gate tube station 'til qwaata past three!, it was panic stations by nuw as wi'd aalready missed the kick off, so wih quickly asked the way tih the groond, and were pointed in the direction of some old railway bridges and a couple of 'Steptoe & Son' style scrapyards!.
The place looked a 'bit dodgy' tih say the least, as wih hurried alang the *labyrinth of 'easy tih get lost' Victorian cobbled streets, towards the roar of the crowd. (*aa divvint naa wot 'labyrinth' means---but it soonds good!)

The onimouslee named 'Cold Blow Lane', (which leads tih Millwaall's groond) even on a hot sunny day, is (definately) NOT! a place for the faint hearted!, and a feelin' of 'dread' suddenly came ower iz!, as aa could'nt help wonderin' if 'Jack The Ripper'! would suddenly jump oot from behind one of the railway arches brandishin' a meat cleaver!, or!---worse still!---wi'd be ambushed by a posse of 'F' Troop' radgies, and get brayed ower the heed with their infamous 'Millwaall bricks'. (a rolled up newspapers, knotted at the end tih form heavy clubs!)


But mee fears were unfounded, (for nuw at least!) and wih (finally) got tih The Den at 'half three bells', and ah asked the gadgie on the tornstile if this was the Newcastle end.
"Noocarsel?---Yeah mayte---straight in!", he said, so wih paid wor money and hurried in.

Wi'd aalready missed half an hour of the game, but at least nuw we were safe and soond in the Newcastle end.----ER!---WRANG!---The b*****d tornstile operator had sent wih into the f*****' MILLWAALL END instead!---and their fans were gannin mental!---hittin' the 'Dibbles' and tryin' tih tear the fence doon tih get at the Toon fans behind the far goal!.
Luckily for us, we were'nt wearin' any colours, so wih did a VERY! stupid thing, by tryin' tih get tih the 'Newcastle end' by waalkin' THROUGH! the Millwaall radgies, (not even the S.A.S. would be mad enough tih try this!)


Az 'Geoff from Nottingham' had more of a 'southern accent' than me and the otha lad, aa said tih him, that if anybody spoke tih us, HE! would dee the taalkin' and WE! would pretent tih be deef and dumb!
BUT!--- wih couldn't get past the fence as 'The Dibble',who had their truncheons drawn and snarlin' alsation dogs 'at the ready', had formed an impenetrable line to stop 'The 'F' Troop' radgies in their tracks and so wih decided that wih had nee choice but tih stay put in the Millwaall section of the groond.

We waalked tih the corner of the terraces tih try and keep oot the way, and as wih did the Toon scored, when David Barton met a Jim Pearson cross tih heed the baall past the Millwaall keeper!.

We were in two minds whether tih celebrate wor goal, but soon had second thoughts, when the Millwaall fans started gannin' 'off it' again, ---so!--- (wih sensibly!) kept wor mooths shut, as wih did'nt fancy bein' carried oot the groond in body bags!. (This was the forst time in mee life, that ah hadn't celebrated a Toon goal!)

Just after the goal the whistle went for half time, however wor lead did'nt last for lang, and 'The Lions' equalised seven minutes after the restart. A few minutes later Millwaall got their second and the Toon were deed and buried. (But thankfully, not us!)



There was more fightin' after the final whistle and a 'Dibblette' was hit by a brick thrown by a Millwaall fan, (a hoose brick, NOT! a Millwaall brick!) and as wih left the groond wih wisely decided tih keep a low profile on the journey back tih Central London as we were 'on our own' again as the Toon fans in 'the proper end' were locked in for a good hour after the game!. (ie: Act deef and dumb!---again!) (sign language at the ready!)


However!---wih got tih Piccadilly in 'one piece' and heeded for the pre-arranged meetin' point at 'Snows' (pub) where the 'yellow bellied turncoats' were drinkin'---And didn't we have a story tih tell THEM!----Wi'd been in the Millwaall end and (somehow!) got oot alive!

HOW MANY CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT!???




©Fink™ (the mad-sad gr☺undh☺pper!)

THE TOON 2. THE CHERRY PICKERS 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2026-2027

 Posted ‘high noon 🔔 bells’ Sunday 6th Septembaa 2026

A NEW BANNER FOR A NEW HEED COACH!

“THE BOURNEMOOOTH JINX!”

For want of  better word the first half woz a DISASTER in many ways and the sequence of events were az follows:

9th minute: Havin failed to have beaten The Cherry Pickers in wor last 4 Premyaa Leegue games at SJP, it looked az though this would stretch to 5 after wor visitors took an lead, which should have been disallowed for a foul on Anthony Elanga near the halfway line!

Truffert had fouled Elanga, but the ref waved 'play on'? A deflected shot looped into the box and Marcus Tavernier woz on hand to poke the baall under Hornicek in The Toon goal at The Gallowgate End!

Despite protests from the payers and the crowd, the goal stood and we were 1-0 doon!

35th minute: It got worse when Bournemoooth doubled their lead with a bizzare own goal!---Justin Kluivert hit the post and it hit Hornicek's heed and spun near to the crossbar and post angle--the spinnin baall hit Thaiw and ended up in the net! 2-0 to them!

Aalmost immediatly we pulled one back when Harvey Barnes hit an unstoppable shot into the top corner of the Leazes End goal, with their goalie well beaten! HT 2-1 to them!

It haz to be said that we lost possession and hit misplaced passes throughoot this half----totally shambolic! 

Aalso the ref gave free kicks for every challenge which frustrated the fans az the Elanga foul woz dismissed az a fair challenge! (Specsavers have got some canny deals this week Mr Jones!) 👓 

The 2nd half woz a bit better az we pressed for an equaliser and new boy Matias Fernandez- Pardo made an appearance in the 62nd minute to liven up the doom and gloom that had enveloped the stadium!

Bournemoooth time wasted with players gannin doon with fake injuries to run the clock doon, but another Toon sub--Jacob Ramsey, saved the day with an equaliser in the 88th minute! 

A Thaiw knockdoon fell nicely to wor number 41 and hit a pressision low shot into the net to the relief of the vast majority of the record SJP Premyaa Leegue crowd of 52,643 (500 new seats have been added in various parts of the groond! (Just 1,159 away fans)

Just 6 minutes of stoppage time woz added and the crap ref blew up to loud booos from the crowd, aimed at him and not the players!

Thats 5 home games in a row that we have failed to beat them in a Premyaa Leegue game----The Bournemoooth jinx continues!

And az for the referee--- 0 oot of 10!

*