“AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!”

Posted ‘2:29pm 🛎️ bells’ Tuezday 1st Septembaa 2026

“COME IN NUMBER 20!”⬆️

News reaches The Geordie Times that we have signed an out an out striker at last, with fantastic pace! (He can aalso fly doon the wing!)

21 year old Matias Fernandez-Padro iz a Belgian 🇧🇪 International and haz signed for a reported £51 million from French club Lille!

He flew into Toon airport last neet and completed hiz medical at wor trainin groond in Benton, next door to where wor U21s were losin 4-0 to Fulham U21s! (Match report later!)

This iz a fantastic transfer for NUFC and with 7 other major signings durin the summer transfer window, wor team will look completely different from last season!

                                             🤪👍🏁

“I’VE AALWAYS SAID THAT I WON’T BELIEVE THAT A PLAYER HAZ SIGNED FOR US, UNTIL HE IZ STANDING INSIDE SJP WITH A TOON SHIRT OR SCARF IN FRONT OF THE EAST STAND SIGN!”

*In other transfer news, Nick Waltemade haz joined Juventus on a season long loan for £3.5 million!

He tried hiz best, but hiz style of play doesn’t suite the Premyaa Leegue and he woz a panic buy in the last summer transfer window after the rat 🐀 deserted the ship!

We wish him well az he seems a canny lad and hopefully he will be a success in the Italian ‘Serie A’ Leegue!

SPURZY 0. THE TOON 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2026-2027

 Posted ‘3:03pm 🛎️ bells’ Sunday 30th August 2026

TOON PLAYERS CELEBRATE WITH THE FANS AFTER WISSA’S GOAL!

“ITS HAPPENIN' ⬆️AGAIN!”

Tottenham Hotspur Stadium iz a great hunting groond for NUFC, for in wor 8 visits here since wor 1st one in 2019 we have won 5 drawn 2 and lost 2 games!

Aalso this woz 3rd win in a row here! Happy days!

And it woz the torn of new manager Matt Jaissle to clam the win this time, with 2nd half goals from Anthony Elanga and Yoane Wissa to seal the 3 points and climb to 3rd top (for the time being, at least!)

We started off well and within the forst minute of the game Elanga went close, with a loopin effort that just went wide at the far end from us!

New goalie ‘Horny’ Hornicek made some excellent saves orly on the deny the home side!

It woz level at the break, but if we had had an out and out striker in the side, we surely would have been in the lead by then, az we attacked relentlessly, but with nee shots on target, you dont score goals!---do you?

The 2nd half torned oot to be a great half for us, and we took the lead in the 63rd minute when a fantastic lang range pass from new boy Nico 'Speedy' Gonzalez foond another new boy, Amar Dedic who heeded the baall doon in the box for Anthony Elanga to turn and shoot---His shot hit the far post and seemed to trickle ower the line, to send the 3,000 plus Toon faithful in the corner section into meltdown---and one kid hurled himself ower the row behind me and nearly knocked mee phone oot of me hand az aa tried to take a picture of the players celebrations! 1-0 to us!

THe 2nd goal wozzint lang in comin, when in the 72nd minute a Lewis Hall corner woz nodded doon by Nick Waltemade and Yoane Wissa acrobatically did an owerheed flick to double wor lead!

Thats the way it stayed az the stands emptied quickly, with fed up Sporz fans heedin for the exits!

Its NOT wot they expected after spendin ower £300 million on new players, includin, of course £100 million on Sandro Tonali, who woz bood by Toon fans everytime he touched the baall and woz jeered off when he woz substituted halfway though the 2nd half!

A great result, which dispels some of the doom and gloom that enveloped Tyneside just one month ago!

Attendance: 61,025 (3,038 very happy Toon fans!)

*There woz anly one boozer ⬆️on wor pub crawl this time, coz we went to London and back in a day!  By the time match finished at aroond aboot ‘7:30pm 🛎️s we anly had 90 minutes to get back to King’s Cross to catch the last train back yem at 9:03 🛎️s’

A near 2 mile walk to Tottenham Hale tube station and join a lang queue of mainly dejected Sporz fans!  We got back to KX at 8:25 bells 🔔’ which meant we had to heed straight for the train 🚂 and abandon any booze stops!

2 vodka and cokes ⬆️in first class woz the order of the day,  to while the 3 hour jorney back to Tyneside!

               “We woz there!—⬆️—-The prooof!”

SPURSY V THE TOON *** TEATIME

 PPosted ‘high noon 🕛 🛎️ bells’ Saturday 29th August 2026 on the train to King’s Cross from The Toon!

VIEW FROM THE AWAY SECTION AT SPURS

Wor forst of many trips to London begins today at ‘5:30 bells 🔔’ at The Tottenham Hotspur Stadium (Sky 📺)

The forst 2 competitive games have been very encouraging, scorin 5 goals in the process, but giving away daft free kicks and ppenalties, iz something we must sort oot!

Anyway! NUFC have sold wor allocation of 3,038 tickets in the usual away section! (See top photo)

A full Geordie Time match and boozer report will appear here later!

MEEENWHILE!

Dates for wor aaway games at Leedz haz been confirmed az Munday Septembaa 14th at ‘8:00 🔔s and wor Leegue Cup tie at Millwaall will be at Tuezday 8th Septembaa— the same day az the Palace v Smogmonster game which iz just 5 miles south of The Den— shud be an interesting jorney doon with the riot capital squad of Middlesbrough 🔥 joining us at Darlo and beyond!

(Don’t forget your stab proof vests—for BOTH fan bases!)

PS: The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers have been to the New Den before, to watch wor U18s v Millwaall U 18s in the FA Youth Cup (Wor 1st team have never played there before)

THE TOON 3. THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 2 *** LEEGUE CUP 2nd ROOND

 Posted ‘3:21pm 🛎️ bells’ Thorzday 27th August 2026

THE TOON V THE BAGGEEZ *** LEEGUE CUP 2nd ROOND

 Posted ‘high noon 🛎️ bells Wedinzday 226th August 2026

Quite a lot to get through today!

FROM SKY SPORTS NEWS YESTERDAY

Firstly we welcome 24 year old Spaniard Nico ‘Speedy’ Gonzalez from Man City for a reported £47 million plus £3 million add ons!

He will be wor 7th signing of the summer transfor window and one of the very best midfielders in The Premyaa Leegue!

Welcome to The Toon ‘Speedy’ (az we will no doubt caall him!)⬇️

Movin on to tooneet when we play Championship side West Brom in the Leegue Cup at SJP

We hear that they have sold just 2,000 of their allocation and so there will be quite a few empty seats in the away section!

Havvint got a clue just wot wor lineup will be come the ‘7:45bells kick off! (Sky)

Hopefully we can overcome them and be in the draw for the 3rd roond, which (like last season) will be fixed , so that the teams in Europe cannit play each other! (NUFC were one of the teams last season)

NUFC could draw anybody, but the anly teams left in the competition who we’ve never played away from home are Fleetwood and AFC Wimbledon!

FLEETWOOD BEAT SHREWSBURY 4-0 AT HOME

If we cannit get eethaa of them away, then a home draw would be preferable!

The draw takes place on Sky after the Preston v Evaaton game!

A full match report to follow tomorrow!

CARLISLE CITY 0. DUNSTON UTS 2 *** FA CUP PRELIMINARY ROUND

 Posted ‘6pm bells 🔔’ Tuezday 25th August 2026

Ground number 79 with Dunston

Gillford Park (Office Technology Stadium), Carlisle

Date of First Visit: 22nd August 2026

Carlisle City 0

Dunston UTS 2 (Ramsey, Shaw)

FA Cup preliminary round

Attendance: 195 (about 60 Dunston fans)

“ANOTHER ONE OFF THE LIST!”

AN OPTICAL ILLUSION *** THE FLOODLIGHT LOOKS AZ THOUGH IT’S HOLDIN THE CLOUD UP ABOVE THE MAIN STAND!

We let 'the train take the strain' for this one---The Tyne Valley line scenic route from The Toon to Carlisle, with much of the line runnin beside the river Tyne for many miles az the 2 carraige train criss crossed it aboot half a dozon times (It IZ a windy river) 

On arrival we made for a few boozers on the way to the groond, which iz on the southside of Carlisle city centre!

🠅

In total we did 4 and the last boozer, woz a private members club, but we decided to see if they would let us in!---They did az the 4 of us, namely, Davy the Silver Fox, hiz side kick Barbara, Tex Taylor and not so little old me doubled the number inside the club!

They aall need the money these days and can't afford to be choosy!

Moan U were on the telly v Hull and the good news woz that Hull were winnin 2-0 in the shock of the day!----We asked the barmaid if she could book us a taxi for '2:15 bells' to get us to the groond on time, (3 bellsKO) which woz 2 miles away!

She ordered one but it didnt torn up, so we frantically phoned an Uber and eventually we got to the groond 10 minutes before kick off!

The Sky Blue bar in the groond anly sorved cans and bottles, so (az yih dee) we put it in a plastic glass and took wor place up on the touchline opposite the main stand, which had stadin cover aaall the way alang!---The main seated stand straddled the halfway line and the end where the clubhoose woz, had a smaall seated stand behind the goal!

The other end woz a flat open walkway which woz uncovered!

A quite impressive for a Northern Leegue Club! 

The game kicked off az the old current bun shon doon on the action!

BUT WHERE ARE THEY?

The sky above woz blue which woz very appropriate az Carlisle City are known az 'The Sky Blues' because of their kit and they had the best chances orly on az they attacked the open end of the groond to wor right and it took Dunston, playin in their red change strip to get into gear!

They finally did and took the lead in the 41st minute at 'The Clubhoose End', when 'Ramma' Ramsey lobbed the Carlisle keeper to sent the 60 or so Dunston faithful into raptures, includin the 20 or so young Dunston Ultras who had hired their own coach! 

HT 1-0 to Dunston

A swift halftime can of John Smiths in the clubhoose and it woz time to heed back to the terraces, or in my case a seat at the back of the clubhoose stand!

Dunston were now into top gear and killed the game off in the 80th minute when a quick free kick foond Wil Shaw unmarked and he ran through to plant the baall beyond the Carlisle keeper at 'The Open End' to double the visitors lead and seal the victory to keep the Wembley dream alive!

We got a taxi back to the train station where the final liquid lubrications took place to celebrate the victory--and then homeward bound on the '7 bells' train back alang The Tyne Valley line!

AALL THE CLOCKS IN SCOTT & BRASSEY SHOWED THE WRANG TIME OF 6:50 BELLS

IT WOZ 5:25 BELLS' WHEN I TOOK THIS PHOTO

“430—ANOTHER SMAALL MILESTONE!”

Gillford Park woz mee 79th groond watchin Dunston in aall its various names, past and present: Dunston Federation Brewery FC, Dunston Federation FC and now Dunston UTS FC (after their sponsors UTS Engineering) Not bad for a part time Dunston fan, eh!

If you include NUFC groonds visited (381), then that total rises to 430 different groonds watchin both clubs! (30 groonds watchin both)---Who could possibly believe that could happen?---Certainly not me!

"WE WOZ THERE!---THE PROOF!"

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)

THE TOON 2. THE LIVERBIRDS 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2026-2027

 Posted ‘5:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Munday 24th August 2026

THE MOSAIC IN THE CENTRE CIRCLE IZ MADE UP OF 500 NUFC SHIRTS STITCHED TOGETHER, WHICH WERE LEFT BY FANS IN MEMORY OF SPECIAL ‘K’ (MIGHT BE OTHER CLUB SHIRTS AS WELL)

“KEEGAN TRIBUTES & PENALTY P*SS-TAKES!”

On a day of high emotions in honour of Kevin Keegan, this woz a game we should have won and deserved to win, but woz cruelty snatched away in the 9th minute of stoppage time, when a 50/50 challenge by Lewis Hall on Liverpool’s Munoz woz deemed enough to give the Mickey Mousers an undeserved penalty by the ref, who took a couple of seconds before pointing to the spot!

Szoboszaia took it and planted hiz shot into the corner of the Leazes net to pinch an undeserved point in front of the half empty visitors enclosure, az most had fcuked off by this point!

It had started off so well az we took the lead in the 4th minute at The Leazes End, when Will Osula played a great baall through to Anthony Elanga and he raced through to plant an unstoppable shot into the corner of the goal, to send the vast majority of the crowd into extacy!

The noise woz deafening, Az woz the booos for Isak’s 🐀 retorn and the crowd showed no mercy az he woz heckled every time he touched the baall!— The most vocal hatred for an ex Toon player,  I’ve ever heard in aall the years of followin NUFC from the 1960s to date!

We played very well in this half az we fought for every baall, and won the majority!  HT 1-0 to us!

The Liverbirds came oot for the 2nd half lookin for the equaliser—and it came 10 minutes into the half, Gakpo sent a precision shot past Hornicek in The Toon goal! 1-1

NUFC responded almost immediately when new manager Matt Jaissle sent Joe Willock and Jacob Ramsey on!

Yoanne Wissa sent a glorious through baall to Willock and he planted the baall into the corner of the net at The Gallowgate End, within TWO MINUTES of comin on!

Wissa then missed a great chance to seal the victory, when he woz clean through, but Allison in the Liverpool goal denied him in the 86th minute!

And then the dreaded stoppage time added minutes and heartbreak for the Toon players and fans alike in the 99th minute!

One minute less than Liverpool’s 100th minute winner here, last season!  FT 2-2

*Roy Keane, who iz hardly a NUFC lover, commented after the game, that there woz nee way it woz a penalty, az the 2 players simply collided in the box!

The King Kev tributes and displays were breathtaking and Wor Flags desorve a big mention for the tifo in The East Stand and black n white cards in the home sections and the red and white cards in the away section! 👏 👏 

THERE WERE 4 DEBUTANTS: HORNICEK, STEUR, DEDIC AND BAMBA WHO CAME ON AZ A SUB, PLUS WOR NEW MANAGER MATT JAISSLE

Attendance: 52,630 (3,200 Liverbirds) The capacity haz increased by 500 from last season and this woz the highest attendance at SJP since we played Bolton Wanderers in the FA Cup 50 years ago---The attendance that day woz 52,760

The Leazes End Companions club, ⬆️within hocklin distance of The East Stand reopened after it had been shut for ower a year, due to damage to the roof, from building work next door!  

Anly bottles and cans were available and it will be the same for the West Brom game on Wedinzday!

Draught beer will be available from the Bournemoooth game on Saturday 5th September, onwards!

Great to see it haz reopened, az we thought that it could be shut for good!

Nip in for a bottle or can on Wedinzday az the friendly bar staff await your retorn!

“The boys & girls are back in Toon!”

THE TOON V THE LIVERBIRDS *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 PPosted ‘high noon 🕛 🛎️ bells’ Saturday 22nd August 2026

What iz sure to be an emotional day with the passing of King Kev, it iz appropriate that the other club he woz idolised at, will be wor opponents at SJP!

A full tribute will take place, includin the away section, where letters spelling oot ‘KEEGAN’ in the red of Liverpool will be displayed!  Not sure what’s displayed in the home sections? 

It will be a really tough game against a team that will be challenging for the title, while we will have a number of debutants in wor side, includin wor new manager Matt Jaissle and hiz backroom staff!

A full match report will appear here some time on Munday!

Meeenwhile, az we type, we are in Carlisle to watch Carlisle City play wor fave non leegue team Dunston, in the FA Cup preliminary roond— On a groond we have never been tee before! Gillford Park Groond number 79 with Dunston!

A match report and pub crawl report will appear sometime in midweek!

Az per usual “Watch this space!”

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!

 Posted ‘5:00pm bells 🔔’ Thorzday 20th August 2026

THE PROPOSED NEW TRAININ COMPLEX WITH TOON AIRPORT AT THE TOP OF THE PICTURE!

News reaches us that NUFC are buying the  Woolsington Hall site near Toon airport are are to turn it into a world class state of the art trainin facility, for the first team, junior teams and lasses teams!

Work iz due to start in 2027 and should be ready for the 2029-2030 season!

This really IZ good news az rumours of the PIF ‘upping sticks’ because of the unfair financial fair play rules, in favour of the Cartel 6, have now been banished!

It will cost upwards of £190 million to build, so why would they dee that if they intended to leave?  Aalso, any money spent on this project WILL NOT be taken into accoont by PSR!

In other words they are in for the long term commitment to NUFC and hopefully news of the new or revampted stadium will be communicated in the not too distant future!

With aall the doom and gloom gannin aroond after key players departures, this does give us real hope that there IZ LIGHT 💡 at the end of the tunnel!

Updated Friday

Loan providers ‘SumUp’ have signed a trainin kit deal for aall the NUFC teams for a reported £15 million for a 3 year deal!

Coca Cola are said to be taking ower the sponsorship of ‘The Stack’ ootside SJP!