USG 0. TH TOON 4 *** CHAMPIONS LEEGUE GROUP STAGE MATCH TWO

 PPosted from ‘high noon 🛎️ bells’ Thorzday 2nd Octobaa 2025 on a train somewhere in Belgium! (So, sorry 4 eny misstayks on the bumpy trayn 🚂 ride!)

“BEER WE GO!” 🍻 🍻 

This woz undoubtedly wor best away European performance since we beat Royal Antwerp 5-0 in the 1990s in the UEFA Cup!  Aalso in Belgium!

The game woz played at Anderlecht’s Lotto Stadium az Union’s groond isn’t fit for purpose to stage big European games!

The goal sequences were az follows:

17th minute: Waltemade latches onto Tonali’s shot to deflected the baall past the Union keeper in front of The Toon Travellers! 1-0 to us!

Belgian booze woz allowed into the seated area and I got a beer shampoo when somebody hoyed it when we scored!

43rd minute: Elanga iz brought doon on the edge of the box and the rep points to the spot!  Up steps Anthony Gordon to send the keeper the wrang way to double wor lead! (More beer shampoo!) HT 2-0 to us!

64 th minute: Another penalty at the far end from us, this time for hand baall! Gordon steps up again and sends the baall to the right of their keeper, who dives the reet way this time, but the shot iz too powerful az it hits the back of the net! 3-0 to us!

Yet more beer shampoo ower mee heed!

80th minute: Sub Harvey Barnes completes the rout when he iz put through and hits a sweet shot to complete the rout!

For the 4th time in the match, we got well and truly ‘shampood’!

The win catapults NUFC up from 26th in the Champions Leegue table to 11th, which iz good enough for a play off place!

Attendance: 16,038 (Just ower 1,000 Toon fans!)(Some sneaked in!)

Benfica and Athletic Bilbao at SJP next in matches 3 and 4!  So we actually have a great chance to qualify for the knockoot stage, withoot the play offs!?

This brief report woz written on a train in Belgium and will be fully updated sometime on Friday when we get back! ((Includin bar crawl photos!)

A match report on wor U19s 2-0 defeat at USGs Joseph Marien Stadium, played in the afternoon before the main game, will appear sometime ower the weekend!

Az per usual “Watch this space intentleee!”

YOU NEED A MASTERS DEGREE TO BUY TICKETS THESE DAYS!

 Posted 'high noon bells' Tuezday 30th Septembaa 2025 (On the train to King’s Cross)

UNION SGs JOSEPH MARIEN STADIUM WHERE WOR U19s PLAY IN THE ORLY KICK OFF ***NEW GROOND! *** NEW GROOND!

NUFC play Union SG in Brussels tomorrow neet in The Champions Leegue —and az we type we are on the train 🚂 to King’s Cross (London) and then onwards ‘next door’ to St. Pancras to catch the Eurostar 🚆 train to Lille in France! We are stopping in a place caalled Kortrijk which iz near Lille , and just ower the border inside Belgium and aboot an hours train ride from Brussels (much cheaper than Brussels hotels and Brussels iz a shithole anyway!)

‘The NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers’ are takin in TWO games on Wedinzday—-Forstly to Union’s Joseph Marien Stadium to watch NUFC U19s take on Union U19s in the UEFA Youth Leegue and then onward 4 miles on the tram to Anderlecht FCs Lotto Park where the main event of the day takes place in The Champions Leegue Group stage! (Kick off times are just ower 5 hours apart!) ‘12.30 bells 🔔’ GMT (Geordie Meen Time!)  time and ‘5.45 bells’ 🔔 GMT,  (Belgium iz an hour aheed of us!)

BEEN HERE BEFORE ⬆️ TO WATCH ANDERLECHT V NUFC (1990s)

The reason that Union can’t host Champions Leegue games iz because their 9,400 capacity stadium isn’t deemed suitable!—Hence the switch to Brussels city rivals Anderlecht!

However!— there are nee issues aboot using their own stadium for lesser games, which iz great news for The Toonhoppers who have (somehow!) managed to get tickets for this U19s game!

Honestly, yi’d Fink it would be easy to get tickets for games like this, but it’s a minefield to negotiate Union’s website and purchase one!

1: You need to create an account!

2: You need a 10 figure password includin numbers, letters, and asterisks!

3 You need to photograph your passport with it in front of you IF you can find the Onfido option to verify that it’s YOU! (photos of your passport are NOT good enough!)

4 Then you need to download it to your wallet IF it will let you?

(I had to get help from somebody who iz clued up on these things— (Steev) and even he struggled to negotiate the hurdles to get a ticket!

BUT he did manage after 20 minutes tryin, to get my ticket onto my telling bone ➡️📱! (Horray!)

Cannot imagine that there will be many Toonhoppers at THAT game!

Honestly! it would be easier to buy a ticket for The Champions Leegue final than for this U19s game!

(Why do they make it so fcukin hard to buy a ticket for a minor game?)

To try and buy a ticket for the U19s game, gan to:

Ticketing@rusg.be

Best of luck!----Yi'll need it!

THE TOON 1. THE ARSE 2. *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 Posted ‘1.16pm 🛎️ bells’ Munday 29th Septembaa 2025

“NATURAL ⬆️ POSITION NONSENCE!”

Yet another stoppage time defeat for NUFC in the most agonising way against a cartel club!

Last time it woz a 10th minute stoppage time defeat v Livaapoool—and this time it’s a 7th minute stoppage time defeat by The Arse!

VAR has got a lot of answering to dee!  Nick Woltemade woz punched in the face in the forst half by Gabriel and (of course!) HE scored the arseholes winner deep into stoppage time, when he should have been red carded! 🟥 But (of course!) the ref and VAR completely missed it! ⬇️

And then in the 2nd half, VAR said that Gabriel's arm woz in a natural position when he handled the baall in the box, az he blocked Anthony Elanga's cross!  Az yoo can see by the top photo, it’s a stone wall penalty!  This happened just before the 8 minutes 2nd half extra time woz added, due to long treatment to Tino Livramento, who woz stretchered off in the 60th minute whith wot looked like a very bad injury! (Fingers crossed 🤞 that it izzint too bad!)

In the forst half a penalty woz awarded to The Arse when The Pope and Gyokerez collided in the penalty area!

Not anly a penalty, but wor goalie possibly gettin red carded az well! (again!)

VAR told the ref to look at the monitor and after a very lang look, he overturned hiz decision, sayin that Pope had got the baall forst, before the man! —-Relief!

The breakthrough had came in the 35th minute when Sandro Tonali crossed for Nick Waltemade to send a powerful heeder past Raya in the Arseholes goal at The Leazes End! ---This woz wor forst on target by the way!

1-0 to us!

Chances for Joelinton and Jacob Murphy in the 2nd half didnt come to fruitition <(we naa aall the big words!) and we paid the price az wor visitors pressed for an equaliser at The Leazes End!

After heroics by The Pope who saved many great shots, the Arse finally equalised in the 82nd minute when Toon ‘old boy’ Mikel Merino heeded the baall into the corner of the net from a set piece corner by Rice! 1-1   And then the Toon penalty incident! (see above!)

8 minutes of stoppage time woz added az The Arse pressed for a winner and it finally came in the 2nd last minute of added time when The Pope somehow missed the baall from a corner, az he did an 'air punch' and Gabriel (who shud have been sent off of course!) woz at hand to force the baall ower the line to break wor hearts again! 💔

The defeat leaves NUFC in 15th place with just one win in six Premyaa Leegue games!

Attendance: 52,199 (3,000 arrogant Arseholes az usual!)

Union SG are next up in Brussels in The Champions Leegue on Wedinzday----Its “aall go” az they say! 

THE TOON V THE ARSE *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted just after ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Saturday 27th Septembaa 2025

A BRILLIANT SKETCH OF SJP,  WITH THE HIGH LEVEL BRIDGE, THE ‘NEW’CASTLE AND ST. NIX CATHEDRAL!

NUFC gan into this game lookin for wor 2nd home win in The Premyaa Leegue when we take on ‘Cry Baby Arteta’s side at ‘4:30 🛎️ bells’ tomorrow! (Live on Sky)

It iz sure to be another great atmosphere and 3 points would lift us up the table!

We gan into this game lookin for wor 3rd win in a row ower The Arse!

Jacob Ramsey and Yoane Wissa are still crocked, while Fab Schar iz doubtful!— There iz a slight doubt wether Jacob Murphy will start az well!

Wor Saturday ‘fix’ this afternooon iz at Dunston, who take on Gainsborough Trinity in the FA Cup 3rd qualifying roond— just 2 hurdles from the 1st roond proper!

A full Geordie Times match report on The Arse game will appear here sometime on Munday—And then on Tuezday we are off to Belgium 🇧🇪 for wor Champions Leegue game v Union SG, which takes place on Wedinzday at Anderlecht FCs Lotto Park in Brussels!

More to follow on that later!

THE TOON 4. BRADFAAD CITY 1 *** LEEGUE CUP 3rd ROOND

Posted ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Thorzday 25th Septembaa 2025

Bradfaad are in the horrible light pink strip!

“BANTAM WAIT!”(104 years and coontin!) 🥊

Bradfaad haddint won at SJP for 103 years before this game—and their lang wait for a victory on Tyneside now stretches to at least 104 years after a comprehensive 4-1 win for The Toon!

With the backin of some 4,900 noisy ‘Bantams’ who filled the entire Leazes End top tier, they couldn’t dee anything to help their team az The Toon dominated from start to finish!

The goal sequences were az follows:

17th minute: The breakthrough came after NUFC dominated the opening proceedings when a Anthony Gordon shot at the Leazes End deflected nicely for Joelinton to fire the baall ower the line! 1-0 to us!

VIEW FROM THE MILBURN STAND BALCONY

19th minute: With wor Leegue one opponents aall at sea, we doubled wor lead 2 minutes later when a great through baall from Bruno foond Osula, who calmly hit a shot that went through their goalie’s legs to put us 2-0 up!

The Bradfaad fans tried to lift their team, but the class difference between the two sides woz just too much, az we went for number 3!

It didn’t happen in this half, but there were more goals to follow in the 2nd period!⬇️

75th minute: After dominating again az we attacked the Gallowgate goal the 3rd goal finally came when Bruno foond Joelinton who slotted the baall past Walker in the visitors goal! 3-0 to us!

79th minute: At last the Bradfaad faithful had sommik to cheer when a defensive misstayk let in Andy Cook (a boyhood Toon fan!) and he fired home with a shot that went in off the crossbar to give them a slim hope of a comeback!

87th minute: That ‘slim hope’ woz extinguished 8 minute later when Osula got hiz 2nd goal of the game, when Harvey Barnes crossed the baall from the byline —-and from point blank range Osula forced the baall ower the goal line to banish any hope of a comeback from The Bantams!

Excuse the boxing 🥊 pun, but the Bantam ‘wait’ for a win here extends to at least 104 years! ( Their last win at SJP woz in 1922!)

Attendance: 51,706 (4,900 Bantams who cheered their team throughout the game!) 👏 

We watched the draw for the 4th roond in The Bodega, dreading the though of a lang distance midweek away tie at the likes of Swansea or Brightin!

But thankfully we got lucky again!— A home tie against Sporz to be played near the end of Octobaa!

THE TOON V BRADFAAD CITY **** TOONEET!

 Posted ‘high noon 🕛 🛎️ bells’ Wedinzday 24th Septembaa 2025

Updated ‘10:27pm bells 🔔’

NUFC gan into toneet’s game with a staggering 20 games minimum between now and the new year! AND if we are successful tooneet and in the next roond, then anothaa 2 games will added to that list! 

And by coincidence we have played Bradfaad a total of 20 times at SJP in wor history—And their last win here woz 103 years ago in 1922!

Since then NUFC have won 10 in a row—the last time in 2000 when we beat them 2-1 in a Premyaa Leegue game, in front of a 50,470 crowd!

The total SJP record iz: Won16–Drawn 2–Lost 2

Like we say, with Bradfaad now in Leegue 1, there iz a real possibility it could be 22 games before January 1st, which iz just insane! (That’s a game every 4 days!)

And wot side will ‘Steady Eddie’ put oot tooneet at ‘7:45 🛎️s iz anybody’s guess az we defend The Leegue Cup trophy?🤔 (Fab Schar, Yoanne Wissa and Jacob Ramsey will take nee part coz of injury!)

Bradfaad have sold their entire allocation of 4,900 tickets, so it will be a canny atmosphere in the selloot 52,000 plus crowd come kick off time! 

If the scores are level after 90 minutes then penalties will decide it! (Nee 30 minutes extra time!)

Of course NUFC are odds on favourites to win (1/8) but az we naa from past experiences, it doesn’t aalways gan to plan!🥶

The draw for the 4th roond takes place after ‘10 🛎️s’ tooneet on Sky Sports

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here tomorrow—sometime!—-and we will bring yoo the Leegue Cup 4th roond draw az soon az we find oot! (Let’s hope we are in it and that we are at home again?)

Az per usual! “Watch this space!”

Updated ‘10:27 pm 🔔 s’

Leegue Cup 4th roond draw ⬇️

It’s Sporz at SJP!

🤪👍🏁🏆🥇

THE TOON U19s 2 BARCA U19s 3 *** UEFA YOUTH CUP GAME ONE

 Posted ‘3:34 pm 🔔 bells’ Tuezday 23rd Septembaa 2025

Forst of aall grovellin apologeeez for the late postin of this match report some 5 days late!---But this IZ The Geordie Times---wot did yoo expect?

With the main Champions Leegue game v Barcelona at SJP a few hours later, The Geordie Times decided to take in this U19s UEFA Youth Cup game at Whitley Park in Benton (North Tyneside) which kicked off at '3pm bells'

The forst port o call after gettin off the Metro at 4 Lane Ends woz The and then onwards to The Black Bull closer to the groond where 3 more of the crew were consumin vast amoonts of the goldon liquid variety! (Whey 2 pints each, anyway!)

It woz then time to heed to the match a 10 minute walk from 'The Bull', where digital tickets were the anly form of entry! (We were handed paper tickets after the digi checks)

THere woz a much larger crowd than what they normally get here (Average 250 for U21 games) and there looked to be gettin on for a thoosand present when the game kicked off!

"LIE DOON IF YI LUV THE TOON!!"

The sequence of the 5 goals were az follows on a hot summers day:

26th minute: Barca, the current UEFA U19 Champions take the lead when Gistau crossed the baall and Espart beat George Mair in The Toon goal to put Barca 1-0 up!

45th minute: Just az 3minutes stoppage time woz aboot to start, wor visitors doubled their lead, when an unmarked Gistau looped the baall into an empty net!--- 2-0 to them!  

45+3 minutes: It got even worse just 3 minutes later when Gistau intercepted a poor clearance from Mair and from 25 yards oot lobbed wor keeper to put the UEFA Champions 3-0 up! ---A cricket score looked on the cards at this point!

51st minute: The Toon pulled one back when a free kick on the edge of the penalty area woz laid on for Leo Shahar who hit a sweet shot into the corner of the goal! 3-1 to them!

81st minute: We pulled another one back through Kacey Wooster, who hit a low drive into the Barca net!---The unlikely come back woz on the cards!----Deep into stoppage time Sean Neave missed a glorious chance to level things when heeded agonisingly wide!---and that woz it!  A 3-2 defeat but not humiliated like we thought might happen at the end of the forst half!

Attendance: 657 (looked a lot more than that--like!?)

It woz then onward to The Haymarket station (in the city centre ) on the Metro, for some more liquid lubrications before the big boys game at 8 bells'!  (Scroll doon for a match report on that game, which again, we lost narrowly by 1 goal *** 2-1 this time!)

THE CHERRY 🍒 PICKERS 0. THE TOON 0 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2025-2026

 PPPosted just after ‘high noon 🕛 bells 🔔’ Munday 22nd Septembaa 2025 (Will be updated throughoot the day!)

“BLANKETY BLANK TIMES THREE!”

The games keep comin thick n fast with at least 2 games a week for us to gan tee! (Bradfaad City at SJP on Wedinzday, and then The Arse next Sunday, aalso at SJP— then Union SG away in Brussels (U19s in UEFA Youth Leegue and then the main game at Anderlecht FC)

Bournemoooth iz the longest trip of them aall in Ing-er-land at 750 miles roond trip which required an owerneet stay!

Aa took an owerneet bag, but when aa got to The Central (station) on Saturday, mee other 3 travellin companions just had carrier bags?

The reason bein, that straight after the match we would have to make a mad dash back to Bournemoooth station to catch the train back to Waterloo in London!

Apparently my bag woz too big to get into their groond and aa didn’t have time to gan back to the hotel after the game to pick it up, az it woz off route to the station, so the original plan woz to dump mee bag in a wheelie bin and collect it on the way back from the match!!!!(And hope the binmen divvint work Sundays!)

Aa ended up dropping it off at a bag drop shop for £6 near the station on the Sunday mornin before the match! (Wot a carry on!)

THE TOON ARE IN WOR CHANGE GREEN STRIP

Anyway! to the match, which woz yet another away bore 0-0 draw for the third successive time this season!

7 changes to the startin line up from the Barcelona game on Thorzday!

Woltemade led the line and the main incident of the game came in the 2nd half when wor giant number 27 had his shirt pulled back by a Bournemooth defender in the box , sendin him crashing to the floor BUT!— it didn’t even gan to VAR az the Toon fans howled for a penalty!

Thiaw woz lucky not to get hiz marchin orders, after upending a home player near the edge of the box az the Bournemoooth fans howled for him to be sent off!

VIEW FROM THE FRONT ROW

Apart from a goal for ‘The Cherry Pickers’, which woz ruled offside straight away, this woz yet anothaa game on the road to forget aboot! 0-0 at Villa—0-0 at Leeedz and now 0-0 here!  

In aall the years that av followed the Toon away, gannin way back to the 1960s, av never seen 3 scoreless away games in a row!

After the match it woz back to the station and we eventually got back to The Toon at ‘midneet bells 🔔’—Just too late to catch the last bus yem!🥶

“TAXEEE!” 👍 🚕 

 Footnote: We say The Cherry Pickers az Bourmoooth’s nickname iz The Cherries! 🍒 

Attendance: 11,202 (1,350 Toon fans in the sold oot away section!)

The neet before the game we stopped in a very spooky guesthouse! Hotel prices were through the roof, thanx to The Liberal Democrats conference and 3 hotels filled with illegal immigrants on the seafront!

THE LINCOLN HOUSE ‘HOTEL’? TWINNED WITH BATES MOTEL IN THE PSYCHO MOVIE!

We decided to walk to a boozer near the seafront using Google maps!

It led us onto a very dark narrow path where down and outs and scruffy lookin weirdos were drinkin’cans of beer!

There were a lot of foreign voices amongst them (Illegals) and one of wor group caalled Graham put hiz phone torch on to lead us through the darkness!

(NOT a wise move under the circumstances!) ⬇️

And then ‘sanctuary’, there woz light at the end of the dark tunnel and the drinkin den we were looking for woz reet in front of us!

We’d somehow made it withoot gettin mugged! ⬇️

It woz decided (wisely) to get a taxi to the next boozer! ⬇️

We stopped there for a while and there woz a band onstage playin some absolutely crap music! They had lights for eyes 👀 and looked absolutely ridiculous! ⬇️

I went back to the bar to order some more ‘liquid lubrications’ and one of the bar staff spotted mee Toon badge on mee T shirt! “Have you got a jacket?” he asked me! (strange question?) “Yes!” I replied!

“Can you put it on as there are NO football colours allowed!” (And this wasn’t even match day!)

I agreed and took absolutely nee notice of hiz demand, az I sat back doon in the packed bar!

“If he spots me, aa’ll drink up and move on!” aa telt mee mates! (He didnt)

Anyway! it woz dead late by this time and (wisely!) we walked on a well lit road back to wor digs for some much needed shuteye! 😴 

Next day we did 2 more boozers before the match ⬇️

THE CRICKETERS

Then it woz time to heed for the groond for the ‘2 bells 🔔 kick off!

(See match report above! ⬆️)

When we got back to London post match we went to a favourite haunt near St Pancras station before catching the train back to Tyneside!⬇️ (Betjeman Arms)

In total 5 boozers were visited (4 new ones never previously visited) bringing the seasons total to 19 different boozers visited!

THE CHERRY PICKERS V THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘6:00pm 🛎️ bells’ Saturday 20th Septembaa 2025 on the train from Waterloo (London) to Bournemoooth!

LAST SEASON AT THE VITALITY DREW 1-1

We are on wor way to Bournemoooth az we speak for this Sunday ‘2 bells’ 🔔 kick off! 🚂 

At a roond trip of 750 miles makes it the longest in the Premyaa Leegue!

We divvint naa which team will run oot, but we can anly hope that Nick Waltemade iz in the startin line up?

However Fab Schar will be missing for a few games after sufferin a heed injury against Barcelona!

With wor new 9 Wissa who haz yet to play a game for us, still crocked, we invisage that Woltemade will lead the line, with Anthony Gordon servin the last of hiz 3 games suspension for hiz sendin off v Livaapoool!

It’s certainly been tough withoot a proven striker for the 5th game in a row!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here, eethaa on the train 🚂 back from Bournemoooth on SundayOR on Munday at ‘high noon bells 🔔’

Az per usual: “Watch this space!”

THE TOON 1. BARCELONA 2 *** CHAMPIONS LEEGUE GROUP STAGE GAME ONE

 Posted ‘3:00pm 🔔s Friday 19th Septembaa 2025

“7 MORE CHANCES TO QUALIFY!”

This woz the best atmosphere since we played PSG in the Champions Leegue 2 seasons ago and the groond woz rockin’ come kick off time!

Thiz woz NUFCs 154th European game in wor history (This includes the 13 we have played in the Anglo Italian Cup)

On a personal note, I have seen every home game since the first one in 1968 v Feyenoord and this woz mee 120th European game in a row, home and away since 1977—Includin 6 in the Anglo Italian Cup 

The Wor Flags display woz brilliant (see above video) az the teams ran oot to Thunderstruck by AC/DC, Blaydon Races and The Champions Leegue theme tune!---MAGIC!

Barcelona are one of the favourites to win the competition, whereas NUFCs chances, realistaclly are the knockoot stages at best!

Suprizingleee! new record signin’ Nick Woltemade woz not in the startin line up, but woz one of the substitutes az Anthony Gordon led the line! (A 'Rash' decision by Eddie?---read on!)

We attacked the Leazes End in the forst half, where just 800 Barcelona fans were perched in the corner, high up in the Gods! ⬇️

We held wor own and every pass and block woz cheered by the crowd, most of them ‘on the drink’ aalday!

Anly one really good chance fell to us when Elanga crossed for Harvey Barnes, who fired a shot which Garcia in the Barca goal managed to parry away!

Az the half continued Barca started to dominate, but heroic defendin thwarted them and we went in 0-0 at the break!

In the second period we again tried in vain to make the breakthrough, but 'alas' it came at the Leazes End, when Moan U reject Marcus Rashford heeded home in the 51st minute! 1-0 to them

Just after this Steady Eddie made 4 subsitutions, includin Woltemade (Thiaw, Willock and Jacob Murphy were the others!) 

But I couldnt help 'Fink'in that it woz indeed a 'Rash' decision not to play wor giant number 27 from the start, and not wait til we were a goal behind!?)

Just 9 minutes later Rashford scored with a stunnin shot which beat The Pope in The Toon goal!---Game ower, perhaps? 2-0 to them!

The crowd didnt desert wor team and roared them on at every oppotunity and on the 90th minute Anthony Gordon scored from close in at The Gallowgate End from a Jacob Murphy cross, to give us a faint hope of an equaliser!---Sadly it wozzint to be and we ended up pointless but not disgraced!

Under the old rules this game would have been ower 2 legs and the very real possibility on exitin the competition!

But under this format we still have 7 chances to try and finish at least in the top 24 oot of 36 to reach the play offs!

NUFC are in 26th position after one roond of games!

Union SG of Belgium away next month in Brussels!---We can dee it!

Attendance: 52,084 (Like we say just 800 Barca fans)

Before this game we took in wor U19s game v Barcelona U19s in the UEFA Youth Leegue!---lost 3-2 at Blue Flames in Benton (aka Whitley Park)---A match report on that game much later!