THE TOON 2 THE TIGERS OF HULL 0 *** BCD FRIENDLY!

Posted '10:36am bells' Sunday 14th Joon 2020

ACTION AT AN EMPTY SJP YESTERDAY!

Yesterday NUFC beat Hull City 2-0 in a friendly at St. James' Park behind closed doors! Lejeune and Saint-Maximin got the goals!

Ironically, I woz just 300yards from the groond near Eldon Square and Grey's Monument watchin the protests az the game took place!

MEEENWILE! 300YARDS AWAY FROM SJP

A PACKED CROWD!

We agree with the people who defended Grey's Monument from attacks, az well az the war memorial in Eldon Square!

However, we dont agree with the violence between rival groups later on when the peaceful protests were 'hijacked'!

Response from a Toon fan who iz an old friend, 'Pete the Greek' (he used to live in Greece): He disagrees with 'The Geordie Times' and says we were on 'the wrong side' in the protests yesterday!

Wor answer iz: You cant have people gannin roond desicratin' statues, monuments and war memorials coz THEY think they shouldn't be there!

THE 'TIMES' THEY ARE 'A' CHANGIN'! (HOPEFULLY BY NEXT FRIDAY!)

Posted '1:40pm bells' Saturday 13th Joon 2020

BORIS MEETS PRINCE BIN SALAM

Wor little sister paper and the respected 'Times of London' reports that in a leaked document the government are IN FAVOUR of the NUFC takeower, which is now into a painful 3rd month of scrutiny!

'The Times' says: "The UK government has made supportive noises in relation to the NUFC takeower!
It says that they support Saudi Arabia's diversification efforts under its vision for a 2030 strategy!"

"Saudi Arabia's investments through its PIF form part of these efforts! The PIF invests in many sectors internationally, with their potential stake in the ownership of Newcastle United part of this wider investment!"

Meeenwhile!---The report from The World Trade Organisation (WTO) iz to be published this Tuesday 16th Joon on the piracy issues----so we predict that we will finally (finally!) naa the outcome of the takeower by Friday 19th Joon!---2 days before wor forst match v Sheff U at SJP under the restart project!

Lets hope (and pray!) that it will be done and dusted by next weekend!🙏   

EXPRESS EXASPERATION!

Posted '8:30pm bells' Wedinzday 10th Joon 2020

These two stories in The Daily Express were printed 12 hours apart!

For an explanation gan to:

confused.com!

CLAP FOR HEROES TOONEET!

Posted '6:25pm bells' Wedinzday 10th Joon 2020

NEE PUBS REOPENIN' THIS MONTH!

Posted '11:35am bells' Wedinzday 10th Joon 2020

Still nee news on the takeower after 9 lang weeks of waitin (or is it 10?---lost track of time!)

Meeenwhile we hear that Boris has said that boozers will NOT reopen til July 4th because of social distancing worries!

Pity Boris wasnt worried aboot the thoosands of people close together on beaches and protest marches! 
But futbaall and boozers can't let punters in because of the rules?

Again one rule for beach parties and demonstrations and anothaa rule for drinkers and futbaall fans!

Wot a farce!

NUFC X1 1 NUFC X1 1 *** FRIENDLY FIXTURE

Posted '11:08 am bells' Sunday 7th Joon 2020

     "Iz there anybody there?"

Yesterday afternooon at an  'unpacked' St. James' Park a Toon X1, dressed in wor 'black n white striped' home kit drew 1-1 with a Toon X1 dressed in wor 'Orangemen' away kit, in a behind closed doors game!

Wor £40 million man Joelinton scored the first goal  with a tap in on the goal line, playin for 'The Orangemen' at 'The Leazes End', while Bentaleb scored the equaliser playin for The 'Black n Whites' at 'The Gallowgate End', with a lang range effort!

With nee one there yoo could hear the players shouting to each other as their voices echoed aroond the empty seats!

We played this game to get used to playin in a  empty stadium, before we kick a baall in anger against Shefeeeld United in two weeks time, again at SJP!

Attendance: Not even one man and hiz dog!

IN THE YEAR 2525!

Posted '1:37am bells' Sunday 7th Joon 2020

505 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE!😴

Its takin' so lang to dee this takeower that aa can't even remember if its 8 or 9 weeks since it first appeared on Sky Sports news in March---or woz it April?😕

The way its gannin it will be approachin' the year 2525 when we  find oot if it actually WILL happen!?
Of course, we will aall be dead and buried in wor graves lang before then!

I can feel a song comin' on!

"AALTOGETHER NOW!"

🎵 In the year 25-25!
If man is still alive!
The Geordies will survive!

They may find!

In the year 35-10!
If the takeover happens!
It should happen by then!

But we'll be dead and buried in the ground!
St. James' will echo to the Geordie sound!
Oh!-Oh!-Oh!🎵
😴😴

"WE WANT WOR MONEY BACK!"

Posted '7:25pm bells' Friday 5th Joon 2020

"TIME TO DO 'A RUNNER' WITH THE SEASON TICKET MONEY!"

Despite not having a clue just when next season will start and just when fans can gan to games, NUFC continue to take direct debits from Toon fans!

Not anly that, but there iz nee word just when we will be refunded for the 5 home games we will miss because the rest of this seasons home games will be behind closed doors! (I've got FIVE season tickets---2 adults---3 grandkids)

If ever there woz a reason to get rid of 'The Fat Controller' once and for aall, then this one iz IT! and sums him up completely!

Hiz total contempt for us aall---IZ!-----contemptable!

PARANOID!

Posted '9:05pm bells' Tuesday 2nd Joon 2020

News reaches 'The Geordie Times' that the reason given for wor away Leegue game at Man City bein moved to a neutral venue, iz because it iz deemed az a 'high risk' game?

The Premyaa Leegue and Greater Manchester 'Dibble' have said that they fear that there will be mass protests against The Saudis, when we divvint even naa that the takeower will be done and dusted by the time we play there!?

If that's the case, then neutral venues will have to be used for EVERY one of wor away game behind closed doors!

And anothaa thing, does this meen that every HOME game will have to be moved to a neutral venue as well?
AND! If they do do this, just how would they stop alleged protesters turning up at the NEUTRAL venues as well?

Heavy rock group 'Black Sabbath' have an iconic record caalled 'PARANOID'---Perfect listening for the Premyaa Leegue hieracy and the Manchester constabulary!

ITS OK FOR SUN WORSHIPERS***BUT NOT FUTBAALL FANS!"

Posted '7:55am bells' Munday 1st Joon 2020 at Ferrybridge A1

The government and 'Dibble' have warned futbaall fans not to gan anywhere near futbaall stadiums and adhere to social distancing measures or face arrest!

Meanwhile if yoo are a sun bather it iz perfectly aallreet to gather in large groups on beaches and paths, ignoring social distance measures, with nee fear of arrest!

Yet anothaa case of one rule for 'us' and anothaa rule for everybody else!

Now where have hord that before? Barnard Castle perhaps!

2 stories on 2 pages

In The Daily Express!