THE ARSE v THE TOON **** SATURDAY NEET!?

Posted 'highnoon bells' Friday 23rd February 2024

ACTION FROM LAST SEASON *** A 0-0 DRAW!

We are off once again to 'the smoke' (London) tomorrow for a ridiculous '8:00pm bells' Saturday start, for the benefit of the couch potatoes and pub plonkies! (TNT Sports TV this time!)

This (of course!) meeenz yet anothaa owerneet stay in the capital where we are seriously 'fink'in aboot buyin' a second home az we are here SO often! (IF anly we could afford one at a million quid plus!)

This will be wor 13th owerneet stay for a leegue or cup tie and 19th includin the 3 Champions Leegue away games played so far! (With yet more hotel stays to follow!)

Pope, Joelinton, Targett and Wilson are still knackered, while there iz hope that Isak, Anderson, Schar and Willock will play some part in the game!

The Arse lost 1-0 to Porto in The Champions Leegue on Wedinzday to an agonisin' goal in the 4th minute of stoppage time!---and we can anly hope that this will put a spanner in the works and affect them!

NUFC drew 0-0 at The Emirates last season and we have won just once in wor previous 16 visits to their stadium, since it woz built in the orly 2000's---a 1-0 success in 2010-2011 when Andy Carroll got the anly goal of the game---since then we lost 11 in a row plus last seasons goalless draw to stop the rot!

Havin won 4 in a row away from home, we are tryin' for the 5th against a team gannin for the title! (Unlikely but not impossible!)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday on the train back from King's Cross!

Az per usual---"Watch this space!"

GARDENING LEAVE FOR 'DEVIL'GATE DAN!

 Posted '1:00pm bells' Wedinzday 21st February 2024

'DEVIL'GATE DAN THE FLOWERPOT MAN!

For those of yoo (like me!) who are old enough to remember the 'Bill and Ben the flowerpot men' kids programme from the 1960s, we can tell yoo that NUFC Sportin' Director Dan Ashworth haz been put on 'gardening leave' in the old man's garden! (Az the storyline gans!)

NUFC are demandin' between 10 and 20 million quid from The Red Devils of Manchester to release him from hiz 3 year contract!

Or else he'll be tendin' to the old man's cabbage patch and diggin' the weeds for a very lang time to come!

“HOE! HOE! HOE!”

Much more to follow on aall this in due course! 

THE TOON 2 THE CHERRIE PICKERS 2 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 18th February 2024

"IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE TO SCORE A GOAL!"

The difference between wor home form and away form iz puzzlin' az we havvint won at SJP for 4 games, yet we have won 4 oot of 4 on wor away travels!?

Bournemoooth, just like Lutin in wor last home game fought tooth and nail for a victory, but both games ended in draws which produced 12 goals in total!

From the start wor visitors with 1,000 fans high up in the Leazes gods, went for it az they attacked The Gallowgate goal!

BOURNEMOOOTH FANS HUDDLED IN THE TOP RIGHT HAND CORNER!

Dubravka pulled off 2 excellent saves to keep the score at nil-nil az we struggled withoot a main striker at the other end! (Wor midfield woz aalso in disaray!)

Half time came and then just 6 minutes into the 2nd half disaster struck az Dubravka slipped while tryin to control the baall, with Bournemooth's Solanke on hand to slot the baall into the empty net!

0-1 to stun the 52,000 plus crowd!

Lady luck woz on wor side just 7 mins later when Schar's shirt woz pulled in the box and a penalty woz awarded!---However! VAR got involved for a possible offside before the incident and after a 4 minute check with the ref gannin ower to the moniter the pen woz finally given!

Anthony Gordon took it and fired the baall into the right hand corner of the net to level things! (see video above)

Gordon then had a great chance to put us 2-1 up when he woz put through, but failed to round their keeper, who saved the baall!

We were punished for that miss just one minute later when Semenyo raced doon the wing and cut in to send a curlin shot into the top corner of the net with Dubravka unable to reach the baall!

1-2 to Bournemoooth!

And then super sub Matt Richie woz brought on in the 91st minute and within ONE MINUTE of comin' on he bundled the baall into the net with hiz forst touch, to once again level the scores at 2-2!

10 minutes of extra time were added, but we couldnt find the winner, with Bournemoooth tryin to dee the same!

Az Brian Clough used to say! "It only takes a second to score a goal!"-----(Or in this case a minute!) Good old Matt Richie who scored hiz forst goal for us in 4 years!

Injury depleted and withoot a proper striker iz costin us dear---especially at SJP!

Attendance: 52,224 (1,000 Cherrie Pickers)

*

THE TOON V THE CHERRIE PICKERS *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

 Posted ‘4:50pm  bell🔔s Friday 16th February 2024

BLUE SKIES OWER THE GALLOWGATE END TODAY!

News that Callum Wilson will probably miss the rest of the season iz yet more devastatin news for Toon fans! 

With both Alexander Isak and Joelinton crocked az well we mayaswell put wor number 5 Fabian Schar up front az he haz scored 3 times in wor last 2 away games! ( So he must be due at least one ‘home’ goal tomorrow!?)

Joe Willock, Matt Targett, Nick Pope,, Jacob Murphy and of course Sandro Tonali are aalso still crocked or suspended!

Honestly I for one will be glad when we reach the 40 point safety mark which iz just 4 away!

3 points against Bournemoooth and we are nearly there!

“MY KIND OF TOWN—CHICAGO IS!”

 Toon fans from Chicargo and Australia are in The Strawberry 🍓 now! ('4:50pm bells', Friday)

DESPERATE DAN!

 Posted ‘5:31pm bells 🔔 Thorzday 15th February 2024

This iz NOT a big deal that Dan Ashworth iz desperate to jump ship ship ⛴️ again and gan to Moan U!

NUFC signed Botman, Isak and Bruno etc BEFORE Ashworth arrived!

THE FRIAR TUCK MOB 2. THE TOON 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2023-2024

 Posted ‘high noon 🔔 bells’ Sunday 11th February 2024 on the train back from Newark!

“BRUNO’S MAGIC FOOT!” 🦶 

This woz a see-saw game if ever there woz one!

The goal sequences and incidents were az follows:

TOON FANS CELEBRATE BRUNO’S 1st GOAL!

10th minute: Bruno opens the scoring at the opposite Trent End with a fantastic right footed volley from a pinpoint Trippier pass, which beat former Toon keeper Matz Sels!   0-1 to The Toon

26th minute: Forest equalise through Elanga when he iz put through the middle and he fires past the advancin Dubravka in The Toon goal! 1-1

43rd minute: ‘Fab’ Schar restored wor lead with a shot from a Trippier set piece!  1-2 to us

45+6th minute: Forest pull level again when a wicked deflection off Lewis Miley wrangfoots Dubravka in the 6th minute of stoppage time!

50th minute: The Friar Tuck mob ‘fink’ they have taken the lead through Taiwo, but the linesman puts his flag up for offside!

55th minute: Penalty appeal when Dubravka woz alleged to have pulled doon Taiwo,who actually dived!

VAR decision  nee foul!

66th minute: Bruno gets his 2nd goal with a right footed shot into the corner of the net, from a loose baall to send the 2,950 Toon fans behind that goal ‘mental’!

There were a few close calls, but we hung on to win wor 4th away game in row!

Attendance 29,451 (2,950 jubilant Toon fans!)

🤪👍🏁

PLAYES AND FANS CELEBRATE AT THE FINAL WHISTLE!

PUB CRAWL PIX FROM NEWARK AND NOTTINGHAM BEFORE AND AFTER THE GAME! (6 BOOZERS VISITED!)

Nee sign of the Monty Python crew though! in Newark

"AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!"

THE FLYING CIRCUS

SWAN AND SALMON NEWARK

VAT AND FIDDLE NOTTINGHAM

NEWARK

LOOSE CANNON NEWARK

THE QUEENS HEAD NEWARK

THE FRIAR TUCK MOB v THE TOON *** TOMORROW TEA-TIME!

Posted '6:00pm bells' Friday 9th February 2024

"NEARLY 3,000 TOON FANS ARE COMIN' TO NOTTINGHAM, ROBIN!"

Nottinhim Forist iz wor 15th domestic away game with a non Saturday 3 bells ko oot of 16 (14 on live telly) (Anly ONE!---Lutin away woz played at 3 bells on a Saturday with nee telly and the WHU game woz moved to a Sunday coz thet were playin in Europe the previous Thorzday (nee telly eethaa)

And az for owerneet stays it's 12 neets for various reasons in this country alone, like train strikes or late kick offs, includin Forest tomorrow with a '5:30bells' start---where we have to get a train back to Newark, but there are a few issues with the trains from there! (So we are stoppin in Newark, which iz on the main line from King's Cross (London) and The Toon!) (Includin 3 Champions Leegue away games the hotel stays will rise to 18!)

We could drive there of course, but that meenz whoever the driver iz, he cannit drink much booze! (So trains it iz---hopefully with nee cancellations or strikes!)

Alexander Isak and Anthony Gordon will miss oot coz of the injuries they are carrin', but Callum Wilson iz expected to lead the line at The City Groond where 2,950 Toon fans in The Bridgford Stand, will be cheerin the lads on! (Wor full allocation sold of course!)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here sometime on Sunday----Az per usual: "Watch this space!" 

NUFC AWAY TICKET SURVEY

 Posted ‘high noon 🔔 bells’ Thorzday 8th February 2024

EMPTY SEATS AT TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR STADIUM, COZ MANY FANS COULDN'T GET THERE, COZ OF MAJOR DISRUPTION ON THE TRAINS AND WERE UNABLE TO PASS THEIR TICKETS ON TO LONDON BASED NUFC FANS!

Below iz a message from NUFC aboot wor away tickets distribution!

If any Toon fan iz interested in a face to face meetin OR an on line questionnaire, then log on to the clubs website nufc.co.uk and contact them aboot any issues yoo wish to bring up!

The one major issue az far az we are consorned, iz if a fan cannot gan to an away game at the last minute due to sommik unexpected happening’ like illness or train strikes, they are unable to pass their ticket on to someone else, az this iz not allowed at the moment and that fan’s seat at an away game will be unoccupied, like at Sporz when many didn’t get there coz on massive problems on the trains!🚂 

A MILLION REASONS TO BELIEVE!

 Posted ‘6:00pm bells 🔔’ Tuesday 6th February 2024

                 “TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!—

                        WHEY AYE MAAN!”

Ower the weekend just gone The Geordie Times reached an historical landmark, for we had wor 1,000,000th pageview!

We thank each and everyone of yoo from Tyneside to Timbuktu for loggin in to this daft advort free ‘NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS’ website!

 (ie: nee pop up adverts to distract yoo!)

164 countries and territories, plus the planet Mars have viewed it so far! (See above!)

We started off in 2010 when we were lucky to get 10 pageviews a day—— to today when we have received 1,650 az we type!

Once again thanks a million and keep the faith and here’s to the next million pageviews!

“HOWAY THE LADS!”🤪👍🏁

368 eco giants stadium clitheroe (v fleetwood u21s)

Ground number 368 

(369 if you include Motspur Park, Fulham from ootside!?)

Date of First Visit: 2nd February 2024

Eco Giants Stadium, Clitheroe, Lancashire

Fleetwood Town U21s 1

Newcastle United U21s 1 (Diallo pen)

Premier League Cup

Official Attendance: 120 (Glennn from Ashington coonted them!) 

(4 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers--plus quite a few 'locals' supportin us, who made up half the 'crowd'!)

"IF 60 IZ THE NEW 40, THEN 39 IZ THE NEW UNDER 21!"

*This game had been rearranged from Wedinzday, which woz due to be played at Fleetwood's Highbury groond, but woz postponed due to a waaterlogged pitch!----This woz in fact the 3rd time of askin' az the origional tie woz due to be played in Chorley, but that one woz postponed az well!

In desperation---and to get the game played it woz moved 40 miles from Fleetwood to The Eco Giants Stadium in Clitheroe!

They got special permission to play here even though the floodlights wernt up to the standard required for this competition!

3 of us travelled doon from Tyneside, namely 'Biffa the Beer', 'Glennn from Ashington' and 'me 'Fink the mad-sad groundhopper', in Biffa'z 'jam jar'!

On the way ower the A59 it started to p*ss doon and fears of yet another postponement crossed wor minds!

But we shouldnt have worried az the rain eased off az we apporoached Clitheroe's groond----a groond that non of us had ever been tee before!---Hence wor presence!

The Clitheroe clubhoose woz open and we were welcomed with open arms! (whey the curious locals did say "Hello, who are you?")

Mad-sad groundhopper 'Alex of St. George' (Middleton St. George) then torned up to make a total of 4 who had made the trek across the Pennines

After a few 'gargels' there, it woz time for the kick off, but Glennn woz not 'a happy bunny' az he had bought a Clitheroe FC metal badge az a souviner of hiz visit, BUT woz charged EIGHT QUID for it! 

“I anly want one NOT two!” he said, but the guy said that that WOZ the price for one! (Normal price anywhere else would be between £3-£4!)

“ROLL UP! ROLL UP! —- GET YOUR £8 BADGES HERE!”

Anyway!---The match kicked off and the pitch had a massive slope from top to bottom AND from one goal to the other and we kicked 'doon hill' in the forst half towards 'The Lidl Supermarket End'!----(Which woz behind that goal!) 

SPOT THE SUPERMARKET!

The rain then started comin doon in 'waves' but thankfully the groond woz covered on aall 4 sides to kep the 100 or so fans who had torned up dry! (With quite a few 'local' Toon fans az well!)

To say the game woz poor would be an understatement and (for example) we got a free kick near the halfway line and instead of kickin it forward, we kicked it back ower towards wor own goal???

However!--NUFCs youngins took the lead in the 40th minute, when  Parkinson woz pulled doon in the box!---A clear penalty, which Diallo took to put us 1-0 up!-----(see video below) And thats the way it stayed til the break az the rain eased off!

We were very poor in the 2nd half az we struggled up the hill towards (wait for it) 'The Strange Lookin Trees End! (See photo below!)

SPOT THE STRANGE LOOKIN’ TREES!  

(AND THE MASSIVE SLOPE!)

"POND LIFE!" (At 39!)

The equaliser from Fleetwoood came in the 67th minute when an horrendous misstayk by wor goalie let the 'home side'? in to knock the baall into the net from one yard oot!----The scorer for this Fleetwoood Under 21s side woz (wait for it!) THORTY NINE years old! (39) and woz caalled Nathan Pond!

I thought he looked a canny bit ower 20 when the game kicked off, but thought mee eyesight woz 'playin up' ---How wrang I woz! (Thankfully!) 

(Apparently 3 over age players are allowed to play for the U21s—-makes nee sense to me—like!🤔

There woz nee more scorin az the clock ticked doon and the game ended aall square!

Yet another groond to tick off, on the never endin' list!

DEFINITLY NOT CLITHEROE V CHASETOWN!

CLITHEROE CLUBHOOSE THE ONE BOOZER VISITED!

               “We woz there!”

            (Mee match ticket!)

              “Look through any window-yeah!” 

     (View of the pitch from the Clitheroe clubhouse!)