Posted '8:00am bells' Munday 14th September 2020
"NORTH SHEEELDZ SAIL CLOSE TO THE WIND!"
"AZ CULLERCOATS APPLY A GLOSS FINISH!"
Wor forst choice of games to gan tee woz of course NUFC away to 'The Jellied Eels Mob' of West Ham in eest London!
Of course that game woz behind closed doors and so we couldn't gan!
Choice number 2 woz to gan and watch Whitley Bay play 'The Bad Blue Boys' of Dunston in the FA Cup, but 2 Dunston players went doon with the virus and so they had to cancel the game!
And so to choice number 3, which woz Porcy Main Amataaz v Blue Star, but unbelievibleee a Blue Star player aalso tested positive for 'the bat out of hell' virus!!! and that game woz cancelled az well!!!
(Am I a JINX?)
Just alang the road from Porcy Main, North Sheeeldz Athletic were playin Cullercoats in 'the coast derby' and the game woz definitely ON! (Thank god!) 4th time lucky!?
We met up at North Sheeeldz Metro station (Me, Big Al, Tex Taylor and Gary, who lives nearby)
A 'mini pub crawl' woz in the offing in boozers on the way to the groond! Forst 'port o call' woz 'The Pub & Kitchen', which iz run by a lad caalled Mick and who we naa from Toon games!
He insisted on gettin us the first roond of drinks 'on the house', which woz very nice of him! "Cheers Mick!"
It woz then 'onward' towards the groond alang Preston Road, but not before another 'port o call' at The Spread Eagle!
Kick off had now come and gone az we rushed towards the pitch, which iz inside the groonds of John Spence High School !
We'd missed 15 minutes of the game and aa asked an old gadgy if there woz any score!
"One-nil to them!", he replied
"But which team?" I said, and he replied, "The team North Sheeeldz are playin'!"
It turned oot that he'd come to see his grandson, who woz playin for Sheeeldz, but didn't have a clue just who they were playin'!
"Cullercoats!", I told him, as we took wor places on a grass bank beside the pitch!
It woz dead windy and Cullercoats ,who played in black n white quartered shirts, had the wind behind them!
This proved to be decisive as they doubled their lead with a wind assisted pile driver from one of their forwards, which gave the Sheeeldz keeper 'nee chance'!
It woz soon 3-0 to the visitors from alang the coast when the Sheeldz keeper made a fine save from another wind assisted shot, anly for a Cullercoats player to heed into the net from the rebound!
The half time whistle blew and we heeded for the nearest ,'tool-shed' for a 'gypsies kiss' to get rid of the excess alcohol!
And an added 'bonus' woz aboot to greet us az we entered the buildin'---for there woz a BAR complete with beer pumps, which we didnt expect inside some school groonds!
AN OASIS IN THE DESERT!
Pints were quickly ordered, but the other 3 decided to stay put for the duration and MISS the 2nd half!
I woz having non of it and quickly downed mee pint of John Smith's a returned to the game which had restarted!
The wind had died doon, which didnt help Sheeeldz and before lang a penalty woz awarded to Cullercoats for some unknown reason?
Their number 9 took it (aa fink?) and sent the keeper the wrang way to put them 4-0 up
A 'whitewash' for 'Culler'coats (sic!)
CULLERCOATS PENALTY
It woz then back to the bar for another 'liquid lubrication' before eventually heedin back to the centre of Sheeeldz (via The Gunner)
to catch the Metro to 4 Lane Ends (Benton) where we watched The Toons 2-0 win at West Ham in The Black Bull, to complete a canny day oot!
Official Geordie Times attendance: 61 (Aye, aa counted them--and 'me'!)
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