THE BAGGIE TROOSERS 2 THE TOON 2 PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017 2018

Posted 10:00am bells onwards, Wednesday 29th November 2017 on the train yem!

"THE GREAT ESCAPE!"

Yet anothaa 'faall asleep game' woz endured by the Toon faithful!
Yet again we conceded in forst half stoppage time which meant that went in behind at the break!
It woz soon 2 0 to WBA in the 50th minute when they scored due to slack markin by us and aall looked lost!

However! Just 3 mins later we got 1 back when Clark heeded in a Richie corner to half the defecit!

Then Richie torned provider again from a free kick on the edge of the box which woz sliced into the net by a West Brom player to level things with just 8 mins left---to send the 2,600 Toon fans into extaseee!

Matt Richie free kick which lead to equaliser

'The great escape' had happened and we came away with a precious point which saw us climb to 12th position in the table--- for the time being at least!

Toon Team: Darlow  Yedlin  Lejeune  Clark  Mbemba  Hayden(Shelvey 79)  Merino  Murphy(Aarons 63)  Perez  Richie  Joselu(Mitrovic 73)

Attendance: 25,534 (2,600 very relieved Toon fans!)

VIEW FROM ROW 'AA'

LETS GAN ON A BENDER BEFORE THE WEST BROM GAME!

Posted in Bormingham on a live stream!

THE BAGGIE TROOSERS v THE TOON **** TOON0EET!

Posted 'just before high noon bells' Munday 27th November 2017
Updated '10:00am bells' Tuesday 28th November 2017

Followin' Saturday's disastrous showin against Wotfaad, we must pick worsels up for anothaa 'six pointer' when we travel to the Midlands to take on a West Brom side that are 3 places below us in the leegue in 17th place and just 3 points behind us!

We understand that Gary Megson WILL still be in charge of them by the '8 bells' kick off time!

We reeely MUST get sommik oot of this game or else we are in serious trouble with visits to Chelski on Saturday and games against The Arse and Man C to follow later on in December!

4 defeats in a row with just 1 goal scored and 9 conceded, iz very worryin' indeed, az we gan into the hectic Xmas period with 7 games to play in 28 days!

We are on wor travels once again at dinnaatime az we heed for Bormingham New Street on the 'choo choo' train---and then onward to The Hawthorns from there!
We have sold aall wor away alloction of 2,600 tickets for The Smethwick End!

A full Geordie Times match and 'bender' report will follow sometime on Wednesday when we get time!   

THE TOON 0 WOTFAAD 3 *** PREMYAA LEEGUE 2017-2018

Posted '11:03am bells' Sunday 26th November 2017

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL (1st half)

"WOTFAAD GAP!" (7 points!)

The Geordie Times reeely hates writin reports like this, but write them we must!

Without doubt this woz wor worst performance for a lang, lang time az we pressed the 'self destruct button'!

It wasnt that Wotfaad were that good, but they were far too good for us, az we played with ne shape and ne defence in this one sided game.

They started off well az they attacked the Gallowgate goal az 'we' couldn't get oot of forst gear!
They went 1-0 up in the 19th minute when Hughes shot into the corner of the net!
They had othaa gilt edged chances to increase their lead az wor 'powder puff' attack of Joselu and Gayle failed to dent the Wotfaad defence, despite at least 3 good chances! (If anly we had De Bruyne or Lukaku in wor team!)

And then the 'killer goal' bang on half time (just like at Moan U last week!) when Yedlin deflected the baall into hiz own net from a cross shot!

We couldn't see anyway back after this and so it proved in the 62nd minute when Gray added a 3rd at The Leazes End in front of their 2,000 plus travellin support high up in 'the gods'!

'BLURRED ACTION' AZ WE ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL!

The introduction of Merino and 'Mitro' in the 69th minute made ne difference az this woz too little too late!
10 minutes from the end Toon fans started to leave in their droves az the Wotfaad fans celebrated their FOURTH win in a row ower us and inflicted 'wor' FOURTH defeat in a row az we dropped to 13th place in the table az Wotfaad moved 7 points clear of us in 8th place!
(We WILL slip even forthaa doon the table az 2 teams below us play each othaa this afternoon, no matter the score! (Sooothamptin v Evaatin)

We are nuw just FOUR points above the drop zone with some very tough games comin' up in December!
Meeenwhile, we are off to The Baggie Troosers of West Brom on Tuesday neet for yet anothaa 'must win game' against this (so far!)managerless team, after 'The Tramp in a Tracksuit' (Tony Pulis) got the 'bullet' last week! (they are a point above the drop zone!)

(PS: For the benefit of those of yoo who are readin this from overseas, wor headline, 'Wotfaad Gap' (Watford Gap) iz a motorway service area on the way to London on the M1)

Toon team: Elliot, Yedlin, Clark, Lejeune, Manquillo, Diame (Merino 69), Shelvey, Ritchie, Murphy (Perez 77), Joselu (Mitrovic 69), Gayle

Attendance: 52,188 (2,200 happy traveller from Hertfordshire!)

The "Lets gan on a bender!" campaign continued az these Toon fans below defied the "Lets go sober!" brigade in the packed Leazes End Club and Bodega!

THE TOON v WOTFAAD *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted '6:51pm bells' Friday 24th November 2017 @ Trowell sorvices truck park 'M1' (southbound!) Nottinghamshire

A VIEW FROM THE GALLOWGATE END,

LOOKIN' TOWARDS THE LEAZES END

We gan into tomorrows game v Wotfaad in wot haz become a vital game where we MUST pick 3 points up az games in December don't bare lookin at! ---Chelski away, The Arse away and The Blue Moonies of Man C at home are just 3 games where zero points and a 'battered' goal difference looks more than likely!

This meenz that we MUST pick sommik up v The Baggie Troosers of West Brom away (next Tuesday) plus games against Lestaa, Evaatin and Brightin at home and wor forst ever visit to The Jellied Eels Mobs new London Stadium abode, just before Xmas!

We are slowly gettin' dragged doon the table, havin slipped 5 places in the last month after 3 defeats in a row, where we have scored just ONE solitary goal (the 4-1 loss @ Moan U last week)

The game v Wotfaad iz a complete selloot with wor visitors sellin 2,200 tickets!

It wont be easy of course, az Wotfaad are playin' well and flyin high, 3 places above us in 8th position!

A full Geordie Times match and 'Lets Gan on a Bender in November!' report will appear here sometime on Sunday! 

GROUND NUMBER 285 (NOT!)

Posted '11:41am bells' Friday 24th November 2017

MOTSPUR PARK FROM AFAR!

"WEEZE TREEZ ARE THEEZE!"

This afternoon @ '2 bells' wor U23s take on Fulim's equivalent @ Motspur Park, London!

This iz the ANLY groond that aa have had to watch a game from OOTSIDE, (through a barbed wire fence and some trees!), az aa woz unable to gain access, despite assurances to the contrary that aa could get in!
It's ironic, to say the least that todays game iz open to the public!, (£3 big kids and £1 sprogs etc) but aa cannit gan az a'v used aall mee work holidays up for the rest of the year! (WBA away, Chelski away, Colchester away (U23s), Everton home (midweek) and West Ham away) 
(The U23s result will be published here sometime later today)

Updated 6:50 bells
Wor U23s lost 3-0 in front of 120 spectators includin 2 NUFC mad-sad groundhoppers, namely Dave from York, Alex of St George and Glennn from Ashington!---plus a handful of exiles!

Ground 285 (NOT!)

See match report on that game from 2012 in the next article!  

FULHAM RESORVES 5 THE TOON RESORVES 0

Updated '2:10pm bells' Wednesday 4th April 2012

(Ground number 285---NOT!)
Date of Attempted Visit: 3rd April 2012
Motspur Park, London

Fulham Reserves 5
Newcastle United Reserves 0

FA Premier Reserve League
Attendance: 100 inside and us daft bu**ers ootside!

"A VIEW TO DIE FOR!" ^ (BUT BEWARE OF THE BARBED WIRE!)

To cut a very lang story short, we were unable to gain admittance to this 'behind closed doors' match @ Motspur Park, despite havin' genuine written authorisation to do so. The reason bein' that we wernt on 'the list'!
(This waz despite valiant efforts from wor contact on Tyneside to get us in!)
"CHEERS MATE!---YOU DID YOUR VERY BEST, AND YOUR EFFORTS TO GET US IN ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!"

We were forced to watch the game through a gap in a barbed wire fence, which we'd noticed on wor way to the groond's main entrance, so it wasn't an entirely wasted jorney after aall, and we were grateful for that at least! (even though it was a canny way from the pitch!)

"WEEZE TREES ARE THEEZ?"

However!---a five nil thrashin' waz the order of the day for a Toon team made up mainly of junior players, so mebbeez it was just az well that we wornt inside the groond to see it!
The 'Orangebairns' (we played in wor orange change kit) simply wornt good enough for the much stronger and expierienced home side.

We saw aall the goals bar one, when a groondsmans tractor drove by, blockin' wor view!


"ARMS IN!---IF YI LOVE 'THE TOON'!"

One of wor groundhoppin' number (who shall remain nameless!) said that he waz includin' the groond on his 'list' az he'd actually put hiz arms through 'the gap in the fence', so therefore he waz actually INSIDE the groond. (IF this ISN'T the saddest thing yoov EVER hord, then let me naa!)

From a personal point of view, ("Er!"--despite dein' the same thing for some daft reason???) aa very reluctantleee decided that aa could'nt include it in my list of groonds, even though aa saw the game from afar, az the 'mad-sad groundhoppers rules' clearly state that you 'MUST BE INSIDE THE GROOND' to include it! (not just 'PART' of yoo!)

Memo: MUST! amend the rules to say:  "The WHOLE of your body MUST be inside the groond to include it!" (rule 27a amendment 04/04/2012)

On wor retorn to Tyneside late last neet we were 'greeted with sleet, snow and freezin' caad temperatures----The PERFECT WAY to end this day!


Conclusion: It's F*****' CRAZY!---Isn't it!?
Clubs barrin' fans (their lifeblood!) from gannin to games!
We wernt the anly ones 'barred' from this game.
Amongst others, a scout from a Rymans League club waz aalso refused entry coz he wasn't 'on the list' and a Fulham fan who asked if he could watch the match was told in no uncertain terms that he couldn't!
'CRAZY' isn't the word!

"AMANDA'S HAVIN' A GANDER!"

Posted 11:00pm bells Munday 20th November 2017 @ Woodall services truck park M1
Updated 11:30am bells Thorsday 23rd November 2017 @ wor hoose!

News reaches us via the wonders of modern technology (mee truck radio!) that the PCP Group headed by Amanda Staveley have tabled a takeover bid of £300,000,000 for NUFC

We can anly hope that wor beloved owner? Known affectionatly by Toon fans az 'The Fat Controller' sees sense and sells up!

We await with baited breath to see the outcome!!!

Thorsday update
The 300 million offer haz reportedleee been rejected!
'The Fat Controller' wants more! (Just like Oliver Twist!) and 350 million haz been mentioned!

"PLEASE MISS---CAN YOO HOY £350 MILLION QUID

IN HERE PLEASE!"

We will keep yoo updated aboot the twists and torns! (sic!)

PAUL 'JETHRO' TULLY RIP

Posted '10:15am bells' Wednesday 22nd November 2017

It woz the funeral of former NUFC programme editor Paul Tully yesterday.
I did a 'fan page' in the match programme in the 2005-2006 season caalled 'Fink the Fan' and Paul edited it.
He woz a smashin' guy who woz liked by everybody from the famous, like Kevin Keegan, Peter Beardsley and Alan Shearer---to the 'not so famous', like me!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper)

RIP  PAUL

GEORDIE TIMES SENSATIONAL BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Posted 9:40am bells' Munday 20th November 2017

"IT MUCH MORE IMPORTANT FOR ME TO BE HERE TODAY IN NEWPORT 

THAN TO WATCH MY NEW TEAM BREAK THE AALL TIME RECORD

OF WINLESS HOME GAMES!"

New sund'lind manager Chris Coleman woz unable to watch hiz new team break the aall time record of 20 home games withoot a win, az he woz at a more important engagement on Saturday afternoon, when he switched the Christmas lights on in Newport, south Wales!!!!


Updated '10:40am bells'

More sensational news haz reached 'The Geordie Times' via 'WhatsApp'
It haz been reported in the last few minutes that Chris Coleman will now NOT! be takin' ower at sund'lind!
It iz understood that he failed a medical when he had hiz head examined!!!!

Updated 'high noon bells'

Yet more sensational news haz reached us!
After just one game in charge former 'sund'lind supremo' Sir David Moyes  < (anybody who takes sund'lind doon desorves a knighthood!) haz pleaded with West Ham fans not to boo the team and slag them off!

Watchin their game v Wotfaad, where they lost 2-0 yesterday, he looked like a frightened rabbit caught in the headlights of a car!
And (don't forget!) that's after just one game in charge!!!

PS: Some West Ham fans are caallin for Moyzys head aalready!!!