THE TOON 4 BORMINGHAM BRUMMIES 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '11:23am bells' Sunday 11th December 2016

GOUFFRAN GOAL! (Geordie Times excluuusive!)

"IT'LL BE AALL DWIGHT ON THE NIGHT!" ("sic!")

A suburb hat-trick from Dwight Gayle put NUFC 'back on track' and back to the top of the Championship with a resoondin' fower-nil victory ower 'The Blue Noses' in front of wor biggest crowd of the season!

Goal one: A Diame cross iz heeded into the Gallowgate End net by Gayle in the 18th minute az we completlee dominate wor opponents!

1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE GOAL!

Goal two: A deflected cross from Hayden finds the feet of Gayle and from 3 yards oot he haz the simple task of slottin' the baall into the net after 24 minutes on the clock!

Goal three (2nd half): Goofy Gouffran gets in on the act just 3 mins after the restart to slot home an easy chance at The Leazes End after Gayle had fluffed a good chance!

Goal fower: Shelvey pulls the baall back across the box and Dwight Gayle fires home with 8 mins left on the clock to seeel the victory and 3 points!

"WE'VE SEEN THE LIGHT!" (The Leazes corner celebrates wor win!)

Brummie fans have a song which gans: "Keep right on til the end of the road!"---perhaps they shud adopt a new song: "This iz the road to HELL!", after their capitulation at SJP in front of their 3,000 plus travellin' fans!

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie, Shelvey, Hayden (Laasar 81), Gouffran (Atsu 69), Diame, Gayle (Mitrovic 78)

Attendance: 52,145 (3,100 Brummies!)

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NUFC GEORDIE TIMES COMMENT

Posted '1:45pm bells' Tuesday 6th December 2016

It's been a month since aa started this new blog az aa couldn't renew the old one (geordietimes.com) despite tryin' for ower THREE WEEKS!

I then got an e mail tellin' me that it would cost me $95 to renew when the old price waz $15!

Az aa'd made nothin' whatsoever from that blog aa decided to gan back to 'Blogspot' which iz FREE!

I am still tryin' to work oot just how to download some of my old stuff from there to my new blog---but it isn't eazy---aa can tell yiz.!

I have managed to download a 'classic' tale' from a qwaataa of a century ago (see below) and will endeavour to download the rest (eventually!)

I had exactly 888 hits in mee forst month to add to the 241,856 aa had with my old blog----Not bad for a brand new website, but I've still lost some 3,000 pageviews az followers obviousleee gan to my old site! (which iz doon!)
Tell everyone yoo know that The (NUFC) Geordie Times iz alive and kickin'

Cheers!

Fink (the mad-sad groundhopper!)  

THE FRIAR TUCK MOB 2 THE TOON 1 *** EFL 2016 20127

Posted '10:49am bells' Sunday 4th December 2016

"CAN YOO SPOT THE EMPTY BLOCKS OF SEATS!?"

"ROBBIN' HOOD!"

The jorney doon waz uneventful (for a change!) and we had to change at Newark to continue wor jorney to Nottingham.
The walk between Newark Northgate station and Newark Central iz aboot 20 minutes and (az yi de!) there waz time for a quick pint of liquid lubrication in a boozer near to the station!

It waz my torn for the drinkx and aa spotted a very expensive bar near some traffic lights (see photo below!) and heeded there!

It waz actually £1 for a half, but at just £1.50 for a pint it waz still a bargain, especially az mee drinkin' partner 'Big Al' < (not the sheet metal workers son!) had paid nearly £10 for 2 pints in Hadrians 'Wigwam Bar' (see photo below) next to the Central Station in The Toon before we departed!

It waz then onward to Robin Hood Country and a boozer aboot a 20 minute walk from The City Groond called 'The Vat and Fiddle'.
PS: This iz NOT a spelin' missteak--The pub used to be called 'The CAT and Fiddle, but rumour haz it that the pub cat climbed into a vat of beer in the cellar and met a very drunken end!---Hence the name change!

The VAT and Fiddle

ANYWAY!---After several liquid lubrications here it waz time to heed for the ground across the river Trent from the city centre.

We had been allocated just 2,002 tickets for this one and just like at Hull a few days orlier there were thoosands of empty seats in the home sections! (ie: they both thought that they could sell aall there remainin' tickets to their own fans!)

1st HALF ACTION AZ WE ATTACK THE TRENT END
("CAN YOO SPOT THE EMPTY SEATS!?")

We started off the better side and went for the 'jugular', but the ref--a certain Steve Martin waz havin' non of it and he sent Shelvey off in the 33rd minute for retaliation to bein' kicked by a Forest player!---The Forest player stayed ON the pitch while Shelvey went for an orly bath!

A penalty waz awarded because of this, which waz brilliantly saved by Darlow and just a few minites later the 10 men took the lead at The Trent End when Ritchie scored bang on half time!
(Clark had orlier had a porfectlee good goal chalked off for ne apparent reason)
Again, thr ref waz havin' non of this and imminently after the goal he awarded the home side ANOTHAA penalty and sent Paul Dummett off, when a bookin' waz more appropriate!
AGAIN---Karl Darlow guessed right and saved brilliantly to deny the ref and Forest an equaliser.

The 2nd half waz aalways gannin to be a 'backs to the waall' defensive effort from us, but with anly 9 men left Forest made the breakthrough and levelled things in the 52 minute through Bendtner!
We managed to 'haad on' til the 85th minute when Lascelles put through hiz own goal to give 'The Friar Tuck Mob' and undeserved victory!--    "2-1 to the referee!"   

Verdict: Robin Hood iz alive and well and now gans under the alias of Steve Martin, 'cr*p futbaall referee'?
A porfectleee good goal disallowed ---Two sendins off for us and two penalties awarded because of this, ultimately seeled wor fate az the 9 men played a desperate defensive formation!

"WE WAZ ROBBED!" 

Toon team: Darlow, Lascelles, Yedlin, Clark, Dummett, Hayden, Shelvey, Ritchie, Gouffran (Diame 77), Perez (Anita 46), Gayle (Mitrovic 87)

Attendance: just 21,317 (2,002 Toon fans) This iz 7,000 below the groonds capacity --but of course, (like Hull at 8,000 below capacity), they wouldn't sell us any more tickets!---
Taak aboot cuttin' your nose off to spite your face!!!!!

SOME OF THE 2,002 AWAY FANS!

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THE TIGER LILLYS 1 THE TOON 1 (3-1 to HULL on penalties) *** EFL CUP QWAATAA FINAL 2016 2017

Updated '1:35pm bells' Thorsday 1st December 2016

ACTION AT 'THE FAR END' (TOON IN WHITE)

"REEEALITY CHECK!"

NUFC put in wor most inept performance of the season in this qwaataa final Leegue Cup tie in Hull!

It waz obvious from the word 'go' that this waz a game likely to gan to extra time and penalties az both team put in abysmal performances!

Misplaced passes, shots way ower the bar and off target were the norm for this game az we froze to death on the terraces of 'The KC' for 2 and a half hours, wishin' we were actually at work!

ACTION AT 'WOR END'

Even when Hull had a player sent off late in normal time we couldn't find a way through until extra time waz played!
In the 8th minute of et we eventually made the breakthrough when Diame poked the baall home from close range to send the near 3,000 Toon fans wild with delight az the players celebrated in front of us!
THIS!---waz short lived to say the least az the home side equalised less than a minute later az the dreaded penalty shoot out loomed!

Shelvey took the forst one, but he'd played badly and az he ran up to take it I just knew that he would miss!---and he DID az their keeper dived to the right to save it!
Hull scored their forst one and then Gayle hit the bar for us!
Wor aanly successful kick came from Atsu, but Hull scored again--meanin' that if Gouffran missed then we were oot!
Their goalie saved hiz spot kick az well az the home fans celebrated!
Ne silverware in this competition for us (again!), but this waz definateleee a 'reality check' and if this team waz in the top flight we would surely struggle!

Forest away on Friday neet iz next up for us, but PLEEEZE can we try a bit harder or else the wheels of the bandwagon will faall off!

Toon team: Sels, Anita (Yedlin 109), Lascelles, Clark, Laazar, Hayden (Murphy 105), Shelvey, Richie (Atsu 80), Gouffran, Diame, Gayle

Attendance: 16,243 (2,500 Toon fans) <(they wouldn't give us any more tickets and the groond waz 8,000 below capacity!

SOME OF THE TOON FANS WHO WERE LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET A TICKET!

THE PRE MATCH 'GARGELS' TOOK PLACE HERE!

PS: Thanx for readin' mee new blog!

THE TOON 0 BLACKBORN (Venky Chicken ) ROVAAZ 1 *** EFL 2016 2017

Posted '11:16am bells' Sunday 27th November 2016

"BLACK Saturday follows BLACK Friday against-----BLACKborn!!!"

A BLACK day indeed for the 50,000 plus Toon Army who had assembled @ HQ to witness wor 10th win in a row!
BUT!--this IZ! NUFC and we have said many many times before that we are the most likely team in futbaall to shoot worsels in the foot when a certain win looks on the cards!

From the start wor visitors attacked the Gallowgate goal az we defended frantically---it waz gannin to be 'one of those days' aa thought az me and grandson Jamie froze in the stands!

Rafa the Gaffa had made several changes from the Leeedz game and this time it backfired on him!
And we went in at the break thankful that we were still on level torms!

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL (1st half)

The 2nd half waz a bit better for us az we tried in vain to get the aall important forst goal and several good chances were missed!

And then 'disaster'!---with just 15 minutes left on the clock Rovaaz got the 'breakthrough when Mulgrew volleyed home from a corner to put the visitors in front.

Despite a few good chances after this from us and great saves from their keeper, 'it wasn't to be' and it waz the smaall contingent of Blackborn fans in level 7 of The Leazes End who were celebratin' and not us!

Anothaa BLACK weekend for aall Tynesiders!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Mbemba (Gayle 84), Clark, Gamez (Dummett 54), Richie, Shelvey, Atsu, Hayden, Perez, Mitrovic

Attendance: 52, 092 (just 1,600 Rovaaz fans!)

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LEEEEDZ 0 THE TOON 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '2:30pm bells' Munday 21st October 2016

Forst of aall apologeeez for not updatin' on a more regular basis---this iz because my 'geordietimes.com' website went doon and up til now aa still cant get it back online, despite tryin' for the last 3 weeks! (The Google helpline iz NE help by the way!)

"THE TALE OF CHRISTOPHER COLAMITOUS!" 

"IT'S MUCH QUICKER CIRCUMNAVIGATIN' THE WORLD, THAN LEEEDZ!"

The 3 carriage Trans-Pennine train wasn't big enough to take aall the Toon fans and regular customers and this resulted in some people havin' to stand in the allyways for the entire jorney (memo to Trans-Pennine----put more carriages on the next time, yoo idiots!)
Aa waz lucky and managed to grab a seat before they were aall taken--and didn't dare move an inch in case someone nicked it!

On arrival 2 hours later in central Leeedz, we heeded for a couple of boozers just doon the road from the station for some much needed 'liquid lubrication'

Amongst wor party waz 'Colonel Gadaffi' (the one from Bracknell in Berkshire, NOT Tripoli!), 'Faulty Towers' (who didn't have a ticket!) and hiz bruvvaa 'Norman the Cowboy Plumber'!
It waz soon time to heed for the match (1:15 ko) and 2 taxis were hailed to take us to Elland Road which iz on the outskirts of Leeedz. Wor taxi cost £12 (plus a £2 tip) and the othaa one cost £6!  (theres a 'rabbit off' somewhere mee finx!)
We were allocated less than 3,000 tickets but there waz still chaos at the tornstiles az my ticket wouldn't scan! (amongst othaa fans!)----A ticket office waz just roond the corner and the gadgie gave me a new one---with a different seat number on it to the one aa had!?

After pushin' mee way up the stairs aa just saw the kick off and sat in a seat near the exit! (NOT mee new seat!)  Aall the alleyways were full with fans unable to get to their propaa seats az it waz total chaos here az well!

1st HALF ACTION AZ THE TOON (IN WOR 'BUMBLE BEE' KIT)
ATTACK THE ELLAND ROAD END

The Toon were on the 'front foot' from the start and were by far and away the better side' az we attacked the Elland Road End.
In the 11th minute there waz loud applause for the late Gary Speed who played number 11 for both clubs
The forst goal came in the 23rd minute when the Leeedz goalie parmed a baall ott---straight to Gayle whod had some teeth knocked oot a few days orlier in a fight--and he 'knocked' the baall into the net to the delight of the travellin' faithful who were situated on the side of the pitch near to that goal line!

The 2nd came from Gayle again in the 2nd half when an Anita cross in the 54th minute foond Gayle who slammed the baall home to claim the 3 points and 9th league a cup victory in a row, which equalled wor all time record set in 1994 in the Kevin Keegan era!

IT'S NEARLY FULL TIME!----LET THE CELEBRATIONS BEGIN!!!

After the match we called into 'The Bull' which iz on Pleasant Terrace!---(see pix) for a quick gargle on wor waalk back to the city centre. A'm not sayin' the boozer waz rough but it had ne windows (which had ne doubt been put in by some local plonkies!)--and the hooses in 'Pleasant Terrace'? had bars on the windows and doors to keep oot the local burglars!

PLEASANT TERRACE?---YI HAVIN' A LAFF!

'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' had worked in Leeedz for 12 weeks in the past and knew the quickest way back to the train station (NOT!) The 25 minute walk torned into a one which waz an hour plus az we heeded for the large tower block which dominates the skyline---despite waalkin for 30 mins we were ne closer az we circumnavigated every postcode in Leeedz!--- eventually arrivin' back at wor forst 'port o call' near the station at 5 to 5 bells-- with blisters on wor blisters! (the match ended at 3:15!)

"WE'RE GETTIN' CLOSER!---OH NOT WE'RE NOT!!!"

'Colonel Gadaffi' commented that Christopher Columbus would have got us there quicker---(the gadgie that circumnavigated the world a few hundred years ago----'Norman the Cowboy Plumber' waz then renamed 'Christopher Colamitous' on hiz 'circumnavigation of Leeedz!

* Toon team line up: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie, Colback (Hayden 83), Shelvey, Gouffran (Diame 76), Perez, Gayle (Mitro 79)

Attendance: 36,002 (2,764 Toon fans) Leedz largest crowd for 6 years!)
     

THE TOON 2 WARNOCKS WELSH WHINGERS 1 (CARDIFF!)

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 6th November 2016

ATSU (foot raised) SCORES THE FORST GOAL

It took barely 2 minutes to open the scorin' when Christian Atsu fired in @ The Leazes End az we pounded the Welshmens goal lokin' to icrease wor lead!
This came bang on half time when 'Goofy' Gouffran doubled wor advantage and aall looked good.

HOWEVER!---we didn't get oot of the blocks in the 2nd period az Warnocks Wanabeez looked to get back into the game.
This happened in the 77th minute when Whittinham scored after a blatant hand baall waz missed by the officials (see photo!) 

Cardiff then went for the equaliser in a game we shud have won at a canter and when Mitrovic tumbled in the box with one of their forwards it looked az though wor luck waz oot! ---BUT! the linesman on the far side ruled it waz Mitro who had been fouled and WE won the free kick!

After the game Cardiff manager Neil Warnock moaned and whinged that it shud have been a penalty--but totally missed that 'hand baall' which gave hiz side a way back into the game <(funny that like---isn't it!?)

"HAND BAALL!" BUT THE REF (AND WARNOCK!) DIDNT SEE IT

An EIGHTH win on the spin waz well desorved in the end though az we gan into yet anothaa international break next weekend!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Atsu (Diame 89), Shelvey, Hayden, Gouffran (Anita 72), Perez ,Mitrovic

Attendance: 51, 257 (approx. 700 Cardiff fans)

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"TO BE OR NOT TO BE!---THAT IZ THE QUESTION?" *** MORE FIXTURE CHANGES --- "OR NOT AZ THE CASE MAY BE!?"

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 4th November 2016

Sky and the FA have been reeeely helpful in wor fixtures for January!
Wor away game at Brentfaad on Saturday January 16th haz been moved to the followin' Munday neet, PROVIDIN'! that both of us arnt involved in FA Cup 3rd roond replays??---If one of us IZ!--- then the game will be moved back to the original time and date at very short notice, givin' us very little time to book trains/hotels at premium prices!

Wor away game at ("ne where near") Brighton iz due to take place on Saturday 28th January, PROVIDIN'! that both of us arnt involved in the FA Cup 4th roond??---(ie: we BOTH get knocked oot in the 3rd roond!?)   If one of us IZ!--then the game will be moved to an unknown midweek date,  again, givin' us very little time to book trains/hotels at premium prices! <(sorry for repeatin' myself!)

"HELP!"

"IT'S 'BATH TIME' FOR THE NUFC MAD-SAD GROUNDHOPPERS!"

Posted 'high noon bells' Thorsday 3rd November 2016

News that wor U23 cup game away to Bristol City will not now be played on their trainin' groond OR the nearby athletics stadium haz reached 'The Geordie Times'!

The game waz due to be played at 1 of the above 2 groonds tomorrow neet, but haz nuw been switched to Twerton Park, Bath next Munday afternoon @ 2 bells!

Az we have been to Twerton Park before in the 1990's when Bristol Rovers were the tenants, I myself will not be there, but this IZ great news for any 'hoppers' who have nevaa been there before!

In a way, I am glad it's bein' played at Bath, az it would have been ny on impossible for me to make it tomorrow due to work commitments!

'Glennn from Ashington' (it shud be noted), took a days holiday from work tomorrow to visit what would have been a new groond!!!
But iz now left 'kickin hiz heels'!!!

Life's nevaa easy when your a NUFC mad-sad groundhopper!

Aalso---wor U23s have been drawn away to Morpeth Toon in 'The Northumberland Senior Cup' later this month---anothaa groond we have previousleee visited in the past! 

THE TOON U23s v THE SMOGGIES U23s *** TOONEET @ SJP

Posted 1:00 pm bells Munday 31st October 2016

The resorves make a rare appearance at HQ tooneet when we take on The Smoggies @ '7 bells'

If yoo are gannin anly The East Stand iz open and iz free to season ticket holders and members (£3 if yoo are not!)

PS: az yoo can see--website iz still up and runnin' (scroll doon to see article on that!)

Update|: The Toon won 2-0 with Sean Longstaff and El-Mhanni scorin' wor goals in the forst half--the 2nd from the penalty spot, in front of a 508 'crowd'!