PRESTON DEAD END 1 THE TOON 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '11:25am bells' Sunday 30th October 2016

'MITRO'S ON FIRE! (1st goal)
('GEORDIE TIMES' EXCLUUUSIVE!)

"SEVEN HEAVEN!"

On the day the SMBs went 10 games in a row withoot a win from the start of a season, to create a new aall time top flight record, we won wor SEVENTH on the bounce!
Aa cant help wonderin' if the mackem(s) who hired that plane with the relegation banner, which flew ower SJP on the last day of last season, waz there to witness this disaster!---I sincerely hope he/she WAZ!---divvint forget yoo sad bustard(s)--"Wot gans aroond--comes aroond!"

Anyway!---enough of that!--- The jorney doon waz slow and torturous with numerous traffic jams on the way!
We'd started off by train from The Central to Durham where 'Jimmy the Riddle' picked us up in hiz 'jam jar' to complete the trip!

A massive traffic jam in Kirkby Stephen waz followed by one on the M6 and we didn't arrive at wor designated boozer in the centre of Preston til half 12!!!

YE OLDE BLUE BELLE

 

There waz still time (of course!) to 'shovel' several pints of the local brew doon mee 'Gregory' =(Gregory Peck=neck!) at less than £2 a pint!, before waalkin' to the groond some 20 minutes away in the 'north end' of Preston <(would yoo believe!)

THE TOON (in black) KICK THE GAME OFF!

And just like several away games which we have won this season, we didn't 'get oot of the blocks' and stuttered through the forst half!

VIEW FROM THE BILL SHANKLY KOP (2nd half) 

But again we 'came good' in the 2nd period with Mitrovic providin' the 2 goals to secure the 3 points!

Hiz forst in the 59th minute waz a superb right foot effort across the box and got doon on hiz honkers to celebrate in front of the 5,600 Toon faithful behind that goal.

Hiz 2nd 12 mins later waz after hiz heeder waz saved by the Preston keeper, but the baall fell nicely to hiz feet and he toe poked the baall ower the line to send 'The Bill Shankly Kop End' into raptures! (The 'end' we were 'in', which waz named after the ex Liverpool manager az he once played for Preston)

2nd GOAL--- 'MITRO' SCRAMBLES THE BAALL INTO THE NET!

Preston hit back with a goal bang on full time and 6 minutes of stoppage time waz added for some unknown reason? This stretched to NINE minutes before the ref (eventually!)blew for time, but not before a penalty appeal and a 'post hit' from the home side had us bitin' for fingernails doon to the bone at the end!

JUST IN CASE YI DIVVINT NAA WHERE YOO ARE!

A fortuitous win perhaps in the (north) end!--- but lady luck waz on wor side once again az we took the 3 points back to Tyneside!
Heavy defeats for promotion rivals 'uddersfield and 'The Canary Custards of Norwich' meenz that we have opened up a 3 point gap at the top of the table with Brighton (who beat Norwich 5-0) now in 2nd place behind us!

The jorney back waz torturous az well (it took an HOUR to get oot of Preston!) but who cares az we won wor 7th game on the spin!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin (Hanley 95!), Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Hayden, Shelvey, Richie (Atsu 92), Gouffran, Diame, Mitrovic (Perez 86)

Attendance: 20, 724 (5,600 very happy (and releeeved Toon fans!)  This waz Preston's biggest crowd for 7 years!

* Footnote: The Toon startin' X1 cost £63million + £22million on bench:
PNE total cost of their 11 starters and 7 subs = £850,000!

GEORDIE TIMES FLASH-BACK *** HALLOWEEN 2 YEARS AGO! *** "WHO'S BEEN SLEEPIN' IN MY BED!?"

IT'S HALLOWEEN FOLKS! and 'The Geordie Times' makes ne apologeee for diggin' this little 'gem' up from 2 seasons ago! (see below!)

PRESTON DEAD END v THE TOON *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOOON!

Posted 'high noon bells' Friday 28th October 2016

The nevaa endin' fixture list gans on (and on!) in deepest Lancashire tomorrow, when we take on Preston for the 2nd time in a few days! (wor 18th leegue or cup game of the season so far!---and we havvent even had Halloween yet! )
They wont relish the prospect after wor 6-0 demolition of them on Tuesday neet @ SJP
We can anly hope for a similar result doon there, but this IZ NUFC and anything can happen???? (a 1-0 win will de me!)

We will have the backin' of 5,600 on The Bill Shankly Kop (the ex Liverpool manager played for them!) az we gan for SEVEN wins in a row!

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here on Sunday provided mee domain provider 'GoDaddy' hasn't 'pulled the plug' on this blog by then!? (see article below!)

NEW WEB ADDRESS FOR GEORDIE TIMES COMIN' SOON

Av had massive problems tryin' to renew 'The Geordie Times' domain name off 'GoDaddy' so av decided to host a new one at the end of this month az the old one might 'gan doon' at anytime!
Gan to: www.nufcgeordietimes.blogspot.com 

THE TOON 6 (SIX!) PRESTON DEAD END 0 *** EFL CUP 4th ROOND

Posted '12:44pm bells' Wednesday 26th October 2016

MATT RICHIE (centre of pic) FIRES HIZ PENALTY HOME
TO THE DELIGHT OF THE CROWD!

"LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER!"

Wot can we say!---Rafa's rotation iz workin' a treat and Preston were the latest team to suffer az the huge crowd watched on!  (We made 7 changes to the team that beat Ipswich 3-0 on Saturday!)

The goal sequences/incidents were az follows!
19th minute: 1-0: Mitrovic heeds home @ The Leazes End after a pin point free kick from Matt Richie

THE TOON ATTACK THE LEAZES GOAL (1st half)

27th minute: Preston's Browne iz sent off for elbowin' Jack Colback in the face----Colback needed hospital treatment!

38th minute: 2-0: Diame drills in a low shot to double wor advantage

53rd minute: 3-0: Matt Richie fires in a penalty at The Gallowgate End (see top pic)

55th minute: 4-0: Mitrovic jinks through the visitors defence and slots the baall into the back of the net--takes hiz shirt off to celebrate and iz duly booked by the ref!

87th minute: 5-0: Diame hits a screamer past Lindergaard in the Preston goal

91st minute: 6-0: Perez completes the rout after a corner isn't cleared by their defenders!

GRANDSON JAMIE ENJOYS THE GAME!

On top of this the woodwork waz hit on numerous occasions ----at least 5 or 6 times (aa lost coont!) (Atsu hit the woodwork twice!) 

Preston's badge features a lamb with a flag (of surrender--perhaps!?---OR! 'lambs to the slaughter!?)) 

THE PP STANDS FOR 'PUMMELLED PRESTON'! 

Toon team: Sels, Yedlin, Mbemba, Hadley, Dummett (Anita 57), Colback (Shelvey 31), Atsu, Diame, Mitrovic

Attendance: 49, 042 (1,500 'sheepish' Preston fans in Level 7)
(That meenz that ower 101,000 fans have been in attendance @ SJP in the last 3 days!)

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THE TOON v PRESTON DEAD END *** EFL CUP 4th ROOND *** TOONEET!

Posted '2:33pm bells' Tuesday 25th October 2016

THE DARK NIGHTS ARE UPON US!

At least 44,000 will be in attendance @ SJP tooneet (inc 1,250 Lancastrians) az that's how many tickets had been sold by last neet!
@ £10 for big kids and a fiver for sprogs and zimmerframeites the ticket office phone/e mail numbers were jammed and many couldn't get through!
Tooneet if yoo want a ticket it's 'double bubble' payments @ the ticket office! (ne cash tornstiles tooneet!)

If we win we will be in the last 8 and anothaa home draw would de nicely (if that happens!?)

A full Geordie Times match report will appear here tomorrow provided mee blog doesnt get the chop by then (see articles below)

I'm busy workin' on anotha domain name and nufcgeordietimes.blogspot.com  iz one of them---a bit of a mouthful, but I intend to 'keep on gannin' ne matter what!

Will keep yoo informed!

THE TOON 3 'BENT NOSE McCARTHY'S IPSWICH 0 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted 'high noon bells' Sunday 23rd October 2016

PEREZ (extreme right in black n white) SCORES THE QUICKEST GOAL
IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP THIS SEASON!

"GRANDAD---I WANT THE TEAM IN BLUE TO WIN!
"OH NO YOO DONT!!!!

Mee day started off at 'Soccer World' in the 'west end' of the Toon where grandson Jamie waz celebratin' hiz 7th birthday with a party and 'kickaroond' on one of the '5 a side' pitches in the complex before the game with hiz little friends.
Zac, one of mee othaa grandsons waz aalso there and aa waz takin' him to watch the Ipswich game with Jamie (and Jamie's dad).
Zac had been before with hiz daddy and hiz forst ever game waz last season in the 6-2 thrashin' of Norwich----a lucky mascot if ever there waz one!


"IT ANLY TAKES A MINIT TO WIN IT!" 

The game kicked off and Zac aged 5, who waz dressed from heed to toe in black n white garb (hat, top, shorts and socks!) said to me: "Grandad---I want the team in BLUE to win!"
I looked incredulously at him and replied: "OH NO YOO DONT!!!"---and just az those words left my mouth, Paul Dummett crossed from the left az we bore doon on The Leazes goal and hiz cross waz flicked on by Goffran to the feet of Perez and he made ne misteak from a few yards oot, with just ONE minute on the clock! (see top pic) 

LUCKY MASCOTS ZAC (left) and BIRTHDAY BOY, JAMIE

Despite dominatin' the half we couldn't add to the scoreline, despite the fact that a blatant penalty appeal failed when  Gayle waz brought doon by Ipswich's keeper!? <(me 'finks' the ref shud heed for Specsavers---like!)

THE TOON ON THE ATTACK (1st half)

The 2nd half started of drably and it took until the 72nd minute to double wor advantage when Perez fired home from a Richie cross @ The Gallowgate End!

The final nail in 'Bent Nose McCarthy's coffin waz delt in the 78th minute when Perez returned the compliment and supplied Richie, who wellied the baall home to seal the victory!

ACTION IN THE 2nd HALF AZ WE ATTACK THE GALLOWGATE END

After the game 'former SMB manager 'Bent Nose McCarthy' said that we were by far and away the best team in the division!

Toon team: Darlow, Yedlin, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Richie, Shelvey (Hayden 83), Colback, Gouffran (Atsu 75), Perez, Gayle (Mitrovic 79)

Attendance: 51, 963 (approx. 3,000 tractor boys (and gorls!)

*PS: Aa said yesterday that this blog could 'gan doon' az aa couldn't find a way to renew the domain!---az yoo can see we are still 'up and runnin' ---for the 'mo' at least!   

GEORDIE TIMES MIGHT CRASH!

Posted '10:00am bells' Saturday 21st October 2016

I am havin' massive problems tryin' to renew The Geordie Times domain name which runs oot tomorrow!
This may result in mee website crashin' sometime tomorrow az well!

If yoo cant visit this site after then---then yoo know the reason why? ---hope aa can get the problem fixed ASAP! (hopefully!)

Watch this space!---or NOT az the case may be!!!!!!

THE TOON v BENT NOSE McCARTHY'S IPSWICH *** TOMORROW AFTERNOOON!

Posted 'bells' Friday 21st October 2016

Game number 16 of this frantic season takes place @ SJP tomorrow afternoon when 'Bent Nose McCarthy' brings hiz Ipswich side here!


Anothaa 50,000 plus crowd iz predicted by us az we sit proudly on top of the pile in wor quest to get back to 'the holy grail' ASAP!

With 'Rafa's Rotation' its anybodys guess az to which startin' X1 he will pick az we gan for wor

BARNSLEEE 0 THE TOON 2 *** EFL 2016-2017

Posted '1:46pm bells' Wednesday 19th October 2016

TOON PLAYERS CELEBRATE WOR 2nd GOAL IN FRONT OF THE AWAY END!

"THE LONG AND GRINDING ROAD!"

The short trip to sooth Yorkshire took less than 2 hours but 'Big Al' who waz drivin' (NOT the sheet metal workers son!) got lost in Barnsleee toon centre az we tried to find 'The East Dene Workin' Mens Club' where he'd been on a previous visit!
We eventually foond it, but it waz heavin' with Toon fans singin' a mackem peedo song (yi naa the one!) and slaggin' the place off with renditions of:  "Barnsleee's a sh**hole a wonaa go home!", az they banged the tables and waalls!
(Bitin' the hand that feeds yoo iz not very nice, lads!)

After just one 'liquid lubrication' we decided to 'move on' to 'The Dove' boozer just alang the road and within sight of the groond!
It waz less noisy here (and more friendly!) so we stopped there til 'lowse' <(ie: time to gan to the match!)

VIEW OF GROOND FROM 'THE DOVE INN' BEER GARDEN
"A VIEW TO DIE FOR!"
(IF YOU'RE A BARNSLEEE FAN!)

Yi walk doon a steep hill to the groond which winds around newly built hooses like a snake and heeded for the away end.


"DEEPDALE!--DEEPDALE!--HERE I COME!"

News filtered through that 'Blondie Alan the Morris Dancer' couldn't find the turnstiles entrance on hiz ticket which had 'BILL SHANKLY KOP' written on the front? ---The legendary Liverpool manager never played for Barnsleee so why waz there a stand named after him, Blondie' thought?---and then the 'penny dropped'--he'd brought hiz PRESTON away ticket instead and left hiz Barnsleee ticket at yem! (Shankly HAD played for Preston and Preston iz wor next away game!)
We leave yoo to draw your own conclusions! (the tickets wernt even the same colour!) Luckily for him, Toon fan 'International Russcue' came to hiz 'rescue' and foond him a spare ticket!

THE PLAYERS WAALK OOT IN FRONT BARNSLEE'Z '
BEAMISH MUSEUM STAND'!

The forst half waz dominated by 'us' az we attacked the far end from the near 6,000 away section followers, but we couldn't make the breaktrough in this half!
That soon changed not lang after the restart when Dwight Gayle scrambled the baall into the back of the net to break the deadlock and lift the roof off (wait for it!) 'The Palmer Cons. Ltd North Stand'!

1st HALF ACTION AZ THE TOON ATTACK THE FAR GOAL!

We were grindin' oot a result in the long grind to the top of the leegue az we hord that Norwich were 2-2 at Fulham, havin' blown a 2 goal lead---'WE' were top!--for the mo at least!

And then 'the clincher'!----Matt Richie played the baall through to Gayle and he expertly lobbed their keeper az the baall heeded for the net in wot seemed like 'slow motion'!---2-0 up---there waz nee way back for 'The Tykes' now!

THE TOON ON THE *OFFENSIVE--- JUST BEFORE WOR 2nd GOAL!
(*We naa aall the 'BIG' words!)

The lang 'grind' continues on Saturday with a home game against 'Bent Nose McCarthy's' Ipswich side and then its a home game v Preston in the Leegue Cup next Tuesday, before heedin' for Preston for a Leegue game the followin' Saturday!---I wonder if 'Blondie Alan' will take hiz 'spare' BARNSLEEE ticket to that one!????

Toon team: Darlow, Anita, Lascelles, Clark, Dummett, Shelvey, Hayden, Richie (Atsu 82), Diame (Colback 92), Gouffran, Gayle

Attendance: 18, 597 (Barnsleee'z highest of the season by far!) (nearly 6,000 Toon fans)

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